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questionanswer&andrew


The Continuing Adventures of Crumbs Greeley

Andrew Long - February 28 '04- 12:31 Eastern Standard Time

WITH A TITLE LIKE THAT, YOU'D THINK I had something exciting, something adventurous whipped up for your general edification and consumption, but like so many empty whipped cream tins I have instead only useless gas to expel. Actually, I don't even have that, since my breathing can't really translate to text, at least not if you want something readable. Psssh...huhhh. Psshhh...huhhh. See? Now face it - I'm your father, if your name is Luke. If it isn't, then consider yourself lucky - I'm probably not related to you, and if I am, I only ask for 20s on my birthday.

Speaking of birthdays, it's February 28th, and tomorrow is the day of lost birthdays, which is to say, the day all those crazy leap year kids get to celebrate their birthdays once every four years, which to me seems pretty lousy since they don't actually get to age at a quarter the rate the rest of us age at, which I think is the only reasonable compensation for getting so horribly skimped. So tomorrow I shall cheerfully wish happy birthday to anyone whose birthday it is, and the rest of you can send candles or something. Preferrably unlit candles.




SEND LETTER




02-27-04
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34-19-9-3
Just get the stinking trade done
Does it really take this long
To get a player
From the crappiest team
This side of Pittsburgh?
Yes?
Hateful Avalanche..
Eye Doctors
Evil
Eyedrops
Painful
I could see the music
But it was too bright
So I sent it back
And asked for jazz
The sun failed
To acquiesce
And a tear
I shed
of blood
Blindness darkens
I'd sue
but after all
I am not blind
Just lying

Let's start things off with a bang!


Hi!

YES, yes there is such a game that I initially liked then fed to my dog... wait, I don't have a dog... DEAR GOD, SISTER! WHO SHOVED A CD IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

Ahem! Back in topic... problem is, it can't be in topic since it's not an RPG...

Bah!

*UNFIT FOR PRINT*

The game was Devil May Cry 2.

First time I play: "Wow, I can run on walls, wow I can slash the annemies in the air and shoot them while they're still in the air, OMG! I can jump turn upside down and shoot ennemies right under me! THIS GAME IS AMAZING!!!

20 minutes later: "... ?!?! The O button is fading away, I think I'm pressing it too much..."

No point in running on wall 'cuz theres no ennemies that try to kill you by raming you. No point to slash ennemies in the air as it add no gameplay value at ALL (don't die any faster) and what about killing ennemie upside down in the air... I have NEVER seen anything that stay put long enough for me to pull this off.

Final verdict, this game is all about wow factor that gets boring REAL fast. I then proceeded to feed the CD to my sist... dog!

ANDREW
You know, this sister-dog thing sounds kind of like a complex to me...

RPG wise... I'd have to say Final Fantasy X. I have never had so much good night of sleep as when I played that game.

Whoohoo, barage of fanboy hate ^-^

You get well and keep away from that Shrouded one...

~Soul~

ANDREW
I have got well, and while I must now hunt you down and string your guts up along a chain link fence for daring to badmouth FFX, I will nevertheless print this letter in its entirety. To me, running on the wall sounds kind of cool - some games are all about pointless yet cool moves - but then, I've never played DMC 2, so I'm in no position to talk about it. Finally, one does not stay away from Shroudie. Shroudie is darkness and stalking and prohibited beard all rolled into one, and I'd like to see you evade his clawsy grasp.


A deadly mystery


Hey Andrew,

That “next RPG” from Level-5 just has to be “Dark Cloud 3”. Early press releases concerning the game said that it would have a sci-fi feel to it and be darker than its predecessors.
-Jeremy, the Duke of Otterland

ANDREW
That may be, but since they've already announced Dark Cloud 3, I don't understand why they wouldn't just say "Dark Cloud 3" instead of "Next RPG", so I'm not fully convinced.


cliched AND creepy, to say nothing of the innuendo bonus!


Andrew...

