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Chris Martin - May 7th '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

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Magic Stones

I thought it would be refreshing for you to have another question about video games. In Chrono Trigger, where is the item that ulockes the tripple technique for Magus, Lucca, and Marle?

It also occurs to me that although one of the founding intentions on the Q&A was to answer questiona about video games, why ask the current sage when I could just look it up in the thousands of FAQ's locaded elsewhere at RPGamer, which would be especialy numerous as the game was made by Square. So now I am forced to ask a new question that is about video games, but has little to do with the actual game. Hmmmm.... I bet Lucca looks pretty cute without that helmet, what do you think?

Magna Maduin

Nor shall we forget the general coolness of Magus!

Cheshire Catalyst:
To answer your first question, open the magic books in the city of Kajar in this order: Water, Wind, Fire. A secret door will much open and you, if choose enter, will get big happy time secret "Black Rock" Learn super tech and be much happy!

A while back, I took a career placement test: to find out what job I'd be happiest doing. The #1 answer was "Librarian". I laughed for a minute, until I realized that this is what I do. People ask questions, and I look up the answers while trying to remain humorous. Ok, I'm a screwed up clown/librarian hybrid.

Yeah, she's pretty cute without that helmet. She's gets even cuter as she takes off more clothing. (Oww. Oww! Sorry.)

H pee?


Alright, I've got a point to make, and I think that it's a point that is relatively common, but never addressed. You all know what I'm referring to... or those of you that don't, I'd like to create a scenario.

You're in the final hour of an RPG that you've been working on for about 50+ hours. You start to have to go to the bathroom, but you don't want to ruin the mood by getting up and taking the minute or so it would take to relieve yourself. So, you hold it. The urge goes away through the final dungeon, and your adrenaline starts pumping. The music is kicking strong, and there's the final boss. The scumsucker you've been chasing around for countless hours. It's time for a little payback.

Then, nature calls, in a big way. But it's too late for that now. You're fighting that child-slaughtering, town-levelling, maniacal boss, and you're creaming him. You're on the home stretch, but you really have to go to the bathroom.

This, my friends, is what we call the 'Victory Pee'.

This is when you are put to the test. Sacrifice the mood by pausing and relieving yourself, or proving your validity as an RPG addict, and stomping some Head Honcho with your boot before-hand. This decision is one of the harder moments of being a gamer, and many go to the darkside, and pause their games just for that brief five second period of pleasure.

Those in the gmaing elite will agree... it is better to have your bladder suffer for those extra fifteen to twenty minutes. It adds to the mood of desperation that usually follows theose end battles. And then, the credits start rolling, and you forget all about your worries. You sit through that instrumental score, and by god, it's beautiful. Then, as 'The End' scrolls onto the screen, you dart from your couch, chair, or beanbag, and you stand (or sit) in that bathroom, and you are a champion. You have been victorious, and now, this is the long-awaited victory pee. Stand (or sit) tall, my fellow elite. You are now one of us.

- Ben "Sadres" Boswell

Cheshire Catalyst:
I question the ability to truly enjoy the final battle/ending with a bladder full of urine. Other than that, a damn fine editorial.

Be sure to call her "Washu-chan or Lil' Washu"

Hello Mr. Catalyst,

Questions have I
1. Which is better, Front Mission 3 or Vanguard Bandits?
2. Why can't I find a copy of Valkyrie Profile anywhere?
3. What means this "bishounen"?
4. Washu Rules!

~ Johrdan, Norse God of Pastyness

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. Front Mission 3 is longer and has loads more customization. Vanguard Bandits is shorter, and the battle system isn't as cool, but it's a Working Designs game, for crying out loud. Tough call, but despite all of WD's translation goodness, FM3 is still a slightly better game.
2. That's odd. I usually see some used copies in the local Electronics Boutique. I dunno. Check eBay or an online distributor.
3. Literally, "Beautiful Boy". Like a male anime character who's pretty: (Ex: all of the Gundam W pilots, Dilandau's henchmen)
4. That, she does.

Mr. Thou revisited

Hey Chesh, couple questions.

1. What are the worst RPG's you've played?

2. In FF6, is Gau a good character to build up? What weapons can he equip?

3. Is GameArts producing for the GameCube?

4. Ever played Snatcher? Great game.

5. Right now I have a game going in FF6. I just recieved Gau. Should I continue on this game alone or also have a file in another game? I have some games I've never beaten: FF9, Resident Evil, Beyond the Beyond, Thousand Arms, BOF 3 and FF5.

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. Robotrek, I guess. It wasn't that bad though.
2. Gau gets no weapons. Gau gains new attacks by wandering around the veldt and learning new "Rages" from different monsters. He's somewhat useful, but his somewhat chaotic nature means you'll soon find yourself using a more stable character. (Edgar, Sabin, Terra)
3. They might. Wait and see.
4. *Snicker* I'm having enough fun with the name. The game must rule ;)
5. I...know not what you say. You mean make another saved game? Backups are nice, if you can spare the room.


WildARMS:Twilight Venom ran 22 eps. in Japan and has been licenced by ADV Films for release in the States. Nothing is known about a second season so far.

And one question: I have a Dreamcast & a PC. I'm finshing up Shenmue and BG2. What RPG should I buy next? I have BG1, pre-orded TOB, Skies and PSO. And no net connection in my room (THAT was why I offered to pay part of the cable bill, my dear,dear parents!).

Shenmue is much fun happy good time. Torment and Icewind Dale are also sweet D&D RPGs for the PC. (Too many acronyms... I feel like I work for NASA)

Hey chesh,

I forgot to mention one thing about fullsail yesterday, FullSail is a 24hr school, meaning that you can get stuck with classes at very ungodly hours. I got stuck in school once for 3 days straight, only went home twice to take a shower and change. K, hope this helps anyone!

~Roscael "But in the end, my dark soul shall always prevail!" Nadaron

Scary story. Though, for me, having a class at 2 am would be more convenient than having one at 10 am.

Why is the rain so wet, so wet?

~Raistlin X just is.

Which do you prefer?


uhh. yeah. As many of you know, whenever teenagers fight crime and or evil, they usually have to shout some embarrasing nonsense like what you see above, to change into their monster killin' gear. Those shows never made any sense to me. For one thing, what kind of irresponsible parent allows their fourteen year old kid to battle nuclear monsters? Another thing, why teenagers? One would think that when assembling a group of unstoppable crime-fighters, you'd want a group of people without a curfew or a propensity to rebel against you and act all crabby. Finally, why all the magic samurai ranger BS? I can't think of a single villain killed by a bird-shaped dart or a magic tiara who wouldn't be wasted by an M-16 three times as fast. Geez.

Ok, to answer your question, it's "d". It's what Spike says in Cowboy Bebop. "Magical Cowboy! Saddle up!"

Well, that's what he WOULD say, if I wrote it. Another good reason I should be kept away from creative outlets.

The Last Laugh:

Goodbye! I won't be here for TWO whole weeks. We've got some sweet guest hosts (some familair faces, maybe. Do I smell nostalgia?) lined up for next week. The following week, E3 will take over this column for all the latest sweet-arse developments as they're reported.

So, be nice to the people while I'm gone. I'll be enjoying my vacation by sending in bizarre letters to whoever's running the show at the time. It's fun, in a perverse way.

chesh "See ya in a fortknight."
-the secret word is "Bacon"-

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