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Your name is Steve.

Rob Hamilton - August 9 '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

And his face, which was a paper-white mask of evil, sang us this song.

Your name is Steve.

Brad: Dude. (If you knew anything, you should have known to expect that!) I'm back for another quick shot at making people laugh and .. what's that Chim? Answering question.. what the heck kinda job is that? Oooh, I did it? Over 100 columns? Damn. Are you sure it was me? Well, spank an arctic monkey and run him all over Europe like the Roman's on a holiday! I think I almost remember that.. it's only been what, 2 years? :) Okay fine, I remember it. :P Okay, so what has Brad been up to in the last who-knows-how-long. Let's see, I'm actually still in school (though getting quite a bit closer to finishing). I attend Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and I'm a senior in Computer Science. (After reading some old columns, I claimed to be a math/comp sci double major, but math homework now drives me insane so I dropped it like one would a incontinent lapdog). After graduation, my current plans are to go to graduate school for Philosophy (a .. bit of a change). My area of Philosophic interest is applied ethics, especially as pertaining to technology and technology businesses. A mouthful, but it drives the girls nuts. (Well, it *does* make them run away :]). Other than that, I work the night shift a hotel here in San Luis, which gets my rent covered until the tech industry in this area picks up and I can get myself a better job that won't mind me being at school most of the business day. :P

Last time I talked with you guys, I was dating Heather, and a few people asked about it, so I decided to bring it up.. Heather and I are no longer dating, we've gone our seperate ways. I was dating someone else until not too long ago, and that's no longer going on either, so at the moment, I'm single, and just kinda relaxing on it at that point.

Anyhow, I've also started a livejournal recently, because a few of my friends hang out there, and I really wanted to get back into writing again. You can view it here. I do update it somewhat regularly (I really only started it recently, so there isn't a WHOLE lot there yet.) I wholly encourge people to post comments on my rants and whatnot. If any of you were regular readers/question senders during my day, I'd LOVE to hear from you. So go, read, click away!

Back to you, Chim. :)

Your name is Steve.

Chim: Umm..
Back to you, letters!

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Chime, i gotta talk through you to get to Hates56k.


this is what i gathered from the PSO WIN site.
OS Windows98 or Me or 2000 or XP(Direct X 8.1 required!?
minimum CPU Pentium III 450MHz, good CPUPentium III 700MHz
minimum MEM 64MB Reccomended 128MB

there was also a side note in there about Sony Vaios. i have no clue what it is, but if that's what you got, i can't help you cause i can't read Kanji all that well from the PSO Windows Home Page. (if at all!)

Your name is Steve.


Thanks for letting me get through to him. now then, questions!

did you get yourself a spoon first play through on FF4?

Brad: No, I didn't :( I don't think I even went down and saw Yang my first time through.. I abandoned him to that little house full of fairies that just wanted to be spanked.... er that musta been my version, heh heh.

Think Square will ever release a game creator where a person can create their own sort of Final Fantasy sort of like RPGmaker 2000 did?

Brad: I doubt Square will do this. Just from a money-making perspective, they'd be better served using the time to pump out a small piece of just about any of their games than spend an inordinate amount of time making meta-games.

Is it true that besides doing a remake for Final Fantasy I and II for the PSX, they also did a rerelease with both games combined some years back on the NES? or was that a hack someone did? as for Brad, i remember him. (the name at least..^_^;;;)

Brad: Ah, to be lost in the short term memory of the fickle gaming community.. CURSES... CURSES!!!


Man, my first time through FFIV was a long time ago. I don't think I got the spoon, but I did go back and get the Sylph summon after getting the Big Whale.

Morrowinter Nights!... no.