...if you're close enough to know Fox 29 and Darien Lake, then you're probably close enough to be able to get to Olean, New York. Go to the mall there (a pitiful excuse, but that's what th landmark is named). Inside the Electronics Boutique there is a used copy of Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis. It was the copy I traded in. The copy I traded in shortly after sending the letter which mentioned TO today.

Call me... ...deep... er, wait, that's too cliched.

Just call me a fan of Canada's Wonderland.

ANDREW
Well, FoCW, as much as I would like to take you up on your offer, I'm pretty sure TOKoL is nestled safely within my desk, just waiting to be played. I will, however, hold your exciting offer in trust in case somebody or something has eaten my desk, which is always a possibility in these crazy times - why, just last week my sister ran off to Vancouver without ID and $200 to her name! Actually, that has nothing to do with my desk, but I thought it would be an interesting tidbit anyway, especially since she has no real prospects and will probably have to wrestle trees to make a living. It sure would serve me right if she somehow became the dictator of B.C, though!


20 questions..well, almost


Castomos,

With the disappointing Sunday evar so behind us, let's push on. For a while, I've been lacking motivation to do much of anything, maybe that's just my laziness growing? Alas, I feel as though I'm out of much concept topic for today. Oh yeah, how bout 'them Leafs? Questions will come in a fast and quick manner, with you answering with the first thing that comes to mind. Not only will this be added to ever growing stalking log, but it will help your fans better understand you as a person. Rapid-fire-mayhem!! Favorite color? Rival RPG site you'd like to sabotage? Favorite RPG soundtrack? Favorite movie? Favorite staff member? Staff member you would kidnap? Favorite book? Samurais or ninjas? Google, hot Swedish model, or future evil world ruler? Canada or Antarctica? If stranded on a desert island, who'm would you blow up with a missile? Person you look up to? Person who captures your heart the most? George W. Bush, escaped mental paitent or shaved gorilla? Possible names for our..I mean, your future children? Favorite stalker? Person you dream about? Even if there's only 1 other letter for tomorrow, this should make up for at least 6. So many questions, and I'm not even to the lightning round!!

It's getting hot in here.....no wait, that's just radiating from you,

O' Shrouded One

ANDREW
Hmm... okay...
1. Blue and orange
2. Now why would I want to do a thing like that?
3. FFIX
4. For serious, Magnolia. For fun, True Lies. For nostalgia, The Wizard. For camp value, Double Dragon in: Last Duel
5. tuintetuintetuinte
6. anyone who can cook
7. Breakfast of Champions, Kurt Vonnegut
8. Ninjas
9. Who's to say that they aren't all the same thing?
10. Canada, because of lenient drug laws universal health care
11. Your mother... oh!
12. I don't really look up to people
13. Now you're just fishing for compliments!
14. A little from column a, a little from column b.
15. Jack if it's a guy, Viola Capitola if it's a girl
16. Why you, dearest Shroudie!
17. Don't get greedy


Xenowoes


Does your Xenogear movies on your site still work? I can’t get the ending ones to work and I really want to see it. If I can’t see it on this site, do you know how I can besides going out, buying the game and beating it?

ANDREW
You can be patient; the movie file still works, our server is just slower than usual thanks to all the FF fanboys sucking up bandwidth as they fall over each other trying to download the FF7:AC trailer.

Also, at the end of Xenosaga episode I, it asks you to save your game data for use in Episode II. Do you know how the data from ep. I will be used in ep. II?

Thanks,
Ryan

ANDREW
Well, after first searching for the answer to your question and then going on to read a bunch of random reviews that have no bearing on anything, I have concluded that I do not, in fact, know. Of course, I was looking for the wrong thing, so that probably explains it, but according to this story, you'll get access to bonuses. What exactly those bonuses are is your guess or mine, but I'd hold on to that save slot unless you absolutely need the space.


On online quandaries


Will Final Fantasy XII be playable on the internet. If so will it be playable only on the internet?

