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Andrew - November 17 '02- 2:00 Central Standard Time

Look ladies, I'm not your personal spell checker. If you don't read over your own letters and correct your mistakes, I certainly won't, just like Google doesn't correct my mistakes. I've been receiving a bunch of great feedback from everyone, and I'd like to say thanks to everyone who cared enough to write in. Granted, I'm confused to why anyone would want to invoke my wrath by telling me that they love my style, but hey, I'm not the one who's going to get chewed out.

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Hello Andrew, who shall now be called Duff-Man (Yes that's a rip-off and should not be taken anyone),

A few questions, and a rebuttal towards a comment you recieved yesterday.

#1: What is your favorite RPG and why?

#2: Do you like Japanimation, if yes, favorites?

#3: Do you know what this means? "More seldom than not, the movies give us exquisite sex, and wholesome violence that underscores our values. Every two child did. I will."

#4: If you could sum up your reasons for becoming a Q&A man in one word, what would it be?

Thanks, Ricky Takare

P.S. I love your sarcastic attitude, we need more sarcasm in the world.


1. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. If you want to argue over whether it's actually an RPG, you can take it up with your mom, because she actually gives a damn about you think.

2. Yes, I enjoy good anime. My favorite series as of now is Abenobashi, Magical Shopping District. Nothing beats dimension hoping kids who keep losing their underwear.

3. Humanity is only what we make of it. Without "outrageous" violence and sexuality, we would have nothing to base, and form, society norms and mores on. Of course, not everyone gets it, as shown in those who rebel in the most stereotypical way possible, such as pretty much everyone with a mohawk. Now, stop asking me questions that pertain to us as individuals, and lets get back to questions about where you tell me where to stick it.

4. FURY?

GBA vs. Hell. The debate contuines!

first off let me say that you are an awesome host! Nobody could have filled the spot better. anyway moving onto talk of other games

Metroid Prime...i simply cannot wait for it, its good to try something new.

But lastly, would you recommend buying a GBA? the nostalgic rpgs are just too intoxicating, what should I do? should i focus money into Cube? or go for the GBA? thanks a bunch


Go for the Game Boy Advance, Barieuph. While Nintendo may bottom out with Gamecube against the crushing forces of Sony and Microsoft, the chances of the GBA being overthrown in the handheld market is slim to nill anytime soon. There are plenty of great games, and like you said, I'm in it for the nostalgia value. The only downside is the sheer amount of dirt-poor games for the system, which can be easily overcome by having a damn opinion of your own instead of asking a Q&A host who hates you about what games you should buy. By the way, I hear the Hamtaro game is really kick ass!

Good questions. So I'll ignore them!

A few quick questions for you.

1.) You've moved Shining Soul from "Upcoming" games to the "Series" section - does this mean Sega officially will not bring this game over? :( Quite a pity if so.

2.) Your Fire Emblem: The Sealed Sword page (also moved to the "Series" section) says Nintendo affirmed this game for North American release. When will it come out, and why's it not on the "Upcoming" page anymore if so?

3.) Do you think Lunar Legend will be worth the purchase without Working Designs doing the translation? If I remember correctly, Ubi Soft translated Grandia II for DC and I hated the dialogue...

4.) The upcoming page has Tales of Phantasia listed for GC and GBA, but the newslets say it's just coming for GBA - and is it coming to the U.S.? thanks!

Derek Thompson

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)


Those are some fantastic questions, Derek. So it sucks that I don't know any of the answers. Lucky for me and you that I can turn this over to the only man who could answer such deep questions, THE LORD OF THE SQUIDS.

1. Most likely, yeah. Sega hasn't moved on this game, and has announced no plans to bring it over, so it's just not particularly likely. Also, if we haven't heard of plans for a US release 6 months after a game's debut, it automatically gets moved from 'Upcoming' to 'Series' or 'Other'.

