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Andrew Long - January 15 '04- 21:33 Eastern Standard Time

IN THE DEEP OF EVENING I am also deeply cold, and not a little irritated by the mostly rotten-smelling (and tasting) fish I bought and then cooked (badly), which better not give me food poisoning, because the last thing I need is to puke some more, having already dropped more weight than I could afford while influenzated.

At any rate, it's already about seven hours later than I wanted, so let's dig in.



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Mmm... compounded


I'm a fan of both Chrono games, but the abandonment of the trademark means little to me. For one, I'd be willing to bet you'll still get ridiculous unfit-for-print email asking about when Chrono Break is coming out and if it is really the TRUE sequel to Chrono Trigger, because Chrono Cross obviously wasn't (sarcasm intended). Anywho, the name doesn't mean anything so it's abandonment doesn't bother me. The only thing I do see as a letdown is the fact that SquareEnix says they have not had any plans for a third Chrono game. I like the series... time travel and dimensional warping is a novel concept, and even if it doesn't make any sense quantum physics-wise, it's still fun to tell a story about. But honestly, I don't know where they could go with a third game anyway. "Chrono Break" certainly didn't shed any light onto what sort of thing the game would be about. The only concept I can think of is smashing multi-dimensional travel together with time travel into some sort of twisted multi-dimensional time travel. But that would get confusing really fast.

"My God, Serge, we've traveled into an alternate past! And changing this past won't affect our world, because we're already in a parallel universe! So let's just break stuff!"

And hence the name, "Chrono Break" is born.

In all seriousness, I really would have liked to have found out a little more about Schala and Magus... that's the only plot point that is really left dangling at the end of Chrono Cross. Which, by the way, when you think about it, didn't make a whole lot of sense to begin with. It's almost like Square forced some sort of sequel out of story that really was complete in and of itself. On that note, it's probably best that they don't ever make another Chrono game.



Yeah, that always pissed me off how there was nothing about Magus, and precious little about Schala. And I guess all those other characters, but to be honest, the thing that really hooked me in Chrono Trigger was the concept of Zeal and the characters there. The idea of it just blew my mind at the time, and while I was fourteen and blowing my mind was relatively easy thanks to my sheltered existence (well, friend wasn't allowed to see Jurassic Park until he was 17, so I guess I didn't have it the worst), it still makes me shivery and stuff when I replay it and go through Zeal.

Also, it pissed me off to no end that I couldn't get into that one blasted palace/temple/whatever that I think you get into, but it doesn't seem like it because you never get to go outside on the map.

Mmm... Grilled cheese sandwich

Ah, the long rumors of Chrono Break... I do hope at some point a third game in the Chrono franchise is released. Chrono Trigger is one of my favorite RPGs of all time, despite being so short. The characters are just so enjoyable, the music is great, and the whole game had a relatively light tone that was a refreshing change from the uber-serious tone of a lot of RPGs released at the time (and now, for that matter).

Chrono Cross really disappointed me. I have tried to get into it several times and it never quite clicks with me. The whole childish tone of the game really bugged me, but what bothered me the most is that I was expecting a literal sequel to Chrono Trigger with the same characters and that wasn't what I got.

If I were making a game in the Chrono franchise, it would probably be a direct continuation of Chrono Trigger. The villain would probably be something other than Lavos (I'm never a fan of environmental 'force of nature' villains) and the plot would involve Chrono and company going to different time periods. OK, well, I haven't spent time to think of what the plot would be, but something involving the origins of Zeal might be cool.

As for what tastes good with ketchup, grilled cheese sandwiches get my vote.

-- Deshrill (

I heartily agree on both points, and perhaps the two can be combined - grilled cheese sandwiches would go just great with floating in the sky amidst the clouds. Now, if only I could figure out some way to get into that accursed temple...

Y'know, in my day we didn't complain about getting into temples - we took out our shovels and pickaxes and we carved ourselves a hole. And don't go telling me there was a magic shield, because everyone knows there's no such thing as magic, except of course that feeling you get after your lungs fill with coal dust. Now get digging, you nancyboy! I'll take that there sandwich.

That's it. Yeah, I know I'm on. And I don't care! I don't do this column without my grilled cheese sandwich!

Hey Andrew, That quote comes from the Dot Hack games. Piros says it (and other quotes) whenever you give him an item he can use. BTW, which RPG did “Now you’re playing with power!” come from? I know it was one of Nintendo’s old slogans, yet supposedly, it came from an RPG.

-Lord Otterland

Correct you are! In honour of this occasion, I hereby award you the .~:\\A Winner Is You. Use it well, young one. As to the answer to that question, I could just make you dig through the archives until somebody gives me a grilled cheese sandwich, but since this is the internet, it would probably cost more in shipping than it's worth, so I'll just tell you it's from Mario & Luigi.

Oh, and I've been instructed to give you double points for guessing the character, so .~:\\Doublepoints.

Addiction, schools, and HELL

Hello Mr. Long,

It's been far too long since I've sent a letter in, but such is the problem with getting addicted to 4 different games at once. Perhaps you are wondering which ones? Star Wars: KOTOR(PC), best game of the year. Mario Kart: Double Dash!! is like cocaine for gamers, you just can't help but have that drive to beat it. (Pun intended) Morrowind: Game of the Year (PC) has taken way too much time, although I'm not a big fan of non-linearity I like being payed to kill people for the Morag Tong. Finally, Zelda: LttP (GBA) has caused my friends and I to already start failing in my important classes(the ones that require work). Damn Nintendo for making Four Swords so damn addictive.