ANDREW
Probably not, and definitely not. Square Enix already has FFXI, which they should be able to patch and upgrade for years to come, if UO and EQ are any indication, so there's no reason for them to risk more money in setting up a second FF online venture, especially since the first took over a year and a half to become profitable.

Summoner synthetics


Hey Mr. Long,

I've been reading Q&A for ages, but have only just been compelled to write. I've been a fan of Final Fantasy since the first NES game. Nowadays, with a wife and two kids, I have little time or money to play many games, so I stick to what I know - any FF game, or anything along the same lines.

Recently I picked up and played Summoner. The game has got a lot of bad press, but I think it's great. It's a somewhat different type of RPG than I'm used to.

So my question....are there any similar RPG's out there? With gameplay along such lines? Or, failing that, anything that falls under the category of "If You Liked That, Then You'll LOVE This..."?

Preferably an old game so it will be cheap.

Cheers!

Jamie Crothall

ANDREW
Well, you could always try Summoner 2, and according to IGN, the game play is similar to Wind Waker, for what it's worth. If it is indeed in the action-RPG vein, then that opens a whole wealth of options for you including Diablo II and its multitude of clones. If you like your action RPGs with stories, though, you could always try and struggle through one of the latter-day Ultimas. while VIII is a buggy sack of crap, I did immensely enjoy playing it right up to the point where my computer crapped out and refused to acknowledge the commands I was trying to execute. IX is supposed to be pretty faulty too, but Ultima games do have good stories. Other than that, you might try another of the early PS2 RPGs, Evergrace, and I would be remiss (and gutted by Jake) if I didn't mention Skies of Arcadia, which sounds at least remotely similar to Summoner.

Anyway, I hope that helps and to anyone who is now itching to gut me for naming games that are nothing like Summoner, save your time. Like I said, I haven't played the game, and I'm only suggesting these titles based upon the overall perception i get of Summoner. Besides, every one of the games I've mentioned is fairly old, so my good man Jamie should be able to find them on the cheap.


YOU 'DREW
QUICKIE I
Who's hosting tomorrow?

tuinte

Andrew:
Me, you bastard. I only just got back, I'm not about to start ditching off work at this point :P

QUICKIE II
I just got this game called morrowind.
not just the game but the whole collectors edition. i was playing with the construcion set, and i need to know HOW DO I DO ANY OF THIS!?!?!? if you can send me something to look at like a website for it or something. thx for ur time.

Andrew:
May I suggest you either get the manual/guide or look for an FAQ? I could tell you the names of several sites, but since I'm not supposed to whore out places like this, I'll leave that part up to a search engine. Besides, good windows-based games usually have a decent-sized tutorial, which you should really be consulting anyway before you jump into the murky waters of building your own levels. Well, unless you're Xboxing it up. Then we're back to my original suggestion, but either way, the bottom line is, I'm not going to read your tutorial for you because I don't have the time, the space here, or any inclination to do so.

QUICKIE I
I've never had the desire for an xbox before, but I simply NEED Fable.
So, Fable will be the selling point of the xbox for me. What do you think of Fable, and will it warrant your purchase of an xbox, if you don't already have one?
-WildARMs

Andrew:
I think Fable is both the bee's knees and the cat's meow rolled into one little ball of effusiveness. It will not, however, warrant my purchase of an XBox, as I already have one.



DA LAST GRUMBLE

Well, it wasn't exactly countless quickies, but I held out in case you guys hold out on me again. For tomorrow, in addition to letters on games you loved at first and blew up like a Chicago baseball later, I'm feeling retro, so tell me: what is your favorite NES RPG, and why? If you didn't have an NES, then you don't count, because Sega systems were for those weird kids two towns over. That, at any rate, is all.

castomel@hotmail.com
Andrew Long dade net wen tha leit per a cgerza.

I'LL PROVIDE THE ANSWERS, YOU PROVIDE THE

QUESTIONS


You can also send in letters making anagrams from that gibberish up there!



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