Egged on by the high number of locker room jokes, inspired by Cloudy's support
of Billy, or just compelled to write by my boyish good looks, female gamers
have swamped my in box with letters. Well, not swamped, but it's pretty
|It's always good to double check. Especially when I give an answer.|
Hey RPGu-.......aiiiie! Hey Thor!
Do you think that Legend of Mana has a good chance of coming to America?
I'm hoping and praying, here. GIA said it had a good chance, but I thought
I'd get a second opinion to be sure.
- Wandering Prophet
According to my brand new Ouiji board and the ghost of Elvis Presley,
the chances of Legend of Mana making it to america are greater than "three
hogs playing poker in a slime barrel". While it's unknown what this actually means,
chances are the King was hinting at a probable U.S. release. Well, either that,
or he just made a pretty good argument against heavy drug use.
|Name that, uh, dog|
On the #rpgamer chat last night - for some reason, we got to talking about
wolves. Someone stated that a wolf is a lupine. And I said "What the hell?
A lupine is a flower!" - we spent about an hour arguing, really. I looked
up lupine in the dictionary - and...a lupine is a flower. Of the genus
"lupus" - then I looked up wolf. and it said "of the genus lupus" - does
this mean a wolf is a flower? They sure as hell don't smell flowery,
unless you spray them with some kinda flower-scented perfume.
The only flora/fauna mix I know of is Final Fantasy 3's Leafers, so don't
worry about mistrusting certain flowers. Though my knowledge of Latin is somewhat limited
(read: nonexistant), I believe you misunderstood that dictionary entry. You
see, Lupine is the flower; Lupus is the one that Little Red Riding
Hood has to watch out for. (Oh, and while we're at it, systemic lupus erythematosus
is the icky disease.)
|Do the Mario!|
Do you or anyone you know remember the cartoons Captain N the Game Master,
any of the Marios, Danger Mouse, Count Duckula, or Unico. I know this
doesn't have to do with RPGs but nobody I know remembers any of these.
Ami, I remember all of those. The Mario cartoons were probably my favorite.
Not the crappy Mario World cartoons -- anyone mind telling me how the hell
cavemen got in the mix? -- the ultra godly show hosted by (Captain) Lou Albano
and a funky looking Luigi. You know, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Danger
Mouse and Count Duckula were good, but kind of... british. The Game Master
rocked, and last but not least, Unico was this whacked out and often creepy
Anime, um, well couple of movies, I guess. They were made for kids, but included
a bunch of content which can only be described as "freaky as Hades". The movie
would switch from cute to disturbing to sad almost every scene.
One thing's for sure, until the day I die, I'll remember... "Toooooooobiiiiiii!"
Also, because I luv getting on my cousin's nerves, I pronounce Cait Sith
'Kate Sith', Cloud 'Clod' and Aeris 'Kebob' ^_^
- Ami Q3 'Can you see the little owl on the $1 bill too? ^_^'
Great job annoying your cousin (what else are cousins for?) and, well,
no, I haven't seen an owl. But if ya fold one just right, you get a mushroom.
|Nitpicking or honest correction? You decide.|
Greetings King of Letters
I hate to nitpick, but you made a mistake. When Powerfree asked about a
player for XA files, you answered that modplug would work. Modplug plays
XM files. He was asking about XA files. XA files require XAPlay which can
be obtained at home.highway.or.jp/soltin/cgame.html Unfortunately the
homepage is in Japanese, so I'd suggest getting getting the player from
www.phoenix.net/~feldon/psxvideo.html I'm not exactly sure if these kinds
of programs are legal. I suspect they would be as long as you don't
distribute the files off the CD.
I don't think yer nitpicking at all. Anyway, yeah, my bad. Check out
those pages, but beware deadly legal hazards! To ward off weirdos,
I've decided not to add an actual link to those sites. If you want to
check 'em out, just copy the url. There, I didn't link to it -- ya
|I wonder if there are any Suikoden "slash" fanfics... O_o|
yesterday in the Q&A, someone asked you if there was a game where the
character doesnt fall in love with someone in there group, and you kinda
said something about the relationship between Gremio and hero. I hope you
know that Gremio is a guy, not a woman.|
Yeah, I know. That's why I said it was disturbing. And not (just?)
