Send a letter I Talk to me, baby I Old columns I Really old columns
We Can Do Eet April 29th, 2005

Andrew Long - 2:00 EST

TODAY'S COLUMN WILL BE AN HOMAGE TO THE AUGUST tradition of saving every so often while working on a document, just to ensure we don't have any more mishaps like yesterday's. On that note, time to save!

...What a bothersome thing.

I love when Donald Rumsfeld says something so ridiculous even he can't keep a straight face... saved! Yep, this is definitely getting old fast x.x



Dear Castration,

Do you Yahoo? Furthermore, what do you think about the impending doom of the world? I mean, sure there are enough RPGs coming out each year to save it, but what happens when they stop coming? Where will the brash, young group of heroes aided by an older, wiser character come from then? Who will keep the random monster encounters at bay? Who will dismantle the evil, power-hungry empires? Who will take Mr. Potter's magical seed, plant it in the ground atop Mount Peak and exchange whatever grows out of it for the key to the next dungeon? Who, I ask, who? Frankly, I don't know how the world will manage to stay together without the brave heroes that RPGs produce each year to save it.

Lukewarmly yours,


Hmm... That's a dilly of a pickle you've got there. Because I most certainly do not Yahoo, I am without many viable options that its search engine might otherwise provide me, so all I can offer you in the way of suggestions is undertaking an heroic quest of your own, possibly to defeat capitalism with Lenin's corpse, or maybe Avalanchoids with Captain Activity. The important thing you need to think about is life insurance, though. How do you think your little Timmy will feel if he finds out his daddy came out second best in a fight with one of those dirty snow monsters and that he'll be forced to beg for pennies to feed his festering drug habit? HOW?



Very clever of you to pit Steve and myself against each other...but your days of laughing will be over soon. I'm not sure if Steve still holds a grudge against me...but one thing is certain. He is saving the largest piece of poo...for YOOOOU!

Fear not...if you stand down from your position of q&a and let Steve take over, you will be spaired.

Best Regards,

Christopher Beaupre

P.S We've been slipping poison in your food


I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't negotiate with terrorists, because it does not take a genius to go out and kill people. We know that, both of us, and so why would I bother living in fear of your feces-flinging friend when paying him off might just bring another crap-throwing monkey knocking on my door? No thank you.

P.S. Bleargh!

Listy the Persisty

Dear Andrew(again),

Ok, so, my question is basically surrounded by the fact that I bought a buttload of RPGs in the past few months and now I know not the order in which to play them. I figured I would ask you, since, well, because I can. Here is the list: Breath of Fire 5, Suikoden 3, Tales of Destiny 2, LaPucelle Tactics, Phantom Brave, Grandia 1, 2 and Xtreme, Skies of Arcadia legends (GC), Growlanser Generations, Drakengard, Unlimited Saga, and Brave fencer Musashi. What order do you think I should play them in? Which should I not play together to avoid overly reused gameplay mechanics and plot rehashes among games? Are there certain combinations I should/shouldn't mess with? Are there any more games I should get and play before I play these? I feel like i'm sending in another one of those off-topic brain teasers except that this is pretty close to on-topic and probably solvable with a third grade level education. It's just that, well, um I don't, know, the um the thing. Thanks again!



Ah, yes... I remember this letter from yesterday, and it was definitely in the answered pile before my power went wonky. As such, I will attempt to reproduce the list I created then (though the games you have listed appear mysteriously to have procreated while we slept):

  • Breath of Fire 5
  • Skies of Arcadia Legends
  • Brave Fencer Musashi
  • Phantom Brave
  • Grandia II
  • Unlimited SaGa
  • Growlanser Generations
  • Suikoden 3
  • Grandia Xtreme
  • Grandia
  • Tales of Destiny 2
  • La Pucelle Tactics
  • Drakengard

    That's right, Drakengard gets no love, and La Pucelle Tactics is pretty redundant once you've played Phantom Brave, despite the dissimilarities in the systems. USaGa might look a little high, but I enjoyed the small amount of it that I played, and with the number of characters it has, each campaign is relatively short, meaning it won't take you too long to pass judgment, assuming you play things through before you do so. As for ToD 2, I'm not positive it belongs that low, but I seem to recall hearing bad things about it. If it's not, consider it a present among the cess.


