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April 16th, 2007

Andrew Long - 22:58 EDT

MY CAT IS very, very pregnant. The last time this was the case, she kind of brained her offspring, so I'm hoping that this litter will be slightly more successful. Either way, all she does is flop around like some sort of miniature whale. Now, I know we're not here to talk about my cat, so let's carry on, yes?

I owe you nothing

Andrew or Matt or guest-host,

Since you specifically asked for mail about Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, which is one of my favorite games of the era, I'll have to chime in!

I've always found it unusual that Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest gets so much flak because, in just about every way, it's a brilliant game that was perhaps just too far ahead of its time for its own good. RPG gamers like to trash it because it lacked things like random battles, complicated customization schemes, obtuse menus full of lists populated by small and hard-to-read text, and all the other things that we associated with console RPGs of the time. And, apparently, nobody else bothered to play it, so nobody recognized it for its merits. SNIP!

As a side note, I think that Ted Woolsey's role in FF:MQ is pretty interesting. I listened to an interview with Ted Woolsey about FF:MQ. Being one of the only Americans working for Squaresoft at the time, he was brought in to have a pretty heavy involvement with the direction of the game, and he also wrote the entire story. Maybe Final Fantasy fanboys would like the game more if they knew that the mastermind of FF6's localization had been involved? He complained that the 4 megabit cartridge (which translates to something like .9 MB I think?) gave him almost no room for dialogue, and that the game would have fit on a Game Boy cart! If FF:MQ had been a Game Boy game instead of an SNES game, we'd probably look back at it as the best portable game of the 90s. Regards, Brandon Abley PS! My letter probably hugely exceeds the letter limit, but I have a lot to say AND I think I deserve at least as many exceptions to the rule as JuMeSyn has been offered.


I'm sorry to cut you short when you're in such splendid high dudgeon, but I'm afraid you've sent this letter to the wrong section. What you have there is a review, assuming you take out most of the "omg you're WRONG" and ratchet down the outrage a smidgen. Listen. I said I enjoyed the game. I still don't think it's a good game, I will never think it's a good game, and good level design is more than just annoying puzzles, which I happen to find to be pure gaming death. It's why I dislike Camelot games so much. All in all, while I guess simplicity is a virtue to some, I do not count myself among them.

As to the involvement of Woolsey, while he's certainly coined some doozies in his time, his involvement by no means entices me to go back and rethink my opinion. So what I suggest to you is, take your indignation and send it to Roku; he's always up for more content!

Round 2: FIGHT

Hi Andrew!

I was wondering which RPG battle was the closest call for you. There are plenty of candidates, many bosses I figured I'm about to die and just tried another attack anyway instead of healing and I won. However, there's one epic battle that rises above all. One legendary story which will be told for all eternity. It is the story of... Cait Sith and Don Corneo's pet!

It was a dark stormy night and perhaps my fourth playthrough of FFVII... As was my habit by that point, for each time playing I used a different party. This time, it was the turn for Cait Sith and Vincent. As I was slaughtering monsters in the holy mountains of Wutai, I happened across "The Don". Not fearing for a second this vile pest, I gladly engaged in battle, anticipating the beast's hasty defeat!

The time came for Vincent's limit break and he began assaulting without mercy. Soon after came Cait Sith's limit break... I initiated it and, to my horror, the deadly combination appeared. The horrifying "Death Joker". For those of you who have not heard of the monstrosity, it signifies instant annihilation to the entire party, dooming the entire world with it.

But I did not falter! For I have not pressed "O" to confirm the attack. Oh yes, my children, then it was the O to execute, not the X. And so, the air thick enough to cut with a knife, I watched as Vincent continued to pummel the winged thing, unable to change characters, unable to cancel my actions, their numbers yellowing until finally! Victory. I will never forget that day and neither will the cursed Cait Sith, forever confined to the party switch menu.

So that's me, what about you?

Zohar Gilboa


Ah yes. I take you back to 1999. It was a miserable winter, and I had breezed through FFVIII in an ungodly 65+ hours. I managed to defeat each of the end bosses with a fair degree of ease, except for the second last, which downed Irvine, who happened to be my second-most buffed character. This brought me to Ultimecia with Squall, Zell, and Rinoa, and Rinoa was about 20 levels lower than the other two. What followed was a most unpleasant 40-minute battle. Ulty had me down to one repeatedly, but I turned Quistis into a Life-station, while I concentrated on Auraing Squall and Zell into the dirt. I also drew some Pandemonium and in the end, I barely scraped by; two characters were down and Squall was under 1000 HP. Funnily enough, I tried subsequently to replay the battle and lost every time!

Yes, well... I don't have the HTML handy for quickies atm :(

Two things we need more of? Quickies and overworlds. It will be a sad sad day when they no longer exist.


I cannot agree more! I'll have to see what I can do about that.

The Matter Of The Spoony Bardcaller

Tellah being useless? Okay, did you cast Lit 3/Thunderga on Cagnzazzo the Water Fiend with our little Q-tip friend? I guarantee you the results are nothing short of spectacular. Bye bye boss.
- Bucket


Hey, I know that! I always used Tellah to effect, since FFIV was the first game to involve an Osmosesque spell. That's right, FFXII... I said Osmose. What you gonna do about it? Syphon me? Oooh, I'm ever so frightened! That's RIGHT.


I regret the shortness here, but it seems nobody liked my topics, or else you just all sent your mail to Matt directly ;_;. In any case, I'll see you next weekend, and can we try and keep the 20-paragraph manifestos in check? Just sayin's all.

Send a Letter!

Unanswered Letter Backlog: 0 - GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!
Andrew is aghast at the situation in Virginia.

Why on earth was that campus not evacuated? Even if they thought it was a domestic dispute!

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