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May 13, 2007

Andrew Long - 13:28 EDT

I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN COMPLETELY to do a column yesterday. To help explain this problem, it might be useful to point out that I've been working miserable night shifts at the ol' sugar caves for my insect overlords, and my sugary confections were in high demand these past few days. So my concerns were more in the area of actually getting enough sleep to not die than writing this column, which is clearly out of line, so for that I apologize.

Either way, we still have today, and that rhymes and you know it does! So let's roll!

Wait what? Oh Paine, if only you knew how badly this letter cracked me up

Hello Matt or Andrew it is me Paine.

i am writing as i am very disappointed in square-enix. they decided to destroy final fantasy IV vby making it look like crap in my opinon. also there milking the cash cow. whats your opinion on this game coming out?

No. You do not do this. Do not get. Not the person who, for the past three years, has written in on a near-daily basis to beseech me to reveal my hard-won and secret knowledge of all things S-E remakes. Sorry, my dear, but you just got exactly what you wanted, and you don't get to bitch about it just because you don't like the look of Cecil's armour. So stay with me here; the day this thing is released, you're going to go to the store, you're going to buy it, and you're going to like it, because it's exactly what you've wanted for all these stinking years and maybe once you start playing it you will finally leave me alone.

my therory is if they was going to remake for the ds or make a new game outta it why not start with final fantasy 1 and work there way down. whats your thoughts on it? why did they have to do IV first after III? why not 1 then 2 and so forth?

Gee, I wonder why that could be. Have you looked at the GBA, PSX, PSP, or WSC lately? If so, have you perhaps noticed that S-E has remade FF1&2 for each and every one of those? Or that the GBA version can easily be played on the DS? I... I... ugh. Sorry Paine, but you're breaking my brain here.

is square going to be making any new games?


whats next at this square party? remakes of V and VI witch i just finished IV and II finallay and working on I,V,VI then III i mean how many remakes are they going to make? is it classified as a remake and not a new game right? i mean as you and andy know i wanted secret of mana ported to the gba as well as chronotrigger but the gba is dead and i except it.

Don't call me Andy, you she-demon doppleganger!

my other question is what will happen when final fantasy 1 and 2 is released for the psp? will they decided to try to give the III a remake on the psp or make IV and chronotrigger as chronicles on the psp then do anthology with V and VI on the psp? it seems square doesnt want to make new games anymore but remake the old ones to milk the cash cow. my partner said there remaking games because they want the newer generation to play em instead of the snes graphics. whats your thoughts?

Seems like a reasonable notion.

he also said the reason 1 and 2 wasnt remade for the ds is because 1 and 2 was on the gba well if thats the case 4 shouldnt be remade either. 4 is my favorite game but they looked like they destroyed it in the graphics department. let me know your opinions. i am tired of reading of square milking the cash cow on remakes i want new games. by the time i beat VI advance there will be news on IV,V and VI for the psp witch will not be good. then VII-X-2 for the PS3 anyways share your thoughts on it.



My opinion? Who gives a damn, S-E is gonna do whatever they want with or without my approval, so screw 'em. I'll buy the remakes because I'm pathetic, but I don't have to like that I'm going to enjoy them.

MMO randomblings from our resident MMORPGamer columnist

Hello Andrew,

Content control for licenced MMOs is a must for me, hence why I usually try to avoid them.

I was a huge Star Wars Galaxies fan, back when it was released. SOE seemed to be doing a good job controlling content and player interaction with lore and key characters as well as lesser characters in the Star wars cannon. For all of its ineherent flaws, it was like controlling someone in the Star Wars Universe.

Then Jedi came along.

At first, playing a Jedi was to be for the elite of the elite, and the emphasis was on keeping hidden (as you would become KOS to everybody if you showed off any force abilities) and keeping safe (as Jedi were supposed to be permadeath characters). Those three things would serve to keep the Jedi population on the server really low, or keep them out of sight, and so I didn't have too much of an issue with it, as it wouldn't crush the feeling of playing Star Wars. Then, the dev team reneged on permadeath and KOS, making it much easier to play and maintain a Jedi character, which had the ones that were unlocked showing off.

"Oh well," I thought, "They're still pretty difficult to get." That lasted a few months. After the hologrind, development put in a new system of unlocking Jedi which, though taking more time, was just as easy as the first. Jedi were popping up everywhere. During the arc of the story that the game takes place, there are extremely few Jedi in the Galaxy. Seeing them everywhere about ruined the game for me.

Then, NGE happened, and struck the final blow. Jedi became a selectable class from the beginning of the game. That, along with the fact that development had completely ruined gameplay, caused me to quit and never look back.

