What's slim, filled with questions and undenyably attractive? Well, besides me: Today's column!
That's right, we're light on the opinion, heavy on the "Huh?", and it's about dern time.
The Archive'll be updated tomorrow or the next day, so for now you all will just have to
be content with the present. Enjoy!
| ||Zelda 64 |
You're mine, Gan(n)on.
||Resistance is futile|
(Isn't that just too cliche?)
| ||Tomorrow (or the next day), the new archive will live! LIVE! Mwahaha!|
The surname game
Lali Ho! I was just wondering... do you know if Crono Lucca, Ayla or
Glenn have last names?
Thor: I don't believe so. What? What do ya want? I'm still not getting
that many Videogame-related questions, just "what do you like better" stuff. :D
"Q", "K", same difference
Hey there Thor man,
I'll keep it short and sweet, a qatar is a persian/middle eastern/and
I think perhaps even Indian weapon that is best described as a
punch dagger. They have handles that are perpendicular to the
blades and are held so that when striking, a punching motion will
nicely embed the blade into the victim of you choice.
-- Justin Evans
Thor: Ahh, yeah. What threw me is that the news bit spelled it "Qatar", not
"Katar". Now I have to cancel that vacation to Qatar... Maybe Voldo'd want my ticked.
I could probably trade it for one of his alternate costumes. Not that, uh, heh, I'd
want it or anything.
Dear most degenerate Norse god,
1. I remember seeing a couple episodes of some anime-style cartoon a few years back that
featured a solo hero who had something that looked like a Dragon Warrior slime riding on his
shoulder. Was there a Dragon Warrior anime series?
As a matter o' fact, there was. In 1990 the first Dragon Quest series was released.
It starred a hero named Aberu and a heroen named Tialah, who went on a bunch of adventures
throughout the 40+ episodes which were made. There is a second series out--also more than
fourty produced--but it doesn't have all that much to do with the first, and from what I've
read it's rather stinky.
2. I love the music in Final Fantasy Tactics. Who composed it, and what other games has he/she worked on?
Masaharu Iwata and Hitoshi Sakimoto. They've worked on the Treasure
Hunter G soundtrack, and that's about all I could find on 'em.
3. Did you know that the final dungeon of FF3j contains a common enemy by the name of Thor?
Dude, I won't be happy until the main character's named after me. Maybe in FFXI, when
they run out of elements.
4. Who's your favorite, Cactus, Dude, or Mankind?
Mankind. Especially "Kiddy" Mankind, back when he teamed w/ Al Snow. Cracked me up
BTW, I was pretty P.O.ed when Reid left, but was quite pleased that a WWF fan took his place.
Yes, I suppose that's butt-kissing, but it's also sincere!
Thor: I don't really know how to take that. I'm glad you enjoy my work, but was the
fact that I like wrestling the best ya could come up with?
Trivial "Thor" question. Fun! Well, for a few. Like me.
Amazing thunder-gad and whatnot; quick note (my
first to you) Thanks for defending the Manga and
Anime people! You are undoubtably the nicest
Guru-type yet... I think.
As for the questions: What is your favorite
Fanfic? I have asked EVERY letters person this,
and none have responded. Hey; Questions are
(yet another RPGirl, and one who complained of
the lack of RPGuys at that!)
-- Greyhawk, head of the Great Ranma Trading Circle
Thor: I probably wouldn't have printed this, except I had just read an awesome
fanfic yesterday. It's called Proposition, and it's on the latest fanfic update.
It was so cool, I decided to go back to my Robert Asprin/Piers Anthony/Craig Shaw Gardener
roots as a writer, and try my hand at some comedic/light fantasy. (I've been stuck in a
Horror rut you wouldn't believe. Clive Barker rocks.)
Wait, back up a sec. You're an RPGirl, looking for RPGuys? Maybe I should introduce
you to Clouded. Then again, this very well could be a Gatekeeper/Keymaster kinda thing...
Stereotypical? Final Fantasy? I'm scared.
