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  Ask Cheshire Catalyst  

   And Between the Wasteland and Sky...   
Cheshire Catalyst - December 3rd '00- 12:00 Eastern Standard Time

Another day, and I still feel like crap. Headache, fatigue, sinus pain, and lots of coughing adds up to one sick me. I have some Tylenol now. Currently I'm shaking my head as I read the warning, "If you consume 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day, ask your doctor wether you should take acetaminophen or other pain relievers/fever reducers. Acetaminophen may cause liver damage."

This is cute. If you're drinking that much(at least), then I think you've probably already forsaken your liver. Also, what kind of irrespnsible doctor is going to say, "Here you go, Jim! This pain reliever will work in excellent tandem with your substance abuse. By the way, here's some cream to take care of that chafing you were complaining about on your upper arm. Just rub a little bit on there just before you tie off with that piece of rubber tubing."

You know what song never gets old? The Thong Song. That and the "Who let the dogs out?" song. They NEVER get old. Even after my neighbors play them for the five millionth time, with the bass cranked up so high I can feel the concrete vibrate, and with Sisqo's nasal, piercing, gasping, voice that makes him sound like he's singing through an asthma attack, those songs never. get. old! I could just listen to it all day.

I believe that Purgatory is sitting in a seat and being forced to watch Total Request Live for years to atone for your sins.

We have more letters today for me to answer. Some of you beautiful people sent in fanart as well. As soon as I can, I'll go about whipping up a fanart section in which to display these pictures. Until then, be patient.

What can you possibly need now?
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Didn't I just mow the lawn?
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Do you know what I could really go for right now?

Pancakes.

Some turkey would be nice too. Maybe I'm pregnant.
I dispense advice. I should start selling, "WWCCD?" bracelets.

Heya, Cheshire Puss!

I sent this letter to Google, but that was before reading that s/he'd be gone for ten days. We all know most people's opinions about PS2, but do you think it's worth the money if someone (like me) never bothered getting a PSX or a DVD player? I know as soon as I get a PS2 I'm gonna dig into my list of PSX RPG's I've been dying to try...

Anyway, what do you think I should rent/buy first? I already have FF7 and FF8 for the PC, I borrowed FF Anthology and beat both games, and I bought Chrono Cross and FF9 and borrowed my buddy's Playstation (I'm a Square fan).

Also, in Baldur's Gate, what can I do in Prostitute Land (aka Undercellars) besides get the invitation to the party? I can't find the entrance to the Ducal Palace!

BL (May the way of the hero lead you to posting my letter) Alien

Cheshire Catalyst:
A PS2 sounds like a good investment. Like it or not, DVD's are going to phase VHS out of mainstream publishing the same way CDs have almost completly taken the place of audio cassets. And if you like RPG's, now you'll finally be able to play some of the cooler Play Station ones.

If you're a square fan then hunt around for Final Fantasy Tactics and Xenogears. I loved FFT the moment I played it. It reminded me, a little, of X-Com(the original, not the smurfy sequels). FFT's translation is now what I would call, "stellar" At times, you'll even think you've returned to the 1980's era of, "A winner is you!", "Dodongo dislikes smoke", and "Uh oh! I feel asleep!". Xenogears is fun. If you like giant robots, then Xeno's a pretty safe bet. The plotline is innovative, and the characters are all well developed and scripted. Xeno's not without it's faults though. Sometimes, like in the infamous Babel Tower, the game forgets that it's an RPG and pretends to be a platform-jumper for a while. There's a LOT of text, so I hope you like to read. And the biblical symbolism has that "Evangelion" feel to it, (Ie: "The creators picked random Judeo-Christian names and assigned them to characters.) That, and the second disk of Xenogears is depressingly non-interactive. All in all, Xeno's still a decent game, and I reccomend it if you liked Chrono Cross.

I can't remember too much about the Ducal palace. Just wander around the sewers and listen to the prostitutes say, "I'm a fine lookin' strumpet, aren't I?"

 
A story of tragedy and triumph.

'Lo Mr. Matcatz.

Anyway, I was out today, saw a movie went to the mall and all. So me and my brother are like, dude, lets get Breath of Fire 4. So we went to EB, and we asked how much it was. Well in all with tax it was $47.69. So we pulled our money out, counted it, and we had $47.30 or around there. Great luck. So we left EB cursing our "great luck." Luckily enough I remembered my friend worked at the bookstore. We walk over to the bookstore and he's not there. But then I remembered that the bookstore owns a calendar shop, so we went there, and there he was. So we asked him if he had any spare change on him, and he had like 35 some cents, thats all. Well by this time we had forgotten how much the game was and we were worried that we wouldn't have enough money. We went back to EB, and me and the guy at the counter counted it all up... and I had THREE cents left over. Thats it. Talk about a close shave. I really wanted that game....

