Ask Cheshire Catalyst  

   Murder Machine  
Chris Martin - April 23 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

I don't know what special education class our server pulled its "Special Deputy in charge of not breaking anything" from, but I do know that RPGamer was down again for a while today because of a broken switch or something. Sad sad sad. I cry myself to sleep thinking of people who needed information about RPGs and didn't have anyone to tell them diddley-poop. They had to bathe in their own ignorance for about four hours. Unacceptable. Asses WILL be kicked.

In the meantime, check the sidebar for our friendly reminder for the day regarding the "Draw Thor Brad Chris" contest. All ya'll artistic types out there get sketchin'. +10 points if you make me look "cool" -1,000 points if I'm in a compromising situation with Dilandau.

The time for self-promotion is OVER! Column!

Recent Q&A's


Flying Avian Quayles
The Old stuff
The Archives
Draw Chris!
Blarg! A creature!
How do you pronounce...?

First, Mr. Silly

Hey (monks sing) CHRIS MAR-TIN
I also fear the lawyers. But you could say it was parody and try to evoid the lawsuits. Python and the Holy Grail overquoted. Bah, I'll send my bridgekeeper rabbit who says "ni" from a narco-syndiclyst commune who speaks French. And I got no extra food, these 12 large tacos are my lunch and I can eat them in 20 minutes. What's scary is my appetite and I'm not a real large person. If you take my food feel my short temper and hatred for stupid people. You Q&A people have ignored me, everyone will think something bad happened to me and if you don't post, I'll use the lawyer summon and Tort your behind. Also, Kuja's a nancy boy. Oh you accidently linked to Googleshng.
Imperial Mog

Cheshire Catalyst:
I don't need food anymore, thanks. A backrub would be nice.

Someone has issues.

Grandia Dos Spoilers
Hey Chesh,

I'm having a problem. Ryudo from Grandia II asked me to move to Garlan with him.... I can help him rebuild and he can continue his work as a geohound. He also says there's so much to do there and we can explore so much, which is one of the things I love doing most. But it will be a major change in my life- I'll even have to cross the Grana Cliffs. They're not as much of a hassle to cross anymore, not like they were a year ago, but still.... it's definately something to consider, but I love Ryudo so much! Is the sacrifice worth it? I would almost never get to see my friends and family again, but I'd be with Ryudo the whole time.

Aye! This is what happens to your mind whne you play Grandia II straight from 8:00 p.m. to 2:35 a.m. But.... ::cheers::... I finally finished it!

Also, from yesterday, I mentioned that Grandia II complied with the Law of Conservation of Matter. A good example are the Horns of Valmar. They only moved from one victem to another, from Melfice to Ryudo, where they were supposed to be given to Valmer. They were potential energy before they entered Melfice, and upon that night hwere he slaughtered Reena they were kinetic energy that exploded into a massacre. After that, they returned to potential energy inside Melfice, forming into kinetic at that battle with Ryudo and the party against Melfice and went into Ryudo, where they turned into potential while waiting to become a part of Valmar, where they would become kinetic and used to destroy the world. See? I didn't get my A in chemistry for nothing ^_^

Xenochick, -the Xenogears Goddess-

Cheshire Catalyst:
Sounds less like scientific law and more like "old plot device." Still though, your anecdote reminds me of the time I tried to get Minsc and Jahiera from BG to help me out with saving the world in the FFVIII world because, let's face it, I was getting tired of pretty-boy Squall and his 90210 cronies. Didn't work though.

FFX: Starring Keanu Reeves.

Hey Chesh,
RPGamer Email wasn't working, eh? YEAH LIKE WE BUY THAT. I know what you and Google were doing. That poor man...

However, your secret's safe with me if you just answer a few simple questions...

1. Any word on the PS2 FF remakes? I'm wanting to replay all the final fantasies I can get my hands on, so I wonder if i should get the PSOne versions or just wait a few more months and buy the remakes?

2. What is anti-aliasing?

3. There seems to be a lot of confliciting information about FFX and FFXI. Is FFXI coming out around the same time as FFX? Is FFX online capable or not?

4. I think Tidus is what Squall would have looked like if he listened to less Depeche Mode. Don't you think Tidus and Yuna look just a smidge like Squall and Rinoa?