I hope this letter finds you well. Er--anyway, couple of things. First of,
in regards to that guy who did the big explanation of the storyline to WA the
other day... He was pretty much correct except for one thing. Van Burace is
not Artican for "the Guard". It's a mistranslation of the word "vambrace",
which is another name for an arm gaurd or bracer. I know you don't personally
care, but I'm sure there are a few of us who'll find it mildly amusing.
Naw, I care. I'm the one who asked for someone to clear up Wild ARMs story. :D
Oh yeah... You're always complaining that not enough people actually ask you
questions. Don't worry; got that covered. Have you ever noticed the sheer
number of stereotypes we've accumulated in RPGs over the last decade? For
instance, we have the strong, not-so-bright guy who acts on impulse and never
says die. And then there's the bitchy bad girl archetype, who's really very
warm and loving underneath, but just needs a little love and understanding to
bring out her true character. Don't forget the optimistic, niave, and
ignorant girl whose never been out in the real world, but her pure disposition
constantly lends hope to the party. And don't forget the newest stereotype,
the mentally unbalanced hero, played most recently by Cloud and Fei. I'm sure
there're many others, I just don't remember'em right now. Anyway, I'll let
you get back to your coffee.
Thor: Ayup, you have a point. I think you're more of against cliches
than stereotypes, though. I mean, I've known a guy like Cloud (weird kid--wound
up in juvie), so Cloud was more of an attempt at a realistic character than Square
being uninventive. Many more unbalanced heroes in RPGs, and it'll shift to
cliche, generating angry letters from fans everywhere. Foo!
Buffy the vampire slayer Vs Sabrina the witch
[A while back someone asked if we liked females as warriors (Tifa) or mages (Aerith).
Dig this feedback. -- Thor]
Hello He Who Makes Thunder,
Just wanted to give my two cents about female fighter and mages. Well,
It actually makes more sense for females to be mages. The reason is that
naturally, women tend to be physically weaker, but also are somewhat
smarter. However, there are always exceptions, and there can be female
fighters. In Chronotrigger, I think they had a good fighter-to-mage
ratio of 1:3, which makes good sense. And also, I think the female
fighters should focus more on agility than brute strength, which is more
natural. I think Tifa is much more believable than Ayla. Well, thanks a
bunch if you posted this letter.
-- John the Wizardry Paladin
In response to you RPGirl who sent in the comment about female and male
fighters and wizards (I'm sure you remember her :) ) I'd say I've always
perferred a female fighter and a male wizard. When you think about it, what
were the best wizards in most RPGs? Magus? The black Wizard from FF1
(assuming it is male). Most of the better wizards are male. But yet most
wizards are protrayed as females, although those aren't as popular. My
favorite for the fighters are all gals. Celes, and Tifa just to name a few.
I think that the male wizards and female fighters are most poples favorites,
and the best remembered basicly because they are different from "normal"
games. Males have always been portrayed as fighters, and females as wizards.
going back to Dragon Warrior 4, for example, you could either pick a male or a
female. The male had a larges strength status, while the female cast spells
I think the point i'm trying to make, is that females have always been
protrayed as the spell-casters, while it was always the male mages who got the
bigger reputaion. And the same goes for the fighters. Could this be some
message the game programmers are trying to send us?........nah
Thor: There ya have it. People seemed equally divided. I lean more towards
females being magic users, myself. Yeah, for the 'guys are stronger' reason. I think
that in your typical fantasy world--lacking martial arts, which change everything--a
girl would do better as a wizard than a warrior. And you know what? I would too. I'm
not the buffiest guy, but I love the idea of killing Orcs. What to do, what
to... Oh, I know,
fireball! FIRE! HAHAHAH! DEATH! FEEL MY CRIMSON FURY-WRATH, PIGHEAD!
<ahem>, you get the point. Besides, fighters have to worry about things like rusty
swords, talking little and bathing even less. Give me that cute lil' pointy hat any day.
"You make Kefka look sane!"
The invisible words become more nonsensical with each passing day. Maybe
you need more sleep, or some fresh air. Just trying to keep you sane, buddy.
