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Googleshng - August 30 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Remember yesterday how I took up a full page and a half with a detailed explanation of something I said a week and a half ago for the benefit of three people who didn't read carefully and thought I posted a huge spoiler for Skies of Arcadia? Would you believe that two people read THAT and accused me of REprinting an unlabelled spoiler? I don't think it's possible to make myself any clearer on the issue. I hope I cleared things up for that original batch though.

You see you two, if you don't read every word in a given block of text, you end up with a completely different overall meaning. For example, if you skip over most of the words in the first paragraph of this intro, you can form the sentence "yesterday I took half of something and carefully posted huge people that accused me of an original batch." That's not even close to what I actually said though, nor is it true. Much like the spoiler living in people's imaginations. 8)

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Dance varmint!

Hey Goog,

I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with one of the few spots in the US to have an original Japanese Dance Dance Revolution 3rd Mix Arcade machine. Anyways, after realizing that I will become bankrupt because of this game, I thought it would be really cool if there was a sort of dance game RPG hybrid, you could like do a little jig here and there to cast a magic spell. Of course you would need to have a few sections that represented the pure dancing fun that is DDR.

-Radrisol (who has had a crowd of over 100 people watch him dance quite badly :)-

Floating in the night sky, like a silver boat, The moon reflects my tears of love and hate... ahem. Where was I? Ah yes, isn't that pretty much how the gameplay of Space Channel 5 works? I also once played a paper RPG where in order to cast a spell, the player would have to draw stuff on the ground, do silly hand gestures, and chant stuff. Between the three things I just mentioned that would be entirely plausable... except of course that it wouldn't really work with a party of characters and would probably gum up enough other things to kill the rest of the RPG elements. The fact still stands though that Aegis is most likely going to read this, so let's hope for sanity's sake he never ends up in a position to make games. 8) Oh, and if you recognize what I was quoting there, have a cookie but don't expect anything else out of me. I only give tildes for index quotes.

Here's a big hint if it's on the tip of your tongue...

Hey (monks sing) GOOG-LE-SH-NG

(note, some Skies of Arcadia spoilers)

Is that a real secret about Chimerasame? I wonder if you have any embarassing secrets. But then again, your a person we know almost nothing about in almost 2 years of Q&A, not even your gender. Therefore, I've concluded that with the help of another person that you are really Xellos. Probobly have gotten that answer and also the idea of you putting a finger to your lips and say "that's a secret" is very likely since you keep many secrets. Also now I got the image of a slime doing manual labor and that's a wierd image. Well, at least you got company for people up all night since I don't sleep at night. Were you ever wondering in Skies of Arcadia that Fina might turn into a wierd magical girl when you got all the moon crystals? Well, they could of done much worse on people in fukus. Especilly the silly idea someone and I came up with. Prince Phil in a fuku. *cackles Dilandauisically* That'd be a good scary pic and as I learned from you, if all else fails, put some person in a fuku to scare people. Hmm, I wonder about you as a magical girl.
Imperial Mog

I don't actually see any SoA spoilers in there, but hey, you're the one who stuck in the warning. Anyway, there seem to be 3 things to adress in this letter, so here we go:
If I were Xellos, then wouldn't my smiley faces look like this? E)
The only character in SoA I could actually picture in any sort of Sailor Moon reference is uh... what'shername... Clara?
The idea of me being a magical girl is downright disturbing. It's not that I'd mind having to wear a skintight short skirted sailor suit mind you, you wouldn't have to bribe me much to do that to begin with. The slack-jawed-glazed-eyed-drooling-stares from every guy I know would be enough of a laugh to make it worth the embarrassment. It's just the term magical. For some reason that word just screams "extremely dorky" to me. Don't know why that is exactly... maybe it's just a side effect from that being THE buzz word slapped onto every disgusting piece of plastic I ever saw advertised as a little kid.

A SHORT multiparter for once!

1. the quote was from the movie "the princess bride." vizzini (sp?) the sicilian guy says it before he dies... anyway, i really liked that movie!

Everyone does. The Princess Bride has THE best dorkiness of title to coolness of movie ratio out there.

2. can someone please explain why nintendo called a GBA game "tomato adventure?"

Of course! It's simple, they uh...
well, they were thinking...
AHA! They were thinking it'd be really funny to force websites to make directory structures with names like this! /games/other/gba/tomato/tomato.html
Either that or someone REALLY misread the word Yamato, or the game has something to do with tomatos.

3. any advice on parents with regard to purchasing new console systems (you seem to have a lot of experience with this...

*drastically hopes that otherwise stupid letter will be posted because he got the quote right*

"this is not the end."
-bill, the mecha master

Hmm... there's 2 things you might mean by that question. First, you could be a parent thinking of getting your kids a new console. In that case, just ask'em which they want, or if they're really little, go with a Gamecube. Not only is it probably your best bet software wise, but Nintendo has a reputation for making nigh indestructible hardware. I've seen someone toss an SNES down a flight of stairs onto a concrete floor, and that SNES still works just fine. Not even a chip taken out of a corner.

