See Thor. See Thor blunder. Bad Thor, bad!
If you wrote in to tell me it was Chocobo Racing, skip to Thor Stuff for a special treat. If you're one of the three readers who didn't, enjoy the rest of the column.
Something fishy this way smells
Hey, NorseQuestioning/AnsweringGodperson,

I'm a bit confused (as if I was in any other state of mind 24/7...) about something when I was playing through whatever. I got my hands on a copy, and suffered through Palom and Porom, the most annoying RPG characters ever (next to Rafa and Malak and Edward and Gau..). Annnyway, as I was playing through, I thought of something. In Super Mario RPG, there was a hidden boss called Culex, with his four crystals and the FF2 (or 4, for the purists..) boss music. I've beaten FF2 already, but I didn't see any Culex. Have an answer for that?

- OnyxClaw, who thinks it's too hard to type and play SNES with a straitjacket on.....

Me and my favorite Elder God (Snarggsorligoph the Itchy) spent a good two hours trying to track this one down. Sadly, we could come up with no solid evidence, but we're pretty sure Culex was from Final Fantasy 3j.

Ever wasted a bunch of time and then wonder what you could have been doing instead? Don't. It's depressing.

I seem to recall hearing somthing about Lunar way back when that caught my interest until I realized that I couldn't afford it. Then the game just slipped out of my mind completely until just now when a delay or 2 freed up some assets. Anyway, I'd like to just check if my memory is correct on this point: Is Lunar SSSC a single RPG being ported off the Sega CD, or is it a copilation of a series of RPGs? If it's a series like I seem to recall hearing a few months ago I'll probably have to get it. (Heck I'd buy all the Dragon Warriors if they were on one CD)
Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete is a remake of the Sega CD cult classic Lunar. There are a few changes and updates, including the removal of half the text (most of it was useless, so no Xenogears "sixty page NPC chat" syndrome); a general graphics update with higher resolution and more colors; the difficulty was balanced; and new Chrono Trigger-style random encounters, so you can dodge attacks, and even fifty minutes of FMV.

RPGamer thought about doing a behind the scenes disc for a while, until we realized that it'd just alienate our fans. The guys would feel distraught they can never have the beauty that is Lorelai, and the girls would be turned off by Mike Tidwell, who insists on walking around in nothing but boxer shorts and a white Angora sweater with nothing underneath. Creepy.

Hey, random thought here, why didn't anyone bitch about Lunar's FMV the way they did with Final Fantasy 7's? I guess it's only evil when Square does it.

(Xenogears spoilage)
Hiya Thor!

Okay, I was playing Xenogears and at the beginning of the game I was wandering around the first town thinking 'everybody in this town is happy! That means that 95% of the people there are going to die!' When it hit me. what game started that cle...cel...damnit! Cle-sha? Also what game started the 'big strong guy one-on-one fight'? Are there any other cle-shas(so I can't spell) I've forgotten when it comes to RPGs?

- Ami Q3 'the turtle moves ;) '

The first RPG to start the trend of one-on-one fights is probably Final Fantasy 2(4j), with the wicked-bad fight at Mt. Ordeals. The first RPG to open with the total destruction of your hometown was Final Fantasy 2j, which begins with your castle being trashed by an evil empire. How evil!

It's funny you brought this up, though, 'cause I was just wondering that myself while playing the Legend of Legaia demo. The game started, and I said, "Wow, what a cute lil' town! I give it twenty minutes." Heh heh, great minds think alike.

~Cid Cid Cid Cid Cid Cid Cid~ (To the tune of Monty Python's "Spam")
Hey Thor,

I remember way back when we just started hearing about FFVIII and the first characters were released. People said what celebrity the characters looked like. Well, the other day I decided to take a second look at Cid in FFVIII. When I did it hit me like a ton of bricks (and I know how much those hurt). Cid in FFVIII looks like Elton John! I was wondering if it was just me that thought this, but then I asked my friend and he agreed. Will you put up one of your comparison pictures and see how many other people think the same thing...that is, if you think there's a resemblance?

"You rock my face off Thor!"

Peace out!

