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Wasabi Turkey

Andrew Long - November 27 '03- 03:43 Eastern Daylight-Savings Time

SO I HAD A BIG DISGUSTING INTRO all ready to go, before I decided that maybe I would be better served talking about something involving the grand tradition of Thanksgiving, seeing as how the greater portion of this site's readership is American and all. As such, let me dispel the following notion, as spread by Conan O'Brien: it is NOT St. Patrick's Day in Canada right now. St. Patrick's Day is March 17 the world over, and I know this because I went to a not particularly Irish pub named Blur and decided to fabricate a story about how I went to an Irish pub called "Paddy O'Pubby's" and got smashed on green beer. Actually, I did drink some Guiness, but because it's the worst ale known to man I couldn't even manage a lousy staggering drunkness, and was forced to settle for plain old drunk instead.

So in the spirit of that largely fabricated anecdote, I encourage you to be thankful and grow large with food and drink over this holiday weekend you get to celebrate, which makes me very bitter because I have to celebrate it by working and then wrangling with my evil greedy school and then my evil greedy government, which is rather unfestive, to say the least. Also, be glad that you have news networks like CNN: Headline News that report such vibrant and pertinent news as "No Thanksgiving Traffic Problems", which would maybe have qualified as news if only it hadn't run on Monday evening.

Still, I guess it was a refreshing break from the Michael Jackson tale of woe, so it could have been worse. Oh, and I may turn to the dark side as early as this weekend and by FFX-2. Stay tuned for details.



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I feel like playing Metroid
Perhaps I will
No column for you! AHAHAH..fine

It's andrew, and he's.. on topic?

Hey Andrew,

I don't like looking at many screenshots and stuff, I might look at a few battle screenshots, which I have, as well as few parts of what the gamelplay is like(which just came out today telling about how you get abilities now). The Front Mission series rules, except for the SNES version of Front Mission 2, which is a cheap Cybernator ripoff, but the PSX version of Front Mission 2 is good, because it's just like the original FM and FM3. Anyways, hopefully Squaresoft doesn't ruin this title, I think ruining three(and a half) Final Fantasy games are enough(FFX, FF7, FFTactics Advance, and FF8 sortof, as it has a good storyline, but horrible gameplay).

Well, time for me to start a new game on BoF5, and beat the game without having to restart.

-andrew- -kupomogli-

Hmm... You mock two of my top 3 FF's and you expect me to take your opinion seriously? I dunno man, this is giving me cause to worry about FM now. Still, as you will no doubt point out, we do like some of the same games, so maybe this situation will work itself out somehow and leave me with a giant bag of stuffing in the deal. Because if there's one thing you can never have enough of, it's giant bags of stuffing.

This letter didn't influence my desire to play MP at ALL

Hey Cast,

I got Metroid Prime the day it came out, but I only played a little of it... I just finished it and I'm amazed that I was even ABLE to give this game a rest. The phazon beam is the coolest thing ever, except the grappling beam. How did this unknown Texas game studio manage to create a perfect piece of gaming goodness?

Best. Movie. Ever. Game of Death! Bruce Lee vs. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! Well, maybe also 'The Crippled Masters', but that's old and crappy; it's hilarious. Seriously.

I can only imagine Nintendo employed some sort of goon tactics in order to ensure the marvellous completion of Metroid Prime. If I had to guess, I'd say some sort of death tigers were involved, poised outside each door in the development studios to ensure good behaviour. That would certainly explain those unsubstantiated tiger attack stories that came before this incident, although it does fail to take into account I'm clutching at straws here and am lucky that I even managed to get a tiger attack story based in Texas with all that Siegfried and Roy junk balling up Google. Still, it exists, and for that I thank the Internet in all its useful glory. I love you, baby. Without you there'd be no furries for people to snicker at, and the world needs laughter. And now, cue the furry indignation, despite the fact i didn't even say anything about furries in particular.

In other news, the best movie ever happens to be "Double Dragon in Last Duel", a Korean flick featuring such high watermarks as the "nylon stocking over camera to create illusion of night", "horribly edited giant leaps", the patented eye-to-thigh cut-shot, bizarrely incongruous parallel plotlines, and a generous serving of childish anti-Chinese racism. If you can ever find it, I strongly recommend it, although I doubt more than two copies were ever made.

Fantastic Update: With my adventurous foray into Buying it Now, I have secured a VHS copy and so, the galaxy is once again at peace. Of course, that might just be because I also have the last Metroid in captivity, but I figure the video at least factors in. Now, to fly off in the HOPES that none of you jokers will set off a distress beacon, cuz if you DO...