because of the whole male/male thing, but because Gremio was basically
his nanny. And I don't know about you, but getting hit on by your
personal Marry Poppins doesn't sound that... wholesome to me.|
Who would want to play through a
15 hour rpg with a gay main character ( i have nothing against gay
Sure ya do, Rob! You just made it clear you wouldn't want to play an
RPG with a gay main character. I'm not going to sit here and yell at
you, because that would be silly and hypocritical, but if ya don't want to
play an RPG with... oh, lets say a German
mime as the lead, chances are you have at least a little against
|Legend of Legaia|
Been putting off writing to you for quite a damned while now as I
didn't feel I had anything to comment on which I considered worthy of the
great and sexy, albeit young (sob!) Thor...
Well, ya know, I am of legal age for... um... cookies. Yeah, that's
what I was gonna say. Delicious prozac cookies. Ahem, moving along.
Well, after a quiet evening with my best friend some really decent
wine, and our brand new excursion of the week (Legend of Legaia) I believe
I have a comment or two to make! Joy!
First off, I'm happy to note that so far the game seems really good. I
mean, yes, the plot line leaves a tad to be desired but hey, I think that
it more then makes up for it every time the main character executes a
powerful move and then grunts enthusiastically in Japanese. Nothing like a
good heartfelt grunt or two to really get things going!
I'm also impressed with the wide range of sounds and sound effects I have
already noticed.(aka worm movement !?!) But this isn't what I was focusing
on really. What stuck out to me was how much better a game really becomes
when you feel you have some control over the dialogue boxes! I mean hey, I
know it sounds trivial, and I should probably be sitting here complaining
of the exp. system, or of the difficulty of getting gold, or the fact that
when you purchase a "cloak" and equip it the character is suddenly wearing
hot pink knickers, or even that I have a serious problem with run on
sentences... but no, I actually kinda like the fact that I can scroll
though text as I like..That was probably the biggest drawback in Xenogears
for me. Not only was there a monstrous amount of text but I found myself
fighting the urge to nap while waiting for it to finish scrolling. You
know what else? I like the fighting system in LoL too! I think that even
though it does take a little time, its fun.. and a little bit different.
Finally, I'd like to note how much better a game becomes when people are
constantly saying different things each time you return to them. I know
its nothing new, but its refreshing to see once again. Townsfolk that feel
its necessary to say an excessive amount of identical text at an
annoyingly snail like pace every single time you speak to them have a
tendency to detract from the game as a whole. This doesn't seem to be a
big issue in this game. But hey, Im only 5 and a half hours into it so who
Huh. Sounds wicked. Now I think I'll check it out. Ya know, I've been
debating whether I should post letters like these or not. On one hand,
one or two "initial thoughts" letters can help readers decide what to
buy without waiting for the full reviews. On the other, they're usually
long, and potentially annoying to anyone who doesn't give a poo. Well,
what do you think, my poppets?|
Hmmm, looks like an entire letter sans any real questions whatsoever
except the rhetorical kind..I feel like I should throw one in just to fill
a quota or whatever sooooo, here goes.
Did you find the disembodied head from Ultima "The Black gate" for
SNES terrifying to you or anyone you know....or was it just me? (Im tellin
ya, that visage was keepin me up at nights!)
your da' bomb!
- Rachael (I named my main character Lord and boy does it make the game fun!) from Virginia
Woo! I've finally reached "da bomb" status! From now on, instead of "Sexypants",
I'd like you all to call me "Highly Explosive Dude". Anyway, thanks for
the long letter, I don't get many these days. And... I never played that game.
Ultima: Exodus scared me away from it.|
|Read this. I don't care what it looks like at first-- just read it.|
(Final Fantasy 7 Spoiler.)
I will now attempt the impossible, the very thing that has driven many to
the brink of insanity and beyond. I will try to make sense of the FF7
ending ::thunder clash::.
First, of course, as we all know, Meteor is coming to kick everyone's
behind. However, the power of Holy, fueled by the destruction of Sephiroth
who was the one that was preventing it's power from working, stops Meteor
and blows it into little tiny pieces. The flying debris hits Midgar and
everyone is running around with Meteor shrapnel in their heads yelling,
"Aaah! I have Meteor shrapnel in my head!" Midgar becomes uninhabitable
because of all the shrapnel, and the dead bodies with the shrapnel in
their heads. Meanwhile, Aeris realizes she was never really dead and
spends the rest of her life living with a singing lobster named Sebastian.