- Michael (Final Heaven)

Hmm... yes, tons. Man -- first Grey is based on Brad Pitt, then Laguna bears more than a passing resemblance to Sandra Bullock, and now Cid could pass for Elton John's butch sibling. Gee, ya think Tetsuya Nomura likes American culture? (And don't even think of bitckering Elton John's "American culture" status with me, bub.)
"Square sucks!"
hi thor (i am also norweigan. coo!),

square's 1999 lineup was just officially announced consisting of ff8 (could've fooled me!), ff anthology (sans ff4? dammit), ehrgeiz (kick you in the nuts!), chocobo's dungeon 2 (how cute!) and chocobo's racing (where's mario?). coo! anyway, legend of mana was nowhere on the list. though with a release date of june in japan, 1999 is probably too early for north america. spring 2000 maybe? the thing is, we didn't get seiken densetsu 3, so if square doesn't release legend of mana, i'm going to have to storm into their office with fists flying! what do you think? does it have a good chance of reaching us? this game is just too good to pass up, and like coughing up $120 for mana 3, i'd do it for legend of mana without hesitation!

- lemonLime

Call me crazy, but I'd rather Saga Frontier 2 than a Mario Kart clone.

I think the chances of a 2000 US release are fair. Unless Square is totally deaf to the pleas of its fans, they shold have a pretty good idea of how much we wanted SD3 translated. Passing up SD4/LoM would be the equivalent of of WWF firing "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, digging up Andre the Giant, propping up the rotten skeleton in-ring and yelling "lets get ready to rumble!". Well, okay, it's nothing like that, but it's still pretty fun to think about. :D

For the man who has more computers than friends
I have another insight on the Mustadio theory. It might simply be that he has no idea how to respond to girls. He doesn't appear to have a mother, sister, or any other close female relative living nearby. Also, he's an engineer, which means he's probably in the lab/workshop all day, and doesn't have much of a social life. Trust me, I've met quite a few male engineers/scientists who fit this description. ^_- You have no idea how frustrating this is for us female engineers.

Take care!

- Kira Cyana

Interesting theory, though my readers should note these Mustadio letters are printed just for fun, and aren't to be taken too seriously. (Well, except the bit about Mustadio being gay -- I caught him checking out Ramza's back porch in the opening cinema; there's just no question about it!)
Oh my L.o.R.D.
Hey sexypants, ( took my nickname!!! :)

Well anyways, have you ever played the classic BBS (bulletin board system, for those who live in closets, basements, or bomb shelters) RPG- Style doors games? They were more fun than lots of games i've played on PSX! (hard to believe, i know) there are hundreds of people playing at once, not many graphics, and in some cases, illegal activities, no questions asked. Like Usurper ( classic gaming at its best ), you can kill, steal, do drugs, pop steroids, visit whore houses and murder innocent people! and nobody gave a damn!

Cool, eh? ( yes, thats right, I'm CANADIAN, AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!!)

well, if anyone wants to try usurper or some other games like it, go to:

Ahh, good ol' door games. You know, I never could get into online games -- Quake is the only thing my PC can handle, and muds make me ill -- but to this day, one of my favorite games is the classic Legend of the Red Dragon, or LoRD for short. The concept is simple: A text based Dragon Warrior with multiple players. It may not sound like much at first, but give it a week, and you'll be cackling evilly with every player kill, sobbing like a newborn when someone breaks into your room and chops your block off, and flirting with the best of 'em.
For a quick laugh, piss off Ogre fans by pronouncing it "Ogg-ree
Hey master Thor person-

Ogre Battle 3 was announced to be released in Japan and I'm betting it was, but what happened to it coming here. (as in the US) I looked around on this page and they say it's supposed to come out early to mid '99. Although it isn't quite mid '99 yet, I still haven't heard any news about and was just about to have a conniption fit about it until I whiped the blood from my nose (that's not from crack snorting) and decided to write you. (that's definately from crack snorting) So help me out.

Bad news: According to IGN64.IGN.COM, Ogre Battle 3 won't be released until third quarter '99. Good news: It's being released at all. So grab Final Fantasy 7's tissue, wipe your nose, sit back and relax, 'cause Tacticrific fun is coming to your N64 this fall. (Man, I sound like a demented announcer, or something.
P.S. Prodigy could so whipe the floor Metallica : P
That's right -- Prodigy is a good enough band for Metallica to allow them to actually clean their floors. Few bands get the honor! <grin>
P.P.S. I'll take that Goth rough torture if you don't want it.

- Thrax-Plaguelord of the Skaven Council of Thirteen

Consider it yours, my plague-bearing friend.

t noun (PL. -ies) 1 a wild party, especially one involving excessive drinking and indiscriminate sexual activity: he had a reputation for drunken orgies.

n excessive indulgence in a specified activity: an orgy of buying. 2 (usu. orgies) historical secret rites used in the worship of Bacchus, Dionysus, and other Greek and Roman deities, celebrated with dancing, drunkenness, and singing.

