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 See how many typos you can count! The archives await.

Yay: Man, this rocks. You know how I constantly sometimes bitch about not getting enough questions? Well, today I got plenty. More than enough, in fact. And ya know what? I didn't just get good questions, I got good comments and rants, too. Thanks, dudes and babes. :D

Nay: The Anti-christ Superstar Ultimate Naughty Bad-Bad Icky Madness <thunder clash> which you'll see before the end of the column. Fear for your lives, my poppets. Best to just blind yourselves now, least ye spend eternity reflecting on the awful sight.

Significantly cooler than Lunar: Clown College.

For a few people who have never played a Lunar game, try it. It's well worth it. (Where I'm from a Sega CD is like $10 literally ;) ) While I was looking through the listed games archives, I guess they're called, I saw Lunar the Silver Star, Eternal Blue, and low and behold... a new Lunar for me to stare at. Magic School. I never heard of it, yet it said it was out for Saturn.

Q - I'm guessing it's not out in the states...?

Lunar: Magic School was originally released for the Game Gear, but never made it to America. It was later ported to the Saturn and received a nice remix, just like Lunar: The Silver Star. In it, you played magic students training at the Academy of Vane. The Saturn remix has seven more chapters, and 30 minutes of animation. But it didn't make it to America, either. Fun.

One more thing, I love RPG's. Any idea if Working Designs is planning on rereleasing the Sega CD game Vay (Or Lunar the Eternal Blue for that matter)?

-- DeepDownTraumaHound

Don't believe so.

A/S/L???

I got a question. In the Legend of Zelda:The Ocarina of Time, how old is Link when he began his journey? A lot people say he is 10, but I'm not sure. So it's been bothering me for a long time, so can you please TELL me?

-- Alice Tai

As far as I know, Nintendo hasn't released the age of Link except for Zelda: The Adventure of Link, which took place just before he turned sixteen. (For the sake of argument, 10'll do just fine, though I seem to remember reading somewhere he was 7.)

Kissing cousins? We wish...

You should have been playin Xenogears long enough to see how many times it is implied that Margie and Bart would make a good couple. Especially when one of the nun's say she should take the throne with Bart one day. Aren't they cousins though? Does anyone else find that well...Icckk!

Yes, they're cousins. I share your horror. Though it was common in medieval times, I really don't think anyone would classify Xenogears' setting as "medieval". (I mean, I don't remember hearing "stone age, iron age, super hyper mega zord power mech age" anywhere, heh heh.) As scary as the thought of Margie and Bart as a couple may be, it's no comparison to... The Anti-christ Superstar Ultimate Naughty Bad-Bad Icky Madness <thunder clash>.

Blarg.

hello. I would like to state that you WERE right about it saying something about a series on their page. However, it has since changed. I saw it for myself a couple of weeks ago. I thought that either a), someone slipped up and there is a sequel that shouldn't have been mentioned or b), the person who wrote up the web page doesn't know much about Square's products, which seems highly unlikely.

-- Edwin Aviles

I just can't win, can I?

<Rant>

Blarth. (Calm variation of "blarg").

I'm here to preach about the evils of the Game Cave (www.gamecave.com). It's this company that has given me screwed up stuff both times I've orered from them. The first time, I bought the FFVII OST. The first three disks were fine but the fourth had this consitently irritating "*scritch-scritch-scritch*" recording flaw all through it -- all through, of course, the One Winged Angel. The second time I ordered the Chrono Trigger OST. Thank goodness that all the CDs themselves were fine, but when I opened up the case, all these little weird black things dropped out. To my surprise, they were chipped-off pieces of the round CD-holders! Coincidence? Well, I'm not willing to risk poor quality from them again unless I'm reeeeally desperate. Oh yeah, and their phone service bites.

Ouch. Sounds like you had quite a round of bad luck. And, uh, crappy phone service. It's always a good idea to ask a few friends if they've had any bad expierences with a company before ordering from them, just in case the company isn't 'legit'. (Not that gamecave wasn't sending what was promised, just from the sound of your complaint they weren't sending it very well.)

Now for the question; are RPGamer staff members allowed to vote at the polls?

-- MelanTiger

I have no idea. Never stopped me before, though. Heh, heh.

Love is blind

What??? How dare you bash Earthbound! Darn you! Darn you to heck!

-- Sorbie

Oh, crap. I've been darned -- to Heck no less! -- and all because I said the following: "Earthbound was decent, except for the graphics." There's a difference between "decent" and "sucks like an intern", guys. Now, wish me good luck getting out of this Heck business. I hear they have all the good lawyers...

!

Thor,

I recently read at IGN's PSX website that a Secret of Mana 4 demo is highly likely to appear on Square's Saga Frontier 2. Now if that isn't reason enough to buy Saga Frontier 2, i'm not sure what is. Can you confirm this, or have you heard anything like this? I was really suprised when I first read this, since it's been a while since Seiken Densetsu 3 (1995, and it didn't even make it to the US). Thanks.

-- Gates

Well Bill, it looks like dreams just might come true. The best part isn't that SD4 is in the "waiting to be confirmed" (as opposed to the "not on your life, jackass") stage, I think. The best part is that it'll be for the PlayStation, and not the PSX2 or somesuch lunacy. (With newer systems, developers are usually too busy learning the tricks of the system to develop a really polished product. I like my games nice and late in the system's lifespan, like Final Fantasy 3 or Dragon Warrior 4.

Name that time. Heehaw!

Say, Thor,

Could you tell us International Ask Thor Readers (IATR) what time zone you live in? Because, as a member of the Singapore Branch of IATR, I experience GMT+8, and your references to updating at noon and whatnot are lost on me. Thanks a bunch, oh great and mighty.

Long live Thor! Long live IATR!

-- Melissa Pearce, RPGal

Sure thing. I live in California, so I'm in the Pacific timezone (GMT-08:00). As I type this, it's still 7:48am. I'd sure as Hades better get this thing uploaded before 12, heh heh.

Doppelgangers: A threat, or just wannabes?

Hi Thor,

Whilst perusing, I discovered a conspiracy between 2 of the biggest entertainment events of the year! Behold, the uncanny similarities between these pictures from FF8 and Episode 1.

-- Bart (no, I don't wear an eyepatch and use a whip)

Yes, but do you have spiky yellow hair and use "eat my shorts"? :D

***

You ever notice how Terra in her morphed state resembles a certain type of mudflap (Yeah you know what I'm talkin' about) you see on the back of semis?

-- Heather

Yeah, kinda. Look, I'd include a comparisen graphic, but I can't. I looked for ten minutes and didn't find one "lady" mudflap. A heapload of boring filthy mudflaps, yes. But no lady mudflaps.

***

I'm a fan of Bowie, but I've never seen Labrynth. Can you do a picture of Bowie/New Edgar on Ask Thor?

Sure thing. It's not an exact match, or anything, mostly because David is looking kind of pouty. Someone must have mistaken him for a man that day -- and after all the time he spent poofing his hair, too.

~Sleep with one eye open~

Dear Thor, Man of the Year!

The early psychiatrist Mendel stated that every person has a hiearchy of needs, that they must fulfill in order to be truly happy. It starts with the bare essentials for life, and builds up to more sophisticated ideas. From hard analysis of your dream (I sat at the computer for a second) I have determined you personal pyramid of needs.

  • Complete and Total Domination of the World
    • Fame, Fortune, and Uhhhh... More Fame and Fortune
      • Food, Shelter, Love, and Other Things Marginally Necessary For Life
        • RPGs
Obviously, You're mental health is dangerously unbalanced.

Keep up the Good Work!

-- Z-42

Food? Love? Pfft! I need not these human trivialities. Give me coffee, Final Fantasy 3 and -- oh, heck, lets just throw in Teri Hatcher -- and you've got all I need right there.

Panic attack freakout!

Thor...er....you..um..you didn't have an intro section yesterday...umm...er...why? I mean...um...it...it was...just...um....er...weird...um...um...er....um.....er!?

-- MIKE

Oh. There was an introduction. Yes, my friend, there certainly was. You just couldn't see it, could you? Why couldn't anyone see it? It was there! Plain as day! I typed it myself! And, and, they don't believe me! You just have to look closely, man. Read between the lines and under the bed. Don't bother with your eye glasses -- they control your glasses. And, and, they're controlling this right now, I tell ya. And, and -- ahh... Lorelai's prozac cookies just kicked in. Whew, that was embarrassing.

The following Quickies are unsutable for mature viewers.

Arpad Korossy has volunteered to proofread your fanfics. What a nice guy! Go on and contact him at: chocobo13@hotmail.com // thendcomes wrote: "There is (was?) a site that contained lyrics to Square or Square related songs, and the name of the site was something like 'What were the words?'." Anyone know? // An anonymous prince or princess said: "You mentioned in today's column that Lorelai said you couldn't have any cookies. What kind of cookies were they? Sugar cookies, or chocolate chip? Or perhaps some other form of cookie, maybe?" Some other form? You bet! I'm getting love cookies, yeehaw! Oh, bother. I apologize for that one. I don't even know what that means. Besides, everyone knows by now that Lorelai makes the best prozac cookies this side of Tony's Prozac Cookie Shoppe down in old town. // Nurabsal wrote: "I had a dream, you were in it, you gave me a pear. I am lost.........." According to The Dreamer's Dictionary, a pear predicts you will hear some scandalous gossip which will prove useful to you. There, ya found yet? :D // And finally, Chris told me I was hot, said he was going to send himself as a present, called me "hot stuff", licked me, and then said, "Just remember, I'm not gay! You just transcend gender. ooo baby." Any other day, I'd have a witty comeback, or at least a bloodcurdling scream. But ever since I saw the Anti-christ Superstar Ultimate Naughty Bad-Bad Icky Madness <thunder clash>, things like this just don't bother me as much. After you've experienced true fear, slight homophobia is barely noticable.

Thor stuff

RydiaX is evil.

Pure evil.

I received the following letter (and at first, thought nothing of it. I've received tons of weird Anime Thor hacks in the past few weeks):

Hello, I would like to share my version of a hacked anime Thor. Before I did it it seemed funny, happy, cute...ya know? As for when I finished, well, that was disturbing...enjoy!

-- RydiaX

Then I took a look at the enclosed file. And screamed.

And screamed. And screamed.

And unless you're Marilyn Manson or Satan, you're going to scream, too.

I bring to you, Anti-christ Superstar Ultimate Naughty Bad-Bad Icky Madness <thunder clash>.

Not recommended for anyone over, under, or 18 years old.

- Thor "I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life" Antrim
And you guys want me to upload my real picture? <whimper>

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