2. The official reason can be seen above, but like other GBA games Nintendo said it was bringing over (Magical Vacation...grrr), nothing has been seen or heard about Fire Emblem: The Sealed Sword since. And honestly, if Nintendo really wanted it out over here, it'd already be out.

3. Well, that depends on wether or not you'd like to see what Lunar read like in Japan, where WD obviously was uninvolved with the dialogue. Honestly, I'm not too interested in yet another version of Lunar, and one that takes itself seriously at that. But that's just me.

4. Well, the original newslets were a little confusing, as Namco announced like 15 "Tales of..." games at once. Yeah, there's one for both GC and GBA coming, and they're both seperate games. No word on a US release from Namco yet, and as they're not out in Japan yet, I wouldn't expect word until sometime late spring, likely at E3.

And that's all I gots to say about that! SDHero, Newsie and Master of all things Squid.

An editorial in a column?! What will I do next?

'ey cha- er, Andrew

My favorite MMORPG? None.

Lets look it over... (A All mmorpgs are massive killing fests with idiots running around with the occasional intelligent people here and there (B The devolpers support this because, yeah, its profitable because somehow people are addicted to this crap so instead of making it entertaining they just make the leveling fast even longer with slightly cooler bonuses here and there

So there we have it, MMORPG players are idiots and MMORPG devolpers are just feeding the fire without even trying to improve it at all. Plus I'm stuck on shotty dial-up which makes the pieces of *censored* even harder to play, but regardless I got more than enough taste of *censored* on a decent connection or when dial-up was playable to realize their all the same in diffrent wrapping paper that may or may not be shinier.

And then lets hit on the flood of MMORPGs. Lets see, 30 or so coming out in a similar timeframe. Nearly every one of them will die horrendusly because its not like buying a normal game, you have to pay monthly. No one is going to buy all of them and play them all unless their bloody rich. They might get momentary pay from people who buy it to try it, but thats it. Thus, this massive massacre will scare the companys into never making MMORPGs again, killing any chance of making them decent for even longer. Granted, there WILL be some who survive (I'm betting on verant, they have the EQ junkies on their side) but they'l just keep churning out the same crap until it stops working.

With all this *censored*, it'l take years and years before MMORPGs have any chance of becomeing decent, which is just as well because more gameplay-oriented games are still quite hard to pull off even with nothing but broadbands. So the way I see it, MMORPGs for years to come: crap. MMORPGs of the future: *drool*.


No real questions, but I'm inclined to agree with Hawk. Could we yet a "Yo yo!" from any supporters of MMORPGs? Because you guys are getting reemed harder then a school girl at a tentacle monster convention, and even I'm starting to feel bad for the lot of you rat killing freaks.

Looking for sympathy in all the wrong places.

Hi there,

1. I think you are a very good host, mostly because you insulted everyone for the same reasons I would have insulted them. Especially the people complaining about Metroid.

2. I'm looking forward to Worlds of Warcraft myself. I like the Warcrafts games and
I feel about Blizzard the way some feel about Square. What do you think is going to be the next great MMORPG?

3. I was just wondering if you can think of any gameboy, gameboy color, or gameboy advance rpg that would be worth playing. I have a gba and I played Golden Sun and the Castlevania's. I was thinking about getting one of the Megaman Battle Network games. What's your opinion? I have no beef with bad graphics bear that in mind.

4. Have you ever played FF5? Do you (like others) think it's the worst FF game? Could you tell me why people feel this way? I like the game dangit! Sure the story wasn't that great

Possible Final Fantasy V spoiler

a twig tries to take over the world, which turns out to be worlds, which is actually just world, someone dies, their exact match takes over etc. I liked the class system though it was basic but still fun. And Gilgamesh's theme was/is awesome.

