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I'm Bored... Entertain Me!

Andrew Long - July 11, 2004 13:55 EDT

IT IS A SAD, SAD thing indeed when I need to skip a day just to accumulate enough letters to produce a reasonable column, but that's where we find ourselves. Hopefully, this sort of thing can be avoided in the future, though, because I really don't like missing days.

So anyway, I had this crazy dream last night that I was playing Final Fantasy XII, and for some reason it was ridiculously easy and sucktastic. I can only hope that this isn't a chilling portent of things to come, because my last Final Fantasy-based dream came about a decade ago, when I dreamed up this SNES Final Fantasy which involved space and a bunch of sand and desert monsters, which now that I think about it probably had something to do with me reading Dune at the time and anyway, doesn't really have much to do with anything. Anyhow, my latest dream became entangled with Supersize Me at the end, leading me to believe that I didn't eat enough at dinner last night, which could be twisted around to become the whole point of this pointless story.

To wit, then: grumble, grumble.



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These are a few of my randomest things

Toriyama, DW8... Same difference, I suppose

If there's one character designer in the world who's designs I wouldn't mind being cell shaded it's Akira Toriyama. As for anything else... ... only time will tell. I just hope this one has a plot.

(the Ff does not stand for Final Fantasy, the poor lost cause that it is)

I suppose I should have been on the lookout for anti-FF elitism, since I did ask for DW letters, but I still find it funny that people feel the need to take cheap shots at one series in order to make themselves feel better about another. Then again, I guess FFF did complain about the plot, or lack thereof, in DW7, so maybe he just hates everything... Like kupomogli!

At any rate, yes. The cel-shaded goodness of the screens we've seen so far does do a nice job of disguising some of the less-than-magnificent stuff I spied in the background of one or two shots, so Toriyama may yet save this game from following its most recent predecessor into the deep, dark forest of Looks Like Ass.

Gee, I never would have guessed from my HORRIBLY EMPTY INBOX YESTERDAY

::A creamiscle draws near. Command?::

Casttsac! We missed you!

Ah, Dragon Warrior VIII... how I have longed to see that beautiful sequel... How long has it been since DW7 took my heart? *Swoon* The information may be scant now, but I long await its release in January... wait, no American release!? Foreign devils... GWAHHHH!!! Why must you show us a glimpse of paradice, only to snatch it away and laugh at us non-oriental types... fie! FIE UPON THEM!


The quote... Secret of Evermore? Just a guess, since it's the only RPG off the top of my head with a "beloved dog".

Well, you got the developer right, but I'm afraid the division, platform, and series are all wrong. Try again!

Oh, and Lizzy honey, normally it's not polite to treat other gamers as if you were Jane Goodall. On the other hand, your story was both amusing and inspiring... so let's get out there, Male Teen Gamers, and introduce the fairer sex to our Glowing Screens of Happiness! Andale!

...Wait, I'm twenty years old, so I'm not a teen. D'oh!

"Yea man, I'm gonna gnaw off your face" -Teh C.

Relax, Neo! As Male Gamers, we can continue to act like children for another decade or two and nobody will mind very much! Of course, it will hamper little things like getting a girlfriend and a job, but that hasn't stopped me for the past twelve years, so why should it start now?

Oh, I'm so desperately lonely ;_;

Ooh, demand!

Just wondering if you knew where I could find Days 1-38 of The Lizards Male Teen Species log? It's probably one of the most entertaining things I've seen in the Q&A column in a long time...

Sadly, Lizzie has yet to bestow them upon me, but I'm sure if we ask real nice, she'll be happy to oblige. Well, I hope she will, at any rate. To that end: hey, Lizzie, wanna bestow days 1-38 upon us? I'll ask real nice!

Summer summer summer

Castowed, Well, so far summer is going by quite quickly. Nowadays, work takes off quite a bit of my time due to business and events. Reliving the greatness of CT really takes me back to the days of yore when things were quite simpler in terms of madness and excitement. So I've got to admit, those DQVIII screens do look delicious. Tripping the light fantastic, one might say, but then again, one may also be drunk. It's a double-edged sword, my friend. The FF influences may just add to the greatness, or lead you into the clutches of wanting to play another FF title. Now for an interesting twist... Canada is the land of the free that supplies the world with great booze, cheap perscription drugs, and sexy Q&A hosts! We've had the discussion before about this, and concluded that certain artists should nevar have came into existance, but what good Canadian bands/artists do you suggest are worth listening to? Go ahead, tease me!

Nevar give in, show that sexiness!!!,

O' Shrouded One

A number of my fellow Canadians would highly recommend the Tragically Hip to you, but I would then turn around and stab that number in the face, since I can't stand said band. I do, however, quite enjoy the musical stylings of Sam Roberts, as well as any number of little independent outfits that tend to form and then unform at a moment's notice. Being primarily a fan of electronic music, however, the term "artist" doesn't generally apply quite as well as it could, so aside from the ever-provincial Manitoba, I can't really offer much in the way of recommendation there.

Boingy, boingy!

Cast-o-mel crunch,

I couldn't remember who I last let borrow my Final Fantasy VII game, so I went and bought a used copy from game stop at the mall. The first two disks look like my original ones (the white top), but the third disk is silver (the white is missing, but the text looks normal). Do you know if the third disk came from like the "greatest hits" version or something or if it will cause problems down the line?


Why yes, the third disc did in fact come from the greatest hits collection, which I know because that's the version of FFVII I own. You see, I never did get around to picking up a PSX until late 1998, at which point I had just enough money to blow on one game. I saw FFVII hanging on the shelf like the ripe, juicy plum it so clearly was, but instead of picking it up like any sensible person would, I opted for FFT instead, as was the style at the time (actually, I'd just played through half of FFVII while borrowing it that summer, and figured I could just borrow it again to finish it. As she turns out, I ended up buying the PC version to do that, but hey, we all make dumb mistakes from time to time, right?)

Naughty, naughty...

I hope you can help me!!!!

this question is for a very old game called Ys IV Dawn of the Ys....... I have been using the walkthrough that your site provides for this game but I am stuck and I dont know Japanese.

Here is where I am........ The boy Timmy has turned to stone......I got the flower......talked to Dr.Flair........ we warped to the first town.......I know I am supposed to get on the ship and go back to Esteria but the guy on the ship wont let me on board....what do I do???

I would appreciate if you could help me...... I am utterly frustrated at this point.... lol

All I can think of is that maybe you didn't wait for Dr. Flair to finish making the Elixir, which you need to do before you can leave town. If you haven't tried this already, wander around, enter random houses, and paw through people's valuables for a while, taking the opportunity to upgrade your equipment if it arises. If it doesn't, I don't really know what to say - you should be able to get out of town once you have that Elixir.

Oh yeah, and if everyone wants to know,
I'm getting Tales of Symphonia since I haven't seen anyone mention the fact that they might be getting it. And games I don't care about, are Paper Mario 2, and anything with the name Zelda in any part of the title.
(And Dungeon Siege 2 because I really don't know what the hell that is to begin with.)
-andrew- -kupomogli-

I doubt they do, but I needed to fill some space, so here's hoping!


How about that! My friend just had her purse, and therefore wallet, stolen! It's official, folks: there's a wallet thief on the loose, and nobody's credit cards are safe. I recommend sending your credit card numbers to me for safekeeping just in case this nefarious villain strikes you!


Well, either I'm coming up with seriously boring topics, or you guys just don't care about writing in anymore. Since my towering ego refuses to accept the second option, we'll go with the first and try and spice things up with a little talk about... action RPGs and RPGs. This is a little related to our recent discussion on shorter RPGs vs longer RPGs, but I find myself enjoying action RPGs more these days, partially because they're usually shorter, but partially because player involvement is greater. What are your thoughts? Will you die before touching an A-RPG? Do you think A-RPG is a sham definition that should be discarded in favour of just calling them action games? Do you love T-RPGs and spit in the face of both other types? Do you just like spitting in people's faces? If so, you could be a guest on our program, but remember, all your troubles must be strictly creamsicle-related to qualify! Act now or face disappointment!
Andrew Long can get with this, or he can get with that.



But, as all the lawyers say, this is kind of wack!

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