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Chris Martin - April 20th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

And a happy saturday to everyone who's inside reading this column when it's a BEAUTIFUL spring day. For God's sake, go outside and get the stink blown off you. As many of you have heard, today we celebrate the birthdays of both musician Jimi Hendrix and mad dictatior Adolf Hitler. (Ok, maybe we don't CELEBRATE that one, but it's a good enough reason to get sloshed as any.) If you're looking for a nice gift idea, I hear Jimi collects those little Precious Moments figurines and that Adolf has had his eye on a gamecube for a while.

I was going to let Adolf guest host tonights column, but he really wanted to go see "Blade II" and his girlfriend was only in town tonight, so tough luck.

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Where have your minions gone off to lately. I have heard rumors that they've been off to war overseas, is that true? How have TRC and Lord Brian taken the joke about them being in a yaoi? Now what I'd like to see is Bin Laden tortured by anime characters and then forcing him to sleep with the annoying cute animal characters as punishment. Now are you going to ACen as the obligatory guy in a fuku that has to appear at every con?

Imperial Mog

Cheshire Catalyst:
My minions haven't called in days. I'm starting to worry.
TRC and Lord Brain thought the concept of themselves in a Yaoi anime or manga was so horrifying, they used an intrenching tool to dig out the parts of their brains that remembered the suggestion. Paws, on the other hand, blushed red when she heard the idea, grabbed her drawing tools, rushed into her room, and hasn't been seen for in a week.
I won't be going to ACen this year, and I don't think Bin Laden is either. However, the CIA reports that while Osama's current location is unkown, he is wearing a Japanese school girl outfit.

It's all a matter of semantics.

Hey Chesh,

Just a couple facts and questions

The facts
1. Weekend hosting of Q&A should contain Friday, maybe you'll overrule Google
2. Vampire: Masquerade for the PC, I saw it in a store, and it had a rippable box-top like cereal, what kind of company would do that?
3. Also, VG Music is easy to find on p2p systems, or if you want MIDI, go to

The questions
1. When is Neverwinter Nights coming out?
2. Will you be able to bash and slash doors down? You can't in BG2.
3. Can you do my homework?


Cheshire Catalyst:
1. I also overrule Google in all matters regarding John Milton and ownership of Glade Plug-Ins.
2. Activision, of all people. White Wolf also had a Werewolf: The Apocalypse game in development a long time ago, but that has since been placed on indefinite hiatus.
3. Amazing!

1. June 25th. That is, if BioWare doesn't feel like keeping it from us for even longer.
2. You damn well BETTER! You hear me BioWare? No specific word on door breaking, but I'd like to think that they'll play on the aspect of "Why bother looking for the key, when my dwarven fighter has Str 19 and a battle axe? I make my own keys. Ideally, you'd be able to blast your way through stone walls using magic too, but I doubt it.
3. Maybe I can, maybe I can't. The question is, "Will I do your homework?"

Dumb postal workers. You get a little anthrax, and suddenly you lose your sense of humor.

Oh, woe is me, Chesh, woe is me.

I came home this weekend hoping against hope that the Arc the Lad collection would have arrived on my doorstep (seeing as I, you know, preordered it from Working Designs way back in January an' all). But, alas, it was not.

Everyone else seems to be getting theirs, but I haven't. While blaming the US mail service, or Working Designs would be the sound thing to do, I blame the return of swing music. So, needless bitching aside, what games have you been looking forward to sinking your teeth into?

-Space Cowboy
< >Despair...

Cheshire Catalyst:
Arc the Lad collection looks nice. Maybe if some rich uncle I didn't know I had dies and I'm in the will.... yeah, I'll go get that. Neverwinter Nights looks cool. Otherwise, not too much. With the exception of the fact that I'd like to pick up some old games on the cheap (Legend of Legaia, for starters.)


If its game music you want, go to They have more stuff than anywhere else. Also, - it has remixes of game tunes, they're usually better than the originals :)


DDude hooks everyone up with the big arse cache of mp3's.

What are the chances of Project Ego being ported to the PC? Could this be a possible announcement at E3?


It's always a possiblily. We don't see this happen very often, however. We ARE seeing more and more PC ports of console games, though. (Grand Theft Auto 3 comes to mind.)

Forget Cowboy Bebop, or the Take Back the Night march, I want to know what's up with Midnight Cowboy. I don't understand what the point of the movie is, do you?

Daniel Carr

I saw only a little of it a couple years ago. I remember hearing it compared to Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men.", if that helps.

The Last Laugh:

That'll have to do it for tonight. I had more letters than this planned, but I lost a few of them when my comp decided to crash halfway through. Blech!

Have a safe and happy Hitler Day, anyway though. Celebrate it by finding some neo-nazis and inviing them over to your house. Then, when they don't suspect it, bury them alive in an orange crate.

Chris "Will you take responsibility for making me damaged goods?" Martin

Fear not! This one's an RPG Quote.

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