End spoiler

5. Please print my letter... please... I'm so lonely...



1. That isn't a question. Stop trying to make me feel better about destroying people's self-esteem.

2. See Hawk's letter above. All MMORPGs suffer from the same damn problems, so unless you get a HUGE, worth 10 bucks a month, kick out of playing RPGs with your friends that have poop storylines, we're stuck till a company designs a MMORPG that is actually what it claims to be. Or hell, you could always play the game of life. Gain mass exp from going to school! Learn new fighting techs in martial art clubs! Get the heroine! Super realistic cut scenes and a over 80 years of gameplay! Best of all, it's totally free of monthly charges! Right now, I'm a level 18 writer with a cool group of party members and a metric ton of magic items. Maybe we can play together sometime, Tellah.

3. Breath of Fire series is always a good, if standard experience, and I've heard good things about the battle network series. Tell you what, give it a try and tell me how they were.

4. It was less that FF5 is bad, and more that releasing it in the US so long after it's Japanese release left a lot of gamers disappointed. I would have been very happy with FF5 if it had come out right after FF4. And yeah, the plots stupid, but hey, the class system is sweet. I bet FF5 at like, triple speed would be pretty enjoyable though.

5. Trust me, by printing this letter, your crushing loneliness will only increase. End it now by attempting to explain the plot of Final Fantasy 5, or hell, any Final Fantasy.


Hi Andrew
What do think about these final fantasy sequals that everyone know about. Quiet frankly im happy there making them because square has never made a sequal to final fantasy that i know of. But im also angry because i think its the ever changing story line and new charactors that make it great. Like they say with movies is the sequal is never as good as the first.

Ryu_19 thank you letter for! Question ask is good. Why do square m3ss us aroud so? Me not want whiny cloud in game! Me want bouncy tifa! Movie that goad is one that new, not old!

read that there were rumors on square continuing on the ff7 story. Since the game has many fans. Know anything about it? It said so in some japanese magazine.
Jrn Smme

You bet I know about it, Jorny! In this adventure, Aerith and Red 13 were successfully bred together to create a son called Goku, who wanders about 500 years after the first game to discover his powers. Sounds like it could be a real hit.

I think you're the only person I've ever heard badmouthing Golden Sun. Weird.

On another note, What gives that caustic, I-hate-you-so-much-I-just-want-to-lash-out-irrationally quality to your writing? Is crippling emotional pain? Or something far more sinister?

~ Mithel, Illustrious General of the ORZ. Don't make me *Frumple*

I spent a great deal of time reviewing games for the amateur RPG designing community called OHR,( and after playing enough poopy DBZ and Sailor Moon fan games, it gave me a personality that is most often described as "an acid bath without the welcoming embrace of death at the end."

Who the &$%! is Thrawn? My dork friends all know and they laugh because I don't. Then again...maybe I should just get new friends.
Wolfie :) my little Barret cussing thing?

In a certain Star Wars book series, General Thrawn was the bad ass who took over after Darth Vader and spent his time throwing giant drills at the Empire's enemies, and pretending he knew what the hell was going on.

I like how blunt you are with people, I.E.(retarded questions that people ask, including myself of course). My question actually involves knowledge of gaming though! (new concept!). How do you beat the boss of Vagrant Story? I hated that game sooo very much and maybe thats why he seemed hard, lack of care. Supply an answer please! -AlbinoMonkeyKing

First, take the "Spear of the Water Maiden" and then a "Heart of the Fire Dragon" and combined them to make the, "Squeaky Duck Toy". Take this to the old man in the lizardman's dungeon, and use the third reply, "I don't have enough time for tea." This will drop the final boss to 1 hp, and you shouldn't have any problems slaying that creature's punk ass.
...or hell, you could just check out our FAQs.

The Final Grumble:

Alright troops. Next weekend's topic is love in RPGs. Painfully forced? Tear jerkingly sweet? What would you like to see in love stories that never seem to make it into the "thumbed down" market of video games? Got any real life love stories brought on by your favorite game? Oh, and let's keep this high brow and not mention stories about how Aeris made you cry. Till next weekend, I'm Andrew Duff, and you're my audience.

Andrew "SNL Sucks" Duff

I said it. I'll say again and again and again...

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