The worms crawl in / the worms crawl out
"Charming and witty"? What's that? I just babble and hope nobody catches on.

You know, it's always hard for me to think of an introduction. Do I sum up what to expect? Do I whip up a little o' the funny? Do I... oh, wait, I just remembered. But I'm not telling until tomorrow. Ha!

Cases? Against the law? I smell a pun.
Hey Thor(thought I'd be different and use that name)

I recently bought Legend of Legaia and it got me thinking again about something that has bothered me for awhile. Why the heck do RPGs on one disc have to come in double cases? Is there some unwritten law? Some people have told me its because the instruction manual is too thick but I don't buy that. I bring this up becaues I try to store all my cames in a CD Holder. I went out and bought a new one with 8 places for double cds and I'm already out of room.

- tsorovan

Hope your sister has plenty of change in her piggy bank, because it's time to 'buy it' -- most RPGs do indeed use double cases due to overweight instruction booklets. To test, I used Tactics Ogre's instruction booklet in Rogue Trip's case. At first I thought it was fine, until I flipped it over, and noticed that the left side of the case poked out a little. It's hard to notice, but if you run your finger across it, you can see that the case simply isn't big enough. Keep in mind this isn't really a rule, since not all RPGs have large instruction booklets. Like, Final Fantasy Tactics had a thin case. (But then again, that's just because the instruction booklet was absurdly skimpy.)
Mod Chip Madness.
A while ago on this site, the message about FF8 not working with mod-chip (import or copy of the game) was put up. Sadly I believed it. But just today my brother brought over an import copy of FF8 that he borrowed from his friend. I put it in to my mod-chipped playstation, and wala.... it worked fine, so I played it. Hmmmm, mabey sony lied to us about the new lockout, making a poor atempt at preventing us from importing or copying it. Well, it appears that they lied their asses off and it is just a bunch of B.S. What do you think about this, it obviously works on a chipped playstation.... is the whole new lockout system just a lie? Please explain.


- Eddie from Iron Maiden

Well, isn't this confusing. As far as I can gether, Final Fantasy VIII works fine, for a while, until FF8 does one of several checks at key points in the game. You need a Game Shark or Pro Action Replay and the code to complete the game and see what will undoubtedly be at least a mildly confusing, yet kickass ending. I wouldn't know; the only thing I import is .
Almost as elusive as the pink Chocobo
Hey, I was playing Secret of Mana the today, and it reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask you. Sometimes in the later part of the game, when you open a chest this little ninja jumps, looks left and right, then either jumps back in the chest, or runs away. When this happens, at the top of the screen it says "Shadow Zero". What is this??? Does it do anything? Or is it just another pointless detail like the face in the ocean on the northeast part of the map?

- Myrddin

Sheesh. It's been years since I played that sucker. I checked around and couldn't find one flarging scrap of information -- no one's even mentioned the mysterious lil' dude. It sounds too intricate to be a glitch, and far too petty for anyone to bother lying about, so I'm just going to guess it's some kind of easter egg.

While searching the net after my usual sources failed me -- or were sleeping, right now it's 4am -- I found a Secret of Mana site so good I couldn't resist but passing the URL on to you guys. Seriously, this site rules. The only thing it's missing is a little webmaster-written summery of each game -- as it stands, it's still a lovely archive with everything ya could possibly want.

Well. Except information on Shadow Zero.

"Wark wark was arressted this week for propositioning Nintendo..."
Boo! Hiss! That definition sucked. Nintendo can blow me. That definition is probably the reason they considered Quest 64 and Zelda 64 RPGs :) Merely having a fantasy base to a game does not make it an RPG. But we're treadin' dangerous grounds here (lets not re-start debate on "what makes a game an RPG" again), so I'll quickly close saying this- uh, darn...I had something really good, too. I hate forgetting cool things. Does that ever happen to you?
Hey man, Quest 64 is every bit the RPG Dragon Warrior was. Sucking isn't exclusive to the Action and Adventure genres. Anyway, yeah, it happens to everyone. Try taking lots of vitiman B-50, it helps the ol' brain pan. Also, get plenty of sleep, eat lots of fish, and study Tae-Bo. Sinbad swears by it, and we all know how ethical he is. That man would never compromise his morals for a quick buck. Nope. Nosiree. Not him.
And another thing. What happened to that "quote of the day" thing you had going? I read some pretty smart quotes, for the short time you had them up.

