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Nyermmm Pen Missile! April 23rd, 2005

Andrew Long - 23:34 EST

BLERP. I spent a good part of the day tooling around on rainy roads, and while we were coming out of a parking garage, this girl ran through the exit in front of us for no apparent reason and deposited herself on my dad's front bumper. Fortunately we were going slowly and she was unhurt, but geez... Who runs into an exit at full tilt?

Funny, I don't remember hearing anything about this

what i was asking sir is will we see nintendo make earthbound 0+1 aka mother 1+2

then i asked your opinion on it.

my other question was super mario rpg legend of the 7 stars so many want that on the gba that i was curious if nintendo and square-enix would work together to give us that title for the gba or ds.

then i asked what your opinion is on it.

so many on the nintendo forums want it that i wanted to know what your thoughts was on those 2 games



Let's see... Mother 1+2 has already been remade, and it has already not made it to North America, and since the release was some time ago, I don't hold out too much hope for its eventual appearance here. I also don't think you'll see SMRPG ported to anything ever for the simple reason that Square and Nintendo don't really get along too well.

Something gone horribly horribly wrong


I was really, really, really bored the other day, so I popped Disgaea into my PS2 and have been spending roughly 6hrs a day since then playing it. What I've come to realize is that although the game is quite good (and is damned funny to boot), it's also very frivolous. I don't mean that it's like getting away with stealing cookies from the jar as a kid, so much as I mean it openly flaunts the comic adventure aspect of itself in a way that could feasibly jade a person's perception of the roleplaying genre. This is all the more evident when you compare it to a tactical RPG of a more mature nature, such as Phantom Brave or Final Fantasy Tactics.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, have you ever played a game that you felt broke the RPG mold in a 'bad' way?

~ Zachary 'ASV' Lewis

P.S.: When is Shadow Hearts III coming out in North America?


Pretty much any bad game that isn't horribly generic falls under that category. For instance, Crapsody introduced the concept of a musical RPG, which is something that should never have been, and Paladin's Quest thought that it would be far out to eliminate MP from the equation, but failed to note that doing so it became largely unplayable, since spells tended to be rather useless, save for status magic. This left gamers with a game that pretty much amounted to "hammer attack until win" during fights, which even 15 years ago didn't really qualify as playable.

P.S. Die.

I'll merge YOU!


here's the answer to that bag of marble riddle you had yesterday, Take a bag and put it on the scale, any bag, it doesn't matter, if it happens to weigh 90 kilograms, hey awesome, you win, if it doesn't, leave that bag on the scale, then proceed to take one marble out of another bag, and place it in the bag on the scale, if it goes up by 10 kilograms, then put the marble back in the other bag and set it aside, do this to each of the bags until one of the marbles makes the scale go up less than 10 kilograms, this tells you which bag has the 9 kilogram marbles in it.

Can I get a tilde? and on another note, what do you think about gamespot buying eb? I've never seen a gamespot store on the east coast, so I'm not sure what they're like, but EB has needed a revamp of their setup for a while. And on one other note, digital devil saga, have you played? worth the cash? it's either Y's or DDS so I could use a recommendation.



You get nothing, for I do not award such foolishness! Also, someone came up with an arcane scheme involving taking 5-4-3-2-1 balls out of various sacks.. I don't know, it got complicated and the letter didn't have a question I felt like answering, so I kind of skipped over it. You, on the other hand, have asked about the merger. I figure it can't make EB any worse, although it's bad news for competition, since there is little incentive for them to offer prices any better than their already inflated costs on used stuff and unbargainly prices for new. Either way, there's no Gamestops around here either, so unless they change their logo I doubt there'll be much difference for me either.

As to your conundrum, if you like old-school goodness go with Ys. If you like something a little dark and newer-styled, take the DDS plunge.

I see...

RPGamer Q&A folks,

What's the deal with online RPGs? Judging by my personal opinion, the opinions of 95% of the gamers I know, and those found in online polls, people aren't really that into online games. At least not enough to justify the bombardment of online RPG garbage that continues to get thrown at us.

Let see, we've got this new online Conan game (curse them for not making a single player Conan…) Baroque Online, Emil Chronicle, Belle Isle, I've heard word of an Arc the Lad online, as well as a Legend of Mana. And obviously the wealth of other MMOs out right now. Is there really enough money is the genre to justify all this? Again, from what I've seen the majority of RPGamers have zero interest in online games. I just don't get it….well, at least I've got Oblivion to look forward to.

Sal Pancho


Now hold on just a second. While it's true that there are a lot of people who aren't into MMORPGs, there are a fairly large number who are, if subscription rates for WoW, EQ2, MxO, CoH, and DAoC are any indication. To answer your question, if there wasn't a market, people wouldn't be trying to flood it, so I would tend to suggest that yes, there is in fact a demand for these games out there, a fact certainly played out by the huge numbers Blizzard put up. If you think 1 million gamers is a mere 5% of the total gaming population, you're sadly mistaken, given most offline RPGs are lucky to gross twice that number in sales.

Instead, I'm going to guess that you've been looking at all these games as I once did, and saying "why would I pay $15 a month for that?" The answer? Because there's new content, the opportunity to interact with other players if you so choose, and a highly addictive reward-to-effort ratio that keeps players playing just a little longer than they should. Beyond that, most games have integrated their payment procedures so seamlessly that it really is easy to miss it when they charge that $15. Anyhow, I think if you have seen online polls to this effect, the numbers are inflated, because MMORPGs make an easy target for people looking to complain randomly about something, as I'm sure you've clued into.

Faceplant follies

I have a question. A serious question. It is burning in my mind, and I can't get it out. It bothers me constantly, any time I think of it. Also, I'm supposed to be doing math homework, and therefore am suddenly enamored with anything that's not math homework.

In video games, and in anime, there will be some sort of serious and deeply emotional scene. Someone will perhaps be in the process of sacrificing his life, or finishing a life-long dream, or defeating the murderer who killed his parents. And then, in the middle of the incredibly emotional scene, for no reason at all, someone trips and falls on their face... in slow motion no less.

WHAT THE SMURF IS UP WITH THAT. It does not make sense! Is it supposed to be symbolic of the character's failure or something? That doesn't even make sense, because you really can't apply that theory to, say, Cait Sith tripping on the way to sacrificing himself to retrieve the black materia. Or Nina in the end of Dragon Quarter. In both cases, they get back up and everything works out. It's not comic relief, because you don't put comic relief in a place like that, that's stupid. Please explain this phenomenon of Japanese culture which I cannot comprehend. Otherwise I'm just going to assume that these bizzare foreign devils are trying to destroy our minds and take our jobs, and that anything that is not made in America and is not easily understood by me is inherently evil.

Also, 2004 was a slow year for storylines.



Maybe it's not symbolic of failure, but it could be symbolic of weakness. Failing that, I think you're dismissing the comic relief possibility far too quickly. Even Evangelion felt the need to insert a random beer-drinking penguin creature at random intervals, and I can see no real use for that penguin other than to add random and unnecessary zaniness to the series.

Or maybe Japanese people like seeing other people trip. Who knows?


I wish I felt a little better right now, but them's the breaks, I suppose. Hopefully next weekend will see a happy, less gutrotted me, because that would mean more letters and more creamsicles for all! For now, however, it is Googletime, which, while not Hammertime, will nonetheless involve a good many dance moves. BREAK IT DOWN!
Andrew Long can't touch this.

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