My question? Do you like BOF? Do you have BOF IV?
Hayabusa

Cheshire Catalyst:
Movie Trailer Guy: In a mall where the iron fist of evil reigns, a young ninja is out to set things right.
Hayabusa: "I would like to purchase a video game. My brother is starving from boredom, and if I don't buy him one soon, he might do something drastic. Like, shoot up a pep rally or read a book or something..."
Clerk:(Played by the sinister Jeremy Irons) Oh, I'm sorry. You appear to be short a few cents.
Hayabusa: "But... it is urgent! Look into your heart, sales-representative! Justice must prevail!"
Movie Trailer Guy: Can young Hayabusa fight his way through GAP stores, legions of bleached teeny-boppers, and mall guards to get the change he desperatly needs from his friend?
Evil Fat Guy who runs the arcade: Nowhere to run, Hayabusa! Your $47.30 shall be mine!
Hayabusa:Who said anything about running?(splashes an Orange Julius in his face)
Arcade guy(played by the corpse of Chris Farley): Auuuugh!
Hayabusa:: "Orange you gald I didn't use a slurpee? Now you perish! HADOOOOOOOO-KEN!"
Movie Trailer Guy: If you see only one movie this entire year, then you suck. Get out more. See, "SCARE CHANGE!", in a theatre near you.

I've played the BoF games on an emulator. I always thought they were fun. :)

 
Cast Dispel. Target? Rumor.

Hello Cheshire Cat,

I have been reading this column for a while now, but never really had any need to send in questions. I just like reading all the witty comments and the such. But anyway, I finially have a reason to write. I dont remember when or where I actually read about this, but there was some sort of rumor or speculation on a sequel to Final Fantasy 6. The only practical answer I can come up with was the demo they did for Nintendo with the scene of Locke, Terra, and Shadow. Please put some truth behind this or dispel the rumor for me. Although I hope it is true, FF6 is still my favorite game and I would welcome a sequel. Thanks.

Acoustic (I dont have a quirky name to put here like all the other weird people)

Cheshire Catalyst:
Square has no plans for a FF6 sequel. Those images were just Square's way of messing around with 3D effects back when "3D" was innovative. A sequel might be interesting, but it's never as good as the original and just seems to let you down.

 
 
Quickies

The title Bubblegum Crisis, so far as I know, refers to the setting of the world being so tense and unbalanced, like a bubble blown from gum. It's the Bubblegum Crisis, like the Hedgehog's Dilemma. Nifty phrases, no? : )

-God

After all of these years, and all of the questions, the one God finally comes through with me on is, "What does 'Bubblegum Crisis' mean?"

Hey Cheshire Catholic!
Here's a riddle for you (In order to test your animé-wisdom.)! Well, here goes:

If Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop) and EVA-Unit 01 (Neon Genesis Evangelion) would have children, what would they look like?

Take your time. I'm most certain you will come up with an satisfying answer.

/Pfeizer

Easy. A jazzy Eva-Unit-04 that would go berserk whenever,
1. You served bell peppers and beef without the beef.
2. You say the name, "Viscious"
3. If it enters a fight with Cowboy Andy
4. You mention, "Julia"

At the end on the Dec 2nd 'Ask Cheshire', you commented that you were going to watch some Serial Experiments: Lain(Which rock), so why'd you name the column after an episode from Cowboy Bebop(which also rocks) and not after a layer from Lain? And have you even seen Cowboy Bebop, or was the naming a complete coincidence?

Just curious
-Henry

It's because I'm just so enigmatic. Today's title will probably serve to confuse things even more.

Where can I find The Legend of Thor Gets Some? And whatever happened to Jasc RPG!?

- Beedrill51

Check your local flea market/garage sale. "Cheshire Catalyst's Quest for Robitussin" is also one of those great cult-classics.

Everytime I look in the instructions of FF3 for the Super Nintendo, I always see "Air Anchor" under the tools list for Edgar. I have owned this game for years, I have never been able to find the Air Anchor. Is it really in the game? If so, do you know where it is?
Thanks for the help.

Kuja_FF9

If you shoot an enemy with the Air Anchor, then it will die the next time it attacks. You can find this tool in the Fanatic's Tower.Fight your way to the first treasure room and take the treasure. Then move to the right of the chest, walk up, and press A. You'll here a noise. Exit the room and walk downstairs to the new door. Enter and take the Air Anchor!

The Last Laugh:


I'll be back again tomorrow to answer more of your questions. Hopefully, soon, I'll be able to display all of the wonderful fan-art sent to me.
Now I shall play more Deus Ex. In futuristic grim-and-gritty New York, people curse their foolishness for allowing guns to be outlawed. Chareleton Heston wets his pants every night playing this game.


Chesh"The Ticket to the future is -always- open"@rpgamer.com
Sorry about the Tylenol joke. I nearly turned this page into an E/N site. O_o Much sorry.

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