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| | Xenogears (Right now I am playing a fun Sony PlayStation Role Play Game by the name of 'Xenogears'. It is by the name of 'Xenogears' and is fun. I am playing it.) |
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OK, I've got shocking news and unshocking news. I'll give you the shocking
news first: 90% of the letters I received today were comments about my little
rant. Now the shocking news: 90% of those letters agreed with
me. That's right, I didn't even get many flames. (Two or three, the rest were
pretty level-headed defenses of Xenogears.) Did we slip in the Xone and someone
forgot to tell me about it?

Part of your balanced breakfast
What does NPC stand for??
-- Matt Elder
Non Player Character. Anyone in an RPG who doesn't join your party at some
time. So far, so good.

Miyamoto Musashi wielding Masamune and Murasame!
Um, hello...
I was curious. You know how Square gets most of its names of characters
and enemies and stuff from mythology and legends, right? I was wondering
where the names "Murasame" and "Masamune" come from. Also, where was the
Masamune in FFVI? (Maybe it was too busy being carted to Chrono Trigger
to make its appearance in FFVI.) And how did the Masamune end up being
Sephiroth's weapon? I thought it was just a weapon for good guys... (and
gals.)
Why do I even care? I could be doing something more constructive!! Oh
well.
-- OzziePants
Either the swords are totally unrelated the
sources are unknown, or...
The Murasame and Masamune blades were forged by two competing Japanese
swordsmiths. The swords were plunged in water as a test. Since leaves
passed around the Masamune, but were shreaded by the Murasame, the
Masamune won the competition. From then on Masamune was associated
with holiness; and the Murasame with all things cursed. (Yeah, I don't get
it either. Kooky Japanese swordsmiths.)
One interesting note is that in Final Fantasy 7, Sephiroth wielded the
Masamune and Cloud used the Murasame. Overanalyze at will, guys.

Mirror, mirror...
If I'm going to complain about anything in your rant it's that you say we
have to drink a Dr. Pepper. I don't like Dr. Pepper! I'm a Sprite
drinker and that's the way I'm going to stay. I'm not going to complain
about how you feel about Xenogears because it's how you feel. Everyone's
entitled to their own opinions. Now, I have a question for you. The
reflect spell doesn't make any sense. If you cast reflect on a character,
and then cast a spell on that character, the spell doesn't go back to the
caster. It goes to the enemy. I, at first, didn't care about such
trivial matters. However, I've been writing a story lately and had to
have someone explain the reflect spell to someone else. It was then that
I realized that I don't have any clue as to why this little discrepancy
is. If it just has to do with the angle of the magic or what, I don't
know. Could you possibly answer this question? Thank you.
-- Evil Lover Extrordinare (Evil guys rock!) >8^()
Yeah, man! Evil guys do rock! All my life I've liked the badguys
more than the good guys. Well, with the exception of Dr. Doom. He was
really kinda lame.
The short answer: "Because of the Fanatic's Tower in FF6."
The long answer: "I can only assume whoever created the spell
wanted it that way. Be it a Final Fantasy 6 Esper or an AD&D Wizard, magic
spells were invented by something, otherwise instead of spells we'd
just have raw, unformed energy, like Spellfire."
The retarded one-liner answer: "You know you want me, baby!"

Meow! =^.^=
Dear Thor,
Did you know that the one thing that made me deturmened Chrono Trigger was
a better game than Final Fantasy 6, was the cat in Chrono Trigger. Cats
just add so much to video games not just video games but RPGs in general
they just add a genuine and unique feel to RPGs they are so cute, who can
resist? I beleive they belong in fantasy/sci-fi RPGs more than any other
animal. I was so happy to see all those cats wandering around in that
house in wutai village in Final Fantasy 7, it just warmed my heart and
gave me a good attitude about the many battles Yuffie was about to face. I
also loved all of those cats wandering around in Xenogears' villges. I
hope there will be many future RPGs that include those cute fluffy
creatures.
-- Joseph Witham, The "Cat loving RPGamer"
Heh, you know, one could say Joseph is quite fond of p... ahh hell, I just
can't bring myself to say it.

Xenogears spoilers (Warning: Not an actual spoiler, read at your own risk.)
Heyhey Man with Too Many Titles,
I agree completely (with your rant). "My father? You mean my dad?" is
quite possibly one of the most pointless lines ever.
Xenogears: Bringing new meaning to redundancy since 1998.
I just have one Odd Question. You haven't finished Xenogears yet..
right? How do YOU feel about everyone mailing you with spoilers for it?
Me, I'd be pissed as hell.
Yeah. I hate spoilers. They really hurt. A deep, deep hurting. Kind of like
the feeling of an improperly executed Jack-knife Powerbomb. You guys have been wonderful,
though. With a few exceptions, you're all kind enough to warn me of spoilers.
This allows me to skim parts if the letter is another "opinion on the pile",
such as today's Xenogears debate. (Of course, if the letter isn't one of many,
I'll read it. It's not like I could tell if you were making things up or not,
though, heh heh.)
P.S. Hi Chandra-san! ^_^
-- A.E.Isthill, whose alternate personality is Psycho Mantis
Hi, mom!

