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Incredibility L. Grooms

Andrew Long - April 10 '04- 3:36 Eastern Standard Time

I AM ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE BEEN ENGAGED in a most unwholesome activity while playing FFXI today. You see, Square Enix has created this Easter Egg minigame whereby you have to collect various easter eggs in order to exchange them for items, but the catch is, they correspond to letters of the alphabet, and since everyone has different letters in their name, the eggs carried different value for everyone. As a result, this crazy stock market setup has been in place since the game first appeared, and I'm afraid to say I spent the entire day spamming the poor citizens of Windurst with delicious missives about my various and uh, well priced eggs.

You'd think this would grow boring after a while, but remarkably, it kept me entertained for a full eight hours, during which time I turned a profit of about 40,000 gil. For an idea of what that's worth, all the gil I had ever acquired prior to that point probably amounted to about 15000 at most, so this was quite the windfall for little Castarumel. Anyhow, I'm saddened to report that it was much more fun than actually playing the game, although this may have the unexpected benefit of curing me of my FFXI addiction. It's still too early to tell, however, since there's three more days of egg-hawking goodness before I have to call it quits.

The moral of the story? Sometimes it's okay to buy at 500 and sell at 1000, because getting away with it is more fun than actually having the money. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other. Which is to say, I have a super-special announcement to make at the end of the column, so you'd best be reading through. Incidentally, if you're puzzling at the title, it's the alleged name of an actual spammer who spammed me today, and since I spent my day shouting things like "These are really the best prices in town!" and "2 eggs for 1500!" and "a/s/l LOL" I thought I'd pay homage to my seamy little activities du jour. Huzzah!



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The kupomogli LJ

OTT leading, 1-0
That's right!
1k per egg
3 for 2000
I must've sold dozens x.x

Lyrics Lament

Hey Andrew! I was just wondering, why hasn't anyone come out with the lyrics to Forever Rachel on Nobuo's new Gold CD. I'm getting tired of listening to it, but not knowing what the heck the woman and the man vocalist are saying. If you could do me a favor and find it, that would be great.

Celes42017 (no I dont smoke the weed)

P.S.-The new Matrix movies suck because it's the same thing over again. And the first Paper Mario was interesting, but like most Nintendo sequels, they end in stupidity. No one likes 2-D anymore!!! (A shame)

Well, if by "Nobuo's Gold CD" you mean the Gold CD put out by the fine people at PMM, it's because those lyrics violated copyright, and as far as I know they weren't even supposed to be included with the CD. If you're talking about something else, it's because they're in Japanese, and while that has never been much of a stumbling block for our fellow rabid gamers, it seems to have been in this case, either because nobody cares about FFVI anymore or because the world is secretly plotting to defeat you. Hmm... and I've said too much!

In other news, thanks for getting me hooked on an FFVI MIDI page. For whatever reason I still don't have the whole soundtrack, and there's something nice and nostalgic about FFVI MIDI...

P.S. Your postscript seems self-contradictory, so I'm not quite sure what to say. Mario & Luigi was a fantastic game, and Paper Mario had a pretty good reputation too, so I don't see where "stupidity" comes into it other than the general ridiculousness of a bean witch tooling about in a floating rocker. Then again, plumbers using magic mushrooms to defeat nasty little turtles seems highly suspect too, so you kind of have to suspend your disbelief in these situations.

Muerp copyright law

Hey Cast,

Someone wrote in a couple times about trying to find a good traditional rpg for the PC. There's a whole community of gamers who make snes style rpgs with various makers (rm2k/rm2k3 seems to be the most popular), though you'd probably have to play through some bad ones to find the better ones. Hopefully that'll help scratch the rpg itch.

- RoboTroy

Thanks for sharing, RoboTroy, but here at RPGamer we don't condone that sort of thing, because dammit Jim, we're not a doctor! I'd try and remember the actual reason, but my cat just made a thoroughly demonic noise in the other room, so I think I have to go hide now.

Feep treads dangerously

Spider Man 2 trailer...(drool) So...awesome...

It sucks that Tales of Symphonia is being ported to PS2. I'm still gonna buy it for GC, but it's shame that Nintendo didn't get that one awesome exclusive RPG which I so wanted it to get. Ah I also have ANOTHER Tales game to look forward to, Rebirth. Rockin'.

Matrix Online? I personally loved the third movie, but for some reason, I'm not too terribly excited about playing an MMORPG in that world. Until video game fighting looks as unbelievably cool as the choreographed kung-fu battles in movies, it just feels like it's missing something. Besides, what the hell would you do? The story was wrapped up pretty nicely in Revolutions...I really don't see the purpose. (shrug)

And stop whining about hockey.

