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Googleshng - June 28 '01- 3:00 Eastern Standard Time

My cat really wanted to go outside a little while ago. I wouldn't let him out. So, he went over to a screen window (which may I add is pretty hard to open on a muggy day like this), managed to squeeze a claw under the bottom (this was shut pretty tight), wriggled it open enough to get part of his paw in, then slid said paw along the bottom of the window systematically openning it enough that he could get out. That's a disturbing degree of enginuity for something that only weighs maybe 2 kg.

Someone is sending Traks a game he was looking for, but since to my knowledge he hasn't gotten it yet, he should be guest hosting one last time tomorrow. That's everything that comes to mind, so on with the column!

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Shotty goods

Hey Goog,

My first question concerns Sony and their hardware. While the company is great about coming out with new technology, after blowing out a playstation and now a playstation 2, I'm having my doubts about their hardware. Seriously, think how many people have written in about having to run their playstation on its side just to get the CD ROM to turn. What's your take on the matter?

Second, for a bit of nostalgia, I'm curious about the first video game console you ever owned. I'm sure quite a few people remember the old 8-bit Nintendo system, but did you own an Atari, or even an IntelliVision. Man, that thing had some of the funnest games on it. They didn't look so hot, but they played fun for so long.



As other people in my inbox have pointed out, it isn't really fair to say that Sony makes shotty hardware in general. The best VCR I've ever seen in my life is made by Sony, and has been working fine for years. For that matter, my PSX has never had any problems... except for the power not coming on when I hit the button 3% of the time, two first party memory cards biting it, and part of the disc holding peg falling off one day.. OK, maybe that's a bad example. Anyway though, statistically speaking, the original PSX is the second least reliable video game system I have ever seen (the least being the Atari 5200, the controllers basically shipped broken). The PSX2 I don't have enough stories about to judge, but a friend of mine has gone through FIVE in as many months, several controllers (one of which had the main circuit board CRACK IN HALF after the controller was hit with something), and I believe it was 6 copies of The Bouncer (due to the system scratching games to death if it's moved while running). No horror stories from anyone else, but that's quite a few from one person. Oh, and to finish answering your second question, in addition to the aforementioned Atari 5200, I also happen to have an Intellivision around. With an RPG for it no less. Weird AD&D based dungeon crawl. What's disturbing is that that's the second mention of the Intellivision I've heard tonight.

So would Goofy have a Limit Break?

Dear Googleshng,

My friend and I have been bickering for some time about the Final Fantasy movie, and who it was made by. Obviously, it's been made by Square, but my friend, let's call him Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadu ("thats the worst name I've ever heard!") insists that square is owned by Disney, because he's sure Disney owns everything. I know they own a lot, but have they spread so far? The reason for this is we read an aritcle in a magazing printed by a company we know for sure is owned by Disney, and in this article, all it did was praise Final Fantasy : The Spirits Within. Please shed some light on this otherwise dark corner.

Depressed in Disney Land

Disney does not by any stretch of the imagination own Square. The only connection the two have is their collaboration on the drunken bet that is Kingdom Hearts. Aside from that, the only connections Disney has with Japan at all are the fact that The Lion King is a blatant ripoff of Kimba the White Lion, they recently bought the translation rights to all of Haiyo Miyazaki's stuff, and the minor little detail that the traditional anime drawing style originated from someone pretty much spoofing Disney's style.

Dead links and Deus

Hey Google, I was searching through your rant and found 'Kulisumas,' where did you get that? Oh, and when I tried to download your starcraft campain my computer crashed...

That ChuChu Rocket commerical was a broke link too.

Ok, I do have a real question for you:

And it's about xenogears, what is the best way to beat Deus, kill his little helpers around him, or just go for him? Leveling up won't do any good, I think, and I believe it's a long way out.

Where did I get "Kulisumas"? Uh, by saying Christmas with a Japanese accent? Anyway though, first off, thanks for mentioning the broken links, I assumed a few would crop up when I switched servers. As for your Xenogears question, first, you CAN get back to the world map right from that last save point if you need to. You can probably get by as is though, especially if you have 6 Angel Armor +3s (50%+50%=0 damage from that major attack). You don't have to kill the 4 little sub-bosses, but considering you have 5 characters just twiddling their thumbs and that convenient swap point, you might as well take out as many as you can without breaking out the 3 characters you use. I recommend the healer and the fuel leech just so you can finish up quicker. Beyond that the only advice I can think of is that you should spent as much time as possible at Attack Level Infinity, especially with Fei.

Collect'em! Trade'em! Cast spells!

Is there any trick to getting the cards on Castlevania: COTM, or is it all to luck? I was playing yesterday and I killed a monster, who dropped a "Cockatrice" card, but unfortunately I died before I could save. I went back to the same spot after i reloaded and he dropped some arm armor instead : /

Pimp-BOT 9k

OK, each card is randomly dropped by a particular kind of monster, just like any other kind of item in the game. The luck stat affects how likely it is for them to drop one, so boost it as much as you can and, well, kill every kind of monster 20 times in a row or so. As a general rule the ones with cards tend to live only in 1 or two rooms right next to each other.

Big Jo

You've probably heard this a dozen times or more already, but...

The Norse word for giant is Jotun, with Jotnir as the plural form

A total of 3 people pointed this out to me, and after the first I couldn't believe how I could have forgotten such a thing. So, thanks.

Another one?

Heya Goog,long time no column. Anyway.

I just got Xenogears last week! Yes,you may berate me for my neglect to have gotten it when it first came out,but anyway,I'm kinda stuck. You see,I'm having trouble beating the underwater gear the second time. Any advice?

The Masked Mystere

The best advice I can give you is to take all of those odd gear parts you have that say they make you fight better underwater and such and equip them. You'd be amazed what a difference they make. Bart's new Depth Charge command is pretty spiffy too. For the record, equipping specialized equipment is something you should always do from there on.

The Last Laugh:

I'm starting to feel like a vampire here. Can't get on this computer until the sun goes down because it's too hot, have to get off before dawn since it's too bright to sleep then... plus these birds are really annoying. Anyway, give Traks a nice sendoff for tomorrow, I'll be hiding from the light until then.

Googleshng "I don't care if it's the source of all life, the thing's too bright!"
Back to the crypt I go.

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