Amy Lynn Holbrook, esq. rocks!
Today is a Monday. What do you want from me, blood? Lets just get on with the
letters before I get a hankering to do some damage.
|~What in the world is Tenchi Souzou~|
I heard about a japanese snes rpg named Tenchi Souzou. Can you tell me
more about this game? (people who knew it said that it is a good game)
From Enix's page:
From out of the conflict between darkness and light, one young man sets out on a journey to revive the
world. The pinnacle among dramas about the creation of heaven and earth, this action role playing game
unfurls amidst beautiful graphics and a magnificent story.
It appears to be a your standard Action/RPG, made by Enix sometime after they decided Americans
didn't like RPGs. Other smart business moves made by Enix include
using raipers instead of swords, replacing blue spiky hair with green spiky hair,
and completely removing "nasty text stuff".
|The case of the missing series|
I was wondering if there are any plans for a Breath of Fire 4 for PSX 1
or 2, or if Capcom is going to scrap Bof as it did Megaman.
As far as I know, BoF3 sold pretty well, so chances of a sequel are pretty
good. Lord knows Capcom's never had any qualms with making sequels...|
Also, I was wondering which Final Fantasy your Majesty thought was the hardest: 1 or
- The Jackal
FFIIj, but probably just 'cause I wasn't given strategies and help from
magazines and friends, due to it's, er, non-existant US release. |
It seems no one I know off-line knows anything about RPG's besides FF7.
For example, me and a friend of mine are talking about video games. He
keeps babbling about the crappy N64, then I start talking about RPG's.
Then he starts talking about how great FF7 is. Then I say how cool
Xenogears or how much I wanna play Thousand Arms or Grandia for PS. Then
he slaps a clueless look on his face and says,"what's that?". Then I tell
him about it and he says"whatever man, I'm gonna go play Golden Eye". I
have nothing against ff7 but these people are kinda pathetic. It seems no
young teenagers in Canada(I'm 13) or anyone for that matter knows a great
deal about less popular Role Playing Games. I'm sure there are people in
Canada who know about them but I feel so lonely.
- Adam Dunlop
There's nothing pathetic about them. They simply have different taste in
games. It really depends on perspective. Just as you can call him pathetic
for not knowing of Grandia -- a Saturn RPG which wasn't even
released in America -- he could call you pathetic for not knowing the
difference between Heretic II and Hexen.
Anyway, enough lecturing for today. If your friends up in the land of
beer, hockey and igloos aren't into other RPGs, don't yell at 'em,
introduce them to new games. I'd find out what they liked about Final
Fantasy VII -- storyline, graphics, gameplay, etc -- and then loan them
an RPG which excells in that category. Chances are, they'll be hooked,
and might even stop playing Goldeneye. For a little while, anyway.
|FFVpc info for you!|
Dark Elf asked you about FFV PC screenshots he/she had seen and read an
article about. I'm writing to you cause...well...Mike is anticipating
Shadow Madness more than Lunar and that, frankly, scares me.|
You're not the only one. I mean, we all liked FFVII at least a little, but
I don't think anyone liked it as much as Mike. Thing is, no one told him
SM wasn't an exact clone of FFVII. In other words, he's expecting
Aeris to make a return. Poor guy, nobody has the heart to tell him different.|
When I interviewed for a job at Squaresoft, one of the guys interviewing me was
the (disgruntled) programmer for FFV PC. The project WAS, in fact,
completely 100% finished. Square canned it literally at the last moment.
Woolsey did not translate it because Woolsey works for CRAVE! Not Square.
Wish people would get that. It's been like three years. |
Yeah, I know. I just heard that Ted translated FFV back when it was going
to be released in America for the SNES. I think I'll drop Woolsey a line and
ask him myself, so no need to send in replies. You'll hear a definitive answer
PS. as a side note...all of the Square localizers were asian, and I don't think any
of them were born in America. That could possibly explain why the
translations are so...broken.
Yo Thor and Ask Thor Readers:
How'd you like the latest RPG? That's right, the "Legend of Thor Gets
Some," created by me, Amy Lynn Holbrook w/RPG Maker 95. Note: This game
gets a triple x-rating for some, uh, you know. Don't even ask where I got
those explici-I mean revealing pictures of Teri though.
- Amy Lynn Holbrook, esq.
Hence the title of todays Ask Thor. :D|
|Bribery at its lowest|
Here's one more. Maybe the cover or box art to "legend of thor gets
some?". Last thing, promise, but I hadda share this w/ you. Is this not
the best shot of Teri's ass you've ever seen?|
Um, heh, maybe we're taking this Teri Hatcher running gag just a smidgen too far.
(Isn't that just the creepiest photo you've ever seen? It's like, filmed in
"Stalker Vision" or something.)
Now that I'm on your good side, I was wondering if you've played the
Dragon Warrior series on the NES (mainly number 4). Their what started me
on rpg's, followed by FF2...is there any word of translating the DW
gameboy color version? It be awesome, and ot be able to buy the game
without paying $50!
- some guy
Sending me pictures of scantly clad women is not how you get on my
good side! It's demeaning, embarrassing for my more sensitive readers,
and a pretty cheap way to try and get printed. You should be ashamed
of yourself! Besides, everyone knows you on my good side is by sending over
hookers dressed like french maids.|
|Gee -- ya mention hookers and look who shows up!|
I'm trying to put those nasty days of posting FFVII hentai behind me,
thank you. I've grown since then, I've matured, I'm· not fooling you.
(In whisper like tone) "Send all porn to jboor @cravegames.com, thanks!"
See you guys at E3,
- Jay Boor
Hey! Well, what do ya know. Jay Boor reads my Q&A column. That's kind
of like Stephen King reading my short stories. I feel tingley all over!
