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Andrew - December 13 '02- 2:00 Central Standard Time

I suppose itís my fault. Like the lemmings you are, without a topic to guide you from last week, I get a handful of letters and quickies that would make a retard weep for humanity. Well, lets get on with it.
Oh, and Finals were brutal. Thanks for asking.

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One informative letter.

Hey, Tomm here--just dialing in to clear something up.
Mythri GBA will feature entirely brand new graphics--not a single sprite or tile from the GBC version is reused for the game. So worry not, you'll be getting a 32-bit portable game, not a port of an 8-bit one. Check in the near future for a full review of exactly how Mythri will differ from its GBC prototype, and keep your eyes on for updated screenshots as they roll in. I think you'll enjoy them.
Have fun, game carefully.

Always good to hear from you, Tomm. There you have it folks. Weíre being treated to a nicely revamped Mythri. Iím certainly excited about pretty graphics.

One old ripoffy letter.

Well, hello there Andy how you've been? Okay then, first your questions...
How many readers want to go into the video game industry? What do you want to do in it? Make games, write for video game magazines, advertise for game companies? How do you intend to get there? Who do you want to work for? Why? And for the rest of the readers reading the column for kicks, what would your dream RPG be like?
First, by my count so far according to your readers, six!
Second, I would like to be a graphics designer, and/or main programmer of the game itself. In my opinion, they have an upper hand in the development of the game. But overall, I would like to be the director or producer of the game since they created the story and plot of the game in the first place!
Third, I would like to make my dream game, write articles explaining my concepts for the games, and develop ways to advertise for it, like making a catch phrase or writing cool details about my games.
Fourth, I intend to get there through attending courses on computer science, computer animation, computer programming, and other courses of that nature.
Fifth, I would like to work for some sub-company of Square. (Despite that merger, they still have talent and common sense and won't mess up their most sacred and holiest of all their work, alright?)
Sixth, I have some really creative ideas for RPGs and I want to be one of those "rising stars" in the RPG business like the creator of Final Fantasy. I forgot his name for the moment, but anyway I would like to start from the bottom and rise up to the top. That would be nice to do, wouldn't you think?
Finally, my dream RPG is pretty unique for its variety.
First, every playable character is from a different nationality with different origins and their own different style of fighting. For example, flying characters have absolute freedom on the field since they have wings and not limited to ground attacks. Elementals become strong or weak depending on their environment. Even living computer programs, like a living Digimon but more realistic, could use the power of cyberspace to influence r obotic enemies to do their bidding. The point is each character would have individual traits and styles in the game.
Second, the plot would be constantly changing. For example, first the main character would look for his friend through a couple of towns. Second, the main character would then go rescue for his new-found girlfriend after she was kidnapped. Then, the main character would wind up fending for his life on some undiscovered continent. Then, the main character would wind up being a mercenary for a while to survive on another continent. Next, the main character would be caught up in some unknown war between two dimensia. The point is the goal would change constantly for the game.
Third, the graphics would be cel-shaded. However, the background would be 3-D polygonal. It would be like this for the world map, the battle screens, the field screen, and the town/dungeon scenes. The camera angle would be fixed or focused so its not screwed up and there would be lack of blocky graphics. The point is realistic graphics count. Finally, the side-quests would be different genres of the same game. For example. one side area would be a fighting arena like Tekken. Another side quest would be an old set of arcade games. Another example would be a game shop where card game tournaments are held. One more example would be a puzzle game reached through a specific game portable within the game. My point is a total variety of side-quests with fabulous prizes for all that hard work as incentive.
In the end, interesting characters, intriguing plot, real graphics, and fun sidequests would make up my dream RPG. Nice, huh?
Now, a question to you about the video game industry. If you DO give your dream RPG on a CD to your boss as a low-level grunt and you do get a promotion, would copyright go to the creator, the publisher, the boss, or what? In other word, explain the copywright issues that occurs with creating your own RPG.
Peace out,
Huge Dreamer

P.S. Sum 41 Rules!

Not to dumb down your dream RPG, but it sounds like a combination of a lot of other popular games/anime/porn. Your ideas are very unfocused now, and my advice to you, Dreamer, is to actually focus and get these ideas down on paper. Then you can talk game designing for real. Good luck.

