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Chris Martin - May 4th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

It re-donkey-ulously late here in Chicago. Maybe if I didn't feel compelled to do fifty things at once, and only for about 10 minutes each.. (that, and a friend who's playing FFX just arrived in Zanarkand, and I had to see that part again.)

But no more procrastinating! Column time for all now!

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Lulu has a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

I don't FEEL like an old woman...

Dear Chesh,

Lately Capcom has been rereleasing/remaking old games. This makes it even more true that they're selling me the same game twice than when they just make sequels. I know the reason I can't resist buyng them over and over again is that Capcom made a deal with the devil, but how can I break free of this financially draining curse?

- Cashless in Connecticut

(Admit it, you've always wanted to see letters signed like that)

Cheshire Catalyst:
Oh boy! I feel like the Ann Landers of the video game question and answer columns. Maybe I can refrain from giving advice on relationships for long enough (which you don't want from me. really.) to answer your question.
Though Satan's power is strong, you can be stronger! Hold your Bible open to the book of Numbers and recall the fact that not much changes from Megaman game to Megaman game. Generally, the boss robot names just get dumber.

What your box needs to play.


I have a problem, with TES3:Morrow Wind (sp?) coming out soon, I'm very tempted to grab the cash to snag a copy when it comes out. The problem is, isn't working in my browser and I can't find anywhere on the web where MW's min reqs are. Do you know what they are/ can you find them? *has a feeling his poor voodoo3 won't be able to handle it*

-SDHawk "Oh my god, I had an actual question! and an RPG one to!"

Cheshire Catalyst:
Morrowind's specifications are as follows:

Windows ME/98 128 MB RAM; Windows XP/2000 256 MB RAM; 500 MHz Intel Pentium III, Celeron, or AMD Athlon processor; 8x CD/DVD-ROM Drive; 1 GB free hard disk space; Windows swapfile; DirectX 8.1 (included); 32MB Direct3D Compatible video card and DirectX 8.1 compatible driver; DirectX 8.1 compatible sound card; Keyboard; Mouse

800 MHz or faster Intel Pentium III or AMD Athlon processor; 256 MB RAM; NVIDIA GeForce2 GTS, or ATI Radeon 7500 or faster video card.

NVIDIA GeForce4; NVIDIA GeForce3; NVIDIA GeForce2; NVIDIA GeForce 256; NVIDIA TNT2; ATI Radeon 8500; ATI Radeon 7500; ATI Radeon 7200; ATI Radeon; ATI Rage 128; Matrox G550; Matrox G450; Matrox G400

*please note that the lack of 3DFX support is simply because there aren't DX8.1-compatible drivers for those cards

Pump your characacters up!

Hey Chesh. I've got a comment and a question.


To answer Linnie's question about Lunar yesterday: WAY TOO LOW OF A LEVEL!!!! I'm sorry, but did you happen to read the back of the manual? It's a mini strategy guide up through the first boss. It says, "You should be around level 13 or the boss will beat you like a redheaded stepchild". With all due respect, that boss came for you about 2-3 hours ago. If you want to get though to Nanza, you should be at least at level 20. Or, at least I was...The one mistake anyone can do in that game that will COMPLETELY SCREW THEM over later on is avoiding as many battles as possible. If you fight each seperate group of enemies just once, you should be strong enough to advance. I know it's annoying at times, but stick with it. It helps out in the end.


Have you played Arc the Lad (Collection) yet? I got though the first game in a whopping 13 hours. I was suprised at the severe lack of dificulty in that game up until the final battle, which I had to try three times. Was it just me, or was it really that easy?

Master Margie
"This is the way!" -Bart, Xenogears & Almost Every Character that Completed a Job, Final Fantasy Tactics

Cheshire Catalyst:
While a lot of us don't like Leveling-Up (to which I credit FFX for making that traditionally dull part of the game enjoyable), it's a nescessary part of playing the games.
I haven't played any of Arc the Lad, yet. Maybe I'll pick it up in a few months. Reports from those on staff who HAVE played the game state that the first game is pretty easy, so it's not just you.

Pip-Boys! People Like Us, The Brotherhood Loves Us!

Hi Chesh,

Two things.

First, Sam Raimi is directing Spider-Man. And by all reports, it is worthy of the name. Now if only I had friends I could go see it with...

Two, have you heard ANYTHING about a Fallout 3? I know Interplay's gone to hell in a handbasket, but Fallout 1 & 2 kicked ass. Now mix a bit of GTA3 with the traditional post-apocalyptic Fallout formula (keep the turn-based tactical combat) and WHAM! instant PC RPG goodness.

I'd appreciate an answer since Shane from GameSpot couldn't be bothered with it.


Cheshire Catalyst:
Shane was probably too busy having sex with all of the free prostitutes that the Gamespot people have. Mikel doesn't hook me up with diddley-poop. The closest thing he ever sent me was an inebriated Lord Brian in a cocktail dress and covered in copier toner.

To quote David Ray (who worked on Icewind Dale), "The only thing I can tell you about Fallout 3 is that it is not currently in development. That does not mean it will never be in development, but at the moment it is not." Here's a link to a page full of speculation about the entire Fallout 3 topic courtesy of "No Mutants Allowed"


Spiderman WAS NOT and IS NOT directed by Cameron. Sam Raimi directed it... I've seen it... it's pretty damn good. Go see it... you'll like it.


There's yesterday's errata. Got about twenty of these, too.
Oh, and I trust that I will (trip delayed 'till Today)

The quote is by Lionel Trilling, from The Liberal Imagination.

- Bob Miller


Bob Miller wins a tilde bigger than Omaha. (Actually, a bunch of people got this one. I'll trust you people didn't cheat, like a dirty cheating... cheater.)

Hi,This is a new website
I hope you would enjoy it.


No link was submitted with this quickie, but it's easily the best advertisement for a website ever made. It's got that who Engrish feel to it.

Hello Chesh person-dude-thingy,

Question, would you be able to tell me where to find some good Legend of Mana music? Seems like all I can find is the Theme of Mana song. I'm looking for some of the boss themes.

Oh, and about Jackie Chan fighting Jet Li... My brother says that Jackie would win. Jackie would kick the nearest object at Jet, and Jet wouldn't be able to react. He'd be dumbfounded for a second, then *bam*.

Personally, I think they'd be an equal match.

- Kaiser

You can get some of that stuff from (You need to download and install their downloading agent. Painless procedure, though.)
And I got several letters defending Jackie Chan who, I will admit when reconsidering his age, I pretty damn cool. (Not as if I said that he wasn't cool before, just...nevermind)
Strangely, fans of "Youth of a Nation" remained silent.

The Last Laugh:

Good night and Good Morrowind to everyone out there in internet land. Thanks for reading, and now back to your regularly scheduled porn viewing.

Chris "Girls who can't become princesses have no choice but to become witches..." Martin

I thin witches are sex-ay.

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