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Chris Martin- April 9th '01- 2:00 Central Standard Time

Shenmue is now a done deal. Yeah, I knew when I started that the whole thing would wind up being one giant "To be continued..." thing, but that didn't curb my dissapointment. :(

Ryo's girlfriend, Nizomi, is seriously hot though. Why Ryo never wanted to talk to her for very long totally escapes me. I poured through the manual for the special "Take her out for sushi and wild, passionate fornication" combo, but 'twas not to be found. And how long does a scratch take to heal, anyway? Ryo's kept that piece of tape on his face for an entire month. Geez.

That's enough of my prattling, now. On to monday's column!

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Driving a forklift is fun! Who'd have thought a boring, pointless job could be simulated so ... enjoyably?
In the Navy...
Hey chesh,
>Long time reader first time writer asking for advice. Saw a couple of people asking for purchasing advice when it comes to games. In my checking account I have about $4,000, Navy has been good to me, should I buy a dreamcast. Heard good things about some of the games, skies of acardia, shenmue, and others. What would you in your infinite wisdom(enough sucking up to get me posted, i'll do more) suggest. Thanks all mighty one


Cheshire Catalyst:
First, I should apologize for that title. I imagine if I was in the Navy, I'd hate that song.

Unless you're saving every penny for a car, house or pet monkey, I'd say grab yourself a dreamcast. Here's a lowdown on some of the more popular RPGs, (and others)

Skies of Arcadia: A really fun game. Beautiful graphics, nice music, fun characters. The story isn't anything new or revolutionary. (Heroes are after crystals and there's an evil empire against them.) The setting is fresh and innovative. A world of islands floating on air. Good stuff, my #1 suggestion.
Shenmue: It's the love child of an RPG, and a 3d fighting game. The graphics are amazing. Incredibly realistic. The game's major let down is the fact that the whole "game" is just the introduction to the Shenmue story. Two more sequels are on the way. Lots of great mini-games too.
Grandia II: The plot is a little more serious in this sequel. But just like the original, the game is a little too easy.
Other noteworthy non-rpg titles are Crazy Taxi, Jet Grind Radio, Capcom vs. SNK, and Sonic Adventure. The Dreamcast has lots of fun games. The system's finally become an excellent investment. Grab yourself a console!

But don't take my word for it... listen to one of many satisfied customers!
Guess what? My grandmother got me a Dreamcast! I wasn't all too thrilled at first, but I tried it (with Skies of Arcadia) and I have to say this: My Playstation 2, my Nintendo 64, and my Game Boy Color and all just sitting on their shelves collecting dust. I've played SoA, Grandia 2, and Sonic Adventure, and I just can't figure out how this console didn't end up ruling the 128 bit era.
Then again, I wasn't all too excited about it at first. I guess the Saturn has a stronger presence in everyone's memory than the Genesis, like it did in mine.
Sadly to say, buying the Dreamcast has been the video game equivilence to having a best friend with AIDS. I've found what could possibly be the best console of all time, but I know it's dying.

- Lord "I rob from the rich and keep the gold!" Sephiroth

Evil Queen:
Muha ha ha! Look! I'm a Xenogears character! This letter contains, quite possibly, the most depressing video game simile ever written, and it warms my blackened heart. Not since the time I castrated Jadeite with my long, piercing claws have I felt such joy. Excellent job, reader. When I take over the world, you shall recieve a quick death.

Delusional reader? Aren't they all...


Video game characters do indeed do strange things. Only in a video game can you carry on a conversation only using the words "Name," "Job" and "Bye." People just look at you funny if you try it in real life. Weirdoes.

And the problem with "Random Encounters" in real life is the fact that if you get caught, you get a bunch of officers (or "town guards," if you will) mobbing you. They generally have stronger weapons and more armor than the average adventurer can afford if (s)he has to rely on the money he gets from "monsters" to buy equipment, unless this adventurer has found the area where the elusive "Rich Person" can be found. And usually, the only Experience you get out of encounters like that is what it's like to be some bigger, stronger, higher-level inmate's, er, slave. Or to have a bullet tear through your chest (unlike most RPG bullets, these bullets are the equivalent of an Instant Death attack.) Either way, I think I'll pass. At least until I can leave the city limits, come back immediately and have no one remember anything about me. (Or until sleeping at an Inn can repair severed limbs, gunshot wounds and being run through with very large spikes, for that matter.)

As for the turtles, no comment. I'm still slightly upset that for some odd reason, my friend's pet lizard never wants to eat those turtle shell bits that I dyed blue (with non-toxic dye, of course) and stuck in his cage. Darn it, I want a flying lizard. Is that too much to ask!?

Note for the humorless: Practically nothing contained in the previous paragraphs was serious.

Er, it has to have questions? Ok...

  • Who decided what games would be covered? Was it just the staff's favorite games and then some more submissions? I can think of many more RPGs that just aren't here, and I'm thinking of sending 'em in... do I have a snowball's chance in heck? (Most are pretty old. Wait, no, really old. Mid-80's, even.)

  • What the heck were these decorators thinking!? (Ok, so that was rhetorical.)

Er, that would be all.

"Your GP or your HP!"

Cheshire Catalyst:
Hee hee. You so silly.

RPGamer originally only covered games made by Squaresoft. Currently, we do the entire RPGenre. ( <- Look, ma! I made a funny! )
It's tough enough keeping track of most current games, that we don't have a lot of time to do a lot of back tracking. Submit your stuff, though. A bored staff member (as in, "Not me") might just put it up!

The best way to get over someone? Get under someone else!
Yeah! I rule at piano!
Hey Chesh!

Here's a little bit of info that may be helpful to the guy that wrote in yesterday, saying he bought the Xenogears music book (I got it for my b-day last year! ^_^)- if you have the OST (or all the songs), listen to them on the OST and finger through the melodies in the book to figure out what you're playing, hehehehe. It's actually quite easy to learn- "You Shall Be As Gods" may be rather "fun" if you're not good at rhythms, but it's not too difficult. Just takes practice.
Hope I could be of some help! ^_^

Xenochick, -the Xenogears Goddess-

Cheshire Catalyst:

Yes, learn to play game music NOW while it's still optional. When I seize control of the United States in a brutal coup de e'tat involving exploding Twinkies, then I'll pass the "Game Music Law". The law will use taxpayer dollars to install giant loudspeakers across the United States. Whereever you go, you'll be able to hear game music. Depending on where you live, you get a different song. You live in Brooklyn? "Kids run through the City Corner"'ll be for you. Rural Minnesota? "Farm Boy" for you. Bel Air? "Solaris: Eden of Heaven". And that's just in your towns and cities. All along highways and byways, the massive monolithic speakers will play "Memories of Green", "Emotions", "Crossing the Knoll", and "Blue Fields" until you pull you hair out in madness. Muha ha ha.

I read you lived in Chicago. I am moving there June 7. I was just wandering where you live? Chicago itself? or the subs? I am in Lisle outside of Chicago I'm here at Northwestern University, in Evanston. North of the city. Nice place.
Will you marry me? A scary question approaches. Command? Run.
What's "Kuroneko?" Arrrgh! I know I heard that before!

"Kuroneko" is the name of the cat from Trigun.
I'm tired.....

Tell me about it.

The Last Laugh:

Goodnight everybody! Be sure to tip your bouncer as he throws you out for molesting the waitress.

Chesh"Princess of fragrant olives..."

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