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Energizer Beware

Andrew Long - November 18, 2004 - 23:35 EDT

THOUGH MY RANDOM DISAPPEARANCE Sunday may be seen as such, there was in fact a reason for it - my internet service, which has been crapped out since Monday two weeks ago, remains crapped out in Toronto, leaving me with no column for Sunday, no chance for Shroudie to finally hunt me down, and general irritability on my part. Handily, a delightful hangover resulting from Pizza Hut wine has taken over in the irritating department, and with internet service still a go here in Whitby, I'm pleased to say that I can, in fact, do this weekend's columns.

Ah, you say, but you promised us a super surprise. Well - I did, but unfortunately, said surprise will have to wait until my connection restores itself in Toronto - which it conveniently did for a few hours this morning, coincidentally (and most likely, spitefully) while I was redistributing the contents of my stomach to reflect a new domestic policy on crap wine and greasy pizza retention, which is rather liberally geared towards "not", on the whole.

Anyhow, I think taking an entire paragraph to say "I puked" signals we're just about ready to get down to business, so without further ado, I shall now shut up and drink some juice. Electrolytes are my friend!


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Mommy, Where Do Chocobos Come From?

Mmm... 64 slices of American cheese
(You'd best unstick from the ceiling now)

Breaking news: you can't trust multimedia students

Hey Google

I heard a nasty little roomer from a multimedia student in my school last night? I guess he was under the impression that FF12 was getting scrapped. I personally don't see any reason to scrap it, I mean alot of people are eagerly anticipating its realease in fall of next year, Right?? Ohh that brings me to my other concern, IGN has it realeasing in Feburary 15th of next year, I am guessing that is the Japaneese realease, Right?

That nasty little rumour is ridiculous at best, my nameless friend. Not only did Square Enix present the game recently in Japan, complete with a guest appearance by Hironobu Sakaguchi and a 3-minute video sequence, but there is absolutely no indication anywhere that the game will be cancelled. More than that though, it doesn't make any business sense for S-E to cancel FFXII at this point cuz it's deep in the development cycle. They've poured millions of dollars into it, and dropping it like a hot potato so close to its expected release date would be just plain stupid, and pretty much the only thing that could bring that about is if they accidentally wrote Hitler into the storyline or something.

In conclusion, never trust your friends again.

Non-Canadians, eh? Time to rain on this parade >:)

Woo for Google! Humor that follows! No more 'let's string random things together so that we can pretend we're funny'! Intellect! Non-Canadians! Slimage! Woo for Google!

Anyways, so my rant at the moment is Blockbuster. I've taken to saying 'screw you, buying games' because Blockbuster has most of the games I Want to get. Nothing by Nippon Ichi, but I can make an exception for them. The problem is the selection of games they have. They get a game like Katamari Damacy, but not Phantom Brave. They get .Hack episode 4, but not the first three. They got Paper Mario 2, and paid extra so they could release it to their rental section 2 days early, but Metroid Prime 2 is 4 days late. I just don't understand. In any case, they told me that they were supposed to have gotten Baten Kaitos in yesterday afternoon, so I'm off to get it. Later.

So, thought you'd be getting slimage this weekend, eh? Didn't think you'd see random junk strung together, hmm? Call me low-brow, will you? Thought you'd get away with a Canada-free weekend, yesno? WELL, NO DICE, BUDDY BOY! Not only do you get to deal with me now, you get me for three whole days, and when Bush comes to Canada soon, you'll have to see our house of parliament in the news! Our ugly prime minister will leer at you! Our mounties will amuse you! And most of all, our delicious beef will give you mad Cow disease as my final twisted revenge. Muhahahah!

Also, where I come from, Canada, there's more than one videogame rental chain, meaning we get a selection of stores that suffer bizarre failures to get games in. So nyah!

Nostalgia etcetera

Hey, long time reader first time writer.

The first reason behind sending this letter; is reading my own mail. Yeah I know, I got issues.

The other reason behind this; is taking FF. yeah sure a lot of people regard it as "a game for the masses" or "a long movie that involve a lot of button mashing". But I cant get myself to stop buying every new installment, or even finishing it. I did play –and finish- a lot of other RPGs but non I remember as nostalgic as the FFs –well I do actually, only one other, and that is 'the not so classic' morrowind- I wonder why?

He who type with nine fingers

Hey, from what I hear, Morrowind was a pretty good game, so don't feel too bad about the nostalgia. I find game nostalgia often has little to do with the game - for instance, though I played through Ocarina of Time just a month ago, I most strongly associate it with my friend from high school and his basement, where we wasted many hours playing N64 titles and Warcraft, as well as Ping Pong, at which I am terrible. Same with FFVI - I have a lot of fun memories from the eighth grade, and while FFVI is among them, I remember the year as much as anything when I get nostalgia for the game.


Yeah, Nintendo is a bunch of jerks. They are FORCING to me to buy the Nintendo DS (along with Mario DS, Madden DS, and Feel the Magic XX/XY), Viewtiful Joe 2, Metroid Prime 2, and Baten Kaitos. I really just don't understand why Nintendo is in last place in me, they just consistently have the best games around. There HAVE to be other people out there who don't give a damn about Halo 2.