Hey Chime,
Alright, I've got a dilema on my hands, and I need someone's professional opinion on this. It's my birthday, and of course, being an RPGamer, there are a few RPGs that I want; namely Neverwinter Nights and The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind (PC). However, as it turns out, I can only get one. Which do you suggest? Now, keep in mind, I liked Diablo II, disliked Baldur's Gate II, and have never played an Elder Scrolls game before. What do you think?
- DynaBladeX

To be honest, I looked at Morrowind, and I just decided that I didn't have enough time to dump into it. It looks GREAT. I hear nothing but good things about it. Neverwinter Nights I actually own myself, and have played, but I've got small hangups which have plagued me -- don't get me wrong, I believe that it is an excellent game, but I think it had potential to be much, MUCH more. My call on the solid way to spend your $50 -- From what you've said, you didn't like Baldur's Gate, and NWN is enough like it that I'm gonna hafta suggest you personally going with Morrowind. I don't think you'll regret the purchase.

Yeah, the similarities between Baldur's Gate and NWN are certainly worth noting. As is the fact that NWN is reputed to be quite buggy. Though, I did figure out what it was that was keeping it from running on my computer: not an actual bug my graphics card is too old. I can watch avi files encoded with Divx 5, no problem--but NWN is just too taxing for it!

itam plz. giv me itam, monay plz

Hey Brad! Oh, uh, hi Chime.
Brad, I know you used to be into Asheron's Call (Hell, you are the sole reason I chose it over EQ or UO), so what are you thoughts on AC2? Meaning, think you'll play it?

Drudge Steve

Do the Drudge dance you naughty cat-like bipedial crazysteve, you! DO IT FOR ME NOW! .. screw it, I liked the Mosswart dance better anyhow.. :) As for your question, no, I do not think that I will be playing AC2.. after about 2 years burnt in the MMORPG market (first in Asheron's Call, then with Dark Age of Camelot -- anyone want to buy a lvl 50 minstrel? :P)) I think I'm somewhat done with the genre... it's rather time-consuming, and time is something I have in ever-short supply these days. It's also relationship damaging, and while I don't have that to worry about at the moment.. habits are hard to kick. That one was doubly so.

MMORPGs are intriguing, though my experience is limited. They fall somewhere between regular gaming and IRC--a combination which sounds kind of deadly, seeing as both of those are notorious for eating my time. If I were to get into an MMORPG, though, it'd have to be something where I had friends playing at about the same level. I came close to that, once, but these friends stopped gaining any levels, claiming they had "other things" to do with their time. Pff, "other things." What a ridiculous concept!

I still want a story-sequel to FFIV

Hey, I'm really really confused about FFX:another story, Is FFX:another story a playable game or is it just clips or the sequel?

I'm not sure what you mean. These are seperate games, it looks like. More than just clips, certainly!

You know, a game they really need a sequel to is Beyond the Beyond. I mean, whatever happens to that character.. you know, the one who did the "whoaooOAooaooa" thing and pushed the guy .. you know, with the sword thing and the HEEEYAH... that one. Right, anyway, they could do "BEYOND THE BEYOND 2 -- this time we'll develop the characters, NO REALLY" .. Like that little yellow guy. I mean, he sucked and he knew it, but he didn't do much other than cry and get bigger halfway through the game. If I wanted that, I'd kick a fighter from FF1 in the knee. Question? I never avoid questions.. no idea what you're talking about......

eXistenZ, brought to you by Zeal!

Alright...they've already ported this game to the PSX. But I recently read somewhere(cant remember for the life of me where.), that they were once again remaking the game for the PS2...fix those annoying load times and such. Just wondering if now would be a good time to get rid of Final Fantasy Chronicles or hang onto it. LoL. Thanks in advance!


We'll have some system way off in the future, tapping directly into your spinal column and providing a full range of sensory input that would put the PS9 from that old commercial to shame. And CT will be remade for it. And I will spend the rest of my life in Nordstein Bekkler's hut, collecting clones of all the characters.

Brad: I've personally heard nothing about this, but I'm finding it hard to believe that they'd put out yet another release of it on the PS2 just for something like load times... then again, people do silly things. Like stealing candy from babies.

... hey, the kid hadn't even opened the skittles... it was fair game!

Wild Prehensile Tails

Is it just me or was Wild Arms (1) a bitchin game? When I first got it I was blown away. I especially liked the beginning animation. I was disappointed by the second one though, I thought it wasn't nearly as good. So how do you think the third Wild Arms will be?