And one freaking stupid letter.

ok, I have a question about Final Fantasy Chronicles for Gamecube.Is it going to be anything like the Final Fantasy's in the past? I am also worried about the quality of the game.I read up on it, and they said they didn't take much time making it.I mean is it going to be Final Fantasy Mystic Quest all over again?They're not just Labeling it Final Fantasy to make it a demand are they?Final Fantasy is a quality series, And I hope this game lives up to it's name, that's all I'm worried about.What do you thing about it?

Ever heard of using enter to separate your questions and make your letters easier to read? Well, you just heard now.
1. Have ANY of the Final Fantasy games been like each other then a few repeating characters/items?
2. Okay, ass. FFMQ was a pretty damn good game for the time, and if you donít like RPGs where you can jump, then feel free to go to hell. And who told you the game was going to be rushed? Your mother?
4. I think that you have a lot in common with earthworms, thatís what I think.


I loved the Phantasy Star series from sega, and jumped at the chance to get it for the GBA. But why didn't they include 4? I thought it was the best game out of the whole series, and now with the release of the collection on PS2, i have to buy that one now just to play 4. Dang Sega and their schemes to get money from us!

Look, you figured it out for yourself. Sega wants your money, and is doing a really good job of ripping us all off. Did you just send this email to confirm that video game companies are in the business of making money and will sink to crap like this for it?

Hi Andrew
How do you think the merger of Square and Enix is going to effect the game quality in North America?

You know what I think? That youíre an idiot.

I was wondering if you know if FFX2 has Shiva in it. Since she sortof blew up in the last one. If it does not then that will stink cause she has been my fav. summon.

And I was wondering if you had the IQ of a turnip. I was right.

First things first, YOU ROX DA ASS CAKES!!(TM)
Dammit, I shattered my GameShark for my PSX and I was wondering--will a PS2 GameShark work for all my PlayStation One games? Like FF7 and Xenogears?
It's the only way I can play that W&$*#@&$8 *(#$*#($* 8348> Vagrant Story. I did beat it with it, but in a way it makes it even harder--enemies can kill you with one hit.. that mutha (%#&(*%& game is insane bitch. Yeah...

You shattered your GameShark? Dear God, what did you do? Freeze it and hit with a hammer, you sad excuse for a human being?
No, 3rd party cheating programs are not backwards compatible, and coming from a guy with both divine and turd in his nickname, I think you should be focusing less on cheating your way through sucky games and more on your self-esteem issues.

I just have a quick question..... seeing as google says Dual Hearts is not an RPG why do you guys cover non-rpgs in your game section?

To mess with your head. After the column is done, weíre heading over to your house and heaving bricks at your front door. Sleep well.

Ya, know, the videogame industry has become a mockery in which everygame released is but a flash in the pan--followed by another--and yet another; in which a chain of $60.00 bills accumulate and shit. I have abandoned it in favor of the greater goodness of books. They are cheaper, timeless, less demanding, and more giving.
By-by bastard gameworld--hello goodness. Screw you game developers of the world!!
Wow, that felt extremely good. :-)

So whatís it like being a brainless donkey suck who thinks that one medium of expression is better then another? Why do you think authorís write books? Certainly not to pay the bills, since that would go against their art!
No really, this is like denouncing music because silence is more timeless. God, youíre stupid.

The Final Grumble:

This weekendís topic? The Holiday season is upon us. What do you want to get for your respective celebration? Iíd prefer to hear about wacky, horribly nerdish gifts. Got your fingers crossed for that new server? Really hoping your parents got the clue for the complete Trigun gift set? Getting your girlfriend/boyfriend a Totoro plushie? I want to know about it.
And for all of you soul less RPGers out there with no friends or family, item creation in RPGs. Useless, or fun? Why should I spent an hour gathering items to create a sword that I could have easily bought in a store? Why are we driven in games to give one character the steal ability? Isnít it more fun to raid an NPCís house for that lousy potion then simply to buy it? Lets hear your thoughts.

Andrew "Just awful." Duff

Hobit?! Oh wait, weapon of mass destruction! Haha, my mistake!

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