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Chris Martin - April 29 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Sonic the Hedgehog is a damn fun game. Race you to my heart, you amazing, blue hedgehog, you! I don't know what the deal with "Tails" is though. I imagine it's what happened after Sonic Team got ahold of some issues of "Batman." They probably assumed that for a superhero to sell in America, he needed to have an underaged male lover. They're way too chummy. Hell, he avoids the sexy Amy like the damn plague. That's gotta be it!

Despite the disturbing overtones, Sonic Adventure is pretty fun. Granted, the camera is hellbent on making sure that I can never see where Sonic is going, but you've gotta make some sacrifices.

Just a quick reminder - the Draw Chris contest is still in full swing. Download a copy of the picture on the right. You win? You guest host. Your name in RPGamer history forever. Yeah!

Go Column Super X!

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First, some wierdness regarding my pseudonym

'Sup Chesh,

I have been reading the column for some time now, and every time you host, I swear I have heard your name before. After looking through the net today I have found out where I have seen your name before. There is a hacker with the EXACT same handle as you (if it isn't you). For proof check out this article I have found from Here is the article as it appears:
The Old Timer Panel
Saturday, 10 am
Main Stage

Hard as it may be to believe, there are hackers who have been active for twice as long as many of the H2K attendees have been alive! Quite a bit has changed since the old days - the technology, the laws, the amount of interest (just look around you!) and there are some things that haven't changed at all. Hear some incredible stories from the past and learn a bit about the origins of the hacker culture.

Hosted by Cheshire Catalyst, Captain Crunch, and Bootleg.

This mysterious CC also hosted other events at H2K. Well, I am done rambling now. I just thought you might be interested in other people "stealing" your name. Lataz.

Shortt "That was just a tension breaker. It needed to be done!" Sirket

Cheshire Catalyst:
Here's the short and funky story. I was thinking about Alice in Wonderland in Chemistry class. I put two and two together and thought up a semi-cute nickname to use in Unreal Tournament, writing letters, and the like. I used it for quite a while...

Then, I went downtown to take part in one of my favorite hobbies. (Sitting and Reading stuff in Barnes & Noble but not buying anything) For amusement, I picked up a somewhat dated book called "Hacker Secrets!" or something. (It should be noted that the same book publisher also publishes books about hiding from the government and all sorts of semi-illegal stuff.) Inside, the author mentioned a hacker friend named "Cheshire Catalyst". I was amused, if not downtrodden that I was not as clever as I thought I was.

Are they the same person? If I was Batman, I'd find out and then throw a batarang at the guy's head. Not for something as petty as sharing my name - heavens no. He's probably an evil-doer or something.

Skills I've learned at this job: "Customer Service", "Personnel Relations", "Ruining People's Repuations"

Whoaaa there Chesh. Man, you really plowed into me regarding my posting! I just wanted to clarify a few things. First off, I was only half-serious when I wrote that; as in, I'd rather get a chuckle or a grin then get a rise out of people. Apparently that failed.

Secondly, regarding my shallowness, I would prefer not to think of myself as that, but I suppose I am in some regards. It's just I've met girls that when I looked at them, my retinas were burned (and not in a good way). I still tried though, and they also had the WORST personalities. Coincidentally, they were the only girls I met who liked games. I *know* I'm no "Bishounen Billy", but I do have my standards.

Lastly, I honestly don't expect any kind of game to be a substitute for a social life. However, unlike what you said about humans being social animals, some people really aren't - like me for example. I find most people neither interesting nor fun to be around, and so I like being alone. I guess that's not for everyone, though.

Now I realize this isn't editorials, and I'll discontinue after this, but I don't want the populace at large thinking I'm some kind of nazi superman or something with how that last post went.

-Squall the Surly SeeD

Cheshire Catalyst:
Yer just lucky I was the one guest hosting. Mister. Mistress Nightshadow was none too pleased. It's all cool, though. Sometimes we say things we don't mean. I hate you Uncle Bob. See! I just did it...

One complaint is that your comment about a "Nazi Superman" has the entire lobe of my brain that I've devoted to comic/manga/anime trivia wondering if there was ever a story about a Nazi superman. If not, I'm amazed. DC Comics loves to do crap like that.