You know, I knew an albino monkey once.. he was rather fair skinned, as many albino monkeys tend to be. He had this really odd affection for bannana peels, which really prevented him from attaining the sort of political power that you claim to have, but I'm getting away from the topic which is Wild ARMs 3, a story entirely devoid of albino monkeys, if I recall correctly, which I may not, seeing as I'm not the leading authority on albino monkeys in video games, because well, it just doesn't pay so well, and then again, neither does being Mr. Run-on-Sentence of doom in the middle of SOMEONE ELSE'S COLUMN NOW DOES IT YOUNG MAN?

*blinkblink*, *blinkblink* ...

Albino monkey? Eh, I still want to play the elusive Albino Ratatosk. Now there's obscurity for ya!

Wild Arms 1 was good, indeed. Reminiscent in parts of Lufia II, which I loved. Not quiiite as good, but general ballpark!

Your name is Steve.


Forgive me for being ignorant, but what is a GURP?
-illegal allen

Brad: That's the sound you make when you hiccup right before a burp... air-in, No OUT, no IN, GURRARPpp *kaboom*

Chimerasame: No clue what just one gurp is, though my dad pronounces "grape" that way if he's feeling silly. GURPS, on the other hand is more interesting than mere fruit. The rest of these quickies will be answered by Brad alone.

Can you tell googly-wo/man to not go as far as posting pictures of the various arachnids in his room? I'm arachnaphobic and I'd really freak out if he goes into much more details about his daily battles for control of his room.


Google is lying to you -- he's really in league with the spiders to overthrow the city government and put in its place a puppet government comprised of spider-like people, only identifiable by the fact that they have 8 legs. Of course, they'll be running the police station, so if you call them up to try and get a creepy 8-legged politician out of your house, they'll just laugh and hang up. Much like the operator when you ask them for the phone number to "an exciting place in Canada."

I love you Brad!!! You're the main man! Suikoden forever!
I love you! I'm not gay, honest, but I still love you!

I loved me once .. it was a really intense time, but then I left me for someone else... I wish I'd come back to me... it'd be like old times! :(

Greetings (Monks sing) CHIM-ER-A-SA-ME AND BRAD
I have to ask where have you been all of this time and how's the significant other? What sort of things are you doing? Am I the only one who thinks it's really hilarious in Lunar 2 that such a rigid guy like Leo could have such an off-the-wall alter-ego in Mystere? Also, I need people to visit my website and e-mail me so I can post another Q&A and it's about anything.
Imperial Mog

Hey now, hey now, there's only one person per column allowed to PLUG THE LIVING HELL out of their web content, and that is .. um.. NOT YOU, it must be Chim, or maybe your mom (yes the link works, and no, I have no idea what the hell a goat is doing there, but WEIRD AL APPROVES!.) As for me, I have been doing school (One year left, then grad school .. baby!), and I have no significant other at this time.

I know that this is not rpg related, and I am sorry, but after everyone refering to the Hitchiker Trilogy's radio show, I was wondering if there was someplace I could hear it? I love the all books from the series, and the Dirk Gently books, and I even managed to sit through about half of the god awful thing that BBC called a tv show. Well, that's really all. I was just wondering if there was a place on-line I could hear them.

The MP3s to the radio show do exist, but I'm not entirely sure where you'd get them.. except you could probably try the same places you'd get normal mp3s -- I think one of my friends has them all burned to CD, but well, he's married and it's past his bedtime, and well, I'm not going to call, his wife will hurt me. Doh!


Well, thanks for lettin' me do this, I had a good time, it's always good to come back and kick it with the ol' people.. and hey, this time nobody said, "GIVE US THOR!" .. heh heh. Then again, hardly anyone remembered me, so how would they remember him? :) What can ya do! Anyhow, I'm off to perpetuate my ad hoc sleeping schedule once again .. boy school is gonna hit me like a ton of bricks, hah! Peace out to all my readerz, and a hearty monkey-ho, and off we go!

Brad "Whoa, that's enough
hidden text
to choke a camel!" Lohr

Chiming out:

Not much I can add to that. Tomorrow should be a normal column with nothing special going on--a weird occurance, to be sure!

chime "Turn around"

Your name is Steve.

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Your name is Steve.