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When You're A Jet

Andrew Long - January 9, 2004 - 22:47 EST

MY COUSIN HAS THE MADDENING TENDENCY to latch onto a phrase from a song and repeat it ad infinitum in every available situation, usually to mostly funny effect. His latest such craze is the first half hour of West Side Story, which he has cannibalized for the song "When You're a Jet", which apparently fits all occasions. I have to agree - it's stuck in my head and I can imagine any number of scenarios in which I cheerfully strangle the movie's composer while humming it softly to myself.

Yes, I know. It should be my cousin I should go after, except I'm pretty sure he would defeat me in such a duel.


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Mommy, Where Do Chocobos Come From?

Yes, When you're a jet
You're a jet all the way
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin' day
Which by the way
Is way gloomier
Than your first dying day
Or so I hear

In praise of WoW... I think

I guess I'm sorta lucky that I managed to play WoW's Beta. I haven't been able to play WoW since then because of money issues.

So, I'm playing my brothers EQ2 account instead... and I can't help buy thinking "Damn, why didn't they do X like WoW does?"

For instance, I never realized how much I missed the buy back option for the last item you sold, until I accidently sold an item that starts a quest in EQ2... for a measly 6 copper.

Also, running around talking to everyone to find out who has quests is somewhat annoying... but EQ2's "Take this item to person X in place Y." quests are worse. They usually don't tell you where that person is, only what section of the city they can be found in.

EQ2 doesn't have automaps when you're outside a city. The first dungeon I entered, after leaving the newbie area, was a twisty dungeon. I think it took me all of 30 seconds to get totally and completely lost. If I had remembered that I received a "teleport back to the city" spell after arriving in the city, I could have cut my wasted time by at least 30 minutes as I tried to find my way out. I eventually found myself outside the city, during the middle of the night cycle, without a light source, in an area that can be called "dark" even during the day cycle.

I also want my bank size from WoW. Granted, it's nice having 4 shared Bank slots in EQ2 (in which you can store bags and stuff, except no-trade items), but the total number of slots including those is only 12. WoW has... 20? 25? That's not even counting the fact that you can buy bag slots. Of course, in EQ2, every slot is a bag slot.

Still, I think I prefer WoW over EQ2.

R. Bemrose

WoW also has the notable advantage of no overt assery having been committed by Ceciliantas! Seriously, though, these are the reasons I love Blizzard games; they may not innovate very much, but they do tend to address pretty much all the flaws in a particular genre to some extent, with the result that most subsequent titles by other companies tend to have to do at least some of the things that make Blizzard's games successful. Then, too, there's the fact that they own my soul, but that has nothing to do with anything. At all. So stop laughing about it.

Those who ignore History are doomed to suffer less than those who were hoping for it to come here

Hey Andrew (I assume it is you due to the quote from your Q&A contact info- Andrew on weekends), I was wondering what in the world happened to Front Mission History? Has it been cancelled? Did it just not come out in the USA? Just recently I became a Front Mission fan, and was exceedingly excited when I saw Front Mission History on your web page, but then I did some research, including going to the official front mission site (in Japanese, and hence not very useful to me), but it had some screenshots go to series, then front mission history.. but anyway, any news at all on this? And what about Front Mission 5? Do you know anything about it? I have only played Front Mission 4 and have loved it so much.. Well anyway, thanks in advance for any answers. JW

Not only did FMH never have a realistic chance of North American release, it simply screamed of never making it over here. When a game comes with such awesome extras as authentic replica seizure robots, you can be sure that they exist solely to make us jealous, and thus, by extension, we will never see that game. It is thus quite remarkable that in the face of all this evidence to the contrary, our erstwhile news reporter chose to construe some portion of the TGS info as an indication that this game would be making it to North America; in fact, it's pretty remarkable it ever made it to release. RPGamer apologizes for the error.

Now, as for FM5, the next game in development in the series is Front Mission Online. Curiously, it would seem Square Enix has learned its lesson from FFXI, because it didn't include FMO in the numbering for the series proper, presumably to avoid the sort of clamour that arose when diehard FF fanatics discovered that the 11th entry in that series would be given over to "mobs" and "aggroing" and "hot mithra guy-pretending-to-be-girl on guy-pretending-to-be-girl action".

Life is how you live it...through time

Andrew, Goog, and/or (hopefully) LESBIAN ROBOT SIDEKICK, LX-4,

I've been an on-and-off reader for the last five years, and I'm a first time questioner. I'm looking to get into a MMORPG. Unfortunately, I don't have much time to play, at most, an hour or so a day. So I don't really have time to coordinate any sort of party or even a scheduel. I'm wondering, is there any MMORPG that is actually enjoyable played solo? A friend of mine got pretty into Ragnarok and I believe he played solo. I'm not sure if I should bother with it though.

Secondly, what are your thoughts (if any) on Super Milk Chan? I'm rather confused by it and watch religiously out of sheer curiosity.

MMORPGs are by nature timesinks, and so if you've only got an hour a day to blow, I wouldn't recommend throwing away the corresponding moneys required to make that hour an Everquest/Matrix/Star Wars/Warcraft experience; that said, Guild Wars has no fees, so you might be well-served going with that.

Secondly, I umm.. regret to report that I have never seen the fine program in question, so I can't really say anything about it one way or the other. I'm sure it's an upstanding program, however, and with a name like that, I'll bet it doesn't have any schoolgirl fetishism at ALL!

Actually, upon hearing madhtr describe it, "schoolgirl fetish" is a little off the mark. If you like fat old men singing about catsex, on the other hand...

And rounding out this sparse selection...


In regards to DNE's claim that he's not indeed unfit for print, I must point out that in both of his letters to the column, he put the wrong letters after a number when mentioning the date. He said "6rd" and "7nd", which are not abbreviations for real English words. Sixerd? Sevennd? Regardless of other arguments, that alone makes him unfit for print.

I would tend to agree, although I have played around with such conventions myself from time to time in an effort to appear avant-garde. The trouble with that, of course, is that you also run the risk of looking like an idiot, and since I'm a good sport, I think we'll go with idiot this time.

And in regards to no staff members having XBox's to review games, you could always hire me. I'll play KOTOR2 and write a review for you. I got it for Christmas, but the hassles of life have given me little time to crack into it. And besides the two KOTOR games and Morrowind, there ARE no other RPG's for XBox. Those three games are the only ones I own.


We do have some people on staff with Xboxes; I am one of them. I don't really have the time to play through KotOR 2, however, being as how I'm only halfway through the first currently. So we're stuck waiting for it to get to the other guy. Thanks for offering though.

Unfit for Print


I'm just inquiring off the FF1&2 contest, which went off the front page, claims people can still enter (even though it is past date for eligible entries), and otherwise yeah, doesn't have any results or winners yet. Busyness with the rest of the site? I just thought I'd ask what was up since it's been a while.


Remember that part where you said "even though it is past date for eligible entries"? Remember how you included it as an afterthought? Next time, please apply logic to your thought process before coming to me - it might even save you some time! As to the winners: our contest was done in association with Nintendo, and so as far as I know, we're waiting on them before we post the results.


Well, if you enjoy my beloved design, kiss it goodbye, because it's going to be brutally murdered in the next twenty minutes. Oh, well; we had a good run, and if you think about it, Google's been with his design for going on seven years, so I imagine he's feeling a little more broken up right about now. Until next weekend, may all your difficulties be creamsicle related, and may you actually send me some mail for once.
Andrew Long would love to discuss suikoden IV!




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