Now you can complain about your own translaton!
Anyway, some dude wrote in about all these great ideas he had for making
RPGs with RPG Maker. If he wants to start making them _now_ instead of
waiting for when (or, more appropriately, if) RPG Maker comes over the
ocean, he can check out VERGE. Lots of people have made lots of FF4-esque
games using this engine. It allows you to design magic, weapons, enemies,
character sprites, tile graphics, music... since there's so much leeway
with this engine, you might need an entire "production team" to make games
for it, but it's definitely worth the effort. The VERGE site is at
www.verge-rpg.com
-- Capheine
Thanks, Capheine. Now I can finally get working on creating my dream RPG:
Final Fantasy 3. It's exactly the same as Final Fantasy 3, only Edgar
is replaced with me, and I end up with Celes at the end of the game instead
of that overly-defensive dork, Locke. Treasure hunter my arse.

SaGa Frontier 2(!)
Hey Thor,
The reason why Square has decided to do SaGa Frontier 2 is pretty obvious.
Square's main concern is the Japanese market. In Japan, SaGa games have
sold really well including SaGa Frontier. If you check the list of
Japanese million sellers found in The Magic Box (I currently don't have
the URL), you will notice that SaGa Frontier is listed in it. That means
that SF was a Japanese blockbuster, and therefore Square would be inclined
to do a sequel whether us North Americans liked it or not.
-- SJL
Interesting. Like I said, Square might honestly not care how well it
does in the US. They could just release it here with no advertising.
It's not like they'd be in any danger if the game didn't sell well: Selling
a CD game is far less risky than a cart 'cause of less investment, and Square
isn't exactly in any desperate need of money. Still, it's kind of silly
to ignore the US market. I just wish Square would... wait, hold that
thought for the next letter.

I mind Another Mind. Snickersnork!
Hey Thor,
What do you think about Another Mind? I think it's interesting to
see Square doing a game that's really different from their usual
fare. It would be interesting to see this game in the U.S. because
we usually just get RPGs, Fighting games, and similar (ok, not
similar, but I don't want to list all of them) genres, while there are a
lot of different genres that haven't been tested here. Would you want to
see games like this come to America or are you more interested in seeing
more and better RPGs?
-- Jasconius
Sure, it's interesting, but it doesn't do me any good. Not only
is there no chance of anyone translating Another Mind, the very
style of the game makes importing and playing it with a printed
fan-made translation (basically) impossible. I don't want to sound
selfish, even though I am, but I wish Square would finally, well,
give us Yanks a little attention.
I mean, Zelda 64 sold one million
in Japan and five million worldwide. So yes, there is a market outside
of Japan. Making a game which you could translate and sell across the
globe is a better choice than making a game which will only sell in
one country, I'd think. I don't mind Square developing non-RPGs, I just
wish they'd develop something the rest of us could get a chance to
play.

You like me! You really like me! (Or, at least, agree with me.)
I still can't believe almost all of you agreed with my Xenogears rant. I expected
to be flamed--nay, charbroiled. Maybe I should start writing editorials.... naw,
I think I enjoy ranting in a less formal format, heh heh. On with the feedback:
Dear Thor:
I was shocked and amazed with your accurate descriptions of the
Xenogears translation! You hit the problem right on the head- it wasn't
BAD, it was just extremely dull. (not the game or the plot, but the way it
was worded) Perhaps Square should have a english teacher come through
after the game is translated to make it sound nice! heh heh.
Oh yea, I don't like Doctor Pepper. That stuff is nasty.
-- Sugoi
I really liked this guy--up until the last line, that is.
***
Anyways, I'd just like to put in my 2 cents *ka-ching* Ok. I liked
Xenogears. Alot. I'll admit that the dialogue isn't all that great in
parts. This doesn't mean it's a bad game, and it also doesn't mean that
ALL the dialogue is bad. The example that you gave, for one thing, was
from a NPC. How often do all of the NPCs in an RPG have earthshattering
dialogue? How many of the people you happen to run into on the street
have consistently good dialogue? Anyways, Xenogears is a beautiful game
in terms of graphics, music, plot, and gameplay. It is proabably my
favorite RPG. Why let the occasionally bad dialogue ruin your experiance?
The character says something stupid. Deal with it!! People say stupid
things all the time! I should know :-) Just get over it and enjoy a
great game.
-- The Man from Ganymede
What's with people starting letters with "Anyways"...? TMfG is right,
for the most part. I mean, if you can endure Xenogears' dialog, by all means,
do so! However, the bland and wordy dialog isn't exactly... occasional. :D
***
Yo Rantmeister,
Believe it or not, I'm actually going to have to agree with you (more or
less) with Tuesday's Rant, although probably not for the exact same
reasons ...
You are right. The script in Xenogears is horrible. It's not horrible on a
poor translation, "You spoony bard." level, but on a content level.
Xenogears is one of the best role playing games that I have played in
years. Period. What makes it especially engaging is its' story. But, I
think that they could have expressed everything in much fewer words. Like
a lot.
My biggest problem with the script in Xenogears is it's too #!&@ long! I
have never played an RPG with this much text. Ever. There are segments in
the game that take a looooong time to go through, that are topped off by a
battle at the end. If you lose the battle, you gots to go through it all
again.
Personally, I'm a very fast reader. I always set my message speeds to the
fastest possible in a game. But, for some strange reason, this text-heavy
RPG has decided to leave that feature out (or if it is in there, I'm just
being dense and can't find it. I get that way sometimes ...) It's annoying
(for me) when I am forced to read text at the speed presented by the game.
With a game that has this much text, sometimes it turns into a chore.
If this letter should happen to get printed, I'd like anyone that
reads it to not think that I'm trashing Xenogears. I love the game.
But, this is a critique (a foreign word for some people) and Xenogears is
far from perfect.
Think about it, won't you?
-- The Famous Teddy Z
A little editing never hurts. It's painful for an
author to trim down his or her work, but it's almost always a
good idea. I quote from The Elements of Style: "Omit useless words!"
I've never heard better advice in my life. Well, except for "Drop that
cup! It's not lemonaid you idiot!"
Please note that I won't be printing any more "Xenogears has dull/wonderful
dialog" letters. I'm sure after the rant and these three questions--one
agreeing with me, one disagreeing, and one kinda in the middle--my readers
have heard quite enough.

