Ask Zac
Mmm, Juicy!
Ask Zac - August 28 '99- 6:30 PM EDT

Well folks, it's that time again! Thanks for tuning in to RPGamer, your website for juicy Zac goodness, for another absolutely delicious Q&A column. Alright, I'm ready, time to watch letters fly.

FF8 or Bust
'Sup Zac?
It is good to see a PC RPGamer in a world dominated by console addicts. I have a few questions for you regarding Final Fantasy VIII.
1. What exactly is the story behind FF8? I have heard many rumors including a love story, and a link between FF7 and 8.
2. Have you heard any news or rumors about a PC version of FF8? I don't have a Playstation, but FF7 was good on PC, and I really want to play FF8.
3. I know this has nothing to do with FF8, but who do you think would win in a no-holds-barred steel cage deathmatch: Kefka, Zeromus, or Sephiroth?

The man bearing the rusty spoon and absurdly huge sword, The Great Banandy Man

The PC is just another platform. It's different than console in that there are less limits in space and with the proper hardware the games run much faster with superior graphics than consoles - the problem is it costs much more to keep up to date.
1) I can't tell you exactly, that would ruin the game right? It's a modern-type adventure with sci fi and fantasy elements (who would've guessed?) with a plot that does involve love. No links to FF7.
2) The PC version of FF8 should (estimate) be out before Christmas. It is not a rumour, it definitely exists and will be released.
3) Zeromus would own. I mean, the thing is concentrated hate, now THAT'S a villain there. Kefka would die without his laser beams, and Sephiroth can be killed easily by a bunch of dead knights.

Enraged Canadians Fight Back

Hey Zac,
This is a reply to the DJ fellow who wrote yesterday. I don't know what part of Canada he's in, but FF8 is coming to stores."They aren't even in the stores up here in Canada, and I'll be like the very first to have a reserved copy from a department store (getting mine from the Sony store). " indeed. Has he heard of EB? Yes we DO have that in Canada. How about Toys R Us, Wal Mart (shudder) etc. We have everything the yanks have, plus health care (fine, minus job rates, and money value). Anyway, next time you hear from a DJ saying "We don't even have that up here in Canada" nuke him. Or, at least be very frosty in your reply.
PS, Zac, you moderately rock. You could use a little humour, but I'd say you are at least a 7/10.

- Benbola

Uh, go Canada. A fine example, as Ben here pointed out, of corporate America's imperialism (i.e. EB, Wal-Mart, and Toys R Us). But, Canada rocks, I'd give it at least a 7/10 ^_^ no, seriously, I'm a fan of Canada, I'd like to live there. How's that for humour?

PC Q's

I have a couple questions for you, so (drumroll) here they are.
1. Have you played the Quest for Glory series? Don't say yes or no. I will know you have if you can name Erasmus's favorite beverage.
2. What the heck is up with the word forsooth?
3. When will the fanfiction section be updated? It has been some time.
Thanks for reading, oh sexy, sexy Don Juan (Corneo?) of the Q&A world

Moogle "Hey, the spell-checker tried to change fanfiction to fornication!" Child

1) Is it.. Diet Mountain Dew? No? Damn. We do have coverage on the games but I have not played them all through, no.
2) Nothing is "up" with it, it's an archaic word, and it sounds cool.
3) Amber works hard. Cut her some slack. The fanfics section will be updated soon. I also just got word that her computer is acting up, so it may be longer. Sorry.

Why isn't ____ on your site?

Greetings Zac,
Apparently you are the PC RPG expert or at least you are knowledgeable on the subject of PC RPGs, and since you have at least some power in the world, at least concerning PC games, i figure you are the person to ask this question. Now, on to the question... (cringing teeth, trying to stay calm and trying to refrain from using 'colorful' words) why... isnt... Star Control 2... included... on.. this... nice... site... (now back to normal), thats it, just wondering why such a great RPG (and game in general) isnt to be found on this site. It is after all, in my opinion, the best sci-fiction RPG in existence, even if it is pretty old (in computer years).

- John V.

Star Control 2 really isn't an RPG. But it's close, and I would cover it if enough viewers cared. We're an RPG site, not a PC gaming site. Sorry, but I like to stay in the RPG niche. It's enough work.

Fire Emblem 64 Thoughts

Hey Zac,
I've wrote into JD five billion friggin times about Fire Emblem, nothing. Some psycho mails in asking about FE64 and he prints it? Yeesh....anyway. Fire Emblem 5 just came out in Japan via preorders. It's for Super Famicom and looks hella nice... Good luck anyone getting it though. I know a handful of Americans getting it, more like one for each finger. Anyway, fire Emblem 4 is great, I own it. One of my fav. RPGs. Anyway, FE64 may have been announced by Nintendo but just wait...Intelligence System is the company who makes Fire Emblem for Nintendo. Well the series is great but from what I know many of the people who made the series what it is have left Intelligence Systems to form their own company. So if FE64 even happens it won't be the same. Remember, just because they say a game but come out doesn't mean it will. All of us are in America, we can't clarrify news in Japan and be 100% sure, right? We can't say FE64 might even be made in Japan because even if you guys or other places have correspondants in Japan things can change real fast, right? Anyway, that's it for now. Anyone who wants any of the Fire emblem games be prepared for a long search...the 4th one was hard enough to find. I know of a place who had the third one, the same store where I got the 4th game actually....
Tristan Adnade

