Ask Chesh  

   I Can't Stop Loving You  

Chris Martin - July 6th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

I just found out that the final boss in Onimusha is named "Fortinbras." Great name, Capcom. Your power-mad super demon is named after the prince of Norway in Hamlet. Reaching for character names much, guys?

Recent Q&A's


The Archives
This Month
Full Archives
Have a common question?
FAQ Etc.
Draw Me!
Fan Cheshires
In the PS2:
In the PC:
Deus Ex
Assorted Nonsense
Still waiting oh so patiently for Deus Ex 2 and NOLF 2.

My nightmares are largely about me not having my work done on time. I suck.


I've been having some truly irregular dreams lately. Just the other night, I dreamt I bought a pistol (a Walther P99, for you gun freaks out there) and came home to find some moderately untrustworthy looking guy offering to pay money to cut down some poppies that were growing next to the garage of my grandmother's house. Then I was upstairs showing the pistol to an old classmate of mine, then I look out the window and the ground where the poppies had been is a spot of bare earth. I go down the stairs and see the untrustworthy guy in my grandfather's recliner watching TV with my whole family in the room. Someone says something about the cops, and suddenly the guy has a gun in his hand (some kind of revolver). I loaded my gun while sitting on the steps, and he gestures around the room with his gun, and I start shooting, only instead of blowing this punk away from the three foot distance between us, my gun instead fires little yellow pellets that kinda bounce off him without penetrating. Then one ricochets and hits me in the throat, punching through my skin at the place where your neck meets your collar bones, and I start bleeding everywhere. So I just stick my fingers in the hole to plug it and shoot the guy in his throat from point blank. Then I woke up and nearly freaked.

That's the second time I've had a dream where I got shot and felt the would 1)exist and 2)leak something. The first time I was shot in the eye by some militant with a silenced Precision rifle from Red Faction. Good game. Nice gun. Bad dream.

Is this normal? Am I going crazy? Am I all ready crazy and just starting to really freak?

And all of this is, of course, leading to something involving games. Fallout: Tactics to be precise. Have you played it? Is it good?

I wouldn't know, even though I'm staring at the box right now. You see, my computer has a problem. Not with the minimum requirements, oh no, I play the demo version just fine. But with the third CD. For some unGodly reason, my computer (a Compaq Presario 1200 notebook) simply will not accept that the third CD exists when I put it into the CD-ROM. It's not a problem with the CD, so far as I (and my local computer store) can tell, since EVERY OTHER CD-ROM IN THE FIGGIN UNIVERSE recognizes CD3 just fine. Mine simply won't ANY CD3 for Fallout: Tactics. I'm working on stealing a friend's burner to try and make a copy, but don't want to waste a CD-R on a game that's not worth owning.

I bought it used, so I didn't pay retail, and can get store credit if I bring it back, or I can buy a whole new CD-ROM for this piece of crap. What do you think I should do? I've got access to a CD burner, a Zip drive, a LAN, sixty feet of bailing twine, a gallon of diesel, two matches and one pink bunny slipper.

Help me, Obi-Wan Chernobi, you're my only hope before I get store credit and buy a game I'll really hate.

~Rufus "God DAMMIT!!" Ravencroft

Cheshire Catalyst:
Putting any sort of unprofessional analysis of your psyche aside, those dreams sound pretty kick-ass. The closest drea I ever had like either of those was the time I dreamt I was Solid Snake hiding in a dentist's office. I didn't understand that one either. Maybe you have some sort of gun fetish, or you're feeling insecure about your own ability to protect your loved ones. Maybe the people assaulting you are representations of your own innermost fears. Maybe the guns are some kind of phallic symbols and this is all some kind of repressed sexuality jive. Phew! Do you smell that? Sure gets kinda stinky when you talk out of your own ass as much as I do.
Fallout Tactics is an above average game. The control system can get kind of clunky, and it really depends on how much you like the whole Fallout series. It's a nice little TRPG, though. I really don't think it's worth that much grief, and personally, I'd use that store credit to pick up something like Morrowwind or Neverwinter Nights. Also, if you don't have it already, Deus Ex is a good game that you can pick up for a moderate amount of cash. Despite its absence on this site, Deus Ex is one of the best PC RPGs I've ever played.

This Can't Be Good (tm)

Greetings (Puchuus sing) puuu-chuu "Chesh"

I am having a good laugh right now. I got volume 1 of Excel Saga, anytime you have the main character die 10 seconds into the first episode that has to be odd. And an episode in the style of a dating sim game is just beyond words.

Imperial Mog

Cheshire Catalyst:
Exposing Mr. Mog to Excel Saga is like giving a monkey a shotgun. Whoever did it is responsible for the holes in the ceiling.


Hey Chesh,

Thanks for the helpful info about Onimusha buddy!


Cheshire Catalyst:
This is what happens when I screw around with other people's time machines. Temporal paradoxes come around to bite me in the ass.

A correct guess wins a cookie.

Hey, Chesh,

I'm probably not the only one to get this, but the quote is from the rad comic series Preacher, by the demented Garth Ennis and the depraved Steve Dillon. Can't remember the part, but I think it's his gran'ma doing the talking..? Anyway, I do actually have a question for you: now that Square has bought Quest, do you think that there might be a sequel to Final Fantasy Tactics (seeming as how a lot of the dudes behind FFT work at Quest... right?)?

Happy trails,


Cheshire Catalyst:
We already have a "sequel" of sorts for FFT. It's called Hoshigami and isn't nearly as good as FFT. For one thing, commanding a single character to perform one action requires something like seven button presses. Whatever happened to Move Here -- Stab That Guy -- and Guard? A new FFT would be nice, if by new FFT one means you use FFT's battle system and just give the game a new story.
Congraturation! That line is Granny Marie's last line before her oxygen tank explodes and she turns into the world's first bitch grandmother/comet hybrid.

The Last Laugh:

That'll do it for tonight. Be nice to Googleshng during the week, kiddos.

Chris "You the clock repairman?" Martin

I never thought I'd see an old woman get exploded out of her house and say, "Hell Yeah!"

Old Issues
  • Independance Day
  • July 5th
  • July 6th
   Google Probably Knows  
New Issues
  • July 8th
  • July 9th
  • July 10th

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy