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Andrew - Decemeber '02- 2:00 Central Standard Time

What an odd week. First, half of you send your worst RPG experiences to Google, which shows how blind you people are to host changes.
Second, you idiots, and I mean that in the kindest way possible, suddenly jump to conclusions and assume Google is a girl. For every decent fanboy/girl out there, hundreds of others lie in wait, hoping that their slimy host is a woman, so they can proceed with the stalking and lecherous comments.
Well, I for one wonít be apart of this! When Google and I go out for dinner Friday night, Iíll be sure to tell her that youíre all a bunch of horny poopyheads, and I do believe heíll agree with me.
Now to celebrate my longest intro ever, heís a letter column of some sort!

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My Dadís deathblows are cooler then your Dadís combos!

Dear Andrew,
I bring you an experience to mock mercilessly, seeing as it was my fault it happened.
My worst RPG experience was when I was saving my dad's Xenogears game for him while he went and made coffee for himself, and I overwrote my own save game by accident.
My save game, which I had played earlier in the morning (it was at night) had all the characters' deathblows and combos, which I had spent the whole morning acquiring. While my dad had progressed a lot further than me, his charas had no deathblows or combos or anything.
There. Now laugh.

Bahahahaha! Bwahahahaha! You needed deathblows and combos for Xenogears?! Bahahahaha! Good lord, why? Bahahahahaha!

When in doubt, turn to an angst ridden Weekend host. Yeah, thisíll end well.

I'm designing (and eventually programming) an RPG. I'm asking people questions about their opinions about various aspects of RPGs so that I can utilize that information to assist in determining various aspects of my RPG. Since I think that you do a good job on the Q&A column, you are blatantly honest, and you have played a wide range of RPGs, I'm asking you, too.
1. What type of combat system do you prefer?
2. Do you prefer random battles (ie, Final Fantasy) or non-random battles (ie, the Chrono series)?
3. Would you rather have 3 or 4 characters in you party at once?
4. Any other opinions you have about what makes a good or bad RPG.
Thanks for answering these questions

Frankly, I think you should create your game based on your own preferences, but hey, since you asked...
1. Free roaming, with the option to turn on auto-battle.
2. Both. Random for the overworld, no random for dungeons.
3. As many people as are needed. I always thought itíd be neat to play more RPGs with only the main character.
4. Look. Go play a bunch of RPGs, Buttercup. You donít need my cockeyed opinion for this question.

Who else sobbed like a baby at the end of Final Fantasy 9?

I've got a couple bad experiences:
1. Playing FF3, I was fighting Phunbaba (I was about to type "phighting!") and I had two of my characters dead, Terra up but just barely, and I knew I needed one more good hit. So I broke out my second-to-last Magicite and hoped for a good Esper. I got Crusader. (It attacks both your party and the enemy.)
2. My SNES seems to be having problems with keeping cartridges level. So if you want to see me scream, jiggle the cartridge in the slot just so...and it will erase ALL my save games.
And this doesn't really count as a bad experience, but when I was in sixth grade, I beat Link's Awakening. The ending really got me. I couldn't play the game again for six months.]
Card Captor Ribby

1. Thatís hilarious.
2. I would of just broke down and bought a new one.
3. That was a depressing ending, wasnít it? I hope if Iím ever shipwrecked, Iíll have a dream like that AND wake up clinging to a piece of driftwood. Maybe my dream would have a little more poontang in it though.

My Super Nintendo survived being hurled into a brick wall. This guyís must have had some crippling childhood illness. Like being spit into.

Hello Andrew,
My worst RPG experience? Easy. It was with Final Fantasy 2 (now known as IV) for the SNES. I'm not sure if my copy was bad or something, but it had (and still has) the worst battery save I've ever seen. I remember the first time it reset my game. I had just gotten Edge, and was thrilled because he had two swords, could steal, cast ninja magic, etc. I go and save, and the next time I start the game... BAM, my save is gone. Now, this was about 10 years ago, so I was about 11 and wasn't too thrilled about losing all that work. This has happened at least half a dozen times since then, though on the plus side, I can now beat the game in 12 hours (the last 2 are spent getting Rydia up to 60... stupid Meteo) so I guess it worked out anyway, but it was bad when it happened.
Thanks for the time,

I had the same problem with FF4. Except it happened every time I lost to those stupid dolls in the dwarfís castle. After they had reamed me, and Iíd lost my beloved Rydia yet again, my SNES would MYSTERIOUSLY be horribly maimed.


My worst RPG experience came from when I was a young'un just starting into the world of RPGs...
It was in the first Lufia, and I had spent some hours leveling and I had just spent a rather long time on some stupid boss (a ghost or something in some dungeon to save some kid or something? I can't really remember) and I was just leaving the place (dungeon = cave, maybe?) AND THE POWER WENT OFF!!! WHAT THE FRIG?!?! I lost so many hours because I was a stupid little kid and didn't save often.. damnit. I was stupid back then... but now...

I think I can safely say that the power going off is one of the prime reasons gamers chuck their controllers through TVs. Well, that and the Alundra series.

I actually just had my worst rpg experience. I dug out Phantasy Star 1 and played through it. Much to my dismay I remembered that if you don't have a Transfer or enough MP to cast Fly, you are stuck on the Sky Castle. I can beat Lassic all I want, but the ending is out of reach because I saved it when Alis only had 1MP. Waaaaaaah *sniff* *sniff*

I could of sworn there was a way to bypass that. Readers, little help?

Worst moment for me would be with Final Fantasy 7 on the PC, and that bloody movie buffer underrun at the Crater. How I loath those fruitless prepatched hours. Oh, then I gave up the game for a while and the computer crashed with all of my save files. Typical, no?

No, not really typical. Maybe typical for someone with a Pentium 1, but I canít say anything like that has happened to anyone I know.

Hey! I have some questions about the PS2. Sometimes, while I am playing a DVD or game, the system will freeze up. How can I stop this? Also, sometimes the system will not even start. No picture, nothing except the sound of the PS2. I checked the wiring, and it's all fine, and the discs are clean too. What should I do?

Buy a new PS2. Did you really need a Q&A host to tell you something this obvious?

Hello Andrew,
I like the coment you had about make this into a comic strip. I think you should at least once with your wit I think it would be funny. Question, I've play many rpgs but mostly new crapy ones. I've found I perfer old school games but I can't find that many good ones. So what old school rpgs would you recomend other then Final fantasy or Dragon Warrior?
Peace from CJay

Well, for old school RPGs, nothing beats the Lunar series. You shouldnít have much trouble finding them. As for the comic strip, thatís the stupidest thing Iíve ever heard.

The Final Grumble:

Iíve been watching a lot of Fruitís Basket lately, and decided to check out what I am in the Chinese Zodiac.
ďYou are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the person you love. However, you have a tendency to be quick-tempered and overly critical. You are also inclined to be somewhat of an opportunist. Born under this sign, you should be happy in sales or as a writer, critic, or publicist.Ē
The Chinese are watching me...

Andrew "The bizznatch" Duff


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