Sadly, I most likely will miss E3. Sorry to disappoint everyone hoping
to kick my ass, you'll just have to wait until next year.
|Opening up an almighty can|
(If you hate spoilers for basically every RPG, don't read this)
I usually don't carry topics over from last Friday, but so many RPGamers wrote
in bragging about their quick kills, I simply had to print a few. Enjoy.|
There is a way to kill the boss of Final Fantasy Tactics in two turns, if your party consists of
Ranza, Orlandu, Agrias, a summoner and a knight.
Altima is very succeptable to Holy magic. You have Orlandu and Agrias use
Holy Explosion twice, the summoner with a high faith and short charge
casts zodiac in two turns doing abouot 700+ damage, Ramza use a strong
attack, like make him a knight with a two swords ability and two
excaliburs or chaos blades, and do the same with the last knight. Altima
should be dead by then.
It takes a long time, but it's fun to be able to overpower the enemies
like that. heh. Just thought you should know.
- Deo Zero
Thor, could you please forward the following to Resident Square God:
Yo RSGod! I know another boss beatable within 2 turns. Zeromus. Build
your levels to at least 60 or 70. Use the Duplication trick to make a lot
of Excaliburs. Go to Zeromus and taunt him or something. Anyway, just
have Rydia cast Meteo, Kain Jump, Cecil attack, Rosa cast White, and Edge
throw Excaliburs. (BTW, Excaliburs and Meteo both deal 9999).
- The Flaming Mog
Hell if I could find RSG's letter. I'll just print it, and chances are, RSG'll
I have an easy last boss for you - The Dark Spider King from Mystic Quest.
Have Benjamin give him two shots of the CURE spell (I'm serious!) and for
the first time EVER in a Squaresoft RPG, you'll actually see a character
do 6 digits worth of damage!
Now for Castlevania:SOTN. The first of the two bosses, Shaft, can be
killed in two hits (well, swipes) if you have the Crissagen sword, 2 rings
of varda and high levels. While I haven't killed dracula in two hits, with
the same setup you can kill him in 2 SECONDS.
And then there's the ULTIMATE easy boss, the Creator from FFL1 (saga 1).
One hit with the saw from a Mutant, and BAM! he's cut in half in one hit.
Oh, and sorry for causing all that XXX FuSoYa stuff, it was a SARCASTIC
joke and I had NO IDEA that you'd print it, or if you did it would be in
"unprintable". I'm done with FF Hentai now anyway, I just met a REAL
woman. Do you know what it's like to be with a girl who loves nothing more
than playing FF8, Xenogears and Metal Gea all afternoon, and at the end of
the day complicates you on your MAD SKILLZ?
- Richard E Green
Good to see you've moved on from drawings of naked old men to actual women, Rich.
To answer your question, I have no idea what it's like to be with a girl who loves RPGs. And though
I do get my fair share of complements on my MAD SKILLZ from women, it's not
my gaming skills they're complementing, heh heh.|
|More fun than a barrel of hero|
Has it ever struck you as odd that in SOM, putting a barrel over your head
protects you from all kinds of deadly attacks, while wearing the legendary
armor of the gods does not? What's the big idea? "Look out, Hero! The Mana
Beast is coming at you! Quick, take off that armor and stick an old wooden
barrel on your head!" Maybe the enemies are supposed to be laughing at you
so hard that they leave you alone.
What's the deal with Shinyhat? I've printed like 62,000 of his letters.
Somehow, that inventive little bugger always finds a way to make me
laugh. It's almost disturbing! I'm scared. Hold me.|| ||
(Open all letters with "Yo, Thor" or die!)
|Like Old Crap?|
|Try the Archives|
(Beware the Typoes)
|Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?|
|The Hack Archive|
(Edit me. It's fun.)
|Quote of the Undetermined Amount of Time|
|"Legend of Legaia has an easy to follow storyline. That makes it a revolutionary RPG."|
(No explanation needed.)
Quickies are fun for girls and boys of all ages!
Are you the guy on Adventures in Babysitting who runs the car garage?
No way. That guy was a wussy.
Hey Thor; I know you've probably got about a million or so emails, but I
thought you'd like this after the dual shock string in "Ask Thor".
The Mushroom was recently suggested by a Computer Gaming World editor. EGADS
was recently suggested in... uh... Ask Thor. Gee, I wonder which is getting more
hits by now.|
You SUCK you perverted sick-minded long-haired son-of-a toothless red
rabbit with short ears. I hope you lose your job faster than you can say
the alphabet backwards.
Well, cool! Knowing me, that'd be at least two, three years.|
|Thor Stuff: Egotism at its finest|
This may sound weird, but I really need a picture of the "Space Stewardess"
from the Sci Fi channel's Sci Fi Prime fillers. You know, the raven haired
girl dressed in yellow latex who rotates on screen, smugly prattles off random
technobabble, and then fades to commercial. Thanks in advance.
And speaking of Jay Boor, really wants to track down the "A day with Jay"
video. The editors at PSX.IGN.COM are ignoring his pleas for help. His
honor must he avenged! So if anyone knows something, e-mail me the URL,
or whatever. (Please don't just e-mail the file, there's a chance
several of you have it, and I really don't want to wait for three
5mb files to download before I can get to the letters.)
Sorry about the late update. My computer crashed during the upload
process, and there was a wee tiny problem with the new archive format,
so todays Ask Thor was a good 15 minutes late. Dangummit.
Someone once told me that 1/7th of your life is spent in Mondays. He's
finally breathing on his own now, so lets all wish him a quick recovery
from the nasty beating he received. Heh, heh.
Thor "God of Blunder" Antrim
(In a whisper like tone) "Psst, Jay, do you already have tifaer16.jpg?"