This letter is Unfit for Print, alright?
I definitely agree with your rants about Xenogears script, they do rant on
too much. But I want to bring up a little pet peve that has been annoying
me forever:
"Alright."
Square, if you're reading this, "alright" is not a word! Look it up in
the dictionary; I guarantee you won't find it. I mean, it's all right
(heh) to write it in an email or a chat room, but to have it in a
published video game, come on! Why am I annoyed by this? I don't know.
I'm not even that big on grammar! Possibly the same reason people are
annoyed by "Off course" and "I got a good feeling!" (actually, some are
rather amused by those mistranslations). Xenogears and the Final Fantasy
series are two that use "alright," among many others. (Don't get me
wrong; Xenogears and Final Fantasies are my favorite games.)
Oh, I should go now so I can do step 5, drink a refreshing can of Dr.
Pepper. Aaaaaaaaah!!
-- Crono & Dekar
Sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut and not complain.
This is one of those times. For future reference, it's always a good
idea to do at least a little research before writing in...
Taking Crono's advice, I looked up "Alright" in the dictionary. And, um,
found it. See for yourself, here's the link to
Merriam-Webster.
Though there's a bit of controversy surrounding it, "Alright" is most definatly a
word. At least according to one of the most respected dictonaries in the world.
(Not exactly the McMahan Guarantee, was it?)
Besides, it's perfecltly fine for characters in stories to say "alright". Heck,
it's a lot more natural than "all right". You'll never hear anyone answer
a question with "off course", but you'll most certainly hear someone say
"alright"--as opposed to, say, "All (pause) right".

Quickies that'll make your mouth water
Lord Wombat asked: "Do you plan to purchase, or at least rent Saga Frontier 2?"
Yeah, I'll rent it, if only to check out the insane graphics. So far, I really
dig the graphics style. Most unique look I've seen since Yoshi's Island. Or
Storybook. Or whatever the heck they ended up calling it.
//
Deuce wrote: "Yeah, the Japanese version also had those voices in the Sister
Ray firing sequence. No difference at all." Thanks to everyone who wrote in.
I guess that kid wasn't sneaking into Ian's stash after all. :D
//
Rob Emes wrote: "You gotta love Sega's sense of humor, releasing the Dreamcast
on the traditional SCEA-big game date." Sega reminds me of a repressed Cathloic
school girl sometimes. "Tee hee! I'm Sega! I'm just so naughty!" Well,
fine. So that's the only time Sega has ever reminded me of a repressed Cathloic
school girl. Sue me.
//
And finally, an unnamed RPGamer wrote: "Hello". Yes, that's it. And I thought I was scared
when that dude drew a bullet wound on my forehead.

Thor Stuff
I wasn't flamed! I wasn't flamed! Whooohoo! Who's da man? That's right, me!
Yeehaw!
Gloating rocks.
Anyway, I'm glad ya'll liked my rant. As I said yesterday, expect more on a
somewhat weekly basis. I'm full of complaints (and constructive ideas, I
promise), so stay tuned every Tuesday or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Heck,
just make RPGamer.com your start page and read Ask Thor after every meal!
I'm gone. I've got to get up early and buy Garage, Inc., then get home and
rush some Xenogears before I start checking mail. Er, actually, I forgot
to mention all the cool stuff I'd do in between. Like make out with my
beautiful girlfriend, and perform the Tree of Woe on Wild ARMs, and
"bench 200", and design a better game than Shigeru Miyamoto,
and turn water into...
Oh, forget it.
- Thor "Huh? What? ...?!" Antrim
One of additions were true. Guess which. :D
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