Yeah whatever....

So you wanted to know if anyone cared for Front Mission 4?
Well.... I care..... a lot :)

Hmmmmmmmmm.... Giant Mecha Tactical RPG ....... Nice

I really liked FM3, though the back of the case said over 150 hours i got it in 100 and a half, wich was still pretty much hours, I'm really hoping FM4 will have the same... or more! And then there will be a Front Mission Online, they better not be charching for that too. Or maybe they'll just charge you for Play Online, so I wil only have to pay for it once, and have FFXI and FM4 for just the Play Online price, that would be sweet.

Hmmmmmmmmm.... Giant Mecha Tactical RPG ....... Can't wait (but I must since I live in Holland, Europe)


Geez.. you say that like living in Holland is a bad thing. Anyhow, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're dreaming if you think FMO is going to be free. Hell, S-E charged for freaking Tetra Master, so if a lousy card game with low entertainment value can net them a buck a month from the poor pitiful characters who like to use time they could be spending justifying the $12.95 FFXI costs playing cards, then do you honestly think they won't charge at least $10 for FMO? Square Enix just didn't get to the top being generous.

Ooh! A dog! And he has a puffy tail! Heehehehehehe!

Hello Annne Drew,

I was somewhat conisidering whipping out my old Xenogears game to relive a contrived, often times illogical, and Matrixesse (meaning that it inserts superfulous symbolism for the sake of symbolism) plot, but then started thinking......

The Xenogears map seems to be the Final Fantasy 6 map repackaged. You start in a town, travel southwest into a desert town and viola!! ADD kicking in. Having trouble focusing...must concentrate...on Xenog...

Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper. What was I saying? Why am I here? Who am I? Woah, Power Rangers on TV.. See ya

Tad Ghostal

At least you made it through the forest... I got stuck, bored, and gave up before I even made it to that town. At least, assuming that cutscene I vaguely remember didn't occur on the first time I played through and made it out, only to die. Either way, Xenogears is bad medicine...

Tape-delayed Shroudie


I've come to a decision... I'm done with kidnapping the RPGamer staff. It just doesn't entertain me anymore. I'll have to think of some other way to crave my intense desire to commit crimes.. While my sister came home today for break, and she brought her 2 gerbils back. So for the next 3 weeks, I get to watch them. They can be hilarious. ^_^ I would've sent you pictures, but my digital camera is on the fritz. Maybe tomorrow? We'll soon see! Oh yeah, the voice acting for FFX-2 is awesome, Hedy Burress does a better job for Yuna this time around. (although, I did like her work in FFX..maybe that's just me?) I'm really losing my schemingness...maybe cause I've felt like crap this whole week.. Maybe on the IRC we'll come up with new plans and missions.

Keep on scheming,

O' Shrouded One

I don't know, I find this non-scheming version much easier to reply to, since reading it doesn't make me fear for my life. Even so, you are quite obviously lying. Yuna's voice actor is just terrible, kind of like all the dubbing on Double Dragon in Last Duel, the best movie EVAR. There's two DVD copies still on ebay if you don't believe me! However, I don't know if they have the hilarious John Wayne-soundalike dub that I got to enjoy, so pick em up at your own risk.

Why you shouldn't believe it's cancer the first time

Hi. I enjoy the Japanese language because of its inherent objectivity. Since it uses a syllabery and not an alphabet, each character has a distinct and unwavering sound that can *only* be pronounced one single authoritative way. There can't be any confusion about it!

That said, in the official art you guys posted, Ashe's name is composed of the following characters (from left to right): "A", vowel extender (looks like a long hyphen), "Shi", and a tiny "E". The first two characters create an extended "Ah" sound, and the last two (which sound like "shee" and "eh" independently) form the sound "sheh" or "shay" when combined. Thusly, her name is pronounced "Ah-sheh" or "Ah-shey", a broad "a" sound followed by a slightly muted long "a" sound.

Vividly aware of his probably annoying desire to inform others of how to best adhere to correct Japanese pronounciations (seeing as Japanese is one of the few languages with an objectively correct way to say things), -HarlockHero

Thanks for sharing, Harlock. My name is pronounced "Sega Genesis".

El Novelisto

Unlike many (most?) of your readership, I tend to be a PC and Tabletop RPGer over console. I just don't like the stories or gameplay of traditional console RPGs. I can read/watch better tales, and play games that to me are more fun. (YMMV of course.)

