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They said it couldn't be done in a home video

Sup sup...

Just a quickie question: Is the Final Fantasy Movie going to be in theaters, or only on video. I would believe theaters, due to the amount put into the film and collaboration with Columbia Pictures (I think), but I haven't seen anything too concrete. Tell me. You know you want to. Oh yes. You do.

-- Ragnarok

I don't have proof or anything, but the chances of the Final Fantasy Movie being a direct-to-video release are about as good as Square releasing Super Mario RPG 2 on the PlayStation.

Groove to the sound of Cloud "freaking out"

Yo foo',

Does the FF7 OSV include all the songs that are only played once in the game, like in the Temple of the Ancients when Cloud gets all wierd while looking at the mural of Meteor and the ending music?

-- Dave

Ayup, the OSV contains all the songs. For the price of Final Fantasy 7 you can own the music, er, in Final Fantasy 7. Quite a deal, eh guys?

Wow, an honest to goodness mutli-part question

When is the FF movie gonna come out??

Sometime in 2001.

Why does it take so long to translate games??

Japanese > English isn't the easiest conversion, and nowadays RPGs are a lot more text-heavy than, oh, say, when Ted Woosley was translating Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy 3.

Why are Japanese video games so mean and not translate games??

Er, games don't translate themselves, companies handle the translation. And since they're a business and not a public service, they only translate games they feel will make a profit over here.

Why are translations so crappy??

'Cause while awful graphics or gameplay will get a game awful reviews (and hurt sales), a bad translation rarely affects the review. That combined with the fact that translating a game is very hard work results in generally abysmal translations. (You know something's wrong with people call Xenogears' translation "wonderful" simply because it didn't have many typoes. Sheesh.)

Why is Final Fantasy games getting worse ans worse??

-- The one known only as Magus ( I sent another letter)

They aren't. It's all a matter of opinion. :D

Same difference? Not a chance.

Thor,

You are *so* a Southern Californian :)

-- Princess Artemis

Sorry, babe. I'm as Northern as they come. (For those of you who don't understand, there's a big difference between "NoCal" and "SoCal". In Southern California, you can't see more than twenty feet in front of your face because of fog and smog. In Northern California, you can't see more than twenty feet in front of your face because of fog and marijuana smoke.)

Bury this

Hey Thor,

In response to your comment that the spell Reflect/Wall in Final Fantasy games does not work like a physical wall interacting with a physical ball, allow me to remind you that the reflect spell itself is made of the same stuff as the cure/fire/bolt/whatever spell, coming from within a person. The actual description of it bouncing away at an angle comes directly from Final Fantasy Tactics, a little bit garbled and frightening, but clear enough once they show you the little pictures. It's not like we come up with stuff like this on our own, it takes professional skill to be that ridiculous. ^_^

-- Lord Wombat

Yeesh, really? I guess they updated things a bit because Final Fantasy Tactics takes place on a chess-like 3d battle field, instead of the standard Final Fantasy "We DARE you to cross this line" Football-esque battle stance. Who'd have guessed it, the FFT tutorial is good for something after all!

Ask Thor

Dear Thor,

I totally agree with you about the busty thing. But, you, of all people explained it! Oops, sorry. . . . . . . I wish some rather perverted guys would quit talking about this topic because it's making me VERY uncomfertable. I just don't understand guys. Why do they only care about busty girls who wear miniskirts and sports bras!? Sick! Can you fill in an explanation?

-- A rather disturbed, nameless, girl

Humans are hardcoded to procreate. Guys generally go ga-ga over whatever look is trendy at the time. Women on the other hand are usually drawn to sucessful men. (This is why you'll see situations like Lewinsky/Clinton, but rarely vise vera.) Both desires are equally shallow, if you ask me. The only difference is that in our culture, sex is frowned on and sucess is the American Way. Still, this is really just a "Fire, bad!" kind of instinct. Just as you can easily sit in front of a fireplace and not fear firegods pulling you into the depths of an eternal, burning torment, there are plenty of people who don't follow the, ahem, old ways. Like me, for instance. All I look for in a girl is that she will put up with having to climb a step ladder to kiss me.

I... have... the power...!

Thor my friend, here is something that has been bothering me long.

Why do we have debates about things that happen in RPGs? I mean, you are RPGamer, you have reporters who travel cross-country to gather information, you have secret industrial spies that find out everything that's going on in the gaming world, you have a massive network of extensive resources at your fingertips, and yet we still wonder about things like what FF7's ending meant, Cloud's past, whether or not Shadow killed himself, and other stuff like that. Why is this? I mean, can't IGN just summon up it's resources and go ASK the story writers of FF7 what's the deal with the ending and Cloud's past, and clear it up once and for all? You have the powers to settle all gaming "fact debates" once and for all, and yet you don't. Why? Why sit and wonder about this stuff when you can *find out*?

-- Shinyhat

Square left Final Fantasy 7's storyline mysterious for a reason. They're not about to accept a call from "Thor Antrim, sexy Q&A dude" and explain everything they intentionally kept secret. :D

Yeah. Why not, Thor? Eh? Ya big poohead!

Hey Thor, I thought that I'd give you a treat and send you a question, just to keep you on your toes. So now, the question, why don't you stop printing anything that's not a valid question? The way I figure it, if you stop printing the invalid things, people'd stop sending them in. Wait, that would mean that this would be skipped too......hmmmm.....might wanna rethink this strategy......

-- Richard Clough

I've always believed in printing what I receive. Letters columns which only deal in questions are, I'm sorry to say, dull as dust. (I've done almost all-question days before, and each time I tried I received a few letters politely asking today's Ask Thor sucked so hard.) Anyhoo, I try and print a nice "representation" of what you guys send in. If 90% of the letters are about one topic, I take the hint and print more than one letter covering the subject, be it comments, debate or even questions.

Unless, of course, it's questions/comments/debate about the length of my tongue. That just won't do, it won't do at all.

Mr. Wizard

About electron microscopes: They only operate in a complete vacuum. If there were air, then the electrons would bounce off the atoms and the "picture" it produced would be useless. Most living things on this planet require oxygen to live. Therefore, that sceen is not accurate. As a certified nerd, I noticed this also in the game. But as an RPGamer, I ignored it 'cause of the purdy FMV.

-- Nerdy RPGamer

Nerds rule. They're like geeks, only smarter. Lets all take a moment to point and laugh at the geeks, thus crushing their self-image. Ha, ha! Geeks! You guys suck! Ahh. That felt good. Nothing like mocking others to give yourself a temporary boost of self-worth.

Great, now I'm going to have Marilyn Manson after me.

Thor,

Join us in the Dark Crusade!

No. That's simply too silly to be evil. Now, the Ultimate Madness... that was evil. <whimper>

Shush. You'll wake the Quickies.

An unnamed RPGamer wrote: "You're a -Lamb-." Your mother. // Rom Emes--again, sheesh!--wondered: "Could you suggest a rockin' Castlevania: Symphony of the Night site? Or a general CV site?" Yes: http://classicgaming.com/castlevania/ // Todd wondered: " In FF7, in the Summon Chocobo/Mog spell, what does the moogle's hat say? I can't read Japanese...." Me neither. Guys? // ImperialMog wrote: "even in what seems to be more realistic games. the just use scientific things to explain things that either don't or can't exist. the games often the basis is about impossible concepts like materia and very bizzare hair. that's why fantasy still should be in final fantasy." When I grow up, I wanna be just like that guy. :D // The following links were suggested by various readers for your RPG creation software needs:

http://members.tripod.com/~BroWren/phantom/index.htm
http://members.xoom.com/drumanprod
http://www.cyberverse.com/~spam/wander.html
http://rpg-haven.com/kanjihack/

Remember, RPGamer doesn't... uh... whats that word... oh! RPGamer doesn't condone any of these programs, so use at your own risk 'n stuff. They could be illegal, pornographic, mind-altering or other fun stuff like that. :D // And finally, Savior wrote: "So [thursday] was bad huh? I can tell you exactly why, because you had a good monday. Everything equals out eventually thor, everything." Aww, man. That's awful. This means in the future I'll be unpopular, ugly and jobless, but I'll know how to spell. I like things the way they are, damnit!

Thor stuff

Ahh. That was nice. I like this kind of update. A little of this, a little of that, and "Satan" carved in my forehead. Well, honestly, I could have done without that last bit, but what can ya do?

Anyway, I'm gone for a weekend of the usual long-distance phone calls, slacking off with my friends and enduring Xenogears conversations. So hugs to the ladies on Valentines day, and a weird "What are you, gay?" look to the guys.

- Thor "I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow" Antrim
*smooch*! Heh, heh. Ya had to look, didn't you?

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