Ask Cheshire Catalyst  

   The Day the Angel Flew  
Chris Martin- January 22th '01- 12:00 Eastern Standard Time

Hear that? That's the sound of twenty thousand orphans sighing with relief. Yes, I had spent the entire day lining plastique alond the walls of "Our Lady of the Immaculate Reception"'s orphanage. But thanks to YOUR donation of many, many, letters, those children won't be blown to oblivion. Unfortunatly, now I have about twenty tons (or tonnes if you're from England or something) of plastique that I don't know what to do with. Eh, maybe I can sell it on eBay. I already have a nice bid from someone named "PLO". Cha-Ching!

But what do I do with the multitude of letters that hath descended on me? I turn to the book of Exodus.

And the Isrealites said unto Moses, "What are we to do with all of the manna that the Lord hath given us?" And Moses said, "Spendeth thy mana wisely. For any mana that remaineth unused by the end of thy discard phase, shall burneth thou one point of life each."

At least that's what I think it said. I spent most of my time in Sunday school reading my "Magic: The Gathering" instruction book. Anyway, the moral of the story is, I whined like a little girl about not getting enough letters. Now, I have many letters. So, as a reward for being such good little servants, I will now print EVERY SINGLE LETTER except spam of course IN MY INBOX! It's crazy!

Guess what?
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Chicken butt!
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Can I really print all of these letters?

"You can do anything you want to long as you believe!"

Winners don't do drugs.
Game....Start Up!

Hey CC,

You need questions? How's this.
1. Ever play Septerra Core, and if so, your thoughts? I thought it was simply a game with good potential but too much dungeon crawling for its own good. and completeley unrelated,
2. Has VG music ever directly affected you emotionally? that is, bring tears to your eyes, or whatnot. The one of only pieces to get close for me was the ending song for Chrono Cross, becuase during the...Whoops. goota dodge the spoiler flag.
Anyhoo, keep up the vicious sarcasm. I get grumpy without a constant infusuion of cynicsm.
-Mad Fnorder

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.)I really enjoyed the game's characters. Especially Maya, Grubb, and Lobo. The fact that you had to undergo certain subquests to get 2 characters to stop attacking each other in battle certainly added a touch of realism that, sadly, CT lacked. (re: Ok, Magus just joined your party and... Frog's cool with this?) Sadly, many of the dungeons were really tedious. Plus, the "summon monster" graphics were really...blah. Must be because Square has spoiled me.
2.)"Aeris's theme" is a really sad piece. And anytime I hear, "Kids run through the City Corner", I always blank out only to awaken the next dawn with my clothes ripped and covered in the blood of the local citizenry.
Yeah, I'll keep up the sarcasm. Just for you, Mad Fnorder. Uh huh. Sure. What-EVER.

One of these things is not like the other...
FF9 Spoilers. Sorta.

Dear Kitty Kat,

Okay all I got are some question:

1. Have you beaten ff9? If so do you know what the difference is between if you have the hammer or don't.
2. Playonline is wrong you don't need the hammer to forge multiple items from Hades (I haven't tried this, but someone I know said he didn't have it, so no flaming me)
3. Played LoM? That was a great game.
4. WHy kill an orphanage? Why not blow up Squaresoft HQ? Thatd really hurt us.

TRC- THE Renegade Conformist

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) Yes I have beaten that game. If you beat the game with the hammer, instead of performing "I want to be your canary" at the end, Avalanche performs a rather obscene nude rendition of "Richard the Third." On my list of people I've scene nude and wish I haven't, Baku lands near the top. Right between Dr. Laura and Shinji Ikari.
2.) Stupid PlayOnline. Just for that, I'm NOT filling out my entire registration form. Take THAT, corporate America.
3.) Nope, haven't played it. Maybe I'll rent it someday.
4.) Somehow, I thought that hundreds of dewy-eyed orphans being blown up would be more heart-wrenching than blowing up a few hundred Japanese salarymen. I could be wrong.

I pity the fool who don't change the quote.

Hey Chesh,

I'm a long time reader, and I've asked questions before but none have been printed thus far (I know, I know, you can't print all of them every time, but anyway).

Before my real question, I have a different one. The subject, "No cloud, no squall shall hinder us!" is someone being lazy by not changing that? I'm sure everyone except that guy from yesterday that is still on disc three knows who says it. "Marcus" (really Zidane) at the end at the play in the ending of the game. Do I get a tilde for saying that, though I'm sure about 100 have said it already?

On to my real question. Legend of Dragoon. Yes, I did buy this. I didn't see any of the hype though, I was in a store with my boyfriend and he suggested I get it. I looked at it, thought it might be good and did so. I was a bit dissapointed when I started playing it though. I stopped playing it a bit after the death of Lavitz. My question is, does this get better at all? Or does it stay at about the same level for the whole 4 discs? I hate to have paid about 60 or so Canadian for something that's going to sit under a stack of PSX games doing nothing.

-Elena Holman

Cheshire Catalyst:
First off, yeah. We've had a bit of a quote stagnation going on here at RPGamer. We're buisily trying to pick a new one. Mad tildes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ go to everyone who got the quote. Also, yeah. Legend of Dragoon does kind of remain predictable and boring thorughout the entire charade. Sorry. :(

My brain is full of this crap.

Hello, CC!!!
Uh, as you need questions and stuff...

1) In FF7, where's that dern W-Item materia? I forgot...

2) Watch "Outlaw Star" yet? The cuts are just a tad bit obvious, ne?

3) People dislike the overly cute Pokemon, but are okay with Moogles and Chocobos...???

4) FF9 Semi-Spoiler Alert!!!!!! Was any one else annoyed when Dagger cut her hair??? I liked it better long, and it didn't really get in the way of her well-rendered butt...

Justin "FF10 delayed??? Yeah, there's a shocker..." Harwood

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.)When you're running through the subway tubes during the return to midgar. You can run one way to face the turks, but if you run the other way (for quite a distance) you can find the W-Item materia. How in the Hell I remembered that from memory is the real mystery.
2.)Nope. No TV in the dorm for me. The janitors broke the TV.
3.)I hate things that "act cute." Things that dance and sing and just scream "Oh aren't I adorable?" make me nauseous. I think it's the same with everyone. If Pikachu, the Pepsi Girl and that chihuahua from Taco Bell all fell in a meat grinder tomorrow, the world would be a better place.
4.)I like short hair. Long hair is cute, but I don't like ridiculously long hair. Short hair is sexy.

Former Attorney General Janet Reno says, "Winners may not do drugs, but beer can make me look vaguely un-cronelike."

What up, Chesh?

I decided to write because of your letter shortages, and this is the only way I'll ever get posted. Anyway, i have a couple of questions that have been sticking in my mind.

1.Is the last boss in Legend of Dragoon invincible? I seem to get him down to the last bit, then he kicks my ass.

2.Are you planning on getting American McGee's Alice? It's an awesome game, and there's the evil Cheshire you.

3.An orphanage across the street from me was blown up yesterday.

4.Do you think that FF9 is harder in the beginning than the end?

5.How close am I from finishing FF9? I'm at the part when you open the wrapping and take out the game disc, then put it in when you toss the manuel away. I KNOW i'm almost there...the last boss was hard. I had to summon scissors to help me.

6. What's the big deal about anime? I mean, i'm gonna get flamed for this, but I don't get why it's so big. I watched Ghost in the Shell, and thought it was completely stupid. I'm not insulting those who watch it...I'm just wondering why you watch homosexuals and hetrosexuals.

7. Would you be willing to part with your copy of Lunar: SSSC for twenty bucks? (i was gonna ask for FF Anthology, but you wouldn't want to part with FF6, which is the only game I want).

8. What's the worst ending in a game for you? No need for details, just name the game. Mine would have to be FF7. Seventy hours and all I get was that. Tsk tsk.

9. Do you watch the NBA? If so, what's your favorite team?

I guess that'll do it. If it goes on any longer it won't be posted, and we wouldn't want that would we?

Peace and joy,

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) The final boss is not invincible. Believe in yourself, and anything is possible!
2.) Nope. If I buy another game of that style, I'll probably get "No One Lives Forever." I'm hearing mixed reviews from people. It looks...ok.
3.) Did you see the cat in the flying saucer hovering above it? That was me.
4.) The beginning was harder than the end. Boss-wise anyway. The final boss of FF9 was depressingly easy.
5.) Now you have to press these buttons in order. "Open" "Power"
6.) What? Ok, I'm following you when you say Ghost in the Shell was stupid. (What? More hacking? Better get naked first...) But I don't understand the question about homo and heterosexuals. That... really made no sense. All I can say is, Anime is just like evrything else. Some like it, some don't.
7.) Let me th...No! I have the Final Fantasy 3 cart at home. Lunar is an awesome game. Check eBay.
8.) Chrono Cross. FF7 was sorta cool, if ambiguous. See yesterday's column for reasons why.
9.) I live around Chicago. Within days of my arrival, Dennis Rodman used his hypno-hair to bring me into the Bulls fold. I don't watch much Basketball though.

I'm running out of titles already.

Hello Science-Kitty,

This might seem a bit harsh, so bear with me, you wanted letters, and I deliver...

I get the "Most blessed and Holy of systems" *Attempts to stifle laughter* and what do I get handed to me, but pieces of garbage those fools at Sony call "games." Hell, the plastic these "games" are burned on make me sick. Now, like most of you reading this, you might be wondering, "What does this have to do with RPG's and their byproducts?" Well, let me explain...

There were 3 "rpg's" that the PS2, or as shall henceforth be called the BS2, and thier names will be lost in the scope of time, and these are completely pathetic. I work not only in the game slaes industry, (Some of you might know me as Jesus on Halloween) but I also own everything I play, and I'm afraid that if things don't change soon, My BS2 and various accesories will be destroyed. I won't sell them on eBay, or any bull like that, they're just gonna be blown up. All shall fear me and my waste of 300 dollars!

Dark Master of Ill Intent.

Also, can I have a pony?

Cheshire Catalyst:
Lesson Lesson! If a system has no good games, it's a $300 doorstop! I seem to remember that the Dreamcast's games kinda sucked in the beginning too.

Gambling at such a young age. Shame.

Hi cute little kitty cat! (Well, I just ruined my chances of getting printed) Anyway, I just wanted to ask about the roulette game in the original Alundra (actually the only one since Alundra doesn't even show in the sequal...unless he does and I just haven't gotten that far yet...). There has to be a trick to winning that thing. I've only won it twice before and that was pure luck (I got five red's in a row.) It's really ticking me off cause I can't say I've gotten everything until I get that stupid spirit wand (which I don't really need anyway...but that's another story.) Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and attention.

Jamie "I almost cried at the end of Rue's quest..." Harper >8^()

Cheshire Catalyst:
Try picking the number you think the ball will land on. Sacrificing a goat helps. In other words, the roulette game is based on chance.

Contrary to what Tom Green says, putting your bum on a man isn't that much fun.

Hey Chesh, I saw on another RPG site that a source really close to Square has said that they were going to release FFIV (Hardtype!) and the Chrono Trigger remake on the PSX. Am I the only one that let out shouts of joy? FFIV was my first RPG, and still my favorite. Sure it's a game from 10 years ago. Some may call it nostaligia, and maybe it is. But rememeber, this game was never released in the US. This is the hardtype, and the little I played of an imported version was actually hard. Imagine, besides the LUNAR series, we haven't had challenge in an RPG in a while. Chrono Trigger, is, well, Chrono Trigger. Many people claim it's the greatest RPG on the old Super Nintendo and were crying out when the US never got the PSX remake when it first came out in Japan. What's the saying? "Good things will come to those that wait." By the way have you played Skies of Arcadia yet? Good RPG, but I just can't get into it like Lunar 2 and FF IX. It's nice having a good Dreamcast RPG though. What about Valkyrie Profile? That's sitting here waiting for me to finish SoA. Moogle of Death

Cheshire Catalyst:
Ok, remember kids. This is a rumor. Beware or rumors. It certainly sounds cool though. I believe we still have the anime clips from the CT remake on the site. Melchior looks too much like King Kai for his own good though. And no, I haven't played Skies of Arcadia yet. Google seems to believe that it's the greatest achievement of mankind, however. In otherwords, a good game. You go buy now! I also haven't played Valkyrie Profile yet either. I hear that's pretty good too.

I save the day. Again.

Hey Chesh,

I'm in desperate need of some Final Fantasy 9 help. I'm on disc 3 in the Desert Palace. I just lit the candles to make the staircase appear that takes me up to a room with stairs leading up to a candelabra. Then, nothing happens. Zip. I've seen pictures in walkthroughs showing a little '?' bubble appearing allowing you to search the candelabra and thus fight the boss. But I don't get a '?' at all. Is this some sort of strange bug in the game? Am I missing something? Am I losing my blinking mind?

Even if you don't print this, please give me a response. Until then, I'll be playing my long-untouched game of Final Fantasy Tactics. I've finally gotten a fully trained calculator, and they rock!

Vitamin "You must bring me...another shrubbery!" D

Cheshire Catalyst:
I looked all over, and all I can say is to try again. Go all the way to the back of that staircase, to get to the candleabra. If you're still having problems, make sure everything is lit up and you've taken as many bloodstones as possible.

I'm aiding in juvenile delinquency. What's wrong with me?

Mr Catalyst guy,

I've got a whole bunch of questions on varying subjects to ask, and with luck, someone can at least answer one of them, so here goes.

I'm one of those apparantly few people who went out and grabbed a copy of Persona 2, and I can say I'm relatively pleased with it, with only one little hitch. Every time I try and start it up, it'll say that I have to insert the CD, even though it's already in there. Only after taking it out, inspecting it for nonexistant dust and scratches, and putting it in again about 15 times, can I seem to get it to work. It's pretty new, there aren't any scratches, no dust, and my playstation seems to still be in great shape, so what gives? The same problem happens from time to time with my Legend of Mana game as well, so something seems to be up. Any ideas?

Next question, with the now-availableness of the PS2, I've been thinking of going and getting myself a new system. However, it's a toss-up between the PS2, and those game for it that haven't come out yet, like Bouncer and Onimusha, or the Dreamcast and PSO and Skies of Arcadia, both of which seem like very good choices. While I'm not one to make choices ahead of time, What I've seen of the PS2 so far hasn't given me too much faith. As it is, I already have a PS and an N64 (Yes, I'm one of those poor souls who actually went out and got one, despite the only 3 or so games for it that actually have challenge in them.), and themother(tm) almighty has stated that I must get rid of one of these before I get a new system. The basic question: Which is better reccommended, the PS2 or DC, and If I have to lose one of my current systems, which one should I dump? Or is there a good way to dupe themom(tm)?

Finally, a nice, rare type question for you. I'm a Planescape: Torment player, and I;m just wondering where on the plains I can find someone who can change the Nameless one to a Mage class.

>Er... that's about it, I think. Here's hoping this letter gets posted!

Endrion Starscreen
-"Trap? What Trap? Oh.... THAT tra-*BLAM*"

Cheshire Catalyst:
Sounds like you might have a problem with the Playstation. They can be kind of buggy. Try turning it on its side or soemthing. Crazy stuff works with those things. But, you might have some minute scrathes on your games. Try them out on a friend's console, before returning them.
Ok, I'm going to have to say dump the N64 before the PSX. But, the fun thing is, if you use Bleem! you can dump the PSX, and play PlayStation games on your computer... sometimes.
Finally, look around in the city of Sigil. Ragpicker's square I think. You start the game off as a fighter, but can be trained as a thief or a mage. Be careful, I hear the lady of pain doesn't like mages.

Days long gone.

Hey (monks sing) CHRIS MAR-TIN
Are you going to make any more scary pics because I like those. If you got no ideas use mine because they're scary. Is it just me or is FFX going to be not just a big change in the graphics but in the battle engine. I think it's a refreshing change of pace to change the battle engine to one with more strategy and maybe one with some more difficulty. You need help on anything since I got nothing to do.
Imperial Mog

Cheshire Catalyst:
Now that I do the column, I don't have time to make witty and fun pictures anymore. We haven't had any reader comics lately. Send 'em in, we love to hear from you.
As for FFX, well let's wait and see.

Freeze Bridd!

Hey Cheshire"who doesn't like chemistry" Catalyst-

I'd first like to say that you are a lot more interesting than Goog, and I enjoy reading your column more. You're not so trivial as the slime. Oh well, on with the questions.

1) Not RPG related, but is it wrong to stare at Naga's boobs all through Slayers? I find them completely fascinating.

2) Why can't Square make a game where music plays an important part, not just background noise? I say this because they have both the masters of the RPG sound department on their staff. Nobuo Uematsu and Yasunori Matsuda.

3) Whose artistic style is your favorite among the video games. Mine is a cross between Yoshitaka Amano (assorted FF's) and Akira Toriyama (Chrono Trigger). Both have unique styles.

I guess that's it.

Adios, mi amigo de loco

"obsessed with Outlaw Star and Naga's boobs"

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.)Considering Nagha's breasts take up 1/3 of the screen whenever she's on camera, I don't see anything wrong with it. 2.)Music played a small part in CC. ;) But I see what you're saying. FF6 had an opera, FF9 had riverdance, and FF5 had piano lessons! Note to square: we love stuff like that. 3.)Same. Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy IX were gorgeous. And who doesn't like Chrono Trigger? ;)

the fat crotch horn band. TOOT TOOT! WHAT A BAND!

Your destroying orphanages! but Rutee works at an Orphanage. I have a few questions that may prevent it from being destroyed.

1. In Tales of Destiny, why is the quartz rod 100,000 gald when a better sword is only about 800 gald. i dont get it.

2. Eiko is a better healer. Hold and Madeen is sooo good, plus Esuna (I hope i spelled that right) does everything Garnet could prevent. and Garnet's beserk never works on enemys. but Garnet is a better charecter out of battle

3. that wasent a question was it?

4. What happens when you get the name of the four-armed-man?

5. is it even possible to finish final fantasy 9 in 12 hours?

6. if i send you my Haikus will you post them

hopefully that willend your hunger for letters

The untalented Bard

Cheshire Catalyst:
Proofread before you submit, kids.
1.) RPG Logic. Same reason wizards can use swords, and you can carry 99 potions and 99 tents, but not 100 potions.
2.) That's nice.
3.) No
4.) The planet explodes.
5.) Apparently
6.) uh. Maybe.

Someone's in the kitchen with Jesus.

Okay, you begged for letters, so here.

1. I plan on buying a DC within the next 24 hours, based solely on Google's praise of Skies. Now, what are your recommendations as far as other games? I generally only play RPG's, but also enjoy games such as Castlevania:SOTN. I hate FPS, though.
2. Orphanage? Blown up? Kidd'll be back for revenge...
3. What was the first RPG you ever played? (Video game-wise)
4. Do any of the staffers at RPGamer actually have a PS2?
5. Is PSO worth getting, if you can't play online? (Rural area=9600 connection)
6. What's in the beaker in your sig? Tonic? Elixer? Ether? Captain Morgan's and Blue Hawaiian Punch?
7. What book series do you think would make an excellent RPG (other than LOTR)? I personally think The Sword of Truth series could be well done.
8. If you are in college, what's your major? And how far are you into it?
That should help fill some space.
-Light Magus

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) Grandia II and Shenmue. Hey, that rhymed!
2.) Insolent fool? She thinks she can challenge my power? Ha!
3.) Final Fantasy One. God, I loved that.
4.) Our Boss, Mike, bought one.
5.) Maybe. I think so.
6.) Emerald Weapon Semen.
7.) I think a Gundam tactical RPG would be awesome.
8.) English/Writing. Sophomore.