In a few hundred years, plants have grown over Midgar and it becomes a
hang out spot for Nanaki and his kids, who he had from asexual
reproduction (don't ask me how).
Now does everyone understand the ending?
- The Flaming Mog
Gee, thanks for giving the once and for all definitive answer, Mog! Now that I'm done
pondering Final Fantasy 7's ending, my mono-tasking brain is free to wonder...
how do I revive Aeris?|
|Love is in the air. Must be all those dang womenfolk! Consarnit!|
I'd have to disagree with you describing Secret of Mana as "a game
where not ONE person, main characters especially, falls in love with one
of the team members." I interpret the ending to very strongly imply that
the main character is now a substitute boyfriend/fiance for the girl. Not
only does Dyluck himself say something to that effect, but there's a scene
in the ending of the girl and the main character and her father all
"nodding" to one another.
Ya got me there.
One day I was walking across the town Square and this girl and what
looked to be her dad kept following me around and nodding at me
At last I know what it meant: I was to be her substitute boyfriend/fiance.
Sheesh -- I'm glad I didn't know what it meant. I'd have freaked out.
For some really platonic RPG's I'd suggest FFT and FF5. In FF5,
Butz is literally surrounded by girls, yet falls for none of them (or they
for him). In FFT, all of the stuff that a lead character would usually do
for their romantic interest (i.e. being concerned about them, saving them
repeatedly, etc.), Ramza instead does for his sister. I thought that was a
great switch, and a move that really characterized Ramza effectively: he
was so busy saving his sister and the world that he didn't really have the
time to hit on, say, Agrias. Granted, there's that bit with Delita and the
princess, but they're not really in your party as main characters.
Personally, I totally agree with Cloudy Squall on this one - I
found FF5 and FFT's platonic plots to be a breath of fresh air in a
somewhat cliched genre. Someone ought to remind RPG developers that you
don't *need* a romance in the plot line to have a good game.
- Ari Rosenbach
Ditto. While there's nothing wrong with a good love story in
an RPG, if every RPG has one, it gets kind of old. Just
as "Save the princess", "Topple the evil empire" and "Cope with
the mental disorders" have.
Ya know, love is such an easy motivation to use, it's no wonder so
many writers implement it. Why, there's quests to rescue a captured
love, quests for revenge for a slain love, quests to reunite two
lovers, quests to get some -- whatever. Personally, I'd like to start seeing
coffee as the main motivation in an RPG. Not all the characters,
mind you, one would do. Wouldn't that just rock?
That last quickie on tuesday was absolutely hilarious! I luv you! Luv!
Luv! Luv... gurgle...
So, um. Was that sex?|| ||
|Wondering what that dream meant?|
(Go on, tell me everything -- just leave out the naughty bits involving Jewel)
(House guests really sap up the ol' gaming time, ya know?)
|Like Old Crap? |
|Try the Archives|
(Beware the Typoes)
|Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?|
|The Hack Archive|
(Edit me. It's fun.)
|Bite sized Quickies|
Where can I buy Nuth'in at?
- drunk salor from Xenogears.
At your local Hogwash dealership.
Actually, "Cait Sith" is pronounced "Ket Shee"
Thanks for the correction. (See? See? Another girl! They're everywhere!)
No RPGuru (HA HA HA insane laughter) I believe its F#@! me im irish.
just remindin u what us real irish know!
I tried walking up to a girl and saying "Eff pound sign ampersand exclamation
point", but she just stared at me until I started hyperventilating. Did I
do something wrong?
Other Eeeevwil games: Dungeon Keeper, Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight.
Other "coincidences": The theme that plays when Edgar is told the story of
Sabin and the intro to Contra. Tenchi Muyo In Love's introduction and
My apologies for failing to warn about that Alundra spoiler. I had it on
my to do list, too. That's when the dog rushed in and ate it. Never did
find out who's dog that was, either.
No response to my "Jeb" tangent the other day. Weird. The thought that that
sort of thing doesn't surprise anyone shocks me. How weird am I?
Wait, better not to answer that and just allow me to live a life of
dilusion and happiness. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
- Thor "Big Dumb Man" Antrim
I spy with my little eye, something that is hot. Oh, it's a mirror. Tee hee!