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ASK ANDREW
Now, Bear My Arctic Blasssst! August 15, 2005

Andrew Long - 1:51 EST

YESTERDAY'S COLUMN WAS UNFORTUNATELY CANCELLED on account of my plans for it were declared mildly libelous - after I'd finished compiling it. So yeah, if you're an intrepid sort, you just might be able to find it, but alas, I cannot put a link to it anywhere. In any event, I try not to propogate ytmnd dealies, but... enjoy!




L E T T E R S
The correction wheel keeps on turnin'


In yesterday's column, Jamey said "This is the first time in gaming history (that I know of) that an RPG is re-made."

I can think of several examples of re-made RPGs, starting with some Dragon Quest/Warrior titles and continuing with Final Fantasy I/II and Lunar I/II... although exactly how much of a re-make the Lunar titles were is up for argument.

--
Powerlord


ANDREW


Yes, I'm not quite sure what Jamey was thinking, and lord knows I wasn't paying enough attention to correct him, so let's all throw rocks at him! I CALL JAGGED PUCE!


Laziness bites me in the ass, literally


Oh, god no. It should be: "Dos Aņos, Mis Amigos!" There's a biiiiig difference between "Dos Aņos" and "Dos Anos" The latter means having "two anuses" BWAHAHAHA!! So, spruce up on your Spanish, and if you need this letter: "ņ" Just Alt+0241 Ahahaha! You made my morning, what a laugh!

ANDREW

Bleh. Before you get too much enjoyment at my expense, let the record show that I was well aware of the accent; I just wasn't interested in hunting down the HTML code for it, and chose to take my chances. On the downside, I was blissfully unaware of the change in meaning such shiftlessness engendered, so yeah... Ouch.



CONSUMERISM OWNS YOUR SOUL... YOU CANNOT DENY IT


Hi there.

I've got a Gamecube and many RPGs for it. I was wondering, should I wait for a next gen console or go out and buy a PS2?

Thanks,
Jack Dietz


ANDREW

Sure. In addition to being just about as cheap as it'll ever be, the PS2 has at least 10 decent RPGs that justify your purchase, so much as I always complain about Sony ruining gaming in general, its console does have an adequate number of RPGs to make my claims premature, or at least crackpot and rambling.

...Wait a sec! You're an impostor! Everyone knows there's no such thing as "many RPGs for [the Gamecube]"! I'll just pull off this mask and see who you REALLY are!

MR. BURNSIDE
Curses! And my scheme to turn this amusement park into a death bomb would have worked too, if it hadn't been for you crazy kids!


The worst thing ever


Dear Q&A Slave

My mother always said playing pokemon for too long was bad for me and wel.... http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/54387.cfm
ANDREW

How is it that this is the first I've heard of this, and why is it so awful? I can only hope the Japanese guy was wishing death on the main author every time one of those lamentable puns appeared in the writeup, because otherwise they both deserve to be afflicted by their discovery. Not that I would ever wish such a thing on anyone, of course...

Now for a question....

What's you're take on NIS gaining almost instant popularity in the states? While i have never played Disgaea i do own several other NIS games and found them no more spectacular (aside from the one liner jokes found in all the games) than other strategy RPG's that came before it. Was it the humor and the consistant yet old game play that brought them fame and somewhat fortune or is it something else?

[?Bah what a rant, enjoy or delete at your discression.
Thanks, Supershavin.


ANDREW

I think what brought them fame was the fact that Disgaea was perfectly timed. When it was released, its only competition was Ogre Battle, and at that point there hadn't been a new OB since TO:KoL. Moreover, there was a fairly sizeable lull in the release calendar at that time, and NIS was thus able to steal the spotlight. You also shouldn't overlook the influence of this site; not only did we hype Disgaea mercilessly, we continue to do so to this day, because Disgaea is awesome. All that said, the gameplay and awesome humour didn't hurt. It's true, though, that neither Makai Kingdom nor Phantom Brave have quite lived up to Disgaea; that said, I am quite enjoying PB, and it is by no means a bad game, even if most people find it a poor match for Disgaea.



Squoingy, Squoingy!


Okay, call me skeptical, but I don't think there's any hope for the new upcoming Gamecube Zelda. Way back when, we got the masterpiece that is Ocarina of Time. And all the Zelda fans rejoiced. Then we got Majora's Mask. And all the Zelda fans boo'ed. Sure, it had some redeeming qualities, but it wasn't anywhere near as good as OoT. Then we got Windwaker. Some rejoiced...but most boo'ed. The game is barely tolerable.

So what does this mean for the next Zelda? My hopes aren't high. I think the franchise should just head back to the glory of its 2-d'ish (jumping kind of adds a third dimension) predecessors. There hasn't been a bad one yet. Minish Cap was the best Zelda game since OoT.

So...is there any hope for the next Zelda?

an RPGfan


ANDREW

Crazy talk, you are spouting. Majora's Mask is plenty entertaining, it's just maddeningly difficult. I haven't beaten it yet, in fact, because of its difficulty, and it's actually something different, which isn't something you see very much where Zelda titles are concerned, probably due to the carping that accompanies such departures. As for a return to 2D, well, big-name series simply can't do that with their main entries; 3D is expected, and kids these days just don't have the patience for such things, by and large. It's a pity, granted, but then again, games aren't immediately bad just because they're 3D.





C L O S I N G
IN CONCLUSION:

Apologies for the shortness. Tomorrow should be better. Let us speak of many things; the topic is all yours, and I expect lots to talk about.

castomel@rpgamer.com
Andrew Long has an itchy eye.


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