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   What planet is this?  
Chris Martin - December 1st '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

I am a bitter old man. Sadly, I'm only twenty-one. By the time I'm sixty, I'll be sitting on my porch all day throwing rocks at passing cars. When the drivers slow down, I'll blame those "punk kids" down the street. I'll also say that "It's those new-fangled games these kids play." Final Fantasy L should have been released by then, I imagine.

Yes, I'm a whiny liitle turd tonight. I have a twelve page paper looming over my head -- crushing the life out of my soul. I haven't had this much paperwork to do since I quit running my own brothel out of the basement of my house; pimping out the geriatric women of my community and making some serious bing-bing, or ring-ring, or whatever the hell you kids call it.

In gaming news, I nearly beat another boss in Baldur's Gate 2 today. As much fun as the expansion is, lately I've been turning it on for fifteen minutes, and then getting promptly killed by some Illithid or a Dragon or a Demon or something. Demogorgon is a cheating bastard. There used to be a time when you could expect demons to play fair (and not continue attacking even though you cast "Time Stop"), but not anymore. Times have reall changed.

God I feel old. Let's do letters before I age all over the keyboard.

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In the PC:
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In the Dreamcast:
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Jill Valentine's attacks center around her screaming while a burning zombie attacks you.
Assorted Nonsense

The Escaflowne Movie isn't half bad.

Sóra is an interesting new character.

And her song is pretty too. What? I can't be bitter all the time.

I've got the whole world in my pants.

Hey Chesh,

How ya doin'? Anyway, I need help with finding the lyric for song at the end of Ico. Do you know where I can find the lyric? Even better, do you know the lyric? I abosulutely love that song. It sounded so sweet. All I could make out from the song sound stupid and hilarious. This is what I got:

-"The island bathe in the sun bright rays,"
-"Just until where I shrowd away." (?????)
-"The lonely breeze,"
-"Whispers in the trees,"
-"So..."
-"....."
-"From the shadow of my mind"
-"Sing nonomori,"
-"In the corridor."
-"Say nonomori,"
-"Of the ...."

So you see, I need your help! If you post this in the Q&A, than can I ask you all to help me fill out the missing words in the lyric? You can listen to the song at the link below:

http://mrclean.gethits.net/ICO.mp3

Thanks alot!!!

Cheshire Catalyst:
Can't really find any information on it. If any of our astute readers find anything out, they will email what they know. As a reward, I shall kiss them!

 
Blarg. That's it for the title. Just, "Blarg."

Greetings (clone of Chesh sings) Cheshire Catalyst

I wonder has anyone done a fanpic of you in a fuku yet. That'd be so funny you dressed as a magical girl. Also I wonder in your opinion what are the best FFT skills and explain?

Imperial Mog

Cheshire Catalyst:
Don't encourage them, Mog.
I like Monks in FFT. They punch things in the face and make said things die. I don't like Mediators very much. One of their abilities is "Solution." An ability that reduced an opponents "faith" by giving "secular solutions to life's greatest mysteries." Thanks! Just what I need to compliment my team of a Wizard, Monk, Ninja, and Summoner. A guy who stands at the back of the line and screams the theory of evolution at the enemy. Thank God we have you, Mediator.

 
Squish.

Onto issues!

GS is good... not good in the sense that there are losers who need it to beat the game but good in the sense that you can use it to unlock characters. I particularly enjoy my Vormav, Elmdor, Algus, 3rd Delita, Weigraf party in FFTactics. And the debug room for most RPGs is just cool. Love bein able to make the ultimate party in like SaGa and stuff. Anywho, I do have a question. Been playin through FFIV again and I'll be (profanity deleted) if I can't kill that stupid demon wall. It always crushes me before I can finish it. Any tips?

-Galvatron

Cheshire Catalyst:
Try casting "Berserk" on Cecil to make him move faster. Rosa should heal, Rydia should use either Leviathan or Titan, Edge should throw things (swords, shuriken, knives, chairs, small children) and Kain should jump like there's no tomorrow. Hit hard and fast.





Quickies

Hey, Chesh,

I haven't heard about the Arc the Lad Collection in a long time. At the risk of looking like a goof, is it out? Is is late? Working Designs never releases a game on time, even within the same year, so I don't think I missed it, but I would hate it if I did.

Happy trails,

Ben
Humour Editor
The Peak - SFU's Student Newspaper since 1965

Nope, not yet. WD's website slates the games release for the fourth quarter of this year. So, assuming they don't behave true to form, the game will be relased soon. The game itself will retail for about $75. Why so high? It's four games. The collector's edition (a la the Lunar series) looks like it will contain a metal Arc the Lad "compass" in addition to the usual WD omake.

Hey Chesh,

I was wondering in every RPG why do the NPCs always talk about whats happening in the game? How come they neevr talk about anything particulary intresting? Like what they had for breakfast? I mean a whole town shouldn't be teeling you about how a man in a black cape went this way? Why r'nt these people normal?!?

WHat they ate for breakfast actually doesn't seem that interesting. What's amazing to me is that these people divulge their entire life stories to whatever PC's tap them on the shoulder. If Shenmue captured one thing realistically, it's that random people on the street have absolutly no interest in talking to you -- no matter how spikey your hair is.

Cheshie ~

You're not the only one that thought Hitomi should have stayed in Gaea! Yay! So much for those stupid "mature" endings. But Dilandau made up for that! He's the best VILLAN ever! (no denying THAT!)

~ Kiri the cat boi

PS - Have you seen the Escaflowne movie yet? I haven't, but I heard it's very good.

True, Hitomi had friends at home. Still, she could have lived in Gaea and "visited" home whenever she really wanted to. Is this a spoiler? Not really. In the openings of the first eight episodes she says "Was it all just a dream? Or maybe a vision...?" This implies that she DOES eventually go home from Gaea in the very beginning, since the sentence questions all that she saw in the mysterious world over the sky.

The movie is good, but different. A lot of the characters have major aspects of their backgrounds/personalities monkeyed with. Hitomi is weaker and more passive. Naria and Eria, Folken's feline soliders, are recast as simple dancers in a bar.


The Last Laugh:

And there we go. Here's some ideal topics for tomorrow.
If you made an RPG, what setting would you give it? Classic Tolkienesque or something less standard? Fantasy? Sci-fi? Modern Day? Noir?

That'll do for tomorrow. Oh, and if you want something silly, What RPG character's "powers" would you most like to have. How would you use them? To benefit mankind, lower gas-prices, and stop evil, or for your own reasons. (Say, a personal quest to beat the tar out of the Chicago Bears offensive line because you bet forty bucks on them. Just be careful, you'd have to be something crazy to survive that fight.

chesh"is tired"@rpgamer.com
and will sleep.

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