I'm baaaaack!
Yes, after a week in San Diego/Tijuana, I'm home to recuperate. I now have a drivers license, so those on the streets of Houston, Texas.. Um, fear for your lives or something.
Smashing, baby!
Hey Ryan (creative it isn't),

As stated by JD in yesterday's cullumn, Austin Power: The Spy Who Shagged Me is the "talk of the town". Even Working Designs/Gamearts is. Point in case:

In Lunar: SSSC, after you pass the cave trial to get into vane, if you return to the third to last screen of the dungeon, there is a guy that approximately says:

"You passed the trial? Smashing, baby! Did your flying pussy there help you?"

Anyone who watched the first movie can see the relations. ALSO, if you return to the guy later, when you have Mia in your party, if you talk to the guy (now dubbed Austin by me) once he will say:

(Austin): Gor Blimey! You're Mia Ausa! Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?

Mia: What?

(Austin): Oh, come on, Mia! You're the village bicycle... everyone's hip to that tune!"

And if you talk to him a second time he will say:

"This cave is dangerous, baby. Then Again, danger is my middle name"...

There are too many references to the first movie for this to be a coincidence. And that's your amusing/off topic letter of the day, baby! (just couldn't resist)

-freaky_g, international man of mystery

Ryan: Actually, I believe those references were put in by Working Designs, but they're what makes Lunar so funny. They make a lot of references to American pop culture (there're quite a few in the ending, not all of them nice either ;) I really wish other companies would do this, but then not everyone likes it. To each his own.
I don't think those are numbered..
Hey Ryan Shamrock..err... Amos!

Ah, the orgasmic joy of numbered kwestshuns!!

*)I can buy one game, which should it be, Lunar or SO2?

&)Rock, paper, scissors?

^)If you had a picture of your mom getting it on with a lizard, would you a:sell it for big $$$, b: blackmail the woman, or c: burn the picture and sterilize your hands?

%)Rocky Miavia or Steve Austin, who gets more applause?

The Two known as One Big @$$#0(e

Ryan: Shamrock? I'm only 3/4 Irish..

*) It all depends. Star Ocean 2 is a giant game with a lot of secrets and over 80 endings. Lunar, on the other hand, is shorter, but it's a great oldschool RPG. I haven't played SO2 yet, but I've heard mixed reviews. Most people I've talked to likes Lunar (except for its length.)

&) Rock! (and roll baby!)

^) I won't diginify this question with an answer.

%) Stone Cold all the way.

Birthday suits rock!

Nudity is certainly an interesting topic to bring up. This has never been a "trend" or a new fad for Japan, it's merely that overly-conservative America is finally begining to wake up and realize that the body is not an evil thing. Sure, idiots like Square USA send the whole thing backwards by cutting Xenogears, but there's hope. Just voice your approval of such matters to the publishers. Ja!

Maou Jakki

Ryan: Well, I really could care less on the issue. If you really want nudity, go buy a porno video or something, but game developers aren't about to put it in games which would scare off mothers who see "NUDITY!" plastered on the label of the game. It's all about sales. I find it interesting that the very people who want to see nudity in video games are more often than not the 12 to 14 year olds the censorship is supposed to protect. Personally, I don't see why it's such a big deal, but some people don't want to see it, and I believe their wishes should be respected (again, if you really want nudity, there are video stores which specialize in it.) I know I'll get flamed for this, oh well.
Shadow Anger
am i the only one who is utterly disturbed by the way EVERY character in shadow madness turns to follow you as you walk around the room? i mean, don't they have ANYTHING better to do? i ran circles around the guy, and he was just locked onto me. i couldn't get away from that gaze.

it freaks me out. im scared of that game.

Ryan: Me too. I thought it might be decent coming from former Square employees, but then it dawned on me: former Square USA employees. Doh. Secret of Evermore 2. Oh well, I didn't like the game that much. It's a good thing I didn't get to review it, I couldn't stand it more than about an hour.
Shen huh?
Hey, what do you think of Online RPG's? MUD's? I've played MajorMUD before and it was ok. No real plot though. KNow of any really good, free online games? I'd really appreciate it if you could tell us some if you know of any. I heard Everquest is pretty good, but it's $10 a month! eek!


Ryan: I don't really like online RPGs. By nature, they can't really have much of a plot. MUDs have the most plot of them all, but they're text based. I never tried Ultima Online, but I never really was a fan of Ultima anyway. Seriously though, how much fun can multi-player menu based combat be? Not much, methinks. I have a Mac, so naturally I get shafted on all the games, but from what I've seen, I'm not missing much.
Count yerself lucky

I just purchased Star Ocean 2 and was wondering if you (if you have bought/rented it), or any of the readers, have had problems with it locking up? Currently, I have just rescued the children from the bandits in the forest at Mars (chose Rena at the beginning, don't know if the game progresses the same if you choose Claude--this is my first time through), and am now building up experience in the forest. In the past hour of playing, it has locked up on me 5 times--I've tried with and without the analog stick on and it still locks up. Just want to make sure I didn't get a bum copy, seeing as how I haven't heard anything about the game locking up from other people. And if anyone cares, I enjoy the music in the game. =) Much better than Xenogears, in my opinion. I like how they added the little "Star Trek" touch in the intro music.

Ryan: This happens in a lot of games, especially if you have an old Playstation. A trick I picked up was to turn the system upside down, it works 99% of the time. As for the Star Trek, look at the logo. The font is like, exactly the same as Trek. Now, I'm not a big Trekkie or anything (that's Mike's job) but it's pretty obvious. :)
Do I make you horny?
Ask Ryan
I'm shagadellic
Cryogenically frozen for your enjoyment
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Super Mario Brothers Deluxe
Get it, it rules. Trust me.
Hey Ryan what's up?

I was wondering something.....I heard that Final Fantasy 9 was supposed to be about FF8's Laguna Loire, is that true?

No idea. We know nothing about FF9 other than it's for PSX and will be released in Japan sometime early next year. Hopefully more info will be released soon.
If President Clinton were a character in FF7, who would he be? Don Corneo. Definately Don Corneo.

Ryan sez:

I know you missed me. Or at least the fact that I post a column every day. Hey, they may be really short, but they're there. They wouldn't be short if a lot of people didn't decide to send 20 page letters (those are for editorials, not a letters column. :) I may just get my own "Mini me" to help. It'd be called "Ask Ryan and his midget counterpart" I guess. Okay, you can tell I'm really reaching for humor. Adios!

Ryan "Shagwell" Amos
Yes, I saw it yesterday. Sheesh.

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