Of course, considering you signed this e-mail "the mecha master", unless you're the coolest dad ever, you probably meant the second question: How can I guilt trip my parents into buying me a new console this Christmas? I would suggest a multi-pronged attack. Prong 1- subtle hinting. Grumble in earshot about how no new games are being made for any of the systems you have, look at adds for the system you want and mutter "I wish I could afford that..." etc. Prong 2- Give cause for concern. Hang off couchs listlessly and take no action whatsoever until someone suggests you do something. Then slowly and silently get up and do it, while trying to maintain that body language of someone who has lost the will to live (it looks rather droopy). Optional Bonus Prong- Leave a magazine open to an article about whatever varient on Tetris the system is going to have. Fair warning though, while this will greatly increase your chances of getting it, it will also reduce the time you'll be able to spend playing it. Prong 3- Make absolutely sure that neither your parents, nor anyone prone to ratting you out reads this column, or else you are SOOOOOO busted. Of course, alternatively you could just ask really nicely and do favors for people, but being manipulative is always more fun.

2.5 down, 2.5 to go!

Hey Goog,
Oh, sorry about yelling at you for the statement you made on 8/21. I really should take the time to read things like that before I jump to conclusions. Anyway, I'm a few hours into SoA right now, and it's AWESOME. Really, the sense of balance in everything is great. And the colorful graphics rival Chrono Cross'.

I know you don't have a PS2, but have you heard of Tsugunai? It's an RPG with some time-traveling, and Mitsuda's doing the soundtrack. Sound familiar? I'm not sure if it's out in Japan yet, or if it's coming here. Looks great, though.

Oddly enough, I just decided to play through the original Zelda about two days ago, and the NES Game Atlas has a little description of the manji:

"The shape of Level 3 is based on the Hindu symbol, the manji, which represents good fortune." I think they were trying to get people to realize that it wasn't a swastika. Anyway, there ya go.


Eh, no need for appologies. In the grand scheme of things, your straw breaking my camel's back led to the really weird joke in today's intro! Mentioning you really like the game though, that was nessessary. Whenever I shove a game down people's throats, I always like to hear when they enjoy it. I like hearing when they don't enjoy it too, but that only happened once in the form of really amusing little comic strips... wonder how the "3000G for a night" one is coming along. Moving on though, every scrap of knowledge I have on Tsuganai is contained in your letter here. Do you realize how many games Mitsuda is currently doing the sound track for by the way? I believe it's 4, all by different companies. It's always great when someone is really talented, most likely sitting pretty cash wise, and still works themselves to death, isn't it? Finally, as for the whole manji thing, I got SO MANY letters full of little fun facts I already knew about the little bent-armed-plus that I exclaimed at one point that if I got one more, I'd uh... do something. Of course, since I seem to have forgotten what that something was, I guess I can't do it now. Hope it wasn't fun...

THIS multiparter will be long though...

a) Zelda's new graphical style had me laughing at my friend who was not too long ago raving on about Zelda for the GC. Since this happened,Êquestions of the GC being a kiddy system start fluttering about once more. Just what is Nintendo doing is beyond me, but do you think with something as drastic as this that they'd do something as drastic as bring Square onboard?! *gasp!*

If your friend is proclaiming that the GameCube looks like it'll be a "kiddy" system just point him at some screens of Eternal Darkness, and when screens actually appear from them, Resident Evil 0 and Perfect Dark 0. You know, it just hit me that those two names are just coincidence. The Gamecube seems to have finally broken that trend of most games on a given Nintendo system using the same naming scheme. At least that's what I'm hoping. While we're on the subject, can I just take this opportunity to point out that there is, in fact, no such thing as a "kiddy" system. Seriously, just try and name one. I'll show you a dark gritty game for it. Oh, and just to take out the obvious ones ahead of time, NES- Shadowgate, SNES- Shadowrun

b) Just playing through Valkyrie Profile (lovely game what!) again, can you tell me how low Valkyrie's Seal level must be to get the A-ending and from what Chapter is best to start lowering it (via holding Einherjar, triggering events, visiting places etc.)

You know, a while back someone sent me a big long detailed list on how to get it, but I don't recall where I put it. Basically though, if you only send up one person per chapter, take off the ring at the end of every chapter, and do all those fun little extra scenes at the last minute before sending up who'shisface you should be plenty low enough for the A ending. Greedily hoarding all the artifacts doesn't hurt either as I recall. We almost definately have an FAQ or two up with a section on getting the A ending too, so click that big shiny Games link in the sidebar and check them out too. I seem to recall the magic number is 35 by the way, but it's been forever so don't quote me on that.

c) Diablo 2 Amazon class weapons... spears, javelins or bows? I personally go with spears then switch to javelins during boss battles, but for some reason unfathomable to me bows are a more popular choice *shrug* using a Vicious Pike with Jab werks for me (just used Lightning Bolt javelins on Diablo and toasted his ass).

I have one of every class. The Amazon is on the lowest level by an order of magnitude. Uses a bow though, just so I can have one character specialized in long range combat.

d) Played Saiyuki yet? Then can you explain why the spell effects of Firedart, Poison and others take so damn long to cast when Ironskin casts straight away? it's not like they're graphically heavy and this game was released after FFTactics!

Sadly I haven't had a chance to pick Saiyuki up yet. As for why some spells are unnaturally slow, well, there are so many possible answers to that, and only the programmers can tell you which it is... actually, the programmers almost definately couldn't tell you either, since I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue if they knew what caused it.

e) Speaking of FFTactics, I'm still looking to buy my own copy (had to live with a mod-chip copy all this time), so any word on the re-release of ~*WORKING*~ versions of this re-released game?

That's basically it... for now anyway,

- twisty "The Ginrei twins kick ass!"

They rerereleased it not too long after that fiasco, so you should be fine if you grab a copy now. Oh, and is that a Porky Pig word or what?

So why can't the princess just lie down and slide under the door?

Hi Googleshng (I hope I spelled that right),

I wanted to talk about a game no one really seems to want to talk about- Paper Mario. It's a great RPG! Okay, so it's not as epic/awe-inspiring/controversial/groundbreaking as, say, Final Fantasy or Xenogears or what have you, but it's fun, and isn't that what video games are about, anyway? And so what if it has cartoony, silly graphics? It still has a VERY involving and challenging battle system and you actually have to pay attention to what you're doing instead of pushing a button and waiting to make the next command!

Uh... right. Questions. Must ask questions! Must stop rambling! ^_^; Um, anyway... I was just wondering if you've played it yet and what you thought of it. Who was your favorite party member? Mine would be Parakarry, since his abilities do a fair amount of damage (but a fair amount of damage in PM is, what, 5? Oh, well) and can even save your butt by quickly getting rid of an extra monster or two without losing a chance to still get exp. And the next question... Didja think it was a hard game? I certainly did. I lost count of the times I saw poor Mario keel over in Mount Lavalava and Crystal Palace, but I might have not leveled-up enough for those two places... but then again, the highest level in the game is, like, 25. But, hey, the low levels, HP and FP makes it harder, which is always a good thing!

Oh! One last PM question, possibly containing a minor spoiler- Did you find Jr. Troopa to be THE most obnoxious little creep you've ever met? While nothing will ever top Ultros for stupidity and annoyance, Troopa came pretty darn close when he challenged me in the final FREAKIN' dungeon! >_< At least you get to see him get blown up in the credits. ^_^

Well I think I've rambled and praised Paper Mario enough, so I think I'd better stop now. ^_^

"They oughta call the sequel 'Paper Bowser'!" -The Koopa Bros.

~CherrieGal, Paper Mario fangirl extraodinaire (now I KNOW I didn't spell that one right)

Yes, Paper Mario's a pretty spiffy game.I actually really like the whole small scale numbers concept. As for my favorite sidekick, hmm... I'm going to have to go with Watt. Simplest attack, ignores defense, reveals secret stuff. Nice. As for being hard, well, it keeps me on my toes, but the only HARD RPG I've played since the early 16-bit era was SaGa Frontier 2... and that was just evil, not the good kind of hard.


I think I'll buy a DC just for SoA, even though I've never seen any screens or played it in the least. Is that wise?? I've done stuff like that before, and I've never been disappointed. Bye.
~Joey~ "There's a penguin in the shower!!!!"

Well, I have yet to see anyone who didn't LOVE SoA, so you have some pretty good odds there. Besides, the DC has a bunch of other cool games too, like Chuchu Rocket.

your evil

Thanks! I was wondering where I put that!


There are 3 things wrong with this letter. The spelling of Grotto, the fact that it's all in caps, and the fact that it's a walkthrough question. Usually when I call something a walkthrough question, I mean that in the time it takes to send me whatever obscure, very specific, gameplay question it is about a game I haven't played in over 3 years if at all, you could have just gone to RPGamer's FAQ page on the game in question and found your answer in a walkthrough. In this case though, I mean I would have to write an eighth of a walkthrough to the game to give a satisfactory answer. I can give an unsatisfactory one though: Solve all the puzzles, then kill the boss.

Everyone will probably dissagree with me, but those baddies in the new zelda video are not moblins. Moblins are humanoid bull dogs, or at least they were in the past.

Hmm... upon closer inspection you seem to be right, but hey, Moblins, Orcs, Anthropomorphoid Pigs, they all fit in the same ecological niche.

The Last Laugh:

Someone offered every single game he was looking for, but since the one he took up hasn't gotten to him yet, Kahgani will be guest hosting one last time tomorrow.

Googleshng "Inconcievable!"
See, my response to that second letter up there is why I can never bring myself to kill ye olde gender running gag. Picture a cute girl being misconstrued as a fat hairy freak in a sailor suit or vice versa and you have to at least chuckle.

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