- Feep "Due to that last remark, Andrew will most likely focus his response not on ANYTHING remotely related to RPGs, but some lame rebuttal that involves the downfall of modern referrees in sports"

Look mister, hockey is the only thing that matters right now, besides hawking my many and wonderful eggs, so let's not be meowing about my meowing! Speaking of unearthly meows, my cat gave me his most innocent look when I went in to check on him, leading me to believe that some sort of alien pod creature has inhabited my couch in conjunction with some sort of scheme, in which my cat is complicit. As to the Matrix game, I'm kind of in the same boat as you as far as the excitement meter goes. While I don't think the movie quite wrapped everything up in a neat little package, it did do a pretty good job of ending the plotlines of the characters involved, and I think anything in the game will just be peripheral to the storyline in the movies. Granted, it's possible they could come up with a really good tie-in, but until I hear some more concrete details, I'm not going to perk up. Besides, my MMORPG addiction slate is neatly packed with FFXI and WoW for the foreseeable future, so unfortunately, TMO will likely fall by the wayside for me.

I don't know what this guy is smoking, but my name isn't Lucien Woods...

When it became so dark that there was no danger of his being observed, he rose through the air to the narrow slit in the church tower and lay upon the floor of the little room, with the bells hanging all around him, to pass the night He was just falling asleep when a tremendous din and clatter nearly deafened him, and set the whole tower tremblingIt was the midnight chime Rob clutched his ears tightly, and when the vibrations had died away descended by the ladder to a lower platformBut even here the next hourly chime made his ears ring, and he kept descending from platform to platform until the last half of a restless night was passed in the little room at the bottom of the tower When, at daylight, the boy sat up and rubbed his eyes, he said, wearily: Churches are all right as churches; but as hotels they are rank failuresI ought to have bunked in with my friend, King Edward

Okay, so this was spam, but it's such a nice story, and such a vaguely disturbing ending!

Shroudie offers up some home cookin'


There, there, all you need is some freshly baked black-market brownies to soothe you and your lack of bodily functons. Baked with love, of course. Onto the "bursting of the arteries" campaign you have set up.. If one were to vote for you, how would blowing up stupid people fit into your agenda? Cause if I want you for President Secretary of Banana State Government, then I must see that you are well qualified for the job. To be honestly honest, I highly doubt that the Matrix Online will cause much of a fuss. Granted, the first movie was good and the second..well..sucked, can we trust an upcoming game based on a movie that's spiraling towards the brink of insanity? Maybe I'm just being a tad too cynical and negative. Anywho, who knows, right? Maybe it wont be as sucky as I'm making it out to be. To rack your brain, I have yet another mind bending FFX question that I entitle only to you, dear sir. The Calms last for 10 years, correct? When Tidus first meets Yuna, it's been 10 years and 3 months since Braska defeated Sin. However, Chappu was killed the previous year by Sin and his body left on the Djose Shore, therefore meaning 9 years after the destruction of Sin. How can th.....unless I'm looking too much into it, like I usually do. As a matter of fact, as I recall, Yuna states on the Winno or Liki, whichever was attacked, that it has been 10 years and 3 months since... Oh, screw it, I'm probably just making your head hurt more than it should.

Tasting great since forever,

O' Shrouded One

The sad fact of the matter is, nobody really pays much attention with timelines concerning peripheral characters in prequels and trilogies and such. Take Star Wars. In Episode II, when Owen and Anakin meet, Anakin has aged the proper ten years and is now a strapping young lad of 19. Now, Owen says straight up that he's his half-brother, so that means that Shmi had to have been Owen's mother too - except that means Owen should have been much younger than he was, since his farmer father only bought and freed Shmi within the past few years, according to Watto. Fortunately, it's all smoothed over by a couple of things: first, Episode II is one of the most maligned movies since Plan 9 from Outer Space, and second, they kill off Shmi before anyone can ask any questions. I'd still be interested, however, to know how exactly he managed to age 20 years or so in only 10. I guess it's some sort of astro-moon aging!

Another dress sphere conundrum

you know the second healing dressphere to the white mage how to get the second one ?

If you mean the Garment Grid, you get one by defeating the Leblanc syndicate in Guadosalam during "Faking and Entering", and the other by visiting Luca in the "Behind the Scenes" mission. I'm not entirely sure if you can get them both at once though, and at any rate they appear to do exactly the same thing, so I'm not sure why you'd want to.


So, to my super-secret surprise: tomorrow will be my 100th column! Since I want it to be as magnificent and wonderful and generally 100some as possible, I will print everything I receive, and I want to receive plenty! Don't disappoint me, or you might just have to deal with something scary tomorrow...
Andrew Long pets his angry squid and mail order scorpions, and fingers his telegraph machine lightly. Everything is falling into place...




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