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Rambo IV: Third Blood October 29, 2005

Andrew Long - 3:09 EST

YES, THAT'S RIGHT - it's a momentous day in the movie world, for Sylvester Stallone, at the tender age of sixty, has decided to bring back the awesomeness that is the 80s, and has even hoodwinked some corporate sponsors, if this site and IMDB can be trusted. So join me in celebration, for John Rambo will surely ride again.

In other news, please enjoy this, the first installment of Children's Disco Musical Stories. You may have heard this part on the 365 Days Project, but hearken, for I have located the entirety of Jack and the Beanstalk, while that project contains only the first two disco numbers. So sit back and enjoy as I play one part a day for my next nine columns.

You people and your damnable remakes...

Yo, whoever. I can't seem to keep track of which host is hosting when. Anyway, everyone is clamoring over the abundance of remakes Squeenix has in store, so I thought I might add my two cents; Do you think that Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars will be brought as a remake or port to the DS? It was an awesome rpg, one of only ones to implement a battle system in which the player had to focus on every battle to win. Not to mention it was also pretty funny. So, what do you think? Any chances?



Is it really that difficult to keep track of our schedules? I update Friday through Sunday, Matt goes Monday to Thursday. Granted, I sometimes bugger up my schedule in terms of the time I'm supposed to update, but I'm weekends, Matt is weekdays. In any event, a DS SMRPG is a possibility, since S-E and Nintendo are no longer avowed enemies, but Nintendo seems to have perfected making the titles on its own, so really, I don't know that such a collaboration would necessarily be something either company would seek. Besides, Mario & Luigi 2 is slated for release quite soon, so you don't even need to yearn after a DS remake because there will soon be sufficient Mario & Luigi goodness to go around.

So while I guess it's a possibility at some point in the future, the Mario RPG series seems to be doing quite well enough at present without dipping into the past.

Do I look like a park bench to you?


A million games out there anymore, do you think this large amount of games being created and pushed out is really a benefit for the RPG community, or is it actually harming it?

On one side, you can easily say, more RPG's, more selection to pick and choose!!

On another side, with RPG's being rushed out the door are we stuck with having to deal with mediocre games that do not have enough thought put into them?

I feel most games anymore are just average, I have not seen anything that just stands out and makes you want to say 'WOW'

I personally do not mind waiting for worthwile games to show up and give me a great story and playability that is actually enjoyable from beginning to end.

Do not get me wrong, a lot of games out there are cool and interesting, but it is seeming to be a plethora of normal games with normal stories and normal playability.



I really don't think that the number of RPGs being released in a year has changed all that much since one, two, or even five years ago, so the problem you describe isn't really an issue based upon what you've said; what I think has created the sense of a profusion of games is the fact that the total number of games in the market has cumulatively increased over the years, creating the sense of a bloated market. In any event, I don't think it hurts the market; there's roughly the same number of good games coming out as there was ten years ago, and the not-so-good ones that are out there have increased in like proportion too.

What you have to remember is that in any set of variables, there will be a majority at "average", whatever average happens to be, because of the simple fact that having an average is an inherent fact of a series of variables. Thus, there will be that mediocrity you're talking about when you get to forty and fifty releases a year. The fact of the matter is, though, you don't have to buy forty or fifty games; as was the case five or ten years ago, all you really need to concern yourself with is the five or ten games that are really good, and from that number, picking up as many as you can afford. Do that and all the worries about mediocrity will fall away, assuming you know how to pick out a good game and a bad one.



Seriously, die. This is not a gimmick; I really do hate it on a deep and personal level when someone calls me Andy, so frigging stop it.

Man, I'm so excited for the New NHL, it's just got me so fired up. I totally think the New NHL jis going to rock the veritable Kasbah. Do you like the changes they've implemented in order to make the New NHL?

Okay, I'm a prick...whatever.

Onto questions!

What games DO you like? I seem to only remember hearing how you don't like this or that game, this or that series. Oh, you loved Dragon Quarter...very cool game if I may add. But you didn't like the rest of the series right? Not like that's hard to do, DQ was quite a step away from the norm for the BoF series.

