Ask Cheshire Catalyst  

   Opposite of Amish  
Chris Martin- February 25th '01- 12:00 Eastern Standard Time

I just realized something important. I am the opposite of the Amish. Go check out the amish sometime, and then check out me. We're as opposite as you can get.
Amish love to farm. I can't grow anything. I have zero patience when it comes to plants.
Amish are very spiritual. The depths of my spirituality seem to be: "When are games released in heaven. If it takes a few months just to get a game across the pacific, then I bet it takes a good long time to make it to the afterworld. Better than hell, anyway. Down there, there's only one book. And I've read it. "Star Trek the Next Generation meets the X-men". I swear to god someone wrote this. He must have been insane.
Amish people work hard. I am not, what you would call, a hard worker. If I go to the gym, two curls seems like enough of a workout for me.
Amish people get up at 4am. I go to bed at 4am.
Amish people always wear hats. I have a big head. Hats make me look, as my mother puts it, "retarded."
Amish people wear a lot of black. Despite how well it goes with the loner/gamer stereotype, I wear very little black. I think I have two black t-shirts. My "Paul Simon/Bob Dylan" Tee, and my evangelion "NERV: God's in his heaven, all's right with the world" logo T-shirt. Come to think of it, the amish don't go to too many concerts or watch too much anime either.
And the list goes on and on... Point is, I'm not Amish. Also, it's fun to poke fun at the amish. Why? Because they're the one group of people who are guaranteed not to read this. Ha-Ha!

Ahem. Enough foolishness. .

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The Sound of Music
Xenogears Spoiler. You reading this Ted? Finish the damn game already.

What the heck is that song called, yanno, the one that plays when Maria is yelling at her father? (Damn it's been a long time since I've played that game) Its really cool, but I have no idea what it's called, so I can't find it on Napster to download.

Help me, Obi Chesh Kenobi! You're my only hope! Or else I might have to go out and get a life. And you know you don't want that.

Isn't it kind of odd that those fanatic government people make such a smurfing stink over Resident Evil and such, but completely ignore Xenogears? I would think Little Timmy would be a bit more scared of poeple turning into monster thingys to build God than spurts of cartoon blood.

~Mesaana, Insert Clever Catchphrase Here

Cheshire Catalyst:
Yanno? Ok. So you know, Yasunori Mitsuda wrote the awesome music for Xenogears (as well as Chrono Cross and Chrono Trigger)
The name of the song that plays while Chu-Chu and Maria(in Seibzehn) battle her father(in Achtzein) (the names meaning, respectivly, #17 and #18. Hmmm. Where have I heard THAT before?) is named Flight. It also plays during several other kickass scenes.
Check out They might post it.
Concerning your other question, let's just thank providence that government officals only look at the superficial aspects of these games. If there had been gallons of blood in Xenogears, then there would have been a problem.

A letter from someone who puts acadmeics before video games. What's up with that?
Hey Chesh, how are you?

I'm temporarily trying to stop playing RPG's. It's hard so far, it's only until I finish passing in my big important papers for University. I thought maybe watching an Anime would help make it easier, but I'm low on cash, do you know any good 1-3 tape Anime's that I could rent? I've seen Akira, Project A-ko, and I think those are the only two relatively short ones I've seen. How long is Cowboy Bebop?

Elena Holman

Cheshire Catalyst:
Cowboy Bebop is 26 episodes. The first DVD has 5 episodes on it. If you want a complete series, you might want to pick up either Macross Plus or Blue Submarine #6. One major drawback with Blue Sub #6, it's 4 episodes. They put one episode on one seperate DVD. It sucks when they pull crap like that.

Hungry...for MURDER!
hola chesh! first, i want to say that freya's a rat person, NOT a horse. just like the rest of the burmecians... there's a reason the prince is called 'rat boy' at the beginning.:P

second, i want to ask: in parasite eve, do you know what those retarded little items maeda gives you at certain points of the story do? if they don't do anything, then i should make room for more junk, ne?

third... what's your favorite american band/group/singer/musician? Tool rocks!

fourth: am i the only person who was almost fooled into thinking that the new movie monkey bone was directed by tim burton? seriously, the commercials say 'from the director of the nightmare before christmas'... it's officially called 'tim burton's nightmare before christmas' (even though most things simply call it 'the nightmare before christmas'), so one would assume it's directed by tim burton, right? WRONG! do not be fooled! monkey bone is nothing but a craptastic movie trying to trick you into thinking that tim burton is capable of making bad movies! just say NO!

uh. yeah. any answers would be appreciated much... but i'm sure i'll get not-printed again.:/ oh well... but if chopping of that fourth part makes my chances better, more power to ya!

