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Chris Martin - March 16th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

As you age, you start appreciating the little things more and more. A gentle breeze, warm grass, a clear sky, and the fact that all of the washing machines downstairs were set for free use today.
It was like some freakish Cheer-sponsored Christmas. I was so happy that I didn't have to spend a whole 3 minutes making change for the machines, that I had become worried. Was I losing the sarcastic edge that comes with adolescence. Had I finally recognized that the world isn't a perfect place, and that one can derive happiness from even the most minor details?

Well, almost. Then I read this
Ed's note: Screwed up the page, so just copy & paste the link, 'mmmkay?

Now, I'm happy for entirely new reasons. It's like the Orwellian Bladerunner future with Hentai overtones is coming sooner than we thought! To prepare yourself for our cool new world, go rent "Legend of the Overfiend" and page through a Shadowrun sourcebook. In the meantime, here's my apocalypse free column.

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In the PS2:
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F-Zero guitar remixes. Sw33t.
Assorted Nonsense

What's all this Bruhaha?

Bruhaha? Ha! ha!ha!

A good point.

Yo Chesh,
Hear me and hear me well, for I want to start an endless sea of letters crashing upon Q&A hosts regarding an issue that most people haven't even thought of whining about: why the hell is everyone so excited by the possibility of porting FFIV, FFVI and CT (to name a few) to the GBA? I mean, we've seen these games published TWICE already. Most people have played them over 15 times! So why do you wanna play them again? I want originals, darn it! And why won't the Gamecube go down the toilet? It's not even good as a coaster...


Cheshire Catalyst:
Xeros throws a nice bucket of ice water onto the discussion. Not the kind that freezes, but rather, that which invigorates!

A while back, I got caught up in the frenzy that surrounded Final Fantasy Anthology. I bought it without realizing, "Wait. Why am I paying for a slower version game that I already own?"

The only reason I would see for purchasing a hand-held version of these games is because:
a) You haven't played them before.
b) The translation is very different, and supposedly more interesting. (Especially for FFIV)
c) Some other BIG change has been made, and you want to experience a classic game in an all new way.

Maybe we'll see a re-translation of FFT, but I doubt it. It'd be nice to play that game with a decent translation.

A good point.

LordChesh! Erm wait, your name doesn't have Lord in it.

1. Anyway, now that we know which RPG girl LordBrian thinks is the hottest, which one do you think is the hottest? Personally, I think Lucia ("She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!") from Lunar 2 is.

42. May Douglas Adams rest in peace

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Has anyone anywhere had any news on Lunar 3? I've heard that it's been confirmed that it's in production over at GameArts in Japan, but...

6.02 * 10^23. Why are the Message Boards always so dead?

PS. Chip Week! :)

Ross Bemrose, former RPGamer Music Guy

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. I will argue until my dying breath that Deus Ex is an RPG. That considered, I pick Anna Nevarre. Strictly console speaking, I'll have to go with either Summoner Yuna or Singing sensation Luna.
42. He's kinda been dead for a while.
3. Lunar 3 is in production. No news otherwise, however. But keep your browsers... uh.. tuned to for the latest news.
6.02* 10^23: Because there haven't been any good flame wars. Someone get in there and insult someone's politics/religion/gender/ or something. Do it, I command it!
-Cheshire Catalyst (soon to be former Q&A guy if he doesn't learn to stop provoking the readers into deadly rages.)

Say my name, Yuna. Say my name!

hey chesh,
ill get strait to the point

1. Are you as happy as me to find out about FFT to be on GBA? Im gonna buy it the first day it comes out.

2. Do you think they will actually say the main characters name in FFXII? They didnt say the word "Tidus once in FFX"

3. Do you like cheese? Till next time I am Phantom Gamer aka The Cheese Phantom

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. Eh. (See previous response)
2. Well, since you had the option to change Tidus's name at the beginning of the game, that would make it pretty hard to include a voice sample. If the name for the main character is unchangeable (something that no Final Fantasy has done yet), then the name will be included in the dialouge.
3. Do I look like a Nazi to you? Of course I like cheese.


Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Link have an uncle that dies in the first few minutes of A Link to the Past? This would seem to contradict the whole "Link left, then came back after a really long time" part of your theory.

That was a piece of editing done by Nintendo's US censoring department. In the original Japanese version, that character was a disaffected logger and Link was his underage bond servant. (Ever wonder why there was only one bed in that house? Now you know. The truth is a dirty, vile thing, isn't it?)*


Ross Bemrose

Come up with one for me, and I'll FedEx you a kitten.

Why is it that all the RPG characters that come out seem to look like women? The male characters have hips and show off their belly-buttons. The female characters sometimes look like women, but often they are more "fluffy" or muscular.

-Ragnar! Skunk

Most RPGs are made in Japan: the country that invented animé, sushi, and tentacle porn. Your average male anime character is prettier than your average Nicole Kidmann. While this rule works doubly so for shoujo (girls') shows like Revolutionary Girl Utena, Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, and Weiss Kruz, most popular anime contain at least one male character so pretty that even the most flaming heterosexual would reconsider. (Characters like Kenshin Himura, Allen Schezar, Kaoru Nagisa, and... er.. the entire male cast of Gundam Wing.)

- Galvatron

uhh... BEWARE! I LIVE!

Chesh -

Not sure if this is too late for your column, but heregoes!

1. GBA - I'm about to buy it, any games you'd recommend off the bat in the way of RPGs? What's all this Golden Sun mumbo jumbo about?

2. Anime - Where do you buy yours? Do you know any websites that are particularly good (i.e., selection, price, etc.)

3. What college do you go to? I vaguely remember you saying something about a certain school, but I can't remember the name. Don't worry though, I'm just trying to confirm your location so I can dispatch my army of doppleganger ninjas (ala Escaflowne) to terminate your life. Crap, I gave away waaay too much there.

Dark Ocelot

1. Golden Sun is loved by the staff members who've played it. It comes with high reccomendation from pretty much every site that's reviewed it. Other good RPGs include MegaMan Battle Network and Advance Wars (a TRPG). Now that Square has signed on, keep your eyes peeled.
2. Online is nice. is pretty cheap, but their service isn't the best. Shipping took forever, and ... bleh. has a pretty good selection, and the price isn't too bad.
3. Northwestern University in Evanston, IL.

Was there ever a version of Lunar 2:Eternal Blue made for the Snes?



The Last Laugh:

And there you have it. For tomorrow, in additon to your usual questions about what kind of exciting underwear I wear, I'll field any and all questions about Tabletop RPGs. Have a favorite? D&D, Shadowrun, Heroes Unlimited, Rifts, Vampire, Werewolf, Hunter, Mummy, Exalted, Big Eyes Small Mouth (the animé RPG)? Sound off about it. Which ones would you like to see made into a console/PC RPG? With the success of the Baldur's Gate series and Vampire: Redemption, could other games like these do well?

Till tomorrow then, and remember: beware of bridges -- stronger monsters lurk on the other side.

*Columninst is currently very, very drunk. Pay him no mind.

chesh "I know you want to live... After all, you've just been born. But, I want to live too, just like every human being!"
Three word hint: Survival Horror RPG

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