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Amy Lynn Holbrook, esq. rocks!
 
 
Today is a Monday. What do you want from me, blood? Lets just get on with the letters before I get a hankering to do some damage.
 
~What in the world is Tenchi Souzou~
I heard about a japanese snes rpg named Tenchi Souzou. Can you tell me more about this game? (people who knew it said that it is a good game)

- hotohori

From Enix's page:
From out of the conflict between darkness and light, one young man sets out on a journey to revive the world. The pinnacle among dramas about the creation of heaven and earth, this action role playing game unfurls amidst beautiful graphics and a magnificent story.
It appears to be a your standard Action/RPG, made by Enix sometime after they decided Americans didn't like RPGs. Other smart business moves made by Enix include using raipers instead of swords, replacing blue spiky hair with green spiky hair, and completely removing "nasty text stuff".
 
The case of the missing series
Hello Thor,

I was wondering if there are any plans for a Breath of Fire 4 for PSX 1 or 2, or if Capcom is going to scrap Bof as it did Megaman.

As far as I know, BoF3 sold pretty well, so chances of a sequel are pretty good. Lord knows Capcom's never had any qualms with making sequels...
Also, I was wondering which Final Fantasy your Majesty thought was the hardest: 1 or 2j?

- The Jackal

FFIIj, but probably just 'cause I wasn't given strategies and help from magazines and friends, due to it's, er, non-existant US release.
 
Elitists unite!
Hey Thor,

It seems no one I know off-line knows anything about RPG's besides FF7. For example, me and a friend of mine are talking about video games. He keeps babbling about the crappy N64, then I start talking about RPG's. Then he starts talking about how great FF7 is. Then I say how cool Xenogears or how much I wanna play Thousand Arms or Grandia for PS. Then he slaps a clueless look on his face and says,"what's that?". Then I tell him about it and he says"whatever man, I'm gonna go play Golden Eye". I have nothing against ff7 but these people are kinda pathetic. It seems no young teenagers in Canada(I'm 13) or anyone for that matter knows a great deal about less popular Role Playing Games. I'm sure there are people in Canada who know about them but I feel so lonely.

Sincerly,

- Adam Dunlop

There's nothing pathetic about them. They simply have different taste in games. It really depends on perspective. Just as you can call him pathetic for not knowing of Grandia -- a Saturn RPG which wasn't even released in America -- he could call you pathetic for not knowing the difference between Heretic II and Hexen.

Anyway, enough lecturing for today. If your friends up in the land of beer, hockey and igloos aren't into other RPGs, don't yell at 'em, introduce them to new games. I'd find out what they liked about Final Fantasy VII -- storyline, graphics, gameplay, etc -- and then loan them an RPG which excells in that category. Chances are, they'll be hooked, and might even stop playing Goldeneye. For a little while, anyway.

 
FFVpc info for you!
Dark Elf asked you about FFV PC screenshots he/she had seen and read an article about. I'm writing to you cause...well...Mike is anticipating Shadow Madness more than Lunar and that, frankly, scares me.
You're not the only one. I mean, we all liked FFVII at least a little, but I don't think anyone liked it as much as Mike. Thing is, no one told him SM wasn't an exact clone of FFVII. In other words, he's expecting Aeris to make a return. Poor guy, nobody has the heart to tell him different.
When I interviewed for a job at Squaresoft, one of the guys interviewing me was the (disgruntled) programmer for FFV PC. The project WAS, in fact, completely 100% finished. Square canned it literally at the last moment. Woolsey did not translate it because Woolsey works for CRAVE! Not Square. Wish people would get that. It's been like three years.
Yeah, I know. I just heard that Ted translated FFV back when it was going to be released in America for the SNES. I think I'll drop Woolsey a line and ask him myself, so no need to send in replies. You'll hear a definitive answer soon e-nuff.
PS. as a side note...all of the Square localizers were asian, and I don't think any of them were born in America. That could possibly explain why the translations are so...broken.

- Kupan

 
!
Yo Thor and Ask Thor Readers:

How'd you like the latest RPG? That's right, the "Legend of Thor Gets Some," created by me, Amy Lynn Holbrook w/RPG Maker 95. Note: This game gets a triple x-rating for some, uh, you know. Don't even ask where I got those explici-I mean revealing pictures of Teri though.

- Amy Lynn Holbrook, esq.

Hence the title of todays Ask Thor. :D
 
Bribery at its lowest
Here's one more. Maybe the cover or box art to "legend of thor gets some?". Last thing, promise, but I hadda share this w/ you. Is this not the best shot of Teri's ass you've ever seen?
Um, heh, maybe we're taking this Teri Hatcher running gag just a smidgen too far. (Isn't that just the creepiest photo you've ever seen? It's like, filmed in "Stalker Vision" or something.)
Now that I'm on your good side, I was wondering if you've played the Dragon Warrior series on the NES (mainly number 4). Their what started me on rpg's, followed by FF2...is there any word of translating the DW gameboy color version? It be awesome, and ot be able to buy the game without paying $50!

- some guy

Sending me pictures of scantly clad women is not how you get on my good side! It's demeaning, embarrassing for my more sensitive readers, and a pretty cheap way to try and get printed. You should be ashamed of yourself! Besides, everyone knows you on my good side is by sending over hookers dressed like french maids.

 
Gee -- ya mention hookers and look who shows up!
Thor,

I'm trying to put those nasty days of posting FFVII hentai behind me, thank you. I've grown since then, I've matured, I'm not fooling you.

(In whisper like tone) "Send all porn to jboor @cravegames.com, thanks!"

See you guys at E3,

- Jay Boor

Hey! Well, what do ya know. Jay Boor reads my Q&A column. That's kind of like Stephen King reading my short stories. I feel tingley all over!

