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Rob Hamilton - August 06 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Seems that, in response to my question last night about whether the site should cover more games or not, just about everybody seemed to think we should expand coverage. The problem is, in order to do this we'd most likely have to sacrifice quality, quantity, or both, when covering the games we do now. It's a toss-up, and it's hard to expand a little without being forced to expand into an entire category. Say, strategy games. If we covered Heroes of Might and Magic, then people would demand Warcraft coverage, and who knows what else.... Sooner or later, with a good fraction of our energy on the new category, we wouldn't be as thorough on the old.

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KimaKimaKimaKimaKima Chi-mer-a-saaaaame,
Remember when talking about George W. Bush was funny? Yea, it was a couple minutes ago, but damn, that was one good crack.
Anywho, questions to bombard you with! Watch out!
1. I'm one of those non-Xenogears players (it's true, I'm a Xenovirgin), and I'd like to know: what makes this game so damn special?
2. I saw a *new* Suikoden on sale for $15. I have $14. Should I find a dollar and buy it?
3. Do you feel that any one person has influenced you alot through writing or art? (I love Ian J. of RPG World.)
Well, I wish I could talk more, but I have to eat a ketchup-drenched sombrero right now for no particular or comprehensible reason.
~Spektre~ "Quoting people with ellipses is fun, especially when you make something sound dirty!"

1. Most people like the plot above anything else. It's pretty deep and involved... some would say too much so. I'm not really the person to ask, though.
2. Yes.
3. I don't think any one person stands out especially... Heh, RPG World's illustrator's name has always struck me as humorous, because I know an Ian J. from someplace else as well. Some of you readers might have heard of IJ as well! Give yourselves cookies.


The porridge is too hot, always too hot.


Ice elementals shouldn't eat porridge anyway, it'll get stuck in their system and look ridiculous through all that transparent ice.


Can you please explain to me WHY i read the Q&A everyday, when I KNOW that none of the letters pertain to me(or don't interest me)? Whenever the collumn gets cancelled I get pissed, but when it's there, i skip half of it. Can you explain to me what's going on inside my head? To answer your question, RPGamer needs to cover more 'obscure' games.

The first time I read this, it looked a lot like a flame. But on second thought, the question seems to mostly be a psychological query about the reader. My diagnosis, as Doctor Frasier Crane: In spite of your aversion to most of the content, you find my terrible jokes irresistable for some reason.


Hey Chimerasame, I don't have access to the singing monks, so that'll just have to do. ^.^

1. How're you today?

2. I was reading another review of FF8 on some dude's website and he made the typical comment of what kind of love story doesn't have to words I love you? What's up with that. Words are such petty things in the world today, unfortunately. Sometimes it's just obvious. Why do you think Han said "I know" when Leia confessed her love?

3. OK, this is an actual question. I have a Barbarian on Diablo II and I'm fighting Physical Immune monsters. I can't kill anything. HELP!!!

4. Oh wait. That was supposed to be a question... ummm... What should I do?

OK, ummm... yeah, no more questions, I'm tired and all my other questions are based on MechCommander2 which is not an RPG. Lata,


1. I'm doin' alright, kinda tired though.
2. Lack of words combined with lack of facial expression make Squall a dull boy. Now, hold your horses, Squallites, I don't hate the guy... but he could have talked... or smiled... a bit more than he did. Awesome fighting skills, though, he put every single GF to shame with Renzokuken.
3.4. Get some wizard friends? I haven't played Diablo, but knowing it can be multiplayer, this sounds reasonable...

Intrastaff letter

Hey Chime,
I'm currently in the process of playing Suikoden 2, and I must say, this game really does suck (well, at least in the translation/localization department). I'm about 16 hours into the game, so far I count:
5 uses of "we" when the character means "they"
17 occurances of the wrong character moving on the screen in relation to the dialog.
1 occurance of the hero being called "Jowy" instead of his name.
3 occurances of "well" instead of "we'll"
and about 9999 other assorted pieces of crap.

That being said, the game is still fun, but well, it does not live up to my expectations. Now, onto Xenogears.

Xenogears would have been a great game, if they had stopped after one disc. That "witness chair" sequence was enough to make me put the game down for over a year.

Let's see, what else, oh yes, Final Fantasy Tactics is a SONY title, not a Square EA title. That being said, I still find the whole sequence of dying FF's hilarious. Oh, speaking of Final Fantasy IV, Square has still not released a statement. Supposedly, they're having weekly meetings to discuss the status of the whole thing, but as I said when I did Q&A a few weeks back, they're never going to release a statement.

Anymore in the Final Fantasy Department.... Well, I do have a nice FF:TSW poster here, but no frame yet.... SQEA's PR people spent the weekend playing through FF X so they could tell all us nice media types all about it. My new laptop rocks.

Anything else... oh yes, I finished Chrono Cross yesterday (with the CC ending), now I have to go get the others ;) Cheers, and whatever.

Martin Drury

For the massive amount of text in the game, I thought the fraction of well-translated words was pretty decent. Of course, one might stretch that argument to say Final Fantasy Tactics had a decent translation, so I'm not sure how well it stands. The thing that impressed methe most about Suikoden II was the opposed strategists. Leon, Shu, Jowy, Apple, and random others at times, coming up with brilliant schemes to conquer entire regions, and trying to anticipate each other doing so... I can't think of any other game that had the same degree of well-written strategy. And, if you name your main character Jowy, you avoid one of those problems entirely!

As far as Xenogears' second disk, I actually preferred listening to the story than fighting in more long dungeons like the sewers. Heck, if Xenogears were an anime, I'd just watch that instead of playing the game. Hmm. I need to go watch Eva!

Ok, so it isn't Square that's encouraging emulation, it's Sony as a whole. I think that's actually more impressive. o-o

Quote guessing

The quote is from Might and Magic V: Darkside of Xeen. One of the Drawkcab Monks says it.

Hey, that was fast! Bonus crowbar to whoever recognizes the unusual fact about said quote. And it can't be the same guy, either. :P

But where's Andy? :(

Yes! Yes! Someone finally agrees with me! Conan O'Brien should be president! I sent away for tickets for the show again just to go to New York to rally for him, but nothing's come yet... In the mean time, I'm going to make little Conan in 2008 bumper stickers. Anyone want one?
~Mary, ShinRa HQ janitor

I'll take one. Who should be his running mate? Max? Joel? Maybe if Andy doesn't return to the world of the living, he can pick a random person he's had as a guest. Sarah Silverman!

Guest avian

Yo Chim,

Recently I have started to replay the engima that is FF8. What I want to know is why the hell people have such big issues with the Junction system. It is _not_ that bad. The fact that is requires to actually think for more than 15 seconds to get everything adjusted the way you want it does not automatically make the game suck! What makes the game suck is the fact the whole story goes to pot in Disc 3, but that is a different story.

Anyway, here are a few of questions:

1) What are your favorite Suikoden II characters? I like Flik and Ridley, personally.

2) What do you think about FF10's new battle system and its removal of the world map? Personally I think that these changes are all well and good, but I hope that they don't become standard.

3) How many consecutive Reppu misses does in Xenogears does it take in a row to make me want to snap the disc in half?

Lepant, Beholder of the Evil Pant of Doom

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It. Now that that's done with, I don't have any problems with Junction. It's Draw I have issues with. Because enemies have an unlimited amount of magic, the game encourages the player to sit in a battle and draw until he has 99 (or perhaps 297) of a certain spell. I ended up getting most of my magic by modding cards into items, then modding the items into spells. I found it a lot easier, and generally capable of producing more powerful magic. I believe it failed with Ultima and Aura, which were easily enough obtained elsewhere.
I've always thought the performing girls from the beginning of the game were pretty cool--Rina and Eilie. Too bad they need Bolgen around to do their unite, though, I never had much use for him. Valeria, Sierra, Kasumi, Teresa, all cool. Shu and Jowy pulled some highly impressive stunts. Viktor is nice because he's ridiculously powerful physically. No matter what secret characters you get, Viktor is probably still the strongest fighter. (Someone might correct me on that.) Oh, and, the returning McDohl, or as he will probably be in my most recent game, LcDohl, is a wonderful asset to keep around.

3. I don't know, why don't we go ask Mister Owl?
Hedwig: That's Ms. Owl! Hooo. And, the answer is forty-two, what did you-hooo expect?

Two successive letters from the same guy

Well, I don't know in what RPG that line may appear, but it's a famously old palindrome (Cue: They Might Be Giants' "I Palindrome I" to play over the rest of this message). I'm amused that some designer out there managed to work it into a game. It is from a game, right? I hope someone else knows which one. I'd even pay ebay prices for such cleverness.

Andrew "trying to look Italian through the musical valium" Sullivan

Last night (around 5 in the morning), I followed a link frm to a site called 8-Bit theatre, but now I can't seem to remember where on the site that link was or what the other site's address was. Could you help a boy out here? I read all 63 (or thereabouts) episodes (as my partner kept bugging me to turn off the laptop and go to sleep) and am anxious to read the next installment.

Andrew Sullivan

Well, since earlier in this column I said I would, free crowbar for noticing the palindrome. The game is old, but if you don't mind a skeleton plot, and if you like puzzles, then it's a nice one. Might and Magic V: Darkside of Xeen. If you get this game, I recommend you get it in a package with Might and Magic IV; the games can be played together as connecting worlds.

Part II: The link was probably in Scar's column a couple days ago. Here's 8-bit theater.

The Last Laugh:

As rarely as I use quickies, I should really take that table out of my template. I've been deleting it every time I make a new column, and sooner or later I'll miss part of the deletion process, at best causing a floating word "Quickies" with no table under it, at worse screwing up the entire table system of the whole page.

Aegis will be here tomorrow, to answer your questions with the power of an improved column format. Someday I'll get around to switching to that one, or at least something similar... but today is clearly not that day. Sleep for Chim!

Hey, my people. Tomorrow's topic is a bit of a stretch, even for me, but I'm gonna run with it anyway. I want you to write in and tell me about yourself. With 2000-or-so readers of this column, I know for a fact that plenty of you have interesting and unique occupations, educations, locations, experiences, and stories. If you can relate what you tell me to RPGs or gaming, all the better, but it's not required.

Also, and especially if that topic just doesn't float your boat, tell me what you think about the recent Final Fantasy Tactics release fiasco. Are game companies becoming too careless? As always, feel free to write in about other stuff, too, and I'll see you all in 24 hours time.

Chimerasame "Rushing for Clive"

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