Time to get a job.

Dear Chesh,

Hello. I have a favor to ask you. Basically, it involves printing this letter, so let me get to the point.

I've noticed that a lot of people write in to RPGamer who want to develop video games. However, the problem always seems to be that there are plenty of programmers but not enough artists, musicians, designers, etc.

I am a member of a small game development group (4 people). And we have the exact opposite problem. I am the only coder in the group. The other three are these kick-ass artists and musicians. Every day they fill up my e-mail inbox with all this art, music, design docs, maps, etc., and I'm furiously trying to write code to bring it all together.

Okay, so here's my point. All those people out there who want to program a real game, but are having a hard time putting a project together, please contact me ( ). Since the games we do are freeware, we can't pay you. However, I can promise you that your name will appear in the credits of any game that you contribute to. Also, you will receive source code and the finished product to use for your resume, if you wish. There is also the slight possibility that one of our games may become shareware. If so, you will receive a share of the profits.

I'm not prejudiced or picky about people, however, it helps if you have some C/C++, DirectX, or Win32 Platform SDK/MFC experience. But even if all you know is Java or Visual Basic, or you want the chance to teach yourself some coding, then by all means let me know. I've got some things that need doing that don't require any prior gaming or Windows programming experience. I could probably also use a web person (HTML, etc) to handle the project's web site.

Thanks a whole bunch, Chesh!

~todd ( )

Cheshire Catalyst:
Sounds fun. Send him a letter, guys.

Word to your mother.


You know, I recently noticed something:Last year a whole lot of RPG's were ignored. Maybe it was Final Fantasy 9, Chrono Cross, Skies of Arcadia, Lunar 2, and other stuff like that or maybe they just got ignored. It seems like Threads of Fate and Valkyrie Profile were ignored the most, though. You notice this, because I sure did... Also, a few questions:

1)How many RPG's can you think of where the main character is NOT the most powerful? Seems to be one of the biggest RPG clichés to me.
2)Is it just me or do the character's from FFX look like rejects from the Bouncer?
3)Can Moogles save FFX's character designs? If they included a moogle for a playable character all might be right in the world once again!
4)Have you seen Final Fantasy:Legend of the Crystals? I personally love it. Doubt they'll be able to do so good on the actual theater FF movie...
5)Does it seem to you like everybody buys the PS2 because of the hype? Nobody seems to actually want the PS2 games, they just want the PS2. That's all. PS2 sucks Blockbuster, get your Dreamcast games back!


Cheshire Catalyst:
Sad to say, the big games pushed some decent games out of the spotlight. Threads of Fate wasn't one of them :P

1.) Lunar 2. You're either at the same level as everyone else, or weaker than Lucia.
2.) Or vice/versa. Same designer methinks.
3.) No one will ever know...
4.) The anime? No.
5.) I hear the PS2 has some decent sports games, and those are what bring game companies the big bucks.

Saturn Planet Power! Make-Up!
FF9 Spoiler imbedded in here! Beware!
Well, if you're that desperate for letters, I might as well give it a shot...

1. Has anyone over there played Breath of Fire 4 yet? Any opinions? I love the battle system--the freely interchangeable front and rear parties eliminate all those annoying decisions about who to take with you, and also mean that you don't have to tromp all the way back out of some dungeon just because you need to kick a rock out of the way and don't have the right character. My main gripe is that money is ridiculously scarce until late in the game. I seem to recall BoF3 had that problem, too.

2. I've noticed a lot of people complaining about Kuja's attire, or lack thereof, as though this total lack of fashion sense were somehow new. If we take a moment to look back, it's obvious that a lot of Square characters seem to have trouble with the concept of practical clothing. It probably started with Kefka the Clown Pimp and Cid 6, who never took his raincoat off, even on his deathbed. Then we have Tifa, who cheerfuly charged into a combat situation wearing Daisy Dukes, suspenders, and a sports bra. From Chrono Chross alone, we have Karsh and his combat bellbottoms (with lovely fiesta del sol motif), Steena the Disco Superheroine, Korcha and the Speedo from Hell, and Nikki, in comparison to whom the members of KISS would blend in seamlessly at any white-tie-and-tails occasion. And as far as I'm concerned, the Disturbing Pants award has to go to Vagrant Story. Even ignoring Ashley's exposed buttocks, there's still the issue of Sydney's pants, which not only have their own cape, but cleavage as well. Compared to that, the most worrying thing about Kuja's outfit is where he manages to hide a tail in it. (It's probaly best not to speculate.)

3. Wouldn't Pin the Tail on Kuja make a great party game?


Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) I have no played BoF4. I don't hear too many positive reviews of it though. 2.) Kefka was the man. But what about Zidane? He has a doily around his neck. 3.) I wouldn't play that game.

Roller Coaster of Love!
Several things for you today...

1) I tried sending an e-mail to you yesterday, but it seemed your e-mail system had crashed or something. I got an error in return. Praps that's why your letter supply is low?
2) A long long time ago, I saw an advertisement for Lufia: and the Fortress of Doom being ported for the Genesis. Is it at all possible that Taito (or Natsume I guess) still have buisiness with Sega?
3) Would I get sued for buying the domain ""? What about ""? Apparently no one's bought them yet... (laughs at thought of blackmailing television executives)
4) I am apparently the only one who liked Chrono Cross' good ending. I really liked it. No frills, and a dang good monologue. And I liked the song. -growl-
5) What is the chemical formula for Acetic Acid? Bicarbonate? And what do you get when you mix sodium with phosphoric acid, with a limited reactant of 5 moles of sodium?
6) Did you hear that Square relented and agreed to making the FF4/Chrono Trigger remakes? Apparently enough people signed the petition! Yay!
Well, that's all I could think of. The only truly relevent question was the Lufia one, but ah well. And no, I don't know the answers to number 5, so you can bluff it. -Scav

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) It wasn't slow today.
2.) Maybe, we'll just have to keep an eye on things. Turn to RPGamer for all of your Role-Playing Game news!
3.) I have no idea. Give it a try, and if Regis Philbin comes and kills you, then yes. It is bad.
4.) Hey, I didn't say you couldn't like it. High-pitched Japanese songs hurt my teeth though. :(
5.) You're my freshmen chemistry prof, aren't you? DIE!
6.) Yeah, some guy a few letters up told me.

These titles make no sense.

Hey Chesh,

I was reading the Q&A(woah) and I saw some quickie about how Chrono Cross had no real closure. Let me put in what I got out of it. It is actually quite simple. Sure, they didn't show the worlds or dimensions merge... but everything was pieced back together and you realize that in the end Serge was back on the beach? With Leena, same place it started. NO ONE else knows ANYTHING of what happened. Only Serge remembered. He even asked Leena and she was baffled. They sent him back in time with the fixed world, and well, everything is happy. The fact that Serge had saved the world goes unknown. Dunno, I may have missed some stuff to add in here, but too bad... thats good enough... have a cookie, it'll calm ya down...

Cheshire Catalyst:
I'm hoping Serge is sent to a mental hospital a la Gulliver's Travels. That would be cool.

"So, Serge-san, tell us again about how you *snicker* saved the world." Nurse Betty! Up his prozac!

Ya pa pa Ya pa pa

Here's one that has stumped me.
In FF8's final castle/dungeon/thingy there's that one puzzle with all the pictures. Where you have to select "In the Garden Sleeps a Messenger" in Latin to trigger the boss to release another sealed ability.

Everyone remember running to the FAQs here? Right, so did I.

The trouble is, I couldn't for the life of me figure out how the brilliant author figured it out. Even with the answer in front of me I still couldn't reverse engineer it. Did they just brute force it (ie try ALL POSSIBLE 3-letter combos) or what?

So I turn to the historically smartest of all animals (that's a cat for those of you who own dogs) for the answer to this perplexing puzzle.

I see now that the alliteration was unnecessary and added nothing to my letter, but I'm weak of will.

Cheshire Catalyst:
Who told you I was smart? All of my brain power has been sucked up by useless Nintendo and cartoon related knowledge. Example: The members of G-Force (or Gatchamen) are Ace Goodheart, Dirk Derring, Agatha June, Pidge, and Hootie. (That's the US Version, anyway) Why I still know this, I'll NEVER know.

G-Force! Transform!


I don't know, maybe I was just lucky, but I beat Zophar the first time with no angel rings equipped and with most of my characters having close to zero MP. I wasn't sure if I was near the last boss so I didn't heal everyone, then boom, Zophar. Then again, everyone had either elemental protection or a high magic defense...and the battle ended up lasting 30 minutes...

Uh, anyway, I'm still playing Grandia:

1) I used Justin's Spirit Stone in battle and he gained 1 HP. Is this permanent (i.e. cheap way to get a lot of HP)?

2) Speaking of which, do the Trust feathers quicken the character's IP permanently too? The game says so, but it seems too easy...

3) I want to kill that Master's Ghost thing in the optional Dream Castle, so what level should I be on/spells/moves do I need? And Milda just left, so should I use a previous save so she can help, or should I go (presumingly) to get Liete instead?

4) I just discovered Justin's "Dragon" move and I've been abusing it every since to quickly gain weapon, fire, and earth proficiency. The question is, are there any other attacks that similarly raise stats quickly? Do any of the other party members have them as well?

Hope that helps.

-Red Raven, who thinks L:EBC's ending(s) were a lot better than FF9's

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) I doubt it.
2.) I think so.
3.) I never did the optional dream tower. You might want to try that previous save though.
4.) The Thor Cut is pretty handy. Sword/Fire/Air

Lain has no mail.
Lunar 2 spoilers. Chrono Cross too.

Yo, Chesh!

I just beat the Lunar: Eternal Blue Epilogue, and I was very pleased. Was it just me, or did you find the Star Dragon incredibly easy? Hiro was lv. 57, I had two healing rings coupled with Althena's sword for 139 HP regen each round. All I did was triple sword him till I ran out of MP, and that was enough to kill him. I was kinda like...."Thats it??" As far as the "good" ending goes, I woulda liked to see more closure on the Ruby/Nall deal. I think that woulda been funny. It was still fantastic though. Anyhow, on to some relevant questions!

1) I beat Front Mission 3 using Emma's storyline, and now I have my save file right at the begining of Alicia's story at like 41 hours. Is it worth it to play through the second scenerio, or does it just fill some gaps in the story?

2)In Final Fantasy Nine, I'm at the last dungeon, and every time I fight the second sub-boss, he does this attack that just totally wipes me (can't remember name, involves fire and burning). I can't defend against it and no one lives. And I have to start alllll the way back at the entrance. Any tips?

3)In Chrono Cross, after I got Serge back into "serge form" I went to Forbidden Island to fight Dario, and he just demolishes Serge with any one of his Black Element attacks. Any advice, oh wise one?

Well, theres my questions, thanks for your time,


Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) I don't have FM3. It's a fun game though. Play it again ;)
2.) Level Up. Fight Grand Dragons. Use Quina's "Mighty Guard"
3.) Get the black plate (steal it) from the black dragon. Really the only way to beat him.

Made from fresh apples.
Hello Kitty Seroius Lunar2, a small one at least Just finished Epilogue Mode. Tha very last boss did kind of dissapoint me. I'd stocked up 12 silver lights, 19 starlights, and lot's of other stuff. All characters att full health and mp. And then i have to fight him with Hiro only, and he was a wimp. I was just curious about your time and lebel at the end.. Mine was about 42 hours and all at level 70 (killing Chiros is fun and profitable). Second, your thoughts about the whole epilogue mode? I liked the whole thing, something "new". And third, your opinion about the EVA ending, the part after the last angel is destroyed. /db

Cheshire Catalyst:
I'm in the epilouge. Level 55, 37 hours. I really enjoy the epilouge. And the EVangelion ending? Episodes 25 and 26 reeked of "we're out of money." And the movie End of Evangelion was cool, yet creepy as Hell.

Farming is fun!
These are all Harvest Moon: Back to Nature questions:

1. Where do you get the fishing rod?
2. How do you get the bee hive to grow on your tree?
3. What's the deal with all the girls in the game -- am I supposed to talk to them continually to get them to like me or should I just concentrate on farming.
4. Is there an easy way to get the horse into the stable when it rains? It usually takes me several game hours trying to push the stubborn creature up there.
5. What was the point of the Spring Goddess festival? They make a big deal about it in the game, but it only lasts about five seconds.
6. Do you have any hints in general on how to succeed in this game? It seems like I'm having a pretty tough time.
- Mr. Harvest

Cheshire Catalyst:
I haven't played this game, so I know very little about it. Try Googleshng. I'm pretty sure you're going to marry one of those chicks.



I just finished watching the first two Serial Experiments Lain DVDs, and that show is cool in a freaky kind of way. But now I'm all freaked out because I got on the computer right after watching them and now my monitor is zooming in and out randomly. As long as my computer doesn't all of a sudden goes "Laaaaaaain" in that weird voice from the Macintosh word processor...If it does, I am NEVER watching freaky anime again. Especially at 2 AM.

Oh, ya, RPG question: Is it just me, or are names of people and places in some recent RPGs really DUMB? I mean, take Legend of Dragoon for example. Lloyd? The Black Monster? WINGLIES? I mean, I like the game and all (Except I can predict EVERYTHING that's going to happen to me and the fact that Lloyd is Sephiroth with a hair cut), but COME ON. Ah, it beats the "Mysterious Vanishing Hill" from Grandia. Might as well have named it the "Obvious Device to Move the Plot Along."

Oh ya, and I just had a birthday this weekend. Do I get a birthday tilde or somethin? ^_^


P.S. You have my permission to snip this letter apart if and wherever it requires it ^_^

Cheshire Catalyst:
I think the names have always been stupid, and we're just noticing it now. I mean, "The Kingdom of Baron"? I bet it has the Duchy of Earl. Also, "Empire Capital: Vector". Oooh. Evil Geometry city.

how do i get past the jeweler gems mansion?

You can't really level up in that game, "Illusion of Gaia". Just keep trying.

Hey hows it going? I just wanted to know if you have heard if CT is going to come to the playstation? If not then maybe the Gameboy advance, since they are porting the FF series. Thanks for your time--Josh

It's a rumor. That's about it.