But yeah, the council of grrls & wymyn (or however trhe hell they're spelled this week) forgives you. But they say you have to watch 5 hours of Oprah, 3 hours of Rosie, and buy Jewel's latest book of poems as penance. Tough break, man.

Ok ok, sorry. Gaming letters commence now.

Chrono Cross spoilers present.

Heeeeyyyyy DDuuuuuddeee(er, Chesh),

First, a little more explanation about Chrono Cross. Serge was born 17 years ago, but was wounded by the panther when he was 3 years old, and that's when he went to Chronopolis. The frozen flame isn't a means of accessing the dragon gods or Lavos, it is power itself, and like Chesh said, it was part of Lavos. When the storm occurred, Fate shut down, and allowed Serge to become the arbiter and also allowed the Dragon Gods a chance to create the seventh dragon, Harle, and be free from FATE's control. Lynx getting a hold of Serge's DNA allowed him(Lynx is controlled by FATE) to get bakc control of the Flame. Like Chesh said, there was A flame under sky dragon isle, oor actually inside it, but there was also a frosen flame in Chronopolis, that's the one Serge locked onto. I'm not quite sure why there are two, but if you really want to know more about the plot, go to and check out the Plot FAQ for Chrono Cross.

Now for my question.
I thought that either the second ending in FFIX was a rumour, or at least it was hardly different. Just what changes if you get the Magic hammer, and how do I get it?

Cheshire Catalyst:
That's a lot of handy Chrono Cross info.

To get the magic hammer needed to have the second ending, you have to finish the Stelazzio quest. Find all 13 coins. She'll give you the hammer in return. Keep it until the end of the game.

I'm not sure exactly how the endings are different, but it's to my understanding that they're not THAT different. Just one more small scene or something.

Funny "Ha-ha" or funny "strange"?

Googleshng was wrong on Friday, dangit! The absolute funniest game ever was Discworld, though only if you count item-collection puzzle games as real games. Following behind it is probably Lunar. Let the truth be known!

-Chimera Man Nate

Cheshire Catalyst:
Working Designs puts some real funny into their games. "The Longest Journey" had some really funny scenes. (Like when the reporter reports on the "tragic" hovercraft crash and then goes into her tirade. "How were our ratings? 6 MILLION! What the ****! What the hell kind of piece of **** ratings are those?! We lost out to reruns of Gilligan's ****ing Island again! Jesus!"


Hi chesh , where did you find those anime selector pages were they tell you which character you relate to ? There's a pull down menu near the top. Click on "anime character selectors". It's at the top of the list.

Hey chesh

What's with the Final Fantasy seal of approval thingy? It's... always boggled me why you have that on this site.

Xenochick,-the Xenogears Goddess-
PS: I got Krelian as my #1 on Crusader's test! YAY!

Has sold out? :O

Don't I wish. I might actually make some real money. Nope, that's just an ad. Sometimes ad's make wild claims. Some people take these claims too seriously. Like when my mom started screaming. "Christopher! Oh my God! The TV just told me that once you eat on Ruffles potato chip, you CAN'T STOP! My God in heaven, they're marketing crack to children! We have to warn the public! (Hops in her car, drives away).


Look at the new June 2001 Electronic Gaming Monthly. The graphics in Tony Hawk 3 look !@#$%^ AWESOME! I am salivating uncontrolably..... =P`````````````


Don't drool on my column. Pretty graphics are nice.

I got Hamar in the Xenogears Character Selecter! YYYEAAAAAAHHHH! Did you just see my MAD SKILLZ!?! I just might be a GENIUS!

For some reason, I always thought Hammer was a camel. He looked like a camel. But, turns out he's a rat-thing.

Are Dragon Warrior Vim's graphics as terrible as they appear to be in the screenshots? The polygons look jagged and grainy and the sprites look simple and silly.

The screenshots may be a little distorted, but I think you're right. Those menus look like SNES Breath of Fire menus. Ech. It might be ok, though.

The Last Laugh:

Gah! Curse this machine. The column was gonna be longer, but my computer decided to crash before I saved. I lost only a little work, but still. :P It means less information for you, and I weep. Weep weep weep. Some of your letters were lost. If you want to resend your letter for tomorrow's column, go for it.

Tune in tomorrow. I'll pass out or something...

chesh "2 Batman references and a Superman reference. All in a day's work."
Zooom! Sonic is the FASTEST!

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