We don't have any Japanese correspondents on our staff. Anyone want to apply? ^_^

Old School Thoughts from our Impressario

Hey Zac,
Heylas. In response to JD's collumn yesterday where it says Old School is Dead, I have the awnser to the q's ^_-
A. Have you EVER been hit with a frying pan?!?! Those things hurt!!!
B. The hole of the well is shaped like a cone. With this in mind, as the key is dropped, the key falls instantly down the slanted path into the keyhole. Of course, if they were to just throw it in there and the key landed key-handel down, they're screwed. Game over, Zemus rules the world.
C. Do you forgive the government for stealing our money and using it for things like Clinton's legal fund?
D. "Easily" isn't a very good word. He struggled with it because Golbez was about to leave forever. If you found out you had a brother, would you decide to forgive him in person knowing you would never see him again?
As for reasons for disliking a game because of some crap reason like fmv or gameplay or god forbid, music, I think it's retarded. Someone told me yesterfday, You can question facts- "You did this." "No I didnt!", but you can't question opinions. "I felt this." "No you- err...". A good friend of mine seems to try to convince me FF7 is the best game ever. I however, prefer the style of FF5. It's all about opinion. I liked FF7, but it isn't my fav ff. I like FMV and the great graphics, but for the nice showyness, it takes away from imagination. When characters have the same face or little expressions, it has more imagination than when it *shows* every move a character makes. But all good things must come to an end. The graphics of then are gone, and the graphics of the future are coming. So, I'll leave this to settle in the antipode collumn of Q and A.
Zhai`helleva, Mark Jordan

I got a lot of letters about this, but I feel this one says it all. Thank you, Mark Jordan.

What's the big deal?

Hey Zac,
All I have to ask is,
What is the big deal with the dreamcast? I don't mean to insult anyone, but this system comes from the same company that had only very few RPG for it's Genesis Platform(from which I only got to play Phantasy Star 4), and just lost it's spark after that. Also, the only games I own for a sega system are only the WHOLE Sonic series, Phantasy Star 4, and thats it. I just wanna know why this is getting SO much attention. And don't even mention LUNAR 1 or 2, since I was a deprived child who played neither of them. I had to just put the genesis in storage since two years ago, then switched to SNES, PS, and N64! All I feel is that SEGA is trying, in one last ditch effort, to make a comeback, and just need to also know, what is so great about it?
IFON Roofs

Check our upcoming games section, there are many high-quality RPGs slated for release on the Dreamcast. I think it would be a worthy buy if you're a fan of any of the series of games coming out for it. Genesis and Saturn both had good RPGs too, it's all a matter of taste. N64 has a few good games, but no good traditional RPGs. But it does well with a variety of age groups, mainly America's youth, but it's still a matter of taste. Personally I'm not buying a DC, but that's because I can't afford it. C'est la vie.

Rimshots and Conan, the Cimmerian?

Hey Zac,
Dude, a rimshot is just a single beat of the drumstick that hits both the head and rim of the drum. What you're talking about is the brief drumroll, rimshot, and occasional hit of the cymbal.
Percussion rules.
Ever played Conan the Cimmerian? Do you know how to beat the weird boss at the magnetic monument in the jungle? Can't find anything on this game......but it's so cool........spam.

I stand corrected on the rimshot point. And.. conan the cimmerian... no, can't say I have. I can't figure out if this is a joke or not, so I'll leave it mysterious.


Hey Zac,
I'm sorry I have to do this, but I'm going to correct JD through your column. A "jabroni" is not really "A No Talent" (in a way it is), it's another term for a jobber, but only The Rock says "Jabroni" in the WWF. A jobber is a loser. And sometimes winners job (lose) for reputation. The JOB Squad's Al Snow said once before, "Pin me and pay me."
Dan GC
P.S. All trademarks and the such are copyright to their rightful owners.

I hate wrestling.

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Print this letter you lousy bum.
-Muddy Mud Skipper

Alright. That'll be $23.99, pay at the first window please. Next!

Am I the only guy in the WHOLE WORLD proud of owning a Virtual Boy???
-Mr.Burger, The only tree eating lunatic in town!

Probably. I'll report this to anomalies control, you'll be dealt with appropriately.

Repent ye gamers! The end of the world is nigh! The second coming of Sega shall rend this world asunder, with fire from the skies! Dreamcast cometh!

Yes indeed my brethern, prepare yourselves. None shall know the time or the place, the only indication we have is the scrolls which say "September 9th, 1999".

Heya Zac. Any chance of my gettin' in the third spot in your quickies? :)

Not a chance. Never.

Well another exciting week, counting down the days before school. I better go enjoy some of the time off, now, actually. With that being said I'll go, with just a little present for the ladies since JD is always posting those pics of C.A. (whom I am starting to find annoying and not so attractive). The present is a picture of yours truly, last month.

Zac "that evil Shredder don't cut 'em no slack" Gochenour
While JD tosses salads, I prefer keeping my food in the kitchen. Eww, JD. Eww.

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