HOW COULD YOU??????? you called Radical Dreamer (the chrono cross ending song) a really annoying song! I thought the ending, and the song were one of the most gorgeous endings i have ever seen. You unartistic/unimaginitive people are pathetic....

Well, excuse me. I have a very low tolerance for high pitched wailing in my music. Not that I dislike Japanese music. Escaflowne's "No Need to Promise" is beautiful. This song just really didn't do anything for me. And yes, this ending was a cop out. If "artistic" means incredibly vague and short, then I'll pass.
I like crayons.
If you print this, I'm gonna cry
I know you sank Jay Leno in your backyard pond last summer. Now who will point out newspaper typos?
Hey Chesh, where can I get some cool Lunar merchandise/memorabilia? I've seen the stuff they have at Working Designs but what I really want is some imported Japanese stuff. Thanks. Check eBay. Do a search for anime stores on the internet, sometimes they carry stuff like that.
Is it just me, or does FFX seem less and less fun the more I read about it?

~Casey Edwards~

Hey, you never know. Square might surprise us with this one. I'm keeping an open mind on this one.
Hey Chesh,
Since you haven't been getting too many letters, I think I'll throw some random info at you.
Speaking of homosexual males ....I have come to the conclusion that Ghaleon is in fact, gay. I mean, why else would he have secret gardens full of fairies? He's definitely trying to tell us something. He even sounds like it. Oh yeah! Word of warning- you better be careful about your TA. She might be a Femmebot. Oh wait. If she doesn't have boobs, I doubt she'd do any harm anyway.

Laurel Rhiscarlan

Between his voice and love of Faeries, you would think Ghaleon is gay. He did try to score with the Goddess, though. Maybe he's just effeminate.
I like ramne.

Do you like ramen?

I'm going to eat some ramen.


I ate so much ramen during my Freshman year, I think I'm sick of it now.
Dammit Chesh!Why won't you tell me how long it takes to finish Torment!? Sor-ry. :O. The game doesn't tell you itself, but I'm guessing 40-50 hours.
Alright, it's that time of year again... time for EXAMS (for me, anyways)! Any hints for us RPGamers looking to study for these EXAMS?

Insanerest of AOL
Try turning off the Playstation and going to the library. ;)

Mandy came out of the all-night Vurt-U-Want, clutching a bag of goodies.

Suddenly, Mandy was attacked by hungry ninjas. Hungry for MURDER, that is.

STOP PLANTING BOMBS IN ORPHANAGES!!! Don't you remember the chicken incident!?
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see frogs eating marshmallows
Anyway, pointless opinion question... If you were in an RPG, what weapon would you use? I would use a flail, either a morning star or my stopwatch.
I'm not sure why I just told you that, I guess I'm just bored. Send me a candy necklace and maybe things will get interesting...

Sabin "SORDS R COOL 2" XIII How can CC be so original with hidden text!?

I'd use a sword. I'm a traditionalist that way, I guess.

Those are long quickies.

Hey, do I come down to the docks and pull the sailors off your back? Don't tell me how to do my job. ;)

The ending of Chrono Cross was a cop out yes, but the song ruled! You don't deserve to say it's bad. ^_^ No Kidd hentai for you! >:( Oh yeah, and FF6 sucks. And tacos suck.

- Darshu "Mr. Cynical" The 'Bastard!'

Ok ok. If you like, "Radical Dreamers", good for you. I didn't like it, but that's just me. I also watch dubbed anime. I'm an offical freak of nature.

I would just like to point one mistake out in the letter that BL Alien wrote in the other day. I'm not sure if HawksEye and TigersEye are men in Japan, but I do know that in the original "Sailor Moon," FishEye is actually a man.
Oh, and in response to BL Alien and being the only one who can stand anime dubbed by FOX or the Cartoon Network, he's not alone. I actually perfer my anime to be dubbed.
Alright, now that I've sickened everyone with the news that FishEye is a transvestite and that I perfer dubbed Anime, I'll leave. Thanks!

Lord Janus X

Fisheye's a man, baby! Sweet, another freak of nature. I watch everything dubbed. Even Ranma. Oh, and Cowboy Bebop is better dubbed than subbed. ;P Neener Neener.


Hi! I know you absolutly LOVE explaining storylines to the underdeveloped minds of RPG-land, so here goes (don't kill me, please don't kill me!): Could you explain Final Fantasy Tactic's storyline for me, please? Especially the very end scene where **SPOILER** Delita kills Ovelia? (If I'm right, a good explanation ought to make for a real long column. Operation Save The Orphanages underway! Oops!! Did I say that out loud?) Also, do you know if they'll ever make a sequal? Thanx!

Ok. The Church was fanning the flames of war. Basically, Delita became quite power hungry and turned into the very thing that he despised in the end. I'd explain more, but I'm so tired. :(

The Last Laugh:

Remind never do that again. (Passes out) Be nice to Google, kids.

Chesh"The whole inbox. This better net me MAD karma..."

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