-- The Fever
Thor: Invisible... words...? OK, smart guy. If they're "invisible", then
how can you read them? I swear, some people have too much time on their hands.
Hi. Your page is ugly. How're you?
The layout of RPGuru has never appealed to me. In fact, it's partially
due to the layout that I never read it much until now. It's simply not
aestheticly appealing. And while it may seem odd to not read something
because of how it looks, it really does make sense. Y'see, it's actually
kinda hard to read it. You really don't seperate between letters and
Yes, you say "Thor:" in bold, and you sometimes answer inside letters in
italics, but the former isn't enough, and the latter isn't consistent.
If I'm reading a large paragraph of yours, or I'm several paragraphs
down, I can't see "Thor:", nor am I going to look. Then the letters and
your responses pretty much look alike.
The solution is very simple: Make your responses in bold. Do the same
for in-letter responses. It provides visual seperation (we don't just
read the content, we take the page in as a whole -- you need to convince
my eyes that there is supposed to be seperation, on TOP of the content),
which is needed for any Q&A format or derivative. Take a look around on
other webpages, see how they seperate letters and responses, or even look
in magazines. Hell, if you see something you like, use it. Much of
layout and desing is started from looking at what somone else did, and
building on it.
This is how I'd do it though: Titles in blue (I like that), Arial, size
4 or 5, non-bold. Spoiler warnings size 2, again non-bold, but only a
(using the paragraph tage visually seperates the
title and spoiler, while you really want them as one unit). Letters in
normal font (Times New Roman, size=3). Your answers in Arial size 2
(trust me, 3 is much too large, 2 is about the size of Times 3), bold.
Same goes for in-letter responses.
These, of course, are only my suggestions (which means I half expect you
to laugh and throw them out the window), and I only offer them because I
think it would make reading your column that much easier on me. This is
the first time I've really started to read RPGuru, and this has actually
bugged me for a while, I just never bothered with it until now.
Thor: Just started reading the column, eh? Damn, I'm good. As for the
suggestions, I appricate 'em, but they're a bit too drastic for my tastes--and
I've always hated bold black text on a white background. Your complaints haven't
fallen on deaf ears, though, just pointy ones; so I might mess around
with a more "unified" look in a couple of days. But for now, I'm working on getting archive.html
up. (Gimmy one day, I've found the solution. More on that later.)
Deep thoughts by Tadrith Handy
Dear Man with a Big Hammer,
I just recently purchased a Color Gameboy, and since I absolutely love
RPGs, I decided that purchasing all the re-released Gameboy Final Fantasies
was in order. I've just begun playing Final Fantasy Legend III, and
something occurred to me...where did all the upbeat overworld music go? It
seems like Square has been putting some downright depressing overworld
themes, such as in FF7...or perhaps they just toned them down a bit. For
anyone who wishes for a little "old school" RPGs, I'd recommend the Gameboy
ones...they aren't good for an extremely deep story, but overall they're
really fun to play. Especially monster meat..fun to eat, and does funny
things to your characters!
Like give them heart disease! Tee hee, fun!
Square's toned down the music in an attempt to get people over twenty to play
their games. During the NES/GB years, the biggest complaint from adults was
the music. Since you usually hear the overworld theme quite a bit, most composers
try to make it soothing and "loop" well from battle to battle.
Also...why did square stop putting items in barrels and things? Such as in
FF3, you could look inside barrels and find potions and such...it was
really fun sometimes to just explore and search around in barrels or
buckets, or whatever was convenient. I guess when the tile-based background
went away, so did the whole look in barrel idea.
You think that's bad, check out the latest news on FF8: No treasure
chests. There are a few "in the enviroment" items in Final Fantasy 7, though.
Like the seemingly impossible to obtain super elixer in Kalm. (Don't even
ask me how to get it. I know, but I'm not telling! Neiner, neiner!)