It's a tightrope. You've got this great license and all of this wonderful content that people want to experience, but one of the very values of the content is that some of it is inaccessible. Nobody would have thought Luke Skywalker was a hero for becoming a Jedi and aiding in the downfall of the Empire (SPOILERS!) if, in the movies and books, there were 7,000 Jedi running around screaming, "WHAR @ BUY LITESABUR LOL." The balancing act between giving gamers what they want and being true to your world can be tough, especially where lots and lots of money is involved, but I'm of the opinion that playing a game based on a pre-existing property should automatically place you into the "What I want as a gamer is to experience this world as it is" category.

LotRO, though, seems to be doing a good job so far. Things like the fact that players cannot be a Wizard but there is a class to supplant the caster role show that they've got a good mind for keeping content under control. It also helps that they have the operating body for Tolkein's estate breathing down its necks. I find the naming policy wonderful (Attempting to name a Beta Hobbit "Dildo" came back negative ;)), and, frankly, think that the issue of whether or not to include marriage in the game is moot. So many other MMOs don't include a marriage system that it's no surprise that LotRO doesn't have one. But, as time goes on and player retention and money become factors, we'll see.



Yeah. I remember reading about SWG back when it was new, and the idea of there being only a few Jedi was quite appealing to me, just because most MMOs do tend to have a zillion of every class. I do recall the progression you've detailed here though, and by the time it hit the end I knew things had probably turned to crap. You can't really blame the developers, though; being a Jedi was the one thing that was a big draw to the game, and in the face of churn, what group of bottom-line-fearing individuals wouldn't alter their game by emphasizing the most marketable aspect? Sadly, that aspect doesn't stay appealing very long when everyone can have access to it, and so in the end, it's not surprising SWG has met the fate it has. Then again, with the giant elephant that is WoW, the demise or decline of most MMOs is hardly surprising.

As to the naming scheme in LotRO, I quite agree; there is nothing so irritating as playing an MMO with someone named something like Timbalake394 or Pwnage1337n3$$.

Why can't you people just lap this slop up like the ravening animals you are? I know I'm going to!


I hear the news about FFIV being remade and it makes me shake my head. I have to agree with your argument—this is ridiculous for them to be re-releasing something that they JUST ported (and added bonus goodies onto no less.) That is, unless there’s going to be a 3rd version of the DS that just plays DS games and nothing else.

On another note…I just found this piece of interesting news (please excuse the fact that it’s a link to the Girl Gamers Livejournal community—when I found it you guys hadn’t put any info on the site about it yet) that Square Enix is going to release a game called Final Fantasy Dissidia…which is a fighter! The scan shows a “Warrior of Light” from FFI and Zidane from FFIX. It’s been done before (Ergheiz? I know I’m spelling that horribly wrong,) right?

Why am I longing for the days of another sequel to FFVII?


Well, first, you kind of lost me with that "3rd version" business; I have absolutely no idea what you mean ^^;; As to Dissidia, yes, Ehrgeiz was indeed a fighter of sorts, but from what I understand, Dissidia is going to be in the vein of SSB:M, and with the potential for online play I find it highly likely that the awesomeness factor will be a significant jump from that of Ehrgeiz. Then again, we haven't seen much information on this game yet, so I'm not going to get too excited until we see some screenshots. Also, sorry, we ain't covering this. I think.

Reality bites

Hey Matt!

The other day I bought Tales of Legendia at my local K-Mart when they put it in the bargin bin. I was waiting for that to happen for a while since I have been meaning to pick it up for a cheap price due to its reputation among many of the fans of the Tales series.

I have to say from the ammount that I played, I think it is pretty good! Sure the graphics look like crap (It looked like a direct port of a PS1 game!), but it still has the colorful characters and fast paced battles that the series is known for. I also think that the music is quite possibly some of the best I have heard in a long time for an RPG due to the direction they chose for it (It doesn't sound anything like the other Tales games at all!). I do miss the 3D environments of Symphonia and Abyss, but the 2D fights are reminiscent of the old 16-bit and PS1 titles, so it does have some nostalgia around it.

I still don't get why people had such a negative reaction to this game. It's pretty cool and I feel that some of the fans out there were expecting something like Symphonia, and instead got something that harkened back to the older games. If you don't expect too much from this game, it turns out to be pretty entertaining. It's cheap now, so there really isn't anything preventing people from giving it a shot.


"I'm gonna Overlord your face off!"


Thanks for sharing, Witecat. As I have absolutely nothing to say about Legendia one way or another, please enjoy this unphotoshopped photo of a devil cat.


Once again, sorry for spacing out on yesterday. For tomorrow, as I am too tired to come up with a proper topic, I declare a free topic day! Of course, you're still welcome to continue slagging S-E, I'll never get tired of discussing their crapulence!

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