I like plenty of games. From the aforementioned Dragon Quarter to FFVI and Chrono Trigger and Disgaea and Shadow Hearts II and Secret of Mana and many many others, there are a good number of RPGs that I enjoy. Do you really think I'd be writing for an RPG website if I hated all RPGs? Geez. I think what might give the impression that I hate everything is the fact that I don't consider too many games to be perfect, and can inevitably pick out some little flaw that drives me crazy. Keep that in mind; I don't necessarily hate a game just because something about it is bad.

Is anyone NOT wetting their pants in anticipation for DQVIII? I personally don't know what I think of it...all I really know about it is from the screenshots I've seen and the characters don't look too awful cool, but that's just my opinion which probably stinks.

Anyone who has played a demo of the game that I know is now a drooling mess, so take my word for it - it will be well-received.

Uh...yeah. Wild ARMs...I'm stoked about Alter Code F, but not sure if I'll get it. Wild ARMs was one of my favorite games (still is) of all time. I don't want to pick up Alter Code F hoping for it to be the original with some spruced up graphics (practicaly the only thing the original lacked) and find that they've mutilated it to the point of being unrecognizable.

The Man, the Myth, the Legend,


Now who's a negative-hater-of-all-games? Mweehehe...

You sure got the noveletter part right, Arros

Hi there Castomel,

Regarding "That looks like about eighty points" thing from SO2 I think in whatever standard anime/sci-fi space army thingamajig Claude comes ftrom combat situations are given grade points, so yeah as far as quotes that support the questionable translation go there is the one where Rena names Ashton's dragons Gyoro and Purin or something and everyone thinks those or perfect names for them despite me never figuring out WTF the names meant, just so you know the main reason I like SO2 is because it was the first rpg i ever owned... yeah...

This sort of knowledge should not be assumed. I maintain that "Looks like that's around 80 points" is a dumb thing to say, especially after the fact - what the heck is the use of a threat assessment if you can only make it when the threat is past?

I think the quote on the front page is curtosy of Baten Kaitos, where Gibari the Wakka impersonator eats a hole in that candy house thing... god that game was weird

Having accidentally deleted Roku's email with the answer, I will assume you are correct and award you a conditional tilde: ~

Yay for prinny plushies, I'm trying to win one for my lovable snuggable girlfriend so she can toss it at people... yeah we are weird

As far as WA:ACF goes I'm uber excited because I never played the first Wild ARMS due to the crappiness the second one slid into, hell I almost passed up WA3 but luckily I needed something to get for christmas that year, also I read somewhere that Alter Code F refers to the game being an alteration of the first game in the series

Question: I also heard somewhere that there is some kind of link between WA:ACF and WA4 through save loads and unlocking stuff do you have any idea what this is about Cast?

I spoke to Cortney, our resident WA:ACF expert, and she assures me that you are, in fact, crazy as a loon. There was some speculation on a message board somewhere or other to this effect once upon a time, but at this point there has been no confirmed link between the two games, so I am afraid you are out of luck.

UPDATE: Martyr, our Grand Notioner and sometime eater of fries, has said that he thinks X-SEED announced such a thing. That said, we still can't find 100% confirmation (although an email to X-SEED has turned up something close to it), so at this point, it's just speculation.

Question 2: As I asked Matt I'll ask you, has a character in a game you really disliked done something really heroic/villianous/cool that earned your respect and made them a favorite character?

Yeah man... Golbez! Turning on his evil corporate overlord at the end and fighting beside Cecil was the coolest thing he could have done and I only wish I'd gotten a chance to play as him. Damn you Square!

Question 3: Is it just me or does Kefka's woop woop woop laugh sound like the laugh in the fun house from the carnival in Chrono Trigger??

Arros Raikou


It does indeed, but Kefka's laugh is somehow more memorable. That's one thing I would absolutely insist upon if FFVI was ever remade for another system: that Kefka's laugh make the trip, unaltered, onto whatever system the game goes to. It's just not one of those things you should screw around with.


Yo man, here again makin your life more miserable by the sole mean of my existence! Anyways before starting with the questions I gotta say that while you may have felt flattered(a cookie if ya tell me wheres the quote from) by my signature, you should think that well... its a signature.

The second thing before the questions is this: Play Fantasy 5 Of Clubs Win a World Cup trip in our new monthly football game, enter today.

Seriously dude! like WTF?... and this, my friend, was in the lovable google anouncements in!