Lastly: I agree wholeheartedly with your public humiliation scheme. Your
column was starting to become a chore to read with some of those opinion
letters...the reason I usually read the "Ask XXXX" columns is for those
obscure or interesting pieces of information...if I wanted an opinion, I
would go read the editorials. Good job on cleaning it up! Three cheers for
Thor: "Cleaning it up"? Hey, I like that. Just call me Thor Vega: Letter
Hitman. And yes, I think we were all
growing a bit tired of debate. My new rules is, unless things get really funky,
dedicate no more than 1/3rd of Ask Thor to opinions. Opinions scattered in
a multi-part question, sure. But no more heavy editorialetter days.
Unfit for Print
sup thor, you don't need to print this because it will no doubt conflict
with what I am going to ask you... SHORTEN THE LETTERS SECTION! YOU POST
PEOPLE'S QUESTIONS THAT ARE 250 WORDS THAT REPEAT THE SAME THING! DO
THIS AND THE Q&A WILL BE RESTORED
1) shorten the section (6-7 letters TOPS)
2) only print short questions, and short/medium letters
3) reply with useful info to stuff, not "you suck" or "oh ya" or ";D"
ya ya you won't listen to me. no1 does, even though im right. i know
if you did these things and made it like one of the ign mail/QA pages
it'd rule. but will you listen? nope. ah well i tried. (i didnt use
caps or bother with spelling because I figure this letter will reach
Thor: "didn't use caps"? I wish.
A few questions up, Kupek showed a perfect example of how
to suggest things for Ask Thor. This unfortunate fellow presents just
the opposite. After I said clear as day that the "vote" was 6/1 in
favor of longer columns, he decides to add his opinion. By demanding
I shorten the column. In caps. Shifting the scales from 6/1 to a stunning 6/2.
This is pretty tame as far as UfP's go--I might start saving them, so if
I get more than one a day you can see it later--but I hope it'll present a
good example of how not to get something changed. <sniff> <sniff>... hey, know what I smell?
A Neew Englaanda wrote:
"I was reading one of your responses, and in it you used the term
'wicked'. I wasn't expecting to see that. I myself am from Cape Cod,
Massachusetts. Whereabouts are you from? Or do people out of state
*gasp* actually use the term "wicked" too?" Yes, a rare Californian
or two uses "wicked". I also use "Hella", "Funky", "Flargin'", "Blarg",
and an almost obscene ammount of "Cool". //
In his infinate wisdom, Henry Truong shouted the following from atop
a stormy mountain: "Just in case you were wondering, Thor's hammer is called
Mjollnir." Indeed. Mjollnir ("that smashes") was Thor's hammer. I
don't have hammer. I do have a set of awesome Samurai swords, though. Fear.
A somewhat confused Ion wondered, "What the heck does 'cha!' and 'Pish' mean?"
Well, here goes: Cha! is a valley girl thing. It's a gasp/grunt which roughly
translates to "I like, so, totally, can't, believe, it! Omigod!". Pish is used
to express disdain or contempt. It's a more British version of saying "Tisk
Why do all of today's Quickies involve words and speech? I have no idea. Here's
one that'll break up this somewhat distressing trend: Leif Farney pointed out
it wasn't his Lunar site I mentioned a few days back, just a good one.
Thanks for the correction and discovering America, dude!
Tiny column, huzzah! Isn't it nice not to be able to finish an edition of Ask Thor
and not have to worry about shaving? (Heh heh, not applicable to the ladies. I hope.)
Thanks for all the fixed up/updated archive.html's you all sent me. I wish I could
thank each and every one of ya, but I received too dang many. Seriously--I had
no idea ya'll were that helpful. Thanks. I finally decided to go with a
redesign someone sent me which, while less flashy, loads much faster and will be
a sinch to update.
Tomorrow I shall try and play more Zelda 64. You know, one guy actually wrote in
and said, "Yes, you're right. Us fans really do want you to quit writing and
play some Xenogears!" I pray he was being sarcastic.
- Thor "Q&A Dude" Antrim.
Bruce Campbell rules. Be he Ash or Atocolyes, he rocks. Hardcore.