÷ORIGIN early 16th cent.: originally plural, from French orgies, via Latin from Greek orgia 'secret rites or revels'

~Definition taken from the The New Oxford English Dictionary

From this point onward, would you please use the dictionary that is widely regarded as the best on Earth for your definitions? Merriam-Webster is generally regarded as a laughing-stock as far as English Dictionaries go. (It is second only to the fallible "Random House".) Above is a quote from its smaller companion, the New Oxford English Dictionary.

I believe you will find the Oxford English Dictionary very helpful. A visit to any university library, or the study of a Professor of the English Language, should put you within an arms length of this magnificent set of tomes. You can also own the entire work for roughly two thousand pounds sterling.

That is, if you have the funds to afford a twenty two volume dictionary.

Warmest regards to my least favourite letters column host: Thor Antrim.

p.s. For a person whose column is fraught with spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, and many a contextual faux pas, you might wish to avoid clarifying other people's English for them. You have been seen to throw a lot of stones for someone who lives in a house built entirely of fine-blown glass.

This especially so mentioned in a world with so many different definitions for words, not only regionally, but between dictionaries, pronounciations, and ethnic implified terms. One would think you should have more sense than to act as the "end-all, be-all" to all things English-Language... especially as an American(?), from what I have gathered.

Thus, in order to provide you with a view through another set of finely proportioned lenses, the Oxford English Dictionary is quoted above. Broaden your horizons a bit and learn that sometimes, there are two right answers to a question, and yours is not always one of them- whatever your ego may lead you to believe.


- Shawners

The truly hilarious thing is that yesterdays definition of "orgy" was correct, even according to OED; Shawners was just complaining because I used Merriam-Webster and didn't stick a three paragraph definition in a quickie.

In all my years, I've never heard of anyone bashing a dictionary. And not just bashing, yelling at someone for using the "wrong" dictionary. That's the equivalent of mocking someone not because they wear a pocket protector to school, but because they wear the wrong brand of pocket protector. Hope ya'll got as big a laugh out of this as I did.

Ya know, there's a word for people like Shawners -- and you sure as hell won't find it in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Wondering if you're an Un?
Ask Thor
(The fact that it was just an ad campaign for 7up really ticked me off.)
Like Old Crap?
Try the Archives
(Beware the Typoes)
Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?
The Hack Archive
Thor Antrim: Anime Style
(Edit me. It's fun.)
Quickies that satisfy
Why can't I access the Castlevania: Symphony of the Night stuff? I thought the server problem was fixed already. Ok, I'm done now. RPGamer is still riddled with holes. The missing files will return eventually, but for now, just stick with the new articles and hope for the best. This was covered in the Server Problems article, but if you skipped the technical explanation (as suggested), you probably missed it.
I want to _be_ you Thor...
- Dalai Lama
No you don't. You'd be pissed off constantly, you'd refuse to consume anything but beef jerkey and coffee, and you wouldn't cast a reflection. Try explaning that one to new neighbors.
I know You guys told us before but how do I get to the rpgamer chat thing? with idiots like me it goes in one ear and out the other. Just point your IRC client to and groove on into #RPGamer.
Thor Stuff

A few of you may be wondering why I didn't catch the CD cover question yesterday. I've decided to give you all a previously unknown glimpse into the "Q&A Process".
  1. Thor types in a "dummy" answer, a sort of cautionary tactic in case he doesn't find any more information later.
  2. Thor looks at picture.
  3. Thor notices the engine and Chocobo. "Hey," Thor says. "Might be Chocobo Racing."
  4. Thor checks around Game Music Online and Soundtrack Central. No luck. "Hmm... either that's not CR, or the OSV isn't out in America yet."
  5. Thor forgets to rewrite the dummy answer and suggest it's probably Chocobo Racing.
  6. Bad Thor, bad! No cookies for you today.
Quite a few of you happy lil' guys have been requesting the URL to my homepage. Well, I've no qualms with self-promotion as long as it's requested, but I just don't think my hompage is... ready for that much traffic yet. Lets wait until next Thursday and see what happens, mmm?

Will the contributor for, ahem, another RPG related site please stop rushing on IRC and telling me how much I suck. I know I suck, I really don't need the 'competition' reminding me every other day -- and acting like a child won't win you respect any time soon.

Todays Ask Thor was brought to you by Merriam-Webster. Remember, kids:

"Merriam-Webster: Don't be like Shawners, read M-W!."

I love this job.

Shadow Zero Attack Mega! Thor "Deadry Ninja" Antrim
I'm such a rude little Yank, aren't I?

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