I guess choosing what college to go to is also taking some time. Would you know anything about SIUC, NIU, or Millikin U (All based in Illinois). Any help would be nice.

Sorry, my friend. The only schools I ever researched were Canadian, because even though I'm sitting here freezing my ass off, I like this country for some reason. Actually, if you wanna know the truth, it's only 3 degrees colder here than in Boston, so I guess even if I had gotten my hopes up and applied in the U.S, I'd still be chilly. Even so, it's supposed to warm up there by next week, whereas here there's a solid slate of -27's. Feels like -40 with wind chill!

Crap. Please, the next time I start talking about the weather, just bash me with a hockey stick or something.

As for the topic today, I believe that if Square-Enix really cared about what we thought, they'd ask us. But, the idea of playing another Chrono game does sound nice. Looks like we'll just have to wait until 2006.

Well, I suppose I should go feed the Rhino now, read the Jump, check out the theatre, and hit the arcade now. By the way, I've been handed a website that tells people what layer of hell they are going to, I made 7th, so go here to find out. DELETED!

Ricky Takare

"Now that, my friend, is a shared moment."

Where exactly do you get 2006 from? Is that when the Japanese trademark expires? Also, sorry to kill your link, but like I said yesterday, if I give one to you, I have to give one to everybody else! Incidentally, I only made it to the first circle... unless that was the fourth, I forget. Anyhow, lest we shock the more religiously inclined members of this audience with our disdain for hell and all its delightful bedtime stories, let us move on.

I'll show you Final Mix...

I just bought Kingdom Hearts and I love it! So I wanted to check out more stuff about then I check out some screenshots about Kingdom Hearts Final Mix, now what I want to know is Kingdom Hearts Final Mix is part of Kingdom Hearts 1 or is final mix another game altogether?

Final Mix is still KH; it's just a superversion, created so that Japanese gamers know that they will always get better games than the poor saps occupying this particular continent. Yes, KH:Final Mix is basically Square Enix's way of saying "Up yours, stink town!" to North America, and the only way you will ever get it is by overpaying to import it. That is, of course, unless S-E decides to release it here, breaking several games' worth of tradition.

Whoring out a homepage, a homepage, a homepage


Chrono Break....R.I.P. We knew ye well young one. We won't be able to know of your secresy, your affairs, and your future outlook and how you would affect the minds of us all. Ah..well. At least NeoCarbuncle addressed me in a letter. Fear not Buncley, one day you'll be able to send me letters. Castomel "did" tell me of your alleged greetings so you are safe....for now. It seems that tonight will bring in a horrid night of icy-wintery madness. If I'm will be cancelled. One can only hope, right? While I amuse you with this letter, I should mention that I enjoy ketchup on pretty much anything, although chicken is definetly on the top of my list. As I ponder the mysteries of future schemes which would include world domination..I ask you this... How can I improve my website so people will actually visit it/sign the guestbook? I was thinking of putting one of those nekkid pictures I have of you in it, but I figured that I'd ask you.

Until another midnight dreary and so-forth,

O' Shrouded One

Yes, in case anyone cares, I'm also in the "ketchup on anything" school, except for three important exceptions: hotdogs, hamburgers, and sushi. As to your homepage conundrum, well, at Geocities you can advertise with groups, you can include subliminal messaging everytime you write in here, and if you really wanna fill up that guestbook, submit your page as an ALoD at They may not find it sufficiently bad, like, the insane rantings of a lunatic priest I once suggested they use, but you can always give it a shot.


It rhymes, so it must be true! Also, you'll have to provide wine, Shroudie. Good luck with that one ^_^.

Boingy, boingy!

First I have to say that it is definitely saddening to hear that there will be no Chrono Break as I greatly enjoyed both Trigger and Cross. That being said one has to wonder exactly what Break would have done if it was made. I mean you've already cover time and space, and as far as I'm aware there's no sixth dimension so Break would either have to be a repeat of Trigger or Cross or be a combination of the two. Either way I think it would have ended up being a dissapointment. Anyway those are my thoughts.

-- Kalledon --

Actually, according to this crazy scientist who gave my class a lecture once in grade 7, which he then tried to illustrate with folding paper, which was a very bad idea since I'm so easily distracted, there are 17 dimensions. Apparently, a morbius strip proves this concept, but since I can neither remember whether that's the proper term nor how exactly it proves this particular theory, I'm afraid all that I have left from the experience is the conviction that folding paper is really lots of fun.

Incidentally, space as we know it is three separate dimensions, represented by height, width, and depth. So far as I understand, space then becomes a function of time in that crazy math I always do really badly at. I really need to study next year when they force me to take it again...


Well, I'll try never to post a column this late again, but I guess it doesn't really matter, since Google likes to post in the evenings and afternoons too, which leaves my Friday column up an ungodly long amount of time. Anyhow, it'll probably be this way until I'm done school, so I guess we'll have to get used to it for now. Tomorrow, we can talk more Chrono Break, but I'm also curious: does anyone care about Drakengard, the game Square Enix has slated for release on March 2? Read the story! I even wrote it!
Andrew Long has lost the use of his pants.



Stupid road salt! It doesn't work below -18 degrees! Damn you, works department!

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