Aww. Lil' column!
Due to a late Sunday update (not Drew's fault, we all suffer from the evils of Technical Difficulty now and then) I didn't get that much mail to work with, so prepare for a tiny Ask Thor... which should probably be somewhat of a relief after the 25k+ columns I was pumping out last week. So sit back, moisten your socks with lemon juice, and enjoy an Ask Thor so small it doesn't even have any Quickies.
Maybe somebody has said this before, but doesn't the esper Stray in FF3(6j) look a lot like Cait Sith in FF7?

(If you don't know which FF's they're in, then there's no hope for you.)

- Matt A.

As far as I know -- I didn't just skimp out on this, I looked for 35 friggin minutes -- Cait Sith and Stray were based loosely on the same celtic legend. I think that Cait Sith and Stray's Japanese counterparts shared (more or less) the same name, but going by the law of Thor Knows Jack, I'm probably wrong.
"The game's named Final Fantasy Eigh--" 'SPOILER!!!!'
(Xenogears spoiler! Kidding.)
Okay, I was on #rpgamer and mentioned the fact that I personally think Billy is 3 million times cooler than Citan. I said so with the fact that Billy carries around 5 guns, and Citan does not. I was instantly bombarded by one of the people on the channel saying that I had spoiled some of the game by mentioning the fact that Billy uses 5 guns. Did I actually spoil something? Or is he just being over-cautious to another on the channel who had not beaten the game? I mean, the fact that Billy carries 5 guns is about as relative to the game as the fact that Fei has 2 eyes. It changes nothing. Who's right here?

- Eddie

You are. I mean, I can understand if the only way to use said guns was via a long and carefully hidden subquest, filled with storyline and major plot events, and the very fact that Billy uses guns somehow gives away the fact that he will assasinate the purple Teletubby at the end of Xenogears.... but no, none of that applies, so it's not a spoiler.

Spoiling is kind of like sex. No, really, hear me out. People think anything more than they would be willing to do is kinky, right? Same thing with spoilers -- any scrap of information which is even slightly less obscure and useless than they'd like, and you're suddenly an evil spoiling maniac in their eyes. But their definition of a "spoiler" is rarely yours, mine, or anyone else's, so either you never mention any games or risk pissing someone off.

Just try to keep your cool, and don't get in a big debate with the guy. And if things get out of hand in any IRC channel, you can always ask an op to help out.

Naughty, naughty!
In our version of FF1, the tombstone in the town in Elfland reads "Here lies Erdrick, 837-866", but in the Japanese version, it says "Here sleeps Link". In Japan, Square decided to pretend FF was better than Zelda, not DQ like over here. Just pointing that out.

- maht

A good decision, considering Nintendo published Final Fantasy, heh heh.
Name that quote!
that was from Suikoden, when you(the main character) talk to general Milich Oppenheimer after having him join your rebel army in the castle. He says that when you talk to him in the narcissists' chamber..

- Neoguardian

Yes, yes sir. You are correct. Dig my Ed McMahon impersonation? No? Well, at least you're honest. For your honesty, you'll receive this heaping bag of dung instead of the earlier prize of limitless power, wealth and pleasure. Enjoy!
"Under the sheets it's all good!" - Actual Jerry Springer guest
Yo rohT,

In response to that guy yesterday who wanted sheet music for Final Fantasy, well, here are a few sites:

Final Fantasy Square -

Game Music Network -

RPGStuff -

Well, that's all I can remember at the moment... FYI, you can find some very good information on sheet music and stuff in the Game Music Network Forum (or message board or whatever you call those things...)... Hope this helps that poor sod who can't find any sheet music =)

Bye now,


Thanks for the URLs. Now if only someone could find me a !@#$ guide to the origins of Final Fantasy 7's names... Grumble.
The sexiest man alive. After me, of course.
Hey, Thor, you generous guy you, How'd you know what a great thing it would be to include studly Bruce Campbell in the end of your own personal Thor Celebrity Death thingie? You and the other ravenous males got to dream of teri hatcher, and you were kind enough to leave Bruce Campbell for us females to drool over. You, my friend, are a great humanitarian. . . ^_^

- Ashley (a little dazed after watching Evil Dead 2 for the fiftieth time this week)

No problem. It's always my pleasure to discuss the Bruce-meister. Though, I suspect, not as much pleasure as you get from watching him. It's just not fair, ya know? Women get to oogle cool action heroes. What do guys get? Tank Girl? No thanks. She may be able to kick butt, but she's about as attractive as Courtney Love.

Oh, wait, there's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But c'mon, she doesn't kick 1/10th the arse Bruce does. :D

Xenogears update
In reference to friday's quickies, Xenogears ending was altered by half an inch, for three seconds. The Japanese version shows more of a curve, but barely noticable.
Wow. I guess even Elder Gods can be wrong, sometimes. Now I went and printed a correction for no reason, thus forcing me to print a new correction. And with my luck, this guy'll be wrong, forcing me to print another correction tomorrow. It's times like these that I wish I could just phone Square and say, "Yo, are we missing out in the nipple department over here?", to which they'd reply... well, I don't actually know how they'd reply. But I'm sure it'd be at least a little enlightening.
More Xenogears!

In reference to the letter sent in by 'Whitney "The Reverend Doctor" Cox', there actually is a connection between Xenogears and Neon Genesis Evangelion. If you visit Squaresoft's homepage, and then visit the Xenogears section, it says that some of the animators who worked on Xenogears were also animators for Evangelion. Here's the actual web site:

Ah, so there is a connection, just not a very strong one. I mean, the it's not like the Xenogears characters and the Evangelon characters were designed by the same group, just animated. So I guess all this time people were sensing their... brush techniques. Or something.

Hey guys, for a laugh, click the "CHARACTERS" link and get a load of what Xenogears' official page calls "Gears"...

Complete change of topic...have you ever played Silent Hill? It's not technically an RPG, but if they were to make an RPG as scary as that...whooo...I'm getting shivers. What do you think?


I think there's nothing to worry about -- that's a common reaction for girls when they're near the Mighty Thor. (Heh heh, I'm evil.)
From the south? Male? Think Drew has "purdy lips"?
Ask Thor
(... for Drew's phone number!)
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Try the Archives
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Thor Antrim: Anime Style
(Edit me. It's fun.)
Quote of the Update:
"God only created a few perfect stomachs. He put a stupid looking hole in the rest of them."
- Just Some Guy
No Quickies for you!
Thor Stuff

This raises an interesting question:

What's worse, a lackluster column or none at all?

Which raises yet another question:

Can anyone really tell the difference between a rushed column and one I spend five hours on, aside from length?

Which raises another question:

If not, why do I even bother?

Which raises another question:

Getting sick of this yet?

Which raises another... ahh, forget it.

Hey, Drew was badmouthin' me! Why I outta... that "2d polygons" bit was a joke. Sheesh -- maybe I should just stop being funny. It'd certainly cause a lot less confusion around here. Ribbit.

- Thor "Rush!" Antrim
Drew said "Crabb*t"? What a whore.

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