However, I love me a good tactical RPG, which is something the console systems seem to get a lot of, though many stay in Japan. (Super Robot Wars anyone?)

I like deep complex combat with troopers I get to level up over time and equip with all sorts of evil and cheesy bits of equipment and skills. Then take them into combat and pull off stunning strategies that just beat the opponent into submission.

Now, if there is one thing I love more than electronic gaming, it is giant robots. Going from the original Transformers on, nothing gives me the giddy giggles more than a multistory robot packing an assload of weapons. As a westerner, I tend to be in a minority niche when it comes to liking such things. In Asia giant robot love seems encoded into their DNA to some degree.

Front Mission is a game series that is a tactical strategy RPG with giant robots. Thus it is elementary that I would have a deep interest in it. And considering I loved Front Mission 3, it shows that I might possibly like the fourth installment, provided it gets a US release. Considering my favorite giant robot universe, Battletech (, has not had a tactical strategy RPG since 1989-90 even though the tabletop game system of Battletech IS a tactical strategy game with RPG elements, Front Mission 3 provided me with the Battletech game I have always wanted but Microsoft refuses to give me. (Though I am teaching people to play the tabletop Battletech game using the collectible Mechwarrior Dark Age miniatures since they both take place in the same universe albeit at different points in the same timeline. and the collectible miniatures are bigger, preassembled, and prepainted.)

Sure Mechwarrior 4, Mech Assault, and Mech Commander eased the pain, but Front Mission 3 was basically what I have wanted from a giant robot game in general, and Battletech in specific, since I first learned of RPGs and wargames back in 88.

Thankfully, Front Mission did things right, and gave those of us RPGers who vastly prefer a giant robot over some whiney teenaged ninny with a longsword something to chew on. A big old piece of dorky bucksteak we could sate our hunger on.

And considering the west will probably never get Super Robot Wars (too many liscenses to deal with and too many obscure Japanese robots for us silly english speaking folk I guess. Hell, even fan translaters seem more intent on retranslating Final Fantasy 4 for the umpteenth time than attempting to do this series..), or Sakura Wars (the dating sim bit is creepy, and I guess the steampunk bits scare Sega off from letting us have it.. then again, Sega doesn't sound like they will give us the Phantasy Star remakes either, which I consider a crime against humanity..), so we generally have to take what we can get...

Hell, its so bad, a group of gamers over the world have been translating Battletech into a Java game playable as either 1 off games or a persistent campaign and named it Megamek! (Check Sourceforge for more info.)

Thus to summarize: I like giant robots and tactical RPGs. There are not many giant robot tactical RPGs, and even fewer in English. Front Mission 4 is a giant robot tactical RPG. Thus I wants it, so it can be my precious, just like Front Mission 3, which was quite good.

Well, I'm not so sure SRT is worth it anyways; back in the day when I used to troll about for stories to fill out my newsie quota, there always seemed to be a Super Robot Taisen Eva Series G Silver Lite Patch Edition 2a going around, which made for nice filler but really, didn't appeal to me much. Still, I guess if you're a fan of giant robots, then it could qualify as a must-have.

Unfit for Print

Is there going to b a sequel for FF12


Hey Cast,

Although it's technically November 27th, it's still the 26th to me because I haven't gone to sleep yet, and I've been out partying all night and I'm extremely drunk and even though it means absolutely nothing to you since you're Canadian, I want to wish you and all the readers of a happy Thanksgiving, and GO OUT AND GET COMPLETELY DRUNK. Now go and shoot a turkey or something, PETA be damned. They suck anyway. GO KILL AN INNOCENT ANIMAL!!!!

BTW, it took me almost 7 minutes to type that paragraph.

Robust Stu
Gold Reviewer/Bad Ass MF/Swell Guy

Well everyone, what are you waiting for? GET SMASHED! On that note, can someone get me a scotch?

RPGamer does not condone the consumption of alcoholic beverages by minors, nor does it advocate irresponsible alcohol use. Please drink responsibly, and remember- if you drink, don't drive!

..What the HELL was that? For the love of Christmas, where's the damned booze at!?


Well, I guess you're all raring to go and eat some delicious turkey, so run along, poppets. Happy Thanksgiving, and to my Canadian brethren, happy St. Patrick's Day! AHAHAHAHA! Randomness tomorrow, everything will be printed. I need to clear out my inbox...
Andrew Long kind of wishes he had a Thanksgiving dinner to devour tomorrow, but will end up settling for nachos and cheese.



Why don't you call me, I feel like flyin' in two

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