Like me! Actually, I wouldn't object to it if it cost me no money to acquire, but I don't see what all the hype is about. Well, I do - Microsoft has clearly mobilized its PR arm to effect - but it still doesn't interest me very much.

Speaking of Baten Kaitos. Sites are giving it mixed reviews, some sharply criticizing the story for being extremely cliche and others are ignoring it altogether, instead raving over the card battle system. Do you think an RPG is worth playing for an engrossing story over a lame battle system (i.e. Xenosaga), or a great battle system over a lackluster plot (both Gamecube exclusive RPGs, Tales of Symphonia and now BK)? Why can't a game come along with BOTH? I think Disgaea was the last one I know of, but the story was too whacky.

Anyway, should I pick this thing up? Share your wisdom.

- Feep "Baten Kaitos is actually a dying star in some constellation somewhere."

A dying star? Have you been reading Eddings or something? Cuz I don't think BK is in danger of going up like a celluloid collar, though I suppose that's Vonnegut's term for the process. At any rate, I have my reservations about card battling, if only because I don't see the attraction at all, but then again, I enjoyed Triple Triad, so if it's something like that, you never know - it might be fun. As for story - well, come on... RPG stories are always a little cliche, so I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. As such, I say: rent, my good man! Rent! Then if you like it, go crazy with the spending and the buying and so forth. Actually, that's generally my advice to anyone who's doubtful over whether or not they want a game. The option is out there, so why NOT pay that extra five bucks to see if you actually like what you're getting yourself into? Think of it as remorse insurance.

I KNEW I remembered something like this

According to Nintendo Power Square Enix is planning a SD game for the DS my thoughts are is that it is a remake of SD3

Also according to your site there was a Seiken Densetsu game in the making that Square was hiring chaps to help with, I also haven't heard anything else about it but I'm assuming if the DS SD(Wow it's the same backwards or forwards) isn't a remake then it is probably the game that RPGamer said Square needed help on

I don't really have a question so uh yeah...

Old Stand by question: Doth thee like pie?
Arros Raikou

Yes, thank you. I remembered that story only vaguely last weekend, and a cursory search turned up nothing. Admittedly, I could have done more to look for it, but at that point, I was too busy wondering why on earth my column had been hijacked by lovelorn 12-year-olds to do anything other than curse under my breath, so I do apologize. Here is the story in question, at any rate, and yes, pie is awesome, especially when my grandma makes it.

There's such evil in the world...

Ok, first off, I just felt the need to apologize for the last email about "Final Reality"....That was just....wrong. Anywho, I've decided to make up for it by asking a REAL question, a knee-knocker, a head scratcher, a toe-tapper....

Who is it that you foresee taking over for Nobuo Uematsu as head composer for the future FF games? And do you see them doing the majority of the work, or will there be more than one? I've been a huge fan for Uematsu for awhile, and I'm anxious to see who takes the helm in the future.

Intifatidahitly Yours,

PS. Just so I can settle an oooooold debate between friends, which game was better, Legend of Legaia, or Legend of Dragoon? I can't either one to leave it alone.


Given its current strategy of mixing and matching composers, I'd say S-E will probably continue in that vein until they settle on someone who does a particularly good or memorable job. I don't think it'll ever be the same without Nobuo, but I'll learn to get by... somehow.

Having been able to finish Legend of Dragoon, I will vote in its favour, but only because LoL is the most detestable game in RPGdom, largely due to its asinine acronym.

Magic 8 Ball says: Unlikely at Best

Will the Nintendo DS be similar to the original Playstation in the sense that the Nintendo DS may sell more units than otherwise, solely due to people wanting to play the only official US version of Final Fantasy III, as was the case with Final Fantasy VII and the Playstation? And, were there any RPG's you particularly liked this year?

I doubt it, my friend. FFIII, while something that a lot of old-school gamers have been clamouring for for ages, is hardly the blockbuster-style operation FFVII was, although given Nintendo's awesome new ads making fun of anti-drug ads, which I think is long past due, given how ridiculous most anti-drug commercials are, maybe they can drum up some pretty good support.

As for RPGs that I liked this year, I am enjoying SH2 so far, but I really haven't bought many games in 2004, to be honest. I'm kinda poverty stricken.


So yeah... I hope to be able to provide my fantastic surprise before too long, but it will likely be delayed to next weekend on account of it's my sister's birthday tomorrow, and being the fabulous big brother I am, I have offered to take her to dinner and will thus be away from my Toronto computer, which I need to complete my delightful surprise. For tomorrow, at any rate, it will be your chance to: a) talk about this crazy Pocket Kingdom I keep hearing so much about, and b)theme songs in games. It seemed that in the absence of a big-name Square title, the tendency had slackened to some degree, but now they're back in force. I dunno... I'm just not sold on the need for a jazzy pop number at the end of games. Any thoughts? I WILL DEVOUR THEM WHOLE!
Andrew Long knows that he can't dance - at least he knows!



Actually, I can dance to some extent :P

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