R P G A M E R . C O M   -   A S K   A N D R E W   L O N G


Royale With Cheese

Andrew Long - October 30 '03- 03:02 Eastern Daylight-Savings Time

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT really funny that FOX tried to sue itself recently? I mean, I'm all for corporate miscommunication resulting in regrettable delays in shipping or port closures or giant energy shortages or Beyond the Beyond, but something tells me that FOX's priorities are slightly skewed when the most enduring property it has ever produced is harrassed by its most farcical. Why, in an ideal world, the cartoon would be farcical and the news ticker enduring, but instead we're left with sage wisdom like "George Bush Really Is All That And A Bag of Chips" and "Iraq Declared Gay".

Speaking of sage wisdom, there was plenty to be had in yesterday's column, but it seems nobody was willing to dig deep enough, choosing instead to declare the entirety of the proceedings "l33tsp33k" or something. Now I'm no l337 h4><0R, but it seems to me that talking like that involves a lot of randomly replaced letters, and yesterday was just badly typed.

Nevertheless, I guess I'll never try anything different again. I was just trying to inject some life into this place because it appears October has eaten both the souls of many of you, my valued readers, along with the rest of many of you, my valued readers. Seeing as how I'm not licensed to poke around in October's guts since the Calendar board took away my medical license after I botched February's facelift (you wouldn't believe the size of its nose!) I can only do the next best thing and try and shake things up in an effort to make it puke you back up into my waiting column space.

And now that we have today's disturbing analogy out of the way, let's get on with the flaming!

Well, actually I also failed to properly direct most of yesterday's mail, so it mostly ended up in Google's inbox, screeching impotently about how evil I am. All things considered, I'll count that as the last laugh. Well, at least until those people send more hatemail to rectify the situation. Then we shall see who emerges laughtorious.



This Month
Full Archives

About the Editor

Almost done my late night stretch
Disgaea is a sleep disaster
Maybe thus the name is coined?
Hmm, I need another caster

A fluffy sampling of the complaints resting on a soft bed of rice, smothered in petulance

Holy baby jesus, what the hell happened to the Q&A column? Here I am heading over to rpgamer for a quick look at the daily list of questions and I'm confronted with that?

My eyes began to bleed and my sphincter tied itself into a knot. Whomever let mr. aolhax0r within 10 feet of any keyboard has done a great disservice to humanity indeed.

I hope that this was all a sick and twisted joke. I will now attempt to damage the memory centers of my brain by jamming a ballpoint pen up my nose. Once I have forgotten about this day's Q&A column I hope no one shall ever speak of it again.


RPGamer cannot be held responsible for any brain injuries incurred through improper usage of pens brought on by poorly constructed sentences. Consider yourself warned.

On the dessert menu:

It's one thing to do the l33t type counter strike crap for an opening for the letter section, another to to it for the entire post. Don't do that again, or allow it to happen. Please.

Hmm, I was all set to apologize to you until I remembered something: this is MY column. I don't make a big issue of that fact, but it's true, and if I want to try something out, I'll try something out. If you don't want to come along for the ride, then get off at Pickering and jump in a cooling pond. I hear heavy water makes your complaints slide away (along with your eyeballs, but since I broke those yesterday they're pretty worthless anyhow).

Nintendo Power > EGM nyah

I have a question, that I am sure already has been answered. I have been playing RPG's ever since Sega and Nintendo, and from there made the leap to Playstation. I have never played a computer RPG. Over the years I have always heard of bugs and glitches, along with the occasional patch brought up when talking about computer RPG's. Over the past year I have been exploring the idea to get the Microsoft X-Box even though of hearing the same problems occur with the X-Box that computer RPG's are known for.

Well, I figured that the console(X-Box) would be able to overcome this discrepency and figured I would would buy it once a RPG, that I had to play, was out. That RPG was KOTOR.

After going through the game and fighting bugs, loading time, and the pitiful ending that was about 3 minutes long, both ways, I came to the conclusion that American gaming SUCKS.

Since I am use to the quality game play of Japanese gaming and never being exposed to bugs, ect... I figured I cannot truly say that American gaming SUCKS because I have only been exposed to nasty rumors, and this only occurance.

My question is WHY? How come there is such a huge gap? Is it because America is using a different system of creating games, or are they on the same level as the Japanese but choose to go against what works? Are Microsoft and the rest of the companies that make these games just pushing out a product to hurry and make a profit, or do they just not care? Or is it simply American gaming is Inferior to the Japanese market?


American gaming doesn't suck - American RPGaming, for the most part, does. Actually, even that's not entirely true - you've been raised on a steady diet of big-haired kids with bigger swords and problems with autism and their glassy-eyed, big-breasted sidekicks, and American RPGs either go the pitiful medieval "choose a direction" - style RPGs or else try for something with an actual story like, say, Fallout. By and large, LucasArts has managed to turn out decent products, so it's hardly fair to condemn an entire continent based upon a single allegedly lousy game.

At any rate, American gaming is not inferior - you just don't get to see the mound after mound of steaming poo produced by the Japanese gaming industry each and every year. That handy ocean that kept the Incas without wheels and oppression for a few centuries is also a fantastic buffer against all sorts of trash, like hentai games, cheap anime knockoffs, generic tripe, and all the other junk that American developers make and you avoid like plague hereabouts. Granted, because the Japanese gaming industry is larger there's a greater percentage chance of good games coming out of Japan, but that just means there's that many more awful games that the good ones had to claw their way over to achieve prominence.

So yes, the American MARKET is inferior to Japan's, but its products are not necessarily so.

Muhaha... I just love ar-bitin' the spendation of dollars.. or something

Hi there, I'm just a bored college student staying up later than he should, and for whatever reason, I clicked on the staff bios. I was looking over everyone's favorite games, and the majority of them were older games (Playstation 1 and earlier).

Now, at age 23, I've been playing games religously since the days of the Atari 2600. I also co-founded the videogame club up here at the University of Massachusetts (in Amherst). So, I know my games fairly well. However, I can't go back and have a good time playing these older games anymore. For example, there is no way I can play Super Metroid anymore after playing Metroid Prime. There's no way I can go back and play Final Fantasy IV (I was never a fan of VI), after playing Final Fantasy X. They just feel too outdated for me. It's much more fun for me to find the Chozo artifacts in 3d, and I really don't want to sit through all the campy dialogue and plot twists in Final Fantasy 4 again when I can have the much more mature storyline of Final Fantasy 10 (just to name a few examples).

Now, games like Final Fantasy IV, Super Metroid, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana, ect. are ALL classics. I will never argue that point. But for me, these games just aren't that fun for me to play anymore. So my question is this:

When people say what their favortie games are, do they base that on how they remember them, or can they take them out today and still have fun with them? Do none of the new games stack up to these classics? Am I alone in liking the next generation of games better than the old ones? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the subject. Thanks for reading!


Good games are good games and it doesn't matter if they're new or old. I have played and enjoyed both Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy X in the past year, and ditto Super Metroid and Metroid Prime. I will cheerfully burn through The Legend of Zelda right before I play Wind Waker, and have no compunction about playing Mario 2 over Mario Sunshine (which isn't surprising since I'm not a big fan of the latter.) When people list their favorite games, it's just that there's a certain emotional attachment to those titles - I've certainly spent a lot more time playing FFVI than I have FFIX, and Super Metroid is just so brilliantly laid out that no other game can compare to it. This isn't to say that I don't have nostalgia for Metroid Prime, because I do - but in my opinion, the gameplay in Metroid Prime is not quite as compelling as that of Super Metroid, and so I would certainly list the latter before the former on a list of favorites.

And come on now... Chozo? I could crap a better story out on a steady diet of cheese and sap. Action games don't need justification, and I kind of wish developers would stop trying to provide them since they end up being half-assed most of the time.

I just saved hundreds of dollars by switching to GEICO!

-- Hall of Fame Announcer Harry Carey

Well, since you weren't on that top ten richest dead people list, I guess that's a good thing, because if the Egyptian concept of the afterlife somehow turns out to be true, you'll need those hundreds.


So anyway, now that I have my mailto links all nice and in order, I hope we can have at least one nice column this week. Rudy will be along tomorrow, so be sure to send him letters. Oh, and if you're on FFXI, apparently his account name is Jennifer for some reason.

In other news, it's also Halloween tomorrow, so tell me... What's your least favorite type of Halloween candy? Also, since Halloween has all that delightfully dark and creepy stuff going for it, what do you think of the new Diablo patch? Is it going to get you playing again? I'm curious to check it out, and it is almost time for another keep-the-account-active Diablo glut.
Andrew Long hopes his Assassin still has all her Lucky Charms, because there's gonna be some pain in the future of that stupid leprechaun otherwise.



Silly rabbit... Trix are for kids!

The Mark of tuinte
© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy