Ask Zac
Crude but Rude
Ask Zac - August 29 '99- 9:30 PM EDT

What a day.. I went to see my 3 month old cousin, which was supposed to take about a couple hours or so and ended up taking ALL day. Also, it's getting to be fall and my alergies are acting up, meaning my eyes are itching severely and nose to run. I apologize for the late update but it was out of my control.

Does anyone care anymore?
Hey ZacSageDudeQ&AMan
Am I the only one that remembers Thor? RPGamer has been through loads of Q&A guys, and no one has seemed to care when they left. I'm just wondering if people still care about Thor?
The talk of the computer rpg scene will never be crpgs. Its always emulation (*cough* SD 3 and FF5*) or RPG Makers (Don't yall gimme that megazaux crap, VERGE 4 life). Trust me. Theres thousands of emulation scene people, and about 500 VERGE Users. I'd love to see the line of CRPGers.
So, speaking of SD3, did you ever play it. Which characters did you pick?
I noticed your name yesterday (Zac "that evil Shredder don't cut 'em no slack" Gochenour). Ninja Turtles rule! TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES... err.. yeah ^_^

-The Amazing "Hahahha... AV in a retarted Moogle suit...." Stump
BTW, I like Virtual Boy!!

Why would anyone care what Thor has to say when you can read me instead? Unfortunately upon Thor's return, I'm getting shafted. But he's living in the mountains or something now, living off the land, becoming one with nature and all. He writes in, saying you all should keep him in your prayers, and not to stop sacrificing 3 goats weekly to him or he may never make it back.
Oh yeah, I mean, who would want to play games on the PC anyway?
Heroes in a half shell, turtle power!

What the hell is pokemon?

Hey, I saw in your responses that you, too, hate wrestling. Can you please explain to me WHY people find it cool? I just don't get it. Also, can you explain what the hell Pokemon is? I have NO idea. All I know is there are little animals. Is it an RPG?


I couldn't tell you man, I think a lot of guys really get off on sweaty men rubbing and throwing each other in a choreographed display of manliness. It doesn't do much for me, though.
What the hell is pokemon? I think it's something to do with child pornography and beastiality, but it was badly translated and censored by NoA and ended up being a game about some kid running around increasing his collection of pets. What the hell is an RPG anyway?

All this talk about large breasts

Hey Zac, You may not already know this but....IT'S YOUR Q&A!!! where everyone is a winner. You could win the prize of $(.)500, but you have to print these questions in your column. You know how the game is played, so let's begin:
1)Nintendo has just made som clever marketing moves (their 64DD has a modem. Sound suspicious?). What, in your opinion, will be the best system?
2)In FF7, DID YOU KNOW that if you change Cloud's name to Jack it makes things more interesting in the Inside Cloud's Head/Nibelheim scene? (ie. "My name isn't's...Zack.") It adds confusion with it's identicalness. Nevermind!
3)Does it seem strange to you that Nintendo is calling their Project Dolphin a project? And, since high quality 64-bit is the next step, wouldn't they just upgrade the 64? (Hint: 64DD).
Okay, Zac, if you think you can answer these questions in your response, $(.)500 might be headed your way soon! Thanks for playing!

-The guy who always wanted to be a game-show host but couldn't

1) Oh yeah, releasing the DD in Japan is the smoothest marketting move by Nintendo since only God knows when. I'm tempted to say it's the hottest bit of news I've heard since Virtual Boy!
2) As if things weren't confusing enough in this game.
3) Whoever heard of calling a project "Project (name)"? Why would anyone want to make a better system when you can just add on to the one you already have? I mean, just look at Sega's 32X lock-on and it's unending success story.

Pokesnap's biggest fan

Hey Zac....
I can understand why Star Control 2 wouldnt be on the site. It isnt really a true RPG after all. Of course then one might ask why POKEMON SNAP is on the site? Ya ya I know its a mainstream hyped-up cliche game and is disturbingly popular just because of the name (mainly the name, but im sure it has somthing good about it.... somthing...) but i mean damn, ĄPokemon Snap!?, come on man.
sigh. How we have strayed from the path.

- John V.

What are you kidding me? Pokemon Snap is the best thing since Secret of Evermore. The whole gaming industry is flooded with people screaming, "Give me pokemon snap, a game where I can stay on a set course and take pictures of animals". But this is yet again another case of bad censorship, because in the japanese version you're actually taking the pictures of the pokemon for Oak's new porno mag and members-only internet site.

A wild boy, eyes shining with intelligence

hey Zac,
have you played the demo of septera core? it seems like a kewl game, what do you think about it..hmm i'm kinda wondering what title you'l put this under if you post it man,maybe it should be "RPG fan asks Questions" ..yah i'm unorigonal and i cant spell.I also have a hard time with capitol letters....I'm only 15, i dont need to type right i?


Septerra Core does indeed own. I recommend this beauty of a game to everyone.
Why in God's name would you need to type in this day and age? I hear there's a real shortage in manual labor.

Justification for NoA?

Hey Zac,
Zac, you're in a great position to answer this question, so I thought I'd ask ya. Have you ever played "Diablo" for the computer? I've never really noticed it on the PC (I think it got an award or something), but I went to Best Buy a few days ago, and found Diablo, for sale, for the PLAYSTATION, for 20 dollars! A famous non-expensive PC style RPG on the playstation? This was too good to be true. So I've contacted you to see if it really was true, o great PC gaming diety.
1) Have you ever played Diablo for the PC? Is it as cool as they say?
2) I know you don't own a playstation, but do you know anyone that has played this console version of diablo, and if so, is it any different (better or worse) than the PC version?
Thanks, and if this letter isn't important enough to post, could you please reply? I'll do you a favor. :P I haven't even came across a review of this game.

- Zack S.

I really understand what you mean about not being able to find anything out about Diablo. I mean, it's not like Blizzard has a diablo website or God forbid anyone still plays this game on In fact, I think that Diablo for the PC is just a big rumor, who would want to play it with other people over modem or internet when you can play a game meant to be played with a mouse with a playstation control pad? Who would review a game like this?

Old School speaks from the "dead"

the glorious day is almost upon us! in a couple weeks, many of us will set forth on our holy pilgrimage to our local videogame store to bathe in healing light of final fantasy viii. but i ask, is it really worth it? as many of you have, i too have been waiting for ff8 to come out, but the more information i read & see about it, the less appealing it seems, & i'm sure that this appauls the vast majority of ff fans. i believe that ffvii was a lowering of standards in role playing games. you call cloud a hero? final fantasy i didn't give you enough personality to really get involved with the lives of the characters. ff6 on the other hand was a masterful work of art that should be remembered as the greatest rpg in existance. the player was presented with many unique, colorful characters that had emotions, and personality. the villain? the best villain from any rpg! kefka has been one of the best drawn, most interesting villains of all time. how can ffvii comapre to this? the lack of fmv's in ff6 has only left more to the player's imagination, & leaves a bigger impression on the player. by the end of the game, you cared about the characters. ffvii on the other hand, gave you too much of the characters, and it took away from the imagination factor. instead of creating the story, it felt like you were watching a movie, in which you had very little control over the characters' lives. the fmvs went further by showing you exactly how the characters looked, which for me, gave me no enjoyment whatsoever. with the soon-to-be-released ffviii, its the same thing, but this time, the characters are very similar. more fmvs will make the game unenjoyable for many old-school gamers, and less exciting. well, zac, prepare for an onslaught of people responding to this one.

till next sign,
janus: "final fantasy 7 basher extraordinaire"
p.s. wow, i got through that entire letter without using a capital letteR. oops...

I get plenty of letters redeeming the glories of FF4 ever since it was publically bashed. Now, here's one gamer's thoughts on the new age. Will the debate ever end? Find out next time, and the time after, and the time after, on "Days of Our Lives (spent in front of a glowing screen)".

Turncoat apologizing to enraged Canadians who fight back

Heya Zac, the great Q&A guy for PC,
First I must correct what I said on Friday. Ben pointed out that I said, "They aren't even in the stores up here in Canada, and I'll be like the very first to have a reserved copy from a department store (getting mine from the Sony store)." Now what I'm correcting is I meant I couldn't find a single store that would reserve me a copy of FF8, but the Sony store. I tried, but everywhere I should be able to get one told me that I'd just have to wait till it came out.
Sorry about that goof up. Maybe I should stop writing letters at like 3 in the morning when I've been up for about 18 hours straight.
You've played Baldur's Gate, right? You remember those mines in Cloakwood Forest? Well, I'm at the part on level two or three, where all these wizzies, rangers, and fighters come blitzing out and just level me after I open up the door to get there... What do I do? I've got an two rangers, a fighter, a paladin, and a druid. I just don't have enough time to react to save at least half of my guys.
If you'd like a little more info on where I am, I'm just after you find the Dwarven fellow whose the last of the people who lived in the mines.
Could you please help me? I really would like to get past that part. Thanks.

Farewell for now, DJ

Well, I decided to be nice and give you a chance to redeem yourself.
You need to bait the enemies. Thank you for calling Black Isle Game Help. Expect a fee on your credit card.

Turncoat apologizing to enraged Canadians who fight back

Dear Zac "Cute As A Button" Gochenour,

Oh Mighty RPG Sage, please help me, your loyal fan and peon with her pathetic little problem.
You see, I have beaten both FF5 and FF6 by usng roms, so would it really be a worthwhile investment for me to buy FFA? I can't really afford to buy games very often, so it's really important to me not to waste my money.
I don't like the idea of buying something I already have, but I'd like to see what's new and improved about the games, and I have also never heard the music before, because I don't have a sound card and speakers on my computer.

Your loyal peon,
PS I really envy everyone who gets to work side-by-side with you! ^_- Lucky ducks!

Zac "Cute As A Button" Gochenour:
This is a plight of, I would imagine, many gamers. To buy, or not to buy Final Fantasy Anthology. My advice is not to buy it if you've already played the games. But for those of you who haven't played them for any number of reasons (including legal), I would suggest buying Anthology. But buying it "just for the FMVs" will definitely not be worth it unless you wipe your ass with dollar bills.
Yeah, those lucky ducks ;p

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Hello Zac,
I Just Wanted To Know Is There A RPGamer Newsletter ( Or Some Thing That Would Tell Us To Go To RPGamer To see The Updates)
-Jonathan Heaven

The Closest Thing We Have To That Is index.html Which Is Updated Every Day And Tells You What Has Been Updated.

...hey, you're cuter than Thor. Heh heh.
Kiruna Vega Ambryu

Uh, thanks.

What is this damn Y series that everyone keeps on blabbing about?!

Ahh.. Why yes, Ys. (not pronounced the same)

Teenage mutant ninja turtles. Turtle power.
- Hayabusa, the kid who got stuck playing shreddar and April all the time in Kindergarten.

Ha, ha.. Loser ;p

Well, that's a wrap. Another weekend. JD's up for the week.. And I'm dead tired. Signing out,

Zac "Nocturnal Update" Gochenour
They're the world's most fearsome fighting team..

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