~shramoon~ get off your lazy arse and play Sacrifice! now!;)

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) Freya's a rat. Gotcha. I thought Hammer was a camel, but he's a rat too. They should get together.
2.) They're japanese lucky charms. As far as I can tell, they don't do a damn thing. You're free to correct me if I'm wrong, though, readers.
3.) Thanks to Napster and other sources, I no longer have to buy music. Ahahaha. So, I have a nice myriad. I buy Wierd Al, and I like the occasional Metallica, Offspring, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, John Williams, and I have A They might be giants CD. I have some other random stuff in here too, like Sting and Gloria Estefan. Oh yeah.
4.) I never thought about it. I wasn't really planning on seeing it, though. Maybe it's worth a rental regardless.
Finally, wouldn't playing "Sacrifice" require me to remain on my lazy ass? Thought so.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome A la Nintendo Controller
Wow. I'll bet not many other online RPG columns can claim to have recieved fan mail from one of the leading figures in 20th century choral music. I've actually met John Rutter, too, so I'm especially impressed ^_^

Oh, right. Content.

I'm starting to get excited about the GBA. It's the first thing Nintendo's done since about 1996 that's actually grabbed my attention. It amuses me that it has more intriguing-looking RPGs-- actually, more RPGs period--lined up before it's even been released than the N64 has had in its whole lifespan. I do think the grand total of four buttons is a bit odd, though, if not downright stupid.

Speaking of buttons, why is it that Nintendo feels such a need to reinvent the wheel with every system (except, apparently, the GBA)? The SNES controller setup of D-pad + 4 buttons + collar buttons was simple but versatile and easy to understand. Barring the addition of an analog stick or an extra set of collar buttons, it has served the PSX and the Dreamcast well. But as I recall the N64 controler (and bear in mind that I haven't seen, much less held one, in about four years...) it was kind of clunky and had way too many widgets for its own good. And I don't care how comfortable they say the Game Cube controler is, it still looks about as intuitive as particle physics. Please tell me, o wise one, what fuels this strange desire for unnecessary innovation?


Cheshire Catalyst:
No one famous writes to ME. Just the booger who writes Tues-Fri. :( You listening Baldwin Bros.? I want one letter each. That's presuming Billy knows how to write.

The Game Boy Advance does sound pretty exciting. I can take fun, good looking RPG's anywhere I go! No longer will I have to unplug. No longer will I have to quit playing video games when I have to go to places like "The Store" or "Class" or "My Parents' Funeral"

Controllers can get pretty funky. The SNES and PSX controllers remain my favorite. The N64 one wasn't that bad, but no matter how you held it, you couldn't easily access all of the buttons. The DC one seemed a little awkward to me at first, but things have improved. Oh, yes.

Secret Message #14! Buy Nabisco brand foods!


I loved this Honkey Tonk Woman who had been in a real Cowboy Funk. Then I saw her Jamming with Edward to "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the fourteenth. What a Funny Valentine... That Hard Luck Woman was riding Wild Horses a week later when she was thrown and suffered a Brain Scratch. Now she does nothing but Speak like a Child, playing with Toys in the Attic. She was heartless, but I've got Sympathy for that Devil.

Congratulations, you just made me laugh out loud at three in the morning. You win a hat-trick tilde. ~ ~ ~

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't ludicrous!!!!! IT WAS NEVER LUDICROUS!!!! TMNT ROCKS!!! Elias Koteas is Casey Jones!!!

-Squall the Surly SeeD

P.S. Did you know the father from Fresh Prince was the one who voiced Shredder? Freaky.

That IS wierd. "WILL! How many times have I told you?! No more wild parties in the technodrome!"
In all fairness, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes wasn't any more or less ludicrous than any of the other cartoons of our youth, including "Ghostbusters" and "The Super Mario Super Show". But with TMNT, you didn't even have to look past the title to know you were in store for something bizarre. I mean, they had that great looking pad... in the sewers. I don't care how big of a TV or how many anchovie pizza's you get delivered down there, you can't escape the fact that your casa de turtle smells like ass. Literally. Shredder should have been able to smell the turtles coming five miles away. That must have been why he wore that metal face-plate.

Oh, great and yea mighty holder of the atom, I bow before you, a lowly child of the atom...

Isn't this too true?

Can I have my tilde now? pleeeeeeeeeze?

Penny Arcade. One of the few, great webcomics. Check out too, while you're at it.
Hey Chesh,

Mog is an intelligent being! He shouldn't be on the poll. Neither an animal nor a sidekick , he is a true price amoung moggles!

I voted for Nall

I agree. I voted for Nall and Morte. (Can one really choose?)
just wanted to correct a little mistake you did: there is in fact a shenmue movie it came out a couple of weeks ago in japan, i don't know if it will be translated thouht

Interesting. Maybe somone can subtitle it and bring it over for us to watch? (I'm looking at YOU, VKLL)

The Last Laugh:

Good night, Good night, parting is such sweet sorrow.

Chesh"Thundercats! Ho!"

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