I have heard of fears regarding the battle system, that it would not work for a single player experience as well as it did for multiple people in Final Fantasy XI, but what pros can safely be stated about Final Fantasy XII?


What pros can I list? That anything can happen before it's released. That is all.

Fluff fluff fluff.. not unlike the rest of today's column

who do you think was the cutest kitty in any game? I vote for Alfador! And on a side note, this is stupid:

The Alfador Secret!

The first thing to do on the way to Alfador is beat the game three times on the same file, getting a black rock (found in the secret room in Kajar) each time. Be sure to complete all the side quests on each new game. Once this is done start up one more game and play through till you have Magus. Once he is in your team, simply set him as the leader, set the three black rock to each character in the team, and go talk to Alfador(he is in the commons in 12,000 BC). Alfador will ask you need his help. If you tell him yes, he will tell you that you are not ready for his power, and you just lost him big time. Tell him no, and he will tell you not to be so ungrateful, and join anyways.

Congratulations! You have Alfador. Although he's really not a character he is still pretty cool. He's pretty much like the cat/dragon thing in Lunar 2. In a battle, Alfador will stand next to the leader and randomly attack or heal, but they are few and far between. His attack is Triple Slash. It attacks one enemy three times, causing 1400 damage each slash on average. His heal technique, Healing Light, fully heals one party member's HP and MP. While Alfador cannot be directly attacked by an enemy, if he is hit by an all area attack, he will counter-attack, usually for 1200 damage. He will also counter-attack if Magus is attacked.

There You Go!!!!


Thanks awfully... If you think it's stupid, it sort of raises the question of why exactly you'd tell me about it, but I digress. My favorite cat also comes from Chrono Trigger, and while Alfador is certainly pretty awesome, Catalack takes my vote by a country mile. He's sleek, fast, and cute!

Sweet jebus... Why are we talking about this? I think my dignity just melted...


Hi Andrew,

I know you'll probably wish all kinds of pain and stuff on me for this but here goes.

"Andrew Long is deeply irritated with things at present. Do not poke him."

Sorry, couldn't resist.
*ducks the various kitchen appliances being thorwn at him by a raging Andrew*


HA! HA! HA! DIE! Mmm... That's good curmudgeon!

Grandia not so Grandiose?

Hello Q&A Guru, Why in the world is Squaresoft not showing off Grandia 3 at E3? It looks absolutely amazing, and I read it is 75% done in Japan, surely they plan to bring it here? Surely they should show some videos of it to start building hype in america? No? -W


All I can think is that either it's a surprise title, it's not coming out here, or one of the holdovers from Enix's marketing department somehow got put in charge of publicizing the game. My money would normally be on A, but since every Grandia in the past has made it through to us, I can't see why III wouldn't get the transatlanticism we're all hoping for. Also, the list Square has revealed is not 100% finalized, so don't be surprised if Grandia makes it on there in the end.

Unfit for Print

does stella get her groove back?


I would have been just as happy without this one...


Yay! It lives! For tomorrow, Guild Wars is approaching like a freight train. Have you tied YOUR kidnap victim to the tracks yet?
Andrew Long will come to save the day!

Send a Question

Though if there's any sandwich shops along the way, I'll probably get distracted and fail miserably


Most Recent


About the Host Mommy, Where Do Chocobos Come From?
Filler.. Sweet, delicious filler

How Would Casto Like to See Gary Bettman Perish Today?

Fish hooks, fish hooks, spiky spiny fish hooks

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy