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   Stay-puft Marshmallow Lilith  
Chris Martin - March 9th '02- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

It's me. Nice to see all of you again. I hope you weren't too mean to poor Paws while I was off in rainy Pennsylvaina.
meanwhile it's a beautiful day for two reasons. It's been a warm, windy spring day here in Chicago -- made all the more interesting by the news about Nintendo and Squaresoft playing kiss-kiss-make-up. It's like having peace in the middle east, only infinitly less profound.
Nevertheless, this can only mean good things for the Game Cube and its owners. Let's see some of your responses.

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Laundry day is tomorrow.

But if I sleep in, I won't have to do it!

How many times must Zelda be captured before Link buys her some pepper spray?

Hey Chesh.

Yesterday Bullets gave the order (chronologically) for the Zelda games. Just so you don't have to check the list, Link's Awakening is listed after Link's Adventure (which I'm pretty sure is Zelda 2). Isn't Link's Awakening part of A Link to the Past (snes)? I thought the Link in the GB game is the Link from the SNES game. Also, I haven't played Oracle (either one) so I'm just wondering which Link is the one you play as. Unless I'm wrong there are three: the one from Ocarina of Time, then the one from Link to the Past, then the one in the original Zelda.

Tristan Adnade

Cheshire Catalyst:
Here's the closest I can figure the "Timeline" with help from Nintendo's own stuff. Turns out that there has been and is only one "Link" (but more than one Princess Zelda). Confused? I'll 'splain. Ocarina of Time: Link accidentally helps the Gerudo thief Ganondorf access the triforce. Link seeks the power of the seven sages, gains their power, and defeats ganondorf. Ganondorf becomes the demon soul known as "Ganon". Link defeats him, and Ganon is banished to the dark world for the first time.

Majora's Mask: Link is thrown into a parallel world by the skull kid. Link must save the world of Termina from the deadly moon and Majora's Mask.

Zelda - A Link to the Past: Link returns from his adventure in Termina. Due to the whole "Time flows differently in different dimensions thing." A long time has passed. The dark wizard Aghanim is using his power to break the seal that keeps Ganon in the Dark World. (Once, the Sacred Realm mentioned in both LttP and OoT.) After searching out the seven descendants of the original seven sages. (Which suggests that this Zelda is the original Zelda's great^n granddaughter (or something)). Link, with the sages, fortifies the seal on the dark world and seals ganon within. Link is granted one wish on the triforce in the end: which he uses to fix the problems created by Aghanim/Ganon.

The Legend of Zelda: After defeating Ganon for the second time, Link wants to take a break. Sadly, Ganon is finally able to shatter the seal that contains him. Remember, Link, Zelda, and Ganon each have a piece of the triforce as stipulated in OoT. Courage, Wisdom, and Power repectivly. Before she is captured, Zelda shatters the triforce of Wisdom into 8 pieces and scatters them across the land. (In dungeons dull of monsters, no less. Stupid princess.) Link collects the triforce of Wisdom, destroys Ganon, and regains both Zelda and the Triforce of Power.

Confusing? Here's where it gets really hairy. Nintendo states that the plot of Zelda II: Adv. of Link was to recover six crystals which would wake Zelda from her sleep. What they forget was this: the crystals weren't keeping the princess asleep. The crystals unlocked the final castle where the third triforce was held. Basically, a wizard (ex-servant of Ganon perhaps seraching for the final piece of the Triforce) puts "Princess Zelda" into a deep sleep. Her brother, the prince, locks this Princess away and asks that every girl born in the royal family be named Zelda. When did this happen? Not sure. This could mean that the Zelda you save in the first game is one of the descendant Zeldas and that this one is the true or maybe even the First Zelda.)
An unknown sage puts a spell over the kingdom so that when the chosen one appears and comes of age, the sigil will appear on his hand (Like in OoT, remember?) and he will seek out the final piece. (For, to quote the manual, "But, what will happen if someone else uses the Triforce before then? If it misused, it will produce many evils." -- which we've seen in Lttp, OoT, etc.)

Now, the big question. If Link is the same link we've known all along, then why doens't he remember that the Triforce of Courage is within himself? Remember the final boss of Zelda II? It was Link's shadow. Once Link defeats his dark desires and proves himself completly worthy, he will attain the true power of the Triforce of courage. In the end, Zelda is awakened, and they are reunited at last.

So when does Link's Awakening take place? That story takes place when you first ride the raft to the eastern continent in Zelda II. (A game within a game!) You arrive on Koholint and seek 8 instruments that will awaken the Dream Fish. Once Link finishes, it is uncertain if it was all a dream or if Link was taken to ANOTHER alternate dimension. Oracle of Seasons/Ages Takes place after all of this, I believe.

So there you go. That's using info I got from nintendo's own site and my own speculation. It doesn't really matter, eventually, because the whole "timeline" was never established in the beginning. The whole thing is like a giant ret-con: rationalizing the events of all the stories. My little guess here leaves a few things unnacounted for, but that's the best I can figure. Nintendo shifts the blame by adding the disclaimer that states, (I'm paraphrasing here because I can't find the page), that the legends of history are old and that this is 'one of many possible theories.'

God, I've written shorter term-papers.

Most of my letters were a variation on this:

Sweet Zombie Jesus in a smoking birch bark canoe!

Chesh, check out this link!,10870,2853838,00.html

Nintendo and Square back together? And Old Man Yamauchi hasn't died and/or retired?

My question: does this mean the Earth is doomed, or only that Japan is doomed?

Conor Edmiston, in the fetal position, muttering about why this didn't happen while the N64 was a viable platform

Cheshire Catalyst:
Hey we have the story too, you know. :( ( <- the sadness of being overlooked.)

What can I say, it's a crazy world. First steps are taken to disarm the IRA, now this. If the world DOES end, it better not involve a stay-puft marshmallow lililh like Evangelion: that was just gross.

And why not for the N64? One word keeps popping up: "cartridge."


It was Harle talking to Serge in Vipor Manor in Chrono Cross. *gives a bitchin' thumbs-up/smile*


I love that quote. You get the nod for giving where the obvious quote happens. ~!

You can always switch to Henry V, which has plenty of good material for fighting and whatnot. "Once more into the breach, dear friends!" -Inbar

PS: What's your favorite Shakespeare? I've always liked Othello, 'cause the big I is my idol and all ^_^.

Henry the Fifth is a classic despite all of the gushing patriotism contained therein. I like Hamlet, though I have trouble picking my favorite play of Willie's. Hamlet, Merchant of Venice, Richard III, and a couple others. If you're looking for a good play written by one of Will Shakes's contemporaries: I pick "The Knight of the Burning Pestle" by Beaumant. It's about an acting company that wants to do a play about a grocer, when a real grocer comes up from the audience and becomes offended because he's upset that the actors will give everyone a false impression of grocers. They try to make them do another play, and the whole thing turns into a big spoof on Elizabethan drama: easily as funny as "As You Like It."

You probably got alot of this after the Square-Nintendo announcement. But do you think its a pretty safe bet to say that PS2 will still receive all the FFs because of Sony's share of stock?

I can't really give a perfect prediction, but I think it would be pretty stupid if Square stopped developing for the PS2 considering the popularity of the system. That's a chance to make beaucoup bucks, and I'm not even a professional economist. Let's just say, I really hope Square continues producing for the PS2 and the Game Cube.

The Last Laugh:

I won't give ya'll any questions to answer for tomorrow, just drop us a line with whatever's tickling your brain and we'll do our best to answer and explain better than ten Inez Fressanges.

chesh " Hero? Human? These are just names people give after the fact."
Not so profound, but not as easy.

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