5. I hope Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance is good. I'm rather looking forward to Devil May Cry...what do you think about the shortage of good PS2 software? Right now it mainly plays movies and my old PSOne games.

6. Do you consider Metal Gear Solid an RPG?

7. Are you going to have a life after Neverwinter Nights comes out? I'm probably not. My girlfriend is already practicing her "you're a videogame addict and i'm leaving you" speech.

8. Why is it so darn hard to find Final Fantasy Tactics and Xenogears?

This is all just in case, maybe you don't get so many letters, you don't feel lonely. Seven letters in one! Egads!!

Gastrobot "Flesh Eating Robots Want to Eat Your Flesh!" Jones

Cheshire Catalyst:

1. They're on the way. Keep thine eyes on the main page for the most recent info.
2. Ok, in short, it's a method of making graphics look better by getting around the graphic limitations of a monitor. If you have a black figure on a white desktop, you "gray" the areas where they meet to soften the image to make it more pleasing to the eye.
Here's a nice, whole page about it.


There IS a hidden character in Tales of Destiny- some of the FAQ's on this site even cover how to get her (Stahn's sister), although she's not part of the plot and is almost pretty much a game bug. Since that's the case, it's much easier to just use a gameshark to replace one of your party members with her. I've never really used her yet, so I don't know what moves she has, but if I ever go through that game again (the third time), she'll be in my party. I once used a gameshark to get her, and she came out as level 1 with no techniques. She's sort of super-secret-for-cheaters-only character. I love it when companies do that (see Celebi in Pokemon).

Cheshire Catalyst:
Sadly even I, your RPG Prophet, make mistakes. My vast resources of information failed me. Looks like it's time to kill an underling.

This is wierd...

I thought the RPG community might want to hear this. Squaresoft sent an email to a randomly selected fan cross-section (that's what they said, anyway) giving access to a survey which strongly hinted at collaboration between Square and Disney on an RPG. What do you think?


Cheshire Catalyst:
At first, I sorta dismissed this as a joke. I got a copy of the survey, and it does link back to which does equal SquareSoft. We'll keep an eye out for this kind of thing.


Cool! You have the same printer as me!

- Lord Sephiroth

I see.

ok Chris...that's REALLY bizzare...I mean..yeesh, omg...

we have the exact same kind of printer

Hey, the HP Deskjet 882C is amighty fine machine.

Hey Chesh it's been awhile since I've sent anything in, so please post this. Did you know that in the Lunar games for the Sega CD Ghaleon loved to listen to the music group ABBA?


Creepy, huh?

I found out something quite interesting at the Art Museum the other day. Turns out, The Rood Inverse from Vagrant Story very strongly resembles a monogramic symbol used to represent Jesus long ago. That's right, kiddies, the Blood-sin is really Christ's monogram. Matsuno is SO going to Hell.

Socrates himself was perpetually pissed, y'know.

~TH Cole - It puts the lotion back on the skin.

A Squaresoft PSX RPG with Judeo-Christian imagry? Now THAT'S just crazy-talk. You're crazy!

I like how people write in to ask you guys your opinions like you're a bunch of gods and not regular people.

And lo it came to pass that Cheshire Catalyst, God of the Status screen said unto Googleshng, Diety of the Battle Transition , "Seeith thou how they doubt our divinity! Blasphemy haunts the hearts of men..."

And then, Alanna, Goddess of all text sayeth, "Humans are a crabby lot. Let them act as they please, for thou hast better things to do than smite people all day."
Lo, Mistress Nightshadow, Lordess of the Full Motion Video, sayeth "Indeed. Like not leaving the holy hall of HP such a mess after using it."

Then, as a great fire came in the sky, the gods were attacked by the demon of contrived plots, the devil of poor characterization, and the naughty tentacle-rape beast of poor translation. And lo, the demons were smited.

As true today, as it was when it was written...

The Last Laugh:

Tired. Bed now. School tomorrow.

chesh "Nyaa~"

Old Issues
  • Opinions about the coming Truman administration?
  • The Auto-Mobile. Just a fad?
  • Damn the confederates! We'll route them for sure at Bull Run!
  Have a question?
Ask Google
Future Issues
  • Should we colonize Ganymede?
  • AAAAAAAAAH! Klingons!
  • Will super robot team alpha save us from the giant Hitler clone?

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy