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Chris Martin- February 26th '01- 12:00 Eastern Standard Time

I'm crabby. Last night, after posting the column, I collaspe into bed. What happens? My neighbor's radio goes off. It is 3am. I knock on their door, I call them on the phone. Finally, I had to get the RA to open their room so we could turn off the radio. No one was in there ,and every piece of electronic equipment was on. I can only attribute this to RWBS. "Rich White Boy Syndrome". The world revolves around me, and to hell with everyone else. Being kept up past 5am does not make me happy. That, in turn, makes my column not happy. If you see Chris Foreman or his roommate, kick their asses for me. They're stealing valuable humor from the internet, and God knows there's not nearly enough of that. Is there?

Out of energy...
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Looks like it's time to feast upon the living again.
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You woke me up for this?!
Mambo Number Nine
Hey Chesh,
I've got a few questions about Final Fantasy 9:
1.) What is the maximum level your characters can reach? I would assume it's 99 again, but you never know...
2.) I've gotten all of the normal Chocographs (the ones that you select in the Chocograph menu,) but I'm not really sure if I've gotten all of the ones in the Key Items Menu. Will it tell me when I've gotten them?
3.) What does the "Odin's Sword" ability do? It claims that I will attack with the Odin Eidolon, but I've had no such luck there.
4.) Will I still be able to fight Ozma on Disc 4?
5.) Speaking of Ozma, is it worth beating him? I've noticed that most of the time my Eidolons do less damage then some of Vivi's magic.
Well, I guess that's it.
- Chris

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.)I believe it's 99.
2.) When you collect all of the chocograph pieces, the game will tell you.
3.) Normally, summoning Odin causes Odin to swoop in and try and kill all of the enemies. If he misses all of the enemies, then you're screwed. "Odin's Sword" allows you to summon Odin, and have him do actual damage if his instant-kill fails. A pretty, handy skill.
4.) Yes.
5.) You can win a Pumice Piece and Dark Matter from Ozma. If you steal stuff, you can snag a Robe of Lords if you're lucky enough.

Return of the Mini-Rant
Ok, I know this kind of thing should go in editorials...but I read some of those editorials...and them's guys go way over my head....maybe because it's so late at night...maybe because I'm just too lazy too write one...maybe because I just had to write two four page essays....but anywho...

I'm sick and tired of media and video game violence, and I'm forced to look at it everytime someone wants to buy an "M" game from my place of employment, once I ring it past the lil laser scanny things, up on my monitor pops 'Guest must be 17 or accompanied by an adult to purchase' Well...fine...I can understand that....OH, her comes a 5 year old wanting to buy...oh I dont' that a gory movie? Whatever....there is no legal reason, nor company sponsored reason why I couldn't sell this child the video, however, if he wanted Parasite Eve II, which...for all I could get through without just giving up in total frustration...10 minutes...there's no OVERLY gory more then is present in the worst of movies...also I would think a kid is less likely to be violent because of violent movies...I frankly am disturbed by scenes of violence, and would not do anything to spread any more violence...violent people are violent because of internal unbalances, or a lifetime of abuse, likely caused by parent or other harsh outside influences, the cruel jokes of children let's say. However...a movie like South Park *which I laughed hysterically at...* or, Friday, or any other movie supporting harsh language, or drug use...that's going to be more impressionable in a kid's a "normal" kid's mind anyway... Anyway, where was I? Oh yah...people are stupid...don't yell at a cashier for something that's not their much as I know I like to think I am a god...we aren't omniscient...we don't know the price of everything in the store...we're little more then trained monkeys, but trained monkeys with feelings...I hurt on the inside when people yell at fact...I'm going to cry now **sob**

Bilbo "I found a copper nickel..." Chris

Cheshire Catalyst:
No one knows the meaning of the double-standard, Bilbo. It's just there. Write your local congressperson. Moral: Be nice to cashiers. We're not working at K-mart because it's fun.

Remake mania.
Have you seen this?

Just curious. I guess it confirms that there's no FF9 release for the PC, that there WILL be a release for FF11 on the PC, and that they're going to rerelease FF7-9 on the PS2. Since you can already play those games on the PS2 (I assume), I'll also be assuming that they're going to be improving them. *shrugs*


Cheshire Catalyst:
I don't knwo how much or in what way they'll "improve" FF's 7-9. I imagine a graphics face-lift, with the plots left untouched. The rumor of resurrecting Aeris has returned again. Did you know they made a version of Romeo and Juliet where they both survive in the end? Guess what? It sucked.

Secret Message #91! Your host is tired!

Making fun of Kuja's......supposed "orientation"......was funny. What ever happened to all that?

It got kinda old. But I'll make another joke if it'll make you happy.

*ahem* Kuja's a nancy-boy. HAHAHAHAHA!

Hola, Chestershershire

The Shenmue movie: It's just scenes from the game put together. And guess what? In Japan, the voices are in English and there's Japanese subtitling. How likely does that make a worldwide release, hmm?

And, a Q! In Final Fantasy Anthology's extra FMV from the opera scene, who is the singer? I think the singer is the same as in the Grande Finale soundtrack's Aria de Mezzo Carattere track, but what indeed is her name?


Considering the fact that video games aren't as popular on this side of the pacific, I doubt we'll see a release of the movie stateside.
If I had the FF6 Grand Finale CD case with me, I'd tell you. Looks like a job for an alert reader. Send in your answer to Google, and recieve a tilde.

The Amish are indeed crazy. At an Amish garage sale, they were selling a headless Mr. T action figure. I am probably equally insane for buying it.

Well, the Amish have already discovered Action-Figure technology. At this rate, they'll be launching warheads within the week designed to obliterate all non-black clothing.

The father from Fresh Prince is also Optimus Primal on Beast Wars (or is it Beast Machines? No, It's both.) "Cheetor! Stop teasing Carlton!"


Boo, I scared you.

My last roommate WAS Carlton. Really. (Not the actor, but his real-life duplicate)

The Last Laugh:

They say that berevity is the soul of wit. In that case, this'll be the funniest closing you've ever read.

Chesh"For that moment, I know what I felt was real."

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