Sadly, I most likely will miss E3. Sorry to disappoint everyone hoping to kick my ass, you'll just have to wait until next year.

 
Opening up an almighty can
(If you hate spoilers for basically every RPG, don't read this)
I usually don't carry topics over from last Friday, but so many RPGamers wrote in bragging about their quick kills, I simply had to print a few. Enjoy.
 
There is a way to kill the boss of Final Fantasy Tactics in two turns, if your party consists of Ranza, Orlandu, Agrias, a summoner and a knight.

Altima is very succeptable to Holy magic. You have Orlandu and Agrias use Holy Explosion twice, the summoner with a high faith and short charge casts zodiac in two turns doing abouot 700+ damage, Ramza use a strong attack, like make him a knight with a two swords ability and two excaliburs or chaos blades, and do the same with the last knight. Altima should be dead by then.

It takes a long time, but it's fun to be able to overpower the enemies like that. heh. Just thought you should know.

- Deo Zero

 
Thor, could you please forward the following to Resident Square God:

Yo RSGod! I know another boss beatable within 2 turns. Zeromus. Build your levels to at least 60 or 70. Use the Duplication trick to make a lot of Excaliburs. Go to Zeromus and taunt him or something. Anyway, just have Rydia cast Meteo, Kain Jump, Cecil attack, Rosa cast White, and Edge throw Excaliburs. (BTW, Excaliburs and Meteo both deal 9999).

- The Flaming Mog

Hell if I could find RSG's letter. I'll just print it, and chances are, RSG'll see it.
 
I have an easy last boss for you - The Dark Spider King from Mystic Quest. Have Benjamin give him two shots of the CURE spell (I'm serious!) and for the first time EVER in a Squaresoft RPG, you'll actually see a character do 6 digits worth of damage!

Now for Castlevania:SOTN. The first of the two bosses, Shaft, can be killed in two hits (well, swipes) if you have the Crissagen sword, 2 rings of varda and high levels. While I haven't killed dracula in two hits, with the same setup you can kill him in 2 SECONDS.

And then there's the ULTIMATE easy boss, the Creator from FFL1 (saga 1). One hit with the saw from a Mutant, and BAM! he's cut in half in one hit.

Oh, and sorry for causing all that XXX FuSoYa stuff, it was a SARCASTIC joke and I had NO IDEA that you'd print it, or if you did it would be in "unprintable". I'm done with FF Hentai now anyway, I just met a REAL woman. Do you know what it's like to be with a girl who loves nothing more than playing FF8, Xenogears and Metal Gea all afternoon, and at the end of the day complicates you on your MAD SKILLZ?

- Richard E Green

Good to see you've moved on from drawings of naked old men to actual women, Rich. To answer your question, I have no idea what it's like to be with a girl who loves RPGs. And though I do get my fair share of complements on my MAD SKILLZ from women, it's not my gaming skills they're complementing, heh heh.
 
More fun than a barrel of hero
Thor Antrim,

Has it ever struck you as odd that in SOM, putting a barrel over your head protects you from all kinds of deadly attacks, while wearing the legendary armor of the gods does not? What's the big idea? "Look out, Hero! The Mana Beast is coming at you! Quick, take off that armor and stick an old wooden barrel on your head!" Maybe the enemies are supposed to be laughing at you so hard that they leave you alone.

- Shinyhat

What's the deal with Shinyhat? I've printed like 62,000 of his letters. Somehow, that inventive little bugger always finds a way to make me laugh. It's almost disturbing! I'm scared. Hold me.
 
<witty title>
Mail Thor
(Open all letters with "Yo, Thor" or die!)
 
Like Old Crap?
Try the Archives
(Beware the Typoes)
 
Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?
The Hack Archive
Thor Antrim: Anime Style
(Edit me. It's fun.)
 
Quote of the Undetermined Amount of Time
"Legend of Legaia has an easy to follow storyline. That makes it a revolutionary RPG."
- Wark_Wark
(No explanation needed.)
 
Quickies are fun for girls and boys of all ages!
Are you the guy on Adventures in Babysitting who runs the car garage? No way. That guy was a wussy.
Hey Thor; I know you've probably got about a million or so emails, but I thought you'd like this after the dual shock string in "Ask Thor".
- A.j.
The Mushroom was recently suggested by a Computer Gaming World editor. EGADS was recently suggested in... uh... Ask Thor. Gee, I wonder which is getting more hits by now.
You SUCK you perverted sick-minded long-haired son-of-a toothless red rabbit with short ears. I hope you lose your job faster than you can say the alphabet backwards. Well, cool! Knowing me, that'd be at least two, three years.
 
Thor Stuff: Egotism at its finest

This may sound weird, but I really need a picture of the "Space Stewardess" from the Sci Fi channel's Sci Fi Prime fillers. You know, the raven haired girl dressed in yellow latex who rotates on screen, smugly prattles off random technobabble, and then fades to commercial. Thanks in advance.
And speaking of Jay Boor, really wants to track down the "A day with Jay" video. The editors at PSX.IGN.COM are ignoring his pleas for help. His honor must he avenged! So if anyone knows something, e-mail me the URL, or whatever. (Please don't just e-mail the file, there's a chance several of you have it, and I really don't want to wait for three 5mb files to download before I can get to the letters.)
Sorry about the late update. My computer crashed during the upload process, and there was a wee tiny problem with the new archive format, so todays Ask Thor was a good 15 minutes late. Dangummit.
Someone once told me that 1/7th of your life is spent in Mondays. He's finally breathing on his own now, so lets all wish him a quick recovery from the nasty beating he received. Heh, heh.

Yeah, baby! Take it off! Take it ALL OFF! Thor "God of Blunder" Antrim
(In a whisper like tone) "Psst, Jay, do you already have tifaer16.jpg?"

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