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Chris Martin - July 5th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

I hope all of you had a positively bitchin' fourth of July yesterday. My day was spent engaging in various activities designed to maximize my American pride and basically make the British feel bad about letting us go by partying harder than anything.

8am: Arose, Showered, (Apparently a uniquely American activity if you've ever been to Europe) and had a patriotic breakfast of coffee (One part coffee, ten parts cream and sugar) eggs, bacon, and fruity pebbles.
9am: Returned to my dorm and prepared to go to my government-selected occupation where I would work for the benefit of the collective society. Ha Ha! Just kidding! That's what I'd be doing if I lived in an evil communist country. Not here in America! I returned upstairs and screamed the lyrics to Tiny Toon Adventures out my window because, as an American, I have the right to do that.
9:05am: My roommate arises from his bed, screams something about how I shouldn't be waking him up on his day off, and punches me in the mouth so hard(Which is his right, as an American) that I now have to use a hand-mirror and a generous dollop of Vaseline just to brush my teeth.
9:30am: I read "Preacher: Gone to Texas." I'm starting to feel really American now. Jesse Custer has been such a personal inspiration, I've started to talk in red text when I get pissed.
10am: I go into town and buy several packs of cherry, wintermint, and blueberry gum. (Gum I bought using CAPITALISM I might add. USA! USA!) I unwrapped the gum and swallowed it all whole. That way, in case anyone ever accused me of not being patriotic, my feces would tell a different story.
11am-3pm: Celebrated my country's independance by playing such kick-ass American RPGs as Anachronox, Deus Ex, Baldur's Gate II, Planescape: Torment, and Icewind Dale.
4pm: I play some Onimusha too. Yes, it's Japanese, but it involves the unique American institution of killing the undead. (Something we do pretty damn well. That's why Dracula lives in Europe, you see.)
5pm: Dinner! I eat a cheeseburger and drink a coca-cola. The waiter asks if I would be interested in one of their garden burgers. Uh oh! Looks like the ass-brush club just got another member!
6pm: I read "100 Bullets: First Shot, Last Call." This reminds me to perform my daily ritual. I fall on my knees and bow in the direction of Brian Azzarello's house.
7:30pm: Frankly, I get a little bored. I do some pushups in case the president needs rescued or a pickle-jar opened. Be prepared. That was my motto until those punk-ass Boy Scouts stole it. My new motto is "If Fred Durst can do it, I sure as hell can. And if he can't, it's really not that surprising." When President Bush gets kidnapped by ninjas, they're gonna need some inordinantly bad dudes, and I have to be ready. I'll probably team up with Bruce Willis, Carmen Electra, and Wierd Al Yankovic. (Double duty: Bad Dude and Comic Relief)
9pm: My president-rescuing fantasies are interrupted by the alarm on my watch. It's time for the fireworks! The fireworks were both flashy and noisy. (Two positives in my book.)

The rest of the evening's activities are classified because I think I might have enjoyed a little too much freedom. The fifth amendment is also very American. Let's answer your questions!

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That fella's got a face like an arse!

Uematsu's "Welcome to Our Town" Techno Jungle Remix.

Recently, a question while Googleshng was hosting the Q&A column asked what some song from FFIX was. This reminded me of a question I've had bouncing around...on the FFIX VCD ( a japanese only 2 disk package. One disk has a soundtrack, the other contains all the FMVs.) there is a vocal track called "Sora no Galway" or "Skies of Galway". This song was nowhere in the game. I have no freakin' idea what this song is. However, it is rather nice, and my curiousity is very piqued. PLEEEASE! If you know why this song is there, tell me! *cries* (Or I'll send my army after you!)


Cheshire Catalyst:
In the planning stages of an RPG, the music composer is given a list of stuff he needs to compose for the game: various town themes, a couple battle themes, multiple dungeon themes, and some dramatic stuff. But as the game is planned, written, and programmed, stuff gets cut out of the final project. Entire songs composed for the original concept are left out of the final project. Another example of this phenomena in practice is the pair of "unreleased" songs on the Chrono Trigger OST that didn't appear in the game. "Battle 2" and "Singing Mountain"

This time, the characters are even angrier!

I am a huge fan of Front Mission 3, and I was wondering if there is any talk of whether or not a Front Mission 4 game is in developement.


Cheshire Catalyst:
Sadly, no sign of anything of the sort in development. I weep with you, Love Hockey. A TRPG with giant robots is somehow, in some unexplainable fashion, cooler than a magical jaunt through Disneyworld with Mickey's sidekicks.

It wouldn't be a column without the multiparter!

Hi chesh,

I have a couple questions.

1) Do you think that romance in general will become more integrated into the storyline of RPGs of the future more then the past?

2) How advanced will the graphics and sound be for games 5 years from now? (I know you can't see into the future, or maybe you can, but if you can't just guess)

3) With .hack coming out do you think if it is successful in the US as it is in Japan, would this spur more companies to base games on Anime movies or series?

Also I'm tabulating all the favorite games from the bios in the RPGamer staff. Results will be sent to someone on the Q&A, maybe they would want to post it for some useless reason.

Thanks, stay cool (literally),

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. Some kind of romantic story is the norm in many RPGs. Cecil and Rosa, Tidus and Yuna, Squall and Rinoa, Fei and Elly, Cristof and Anezka, Crono and Marle, Celes and Locke, Cloud and Aeris, Alex and Luna, Hiro and Lucia... the list goes on and on. Some RPGs focus entirely on Romance and Dating. These games are much more popular in Japan than in America and the who genre has, with the exception of Thousand Arms, stayed on their side of the pacific.
2. Graphics will continue to improve. Take a look at Doom III for a glimpse at how things just keep getting better.
3. Thing is, a lot of spin-off merchandise does get made, it just doesn't come over here very often. Most of these games, like a lot of games based off of lisenced products, kinda suck. That doesn't stop companies like Tomy and Banpresto from pumping them out like there's no tomorrow. The sheer number of Sailor Moon games is staggering.

It's been hot here, and I have no air-conditioning. Today was nice though.

Random Spam!

Fat Bald Ugly Insecure Broke?
Did you know you can learn to hypnotize women into bed?

Come on, dude - you can't tell me you don't need a little extra edge when it comes to scoring. It's FUN, and it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Cheshire Catalyst:
I get a lot of Spam. I found this particular piece too good to immediatly throw away. This program can awaken my latent psychic powers to commit date rape? Damn! I even fall into four of those five criteria! Who knew magic hypnosis was so useful? It's a good thing that Seigfried and Roy are both gay, or no woman would be safe.

The Last Laugh:

Bad News! That's it! Good News! That's all that was in my inbox. I'll forgive you this time. I'll just assume that you were celebrating America's independance too hard. And if you live in another country, then you were probably celebrating anyway because it's a half-decent reason to get plastered.

Chris "You found me beautiful once..." Martin

Lady... You got reeeeeeal ugly.

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