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Rob Hamilton - July 21 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

No, for those of you who asked, the closing of last column and title of this one doesn't give Google's gender away, nor does it even refer to the slime at all. It refers to whoever was going to sign up for this column--and since no one had done so yet at the time, that person became the "late host." Why it's designated as female is beyond my guess.

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This isn't a question!

In the July 19th column, "BL Alien" wrote in with:

>2. Which version of FF4 does FFC come with? I really hope it's the
>hard-type, since I've been looking forward to fighting Culex when my
>main character isn't a fat plumber. The programmer's room sounds
>kewl, too. How else did Square rip us off with its SNES release here?
I don't know how common this misconception is, but Culex is not in any version of FF4. Neither is he in either of the two as-yet-unreleased-outside-Japan FFs, FF2 or FF3. And just for the record, he isn't in the Japanese version of FF6 either (unlike FF4, nothing significant was removed from our version of FF6; a few people and things were renamed and that's it).

Culex is a "Final Fantasy-ish" character invented for Super Mario RPG. And that's it. Yes, the FF4 battle music plays when you fight him, and the FF Prologue plays after the battle. It's all part of the joke, kind of like the 8-bit Mario sprite and SMB1 music you can see and hear by walking behind a curtain elsewhere in the game.

Super Mario RPG was full of cool gags like that. Paper Mario had a handful, but it didn't quite stand up to SMRPG glory. I still say that they need to make a traditional RPG (hit points, experience, multiple party members, etc.) out of the world of Zelda... but that's another story entirely.

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be..." - Yogi Berra

I do recall that in the original FF that Red Wizards (not Red Mages, you have to get the class change first) learn Exit, it is the highest spell that they can learn.

I just bought FF2 for $40 (nyah nyah) and I just got to the Giant of Bab-il, when I realized that I had forgotten to get the Odin summon from Baron and wake up Yang with the Ai no Fryingpan (I just love that name!) to get Slyph. Can I still go back and do those things after I trash the Giant?

Am I the only one who thinks its silly that FuSoYa looks like a fried egg when he's dead?


You can return and get the Odin summon from Baron, yes. You can also get the Sylph summon, though it is of note that you don't use the Fryingpan of Love to do it -- the Sylphs will join you whether you have the pan or not, after the Giant of Bab-il scene. The only thing you miss is what was in the original version called the "Spoon" dagger, recieved from Yang's Wife after hitting the karateka with the pan. I don't know what it is in the newly translated version, possibly "knife," possibly spoon still. They left in the spooniness referring to Edward (I played the game for an hour or so at E3 just to find out that specific thing!), so I wouldn't be surprised if they kept the other spoon as well.

Goog thought that about FuSoYa too. I thought he looked more like the business end of a mop. Either way, he's awesome!

There's always one (with six)

1. not really a question, but... i found an mp3 of "suteki da ne" (the excellent vocal theme to FFX)! just go to and get Morpheus, the Napster-esque MP3-sharing software. search inder "suteki da ne" and you'll have it. maybe you'll even get it from me, the mecha master... ^_^

2. what is with watching anime subbed? are you people just trying to be really hardcore, or do you just loathe all american anime voice actors?

3. i'm planning on getting FFC. is it worth it if i already have the ROMs? and if so, should i be worried about the CD error and load times (are they as bad as FF6's?)

4. speaking of ROMs... according to some law that was passed in '95, you can have backup copies of things you already own, like music for example. you can't share these with other people who don't own these same things, though. i'm not sure if this extends to video games, but it could... i do know for a fact that emulators are perfectly legal in theory, but ROMs are definitely a gray area. all i know is that it's hard to get them these days. :) just my 2 cents...

5. gundam returns to toonami on monday. yes! =P

6. what was the link to your rants page again? i forgot to bookmark it, and now i can't find it!!

-bill "this is not the end" the mecha master

P.S. i'd just like to say, i always enjoy reading your column. aside from the music section, it's my favorite part of RPGamer!

1. This isn't a question! Therefore, my response shall be: Nee.
2. Without getting into the details of a huge debate, I can say this. Many, though not all, of American voice actors do in fact suck. I like Bebop's dub, El Hazard's dub is great, Trigun's isn't bad... but take, say, Utena's, or Escaflowne's. In Japan, there are two factors that make this better: first of all, voice actors are accredited more there, so people with more talent often choose to be voice actors, whereas here that only happens in a handful of cases, the rest being people who are mainly seeking a way into showbusiness but couldn't get a position as a screen actor. Secondly, annoying voices aren't as noticable when they're in a foreign language.
3. FF4's load time is practically nonexistant. CT's load time is about the same as the time it took for Earth's lava to cool into continents. On the one hand, FF4 at least is a definite improvement on the version we got for SNES, but on the other hand, you could be getting new games for your money. If you've played it already and loved it, get FFC, if you haven't played it and aren't flagrantly against old-school games, get FFC, but if you've played it and didn't really like it, you should probably get a different game.
4. Two cents isn't worth a dime these days! -- Modified Yogi Berra quote (wow, that's two this column)
5. Utena Movie is coming out on DVD this November! Woo!
6. This is not my rant page. I don't have one! It is Goog's, though. It may be down for maintenance at the time of this column's writing. And if you never tire of poorly-drawn webcomics, you can also view Ill Logic, by yours truly.

PlayStation gains level! Agility up by 1!

Just another thing to add about the whole FFC thing. FF4 and CT both work just fine on PS2. You can even use the disc speed option, to speed up load times, except on FF4 it makes the music skip around occsasionally.

That's true, now that you mention it. A PS2 will reduce CT's load time almost enough to be bearable!

Generic Title

Hey Googleslime, Are there any RPG Makers for the PC that will let you edit the menu system? I'm trying to get started on my life's quest: Recreating ff6 from Kefka's Side. I won't be satisfied until I have a perfect recreation of the whole game's world, menu systyem, and battle system; so don't expect anything to come out of me soon. In a few years, I (hopefully) will have finished...

Thanks, Chris "I wish I had a cool nickname" Bishop

P.S. Please print my email address in case anyone who reads this wants to help... <-- I know, it's stupid.

I asked around for stuff like this... people I know seem to like RPG Maker 2000, but the only URL I could find for it with my limited (hey, it's late!) effort is in german. Then there's Megazeux.. Verge.. C++, Pascal, Assembly.. hey, if you used a real programming language, you could customize your menu as much as you liked!

Yeah, that's right, it's a Soldering Iron...

Dear Googleshng,

This is regarding your answer to Jaraph's inquiry about replacing the back-up cell in NES games. It will most likely be in a battery clip or case. The wires will probably be soldered to the case, not the cell (note the correct spelling of solder. Nice try with sauter, but that just makes it look like a misspell of sauté or saunter.^_~). The cell will most likely be held just like the "CMOS battery" in a PC is. It's cheaper and easier, If your game is otherwse, it's most likely a factory mess-up, or whoever had it before hand played with its insides. Anyway, rather than bothering with replacing a cell in the game, I prefer to keep the game in a safe place and use a ROM. I used to play my old NES games (after hours of getting my NES to work). I did this until one day, while organizing my room, a mettle folding chair fell from my bed on to my only and original Final Fantasy cartridge. Needless to say I was devastated. My NES games go in safes now. Well, anyway, keep up the good work.

The Soldering Iron of Justice! ... Well, I've got nothing else to add...

Uwaooo! Mr. Thou! Mr. Thou!


I thought it might just help to add my two cents about the person who inquired about what rages Gau should have before leaving the veldt. In my experience, you only really need one rage and that's the Stray Cat. It's "Cat scratch" attack takes out over 1,000 HP, making it at that point in the game, barring someone sitting around and leveling everyone up 40 or so levels, or any near death attacks, the most powerful attack you can have.
In fact, just to challenge myself, at the battle at Narshe in the snow fields, with an OK amount of tonic and potion, I was successful in sending Gau out in a group all by his lonesome in defeating all of the soldiers and Kefka, (in 2 or 3 turns no less). Although I wouldn't really suggest doing that, because after everything is said and done, and the rest of your party members are built up, Gau becomes one of the biggest pieces of crap walking the world of balance, just above Relm, who's suckineess is unparalleled.
Anyway, just thought I might be able to help.

-"Come back Earthbound 64 !! Come back !!!!"
Andrew Kay

Gau can get a lot of cool stuff from raging, but it takes a great deal of patience. Patience I don't have! Cool observation about Cat Scratch, though. I don't really see why it's a bad idea to win the Narshe battle that way, though, just because Gau might be poorer later.


This is in response to the person who was looking for the Valkryie Profile art book: Check out, under the "Game-related books" section. They have a huge selection.
Oh, and there's a question. Is or is it not true that there will be a Lunar 3 for PS2?

Keep it cool,

No information has been released indicating that Lunar 3 will be for PS2. However, to quote one of RPGamer's news stories, "Working Designs, the company responsible for the localization of the Lunar series, has posted a mystery RPG on their new release website." This mystery RPG will be for PS2. Draw your own conclusions. :)

Mog uses inches and gallons!

Hey (monks sing) ?????? (runs of to help Sephiroth) Why is it that Google doesn't reveal the identity of the host? Does s/he not know or is keeping a secret like s/he always does? Maybe I'll taunt Google with some of my evil ideas. Also, have you ever in a game predicted what will happen next since there are many similar plot devices and cliche's? I've always been able to tell if someone's a spy or whatever since they often give lot's of foreshadowing. Also, the saying "less talkie, more cookie" was a refrence to the comic "8-bit theatre". Also, when was the 1000th Q&A? If it hasn't happened yet then it'd be very soon. It'd be neat if we see who got the most letters replied in that time. We haven't done a tally since the start of the year.
Imperial Mog

In this particular case, Goog didn't know who was going to host today.
Oh, and yes, I know it's not that meaning of imperial...

The Last Laugh:

Never get into a battle of wits with a Sicilian, when death is on the line! Ahahahahahahaha---
The last laugh, right? C'mon, I know you've seen that movie! If you haven't, go out and rent The Princess Bride immediately. If you don't, you will suffer the wrath of Homer dressed as Ganesh! Actually, you probably won't suffer any sort of wrath, from fictional or real characters, but you should still see it. And see Utena, if you like anime and don't mind weird stuff.

Addendum: Martin "Chiapet" Drury, RPGamer's main PR guy, will be hosting tomorrow's column. Please address questions to him. After that, for Monday's column, I'll be back with another crazy surprise guest-host I managed to catch a few days ago.

Chimerasame "Two late-night updates"
Hey, baby, wanna go kill all humans?

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