Good question... I guess Google figures there's some crossover between RPGamer and soccer pools? Don't feel too distraught; once, in a column where I eulogized Hunter S. Thompson briefly, all the Google ads were about him, so I think it just keys in on words in whatever the advertising is with.

Now questions:

1. What is WA:ACF?

WA:ACF is Wild ARMs: Alter Code F, a remake of the original Wild ARMs. Cortney, once again, assures me that it is, in fact, the bee's knees.

2. Why in the god's name the contest are for friggid canada and holy northamerica? seriously I live in "Awesomely touched by God Mexico" and it aint like 3 zillions away from there, in fact I would even pay the shipment of my prinnie(as a note The part of the continent called northamerica starts with mexico all the way to canada)!

Regrettably, at this point we restrict our contests to Canada and the U.S. because that's where at least 2 out of every 3 of our readers lives, while Mexico, unfortunately, does not account for a percentage I can currently identify. I apologize that you are unable to enter, but hey - if you're industrious, you could always go piss off those Texas minutemen, sneak across the border, get a PO Box, enter, sneak back, win, and then cross the border again to claim your prize!

I'm all about solutions.

3.You play Gunz( man? coz if you do then tell me when and ill show ya what it feels to be bombed down while you look at the pretty birds in the sky... If ya dont then do it coz the thing its free a nice time killer and theres pretty birds in the sky

Ooooooo and thanks for the advice in BOF V helps more than a bit.

As always if theres any engrish in there yer welcome to live with it, move forward and hope the human kind finds its proper way...
El Cruz


Hmm. I think I have briefly played GunZ in the distant past, but I found it to be much like Worms, a game I already owned, so I stopped playing once I formatted and it ended up vanished from my hard drive. In any event, you are welcome, and I assure you, your engrish content is minimal.

Unfit for Print

can you take a cursed sword out after u equippped it


I'm gonna go with yes, in the hopes that this is counter to the actual truth in whatever game it is you're talking about. Had you mentioned that I might be able to help you, but since you couldn't even take the time to do that, I wish you a lovely death by cursedness.

q u i c k i e s


Yes you can save Gremio. Get all everyone before you storm the final castle(before Leknaat gives you a pep talk), You will see a special cutscene.

Side note: saving Gremio is the only way to get all 108 stars, which means its the only way you can play part 1's hero in Suikoden 2.
~~~aka. Skypp

ANDREW:Okay, that's one way to put it...

Hey Drew,

I usually have no inclination to write in to these things, but I saw the quickie question concerning Gremio in Suikoden, and felt I had to reply.

While you can't get around Gremio dying, you can bring him back. First, recruit all 108 Stars of Destiny. In the War Room, after you destroy Shazarade, Leknaat will appear and resurrect him. Now while I have not tried this (yet), I have found this in many many locations across the Internet, so it's gotta wrk, right? Anyways, I guess if u keep the save file, he does appear in Suikoden II or something.

Hmmm....guess i'll throw out a question. What do u think of KHII? Personally, I think it looks amazing, and the story seems interesting. But, I hope they don't overdo it world wise. I mean, yea it's nice to have a lot of places to chk out, but there is a limit as to what one person can take. I've actually heard rumors that it will be on 2 discs.

Ok I think that about wraps it up, so good luck w/ the whole letter thing (I find u funny as hell--can't see why ppl would be disinterested)

Sooooooo long,

ANDREW:...And this looks like a much better one. Thanks for doing the research I so clearly didn't, NightOwl, and thanks for your kind words. As for KH2, I got a chance to play it briefly at E3, and I couldn't really get into it, owing to the fact that I didn't have much time, and besides haven't played the original, making it kind of hard to take a significant interest in. That said, I know the series has lots of loyal fans, and so I do hope to give it a whirl someday when I have the cash kicking around to buy. Yes, I know it's a Greatest Hits... I'm just really broke at the moment.

So remember - if anyone asks you where the plans are, you can once again say "they're close..." and be using topical and up-to-date humour, because a washed-up 60-year-old actor is suffering from a late-midlife crisis! In other news, tomorrow's column will be a free-for-all, so send in what you will, and send it often. For now, I must go, because breakfast at 5 PM is a shabby thing indeed.
Andrew Long is certain of a victory in the spring primaries.

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