- Wark wark

I had to drop it after I realized Drew's redesign got kind of funky if you included too much text in the sidebar. Bummer.
An RPG fan defends something he likes? What a surprise!
What is that guy TALKING about? Video game movies rock! I've seen three, I think: Mortal Kombat, Double Dragon, and The Wizard! Come on, dude! If you overlook the basic fact that they suck, then you have to admit they're worth watching. I have three basic reasons for this opinion:
  1. Bad acting. Nothing beats watching people who can't act(ie the title characters from Double Dragon, the entire under-30 portion of the cast of The Wizard and most of the over-30 portion as well)
  2. Really bad lines: "It's kind of like the legend of zelda.. Link was trying to save the princess, and you're trying to find a house!" - Fred Savage, from the Wizard.
  3. Kick-Ass Bad Music from the 80s- This can be found in any video game movie from the 80s. It alone makes them well worth watching.
In conclusion, video game movies ROCK, and are well worth the money! Or, I'm on crack. Pick and chose.

- A.L.

Pick if you're on crack or not? I'm afraid you're the only one that can truly know for certain, A.L.. (Or is it just "A.L."? Grammar suck!) Bad movies are a guilty pleasure of mine, but I find it difficult to watch them without some sort of enhancement. Say, the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or using various mind-altering drugs, or even living vicariously through a StompTokyo review.

The one bad movie that I really enjoyed, without any enhancements, and while still admitting it was awful -- I still say Cabin Boy rocked -- was Amityville: Dollhouse. Especially the hilarious and pathetic "bee" attack. Give it a rent, just beware the disturbing step mom/step son scenes. <shudder>

I'm glad I'm not T.G. -- I enjoy my nose. Far, far too much.
Hey, T.G. Thor!

What happened to the column that was called "Sinking to depths previously thought unattainable" or something. You know, the one in which you had a (censored) pic of Cloud and Tifa doing the "Beast with two backs". I can find no link to it, anywhere. Although I, personally, already read it, I bet there are thousands out there who didn't.

- Makkuro

It was lost, along with lots of other stuff during those technical hastles. It'll all return eventually, but for now, you'll just have to make due reading the badly written, semi-coherent tripe I pump out now, as opposed to the badly written, semi-coherent tripe I used to pump out.
Tee hee!
I hope you watched Futurama last night. When the lead charachter uttered the unforgettable "Lets Mosey" I almost died. I wonder if they knew what they were doing? I couldn't stop laughing.


- The Deuce

I doubt it. Videogames are still too "underground" for anyone to plant that obscure a quote in a prime time network show. It was still funny as Hades, though. Almost as good as the time Homer Simpson said "Off course!".

Okay, so that never happened. Fine. Sue me. I'll counter-sue for emotional damage! I'm untouchable, baby! I've got lawyers for my lawyers! Fear the spear!

You know, I was playing Super Mario World this weekend on my SNES. Then I saw...something. After you beat the game it shows pictures of all of the enemies and gives their names, and there is a lava monster called the Blargg!

- Paggledutas

Heh heh, groovy. I must admit, that wasn't my doing, though. Perhaps Nintendo translators were psychically connnected to me all those years ago. Of course, I didn't start using the word "Blarg" until I started dating a girl who said it a lot, but I don't care, man. Nintendo ripped me off. I'm conna sue! I'm gonna -- oh, wait. I did that act last letter. My my, how... awkward.

Say! Anyone feel like some quickies? Please?

Did the Boys Town National Hotline hang up on you?
Ask Thor
(Just don't tell me about your icky personal problems.)
Like Old Crap?
Try the Archives
(Beware the Typoes)
Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?
The Hack Archive
Thor Antrim: Anime Style
(Edit me. It's fun.)
How 'bout a Quickie or two?
to the guy who thought the logo is fake, the star ocean series is a star trek spinoff anyway Uh, okay.
NO QUICKIES ON MONDAY!!!! You shall now gothrough tourture by meens of TELLETUBBIES!!!! Goth rough torture? No! If there's one thing I fear, it's rough torture from goths. Why, I can see it now... me strapped to a chair, The Cure blaring in the background, and and a pale waif reading me bad poetry about his parents divorce, and why his teacher should be killed by plague bearing rats. Help!
All the streets (or most) in Silent Hill are named after authors who write horror or sci-fi stories. For example(s): Bachman, Koontz, Bradbury, and so on. And if you played Silent Hill and didn't spot these, you're uncultured and uncivilized and need to read more often.
- Mega Memory Card
Uncivilized? Pfft. That's big talk from a $15 accessory. :D
Thor Stuff

I've been meaning to post this picture forever, and I've finally got a chance. Drawn by Christine Houser, the picture in question is tres cool, if not just a tiny bit stylized. (I don't look quite that buff or mature. Give me a decade or two, I'm still 18.)

For once, I'm going to try and pop off to bed before 10:00am. Wish me luck!

- Thor "Thor" Antrim
Did you ever watch while the herst goes by?

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