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As you pointed out, this is kinda a sob story plea for a game, but since I was once a starved college guy I guess I have some empathy with your situation. Five years later, I still refuse to eat another package of ramen noodles. Bleh.

Anyways, since you seemed to be the most familiar with Shadow Hearts (compared to the other letters I received) I'll be shipping you my copy of Shadow Hearts in a couple weeks. There are a few more items I want to search out and such, but once I'm done I'll send it to you. Hopefully it won't take longer than a couple weeks - work has me tied to my desk late into the night right now. Send me an address (not a P.O. Box) to mail it to. I'll send you an email to tell you when its on its way.

Andrew, thanks for facilitating this little contest.

Idioteque / Rowlan

 Spreading the love.

I miss Googleshng. You and he are both better Q&A columnists than all these first-time losers who don't know how to do it. Plus you have personalities that the readers can get to know over time due to the fact that you're actually doing the Q&A for more than one day. Why didn't they just pick one person to fill in for Goog while he was gone? It would've been much better.

I think Iíll let some of the guest hosts answer this one...

Alethea: You miss Googleshng? Aww...don't worry. Your favorite slime will be back soon, and you won't have to put up with the "losers" anymore. Funny...you seem to be an insignificant, whining negative voice among the numerous other readers and letter writers who thought the guest hosts were an interesting change of pace. But then, I guess all those other people don'tmatter to you. All that matters is your tasty little Googleshng/Duff fix. Heaven forbid that we should try something different and upset your digestive system. Your suggestion for selecting one person to fill in and hog all the limelight...why, that's pure genius! Why don't you come and work for us? We could use brilliant and inspirational people like you on the staff. We can even make you President. I'm sure Mikel Tidwell won't mind one bit because, after all, you are probably smarter than he is. Then, you can run the site as you see fit. It won't matter if people don't like the changes you make, because YOU like them, and that's all that matters. I guess we are just so stupid as to think that we can run a professional and popular web site devoted to RPGs. We apparently need your help more than we can imagine. Gee, I wish I was as smart as you think you are.

Heath: You know, the 1950ís were an interesting time period. Everyone pretending to be that perfect TV family, industry and technology both moving along rather well, the Fonze creating the legendary tales that would later be reenacted on mainstream television, and so on. All the while, people were remarkably afraid of change.

Apparently, you are living under the same type of fear. Something new comes alongójust for a while, evenóand it bothers / depresses you to the point you feel you must complain to someone. Now, if a simple online letters column rotating hosts for a while when one of the regulars is away causes you so much grief, Iíd hate to see what would happen if someone came up with a new style of music in your presence, or you happened to witness some swing dancing, or a TV show you enjoy got a new cast member, because you might just drop to the floor and die from shock. And may Heaven help us all when RPGamer finally changes its background.

In conclusion, Iíd suggest you lighten up. Or maybe you shouldnít since that seems to be the secret to getting all those readers in your Q&A columnÖoh, wait, let me reload this pageÖooohhhÖyou donít have a Q&A column. Well, hey, when you get one, and wield your obviously masterful skills, Iíll be sure to read it (provided someone actually sends you a letter) and learn from the king. And in the event that I should send you a letter, Iíll be sure to enclose a paper bag you can breath into, just incase you donít know the answer to the question.

Heath "Who wants to touch me?" Hindman

CainEJW: I don't want to be like Andrew anyway, he's a silly little man with boils on his eyes. I've seen them!

In seriousness, I didn't set out to be better than anyone when I did my hosting stint and I certainly didn't set out to be put up against people who have been doing it for years. I set out to use my 7-8 e-mails to answer questions as best I could, and have fun hosting a column I have been reading forever. It was a real experience for me to host the Q&A, and I thank those who let me. If you did not enjoy it because you expect everyone to host it just like Andrew and Google, then sorry your expectations are too high and too far-fetched. Not everyone is like Andrew or Google, and not everyone wishes to host the column like they do.

Next time keep your insulting comments expecting automatons to yourself and let people enjoy doing something like Q&A.

 To the depths of hell, for a timeshare vacation!

For some reason or another (more than likely due to spiteful wraith of my overworked and under-defraged computer) the e-mail link at the bottom of the Q&A page wouldn't work so I hope this is the right place to send. But anyway the questions-

1. Your bio says your from the Seventh Circle of Hell in Phlegethon? Do you have to have wireless internet or has At&t gone to hell... Oh and how much does a nice summer house go for there? I hear its warm.

Well, you sent your letter to the right place, and while Iíd normally contend that the Seventh Circle is a tad on the hot side, I realized Iím addicted to Dark Cloud 2, which is enough to constitute the whole level freezing over. Wee, ice skating through heck!

2. Whats your opinion of gunblades and what kind of design would you want?

2. Ick. Have you ever actually tried to use a hand gun? Those things are hard enough to aim on their own, and sticking on a dozen pounds of sharpened metal to it would just be ASKING to get you killed.

3. What game do you think you have played the most? I have played FF6 and tactics enough to fry a couple playstations...

I guess thats all

1. Well, you sent your letter to the right place, and while Iíd normally contend that the Seventh Circle is a tad on the hot side, I realized Iím addicted to Dark Cloud 2, which is enough to constitute the whole level freezing over. Wee, ice skating through heck!

2. Ick. Have you ever actually tried to use a hand gun? Those things are hard enough to aim on their own, and sticking on a dozen pounds of sharpened metal to it would just be ASKING to get you killed.

3. Final Fantasy Tactics definitely sucked up a huge amount of my time, but in general, any game I like I end up playing till Iíve cracked all the secrets anyway. All my old Super Nintendo RPGs were finished at least twice, but that was because of lack of new RPGs at the time.

 Your dancing is like sunshine on a cloudy day! You gained 10 exp!

DDRRPG, the awesomeness of DDR with the story of an RPG. I suppose the last boss could be The Legend of Max on heavy or something. Oh sure I've no clue how it'd work, or anything, but it's DDRRPG!!! Isn't that enough? Er, well could be worse I guess.


No, itís a GREAT idea. Youíd need two controllers, but you could really make use of the dance pad in battles. Think about it, the bossis about to perform a massive spell attack, and youíve got to quickly dance out your defense spell to protect yourself, and as soon as the boss begins casting again, you whip out a fast paced combo that triple slashes the boss and wins you the battle!

The hero could travel from town to town, learning secret dance moves and working his way up levels, which give him the ability to cast spells/do attacks quicker. Konami could call it Dance Dance Adventure, and you know itíd be a hit! *swoon*

 Holy crap!

If you're really looking for a new style for Q&A, you could always turn the column into a video Q&A. You know, like the Strong Bad e-mails. You could have cute little cartoon characters to represent you and Googleshng, and you could do silly things in between letters. The Queen of Dorks could be the animator, and you could do the voices yourself. Of course, the amount of work involved would be overwhelming, but maybe you could make it a once-in-a-while thing, or a special treat for your one-year anniversary, coming up in a few months.

Well, itís not a bad idea, but yeah, the time constraints of doing something like would be huge. Plus, Strong Bad usually answers letters that are roughly Quickie size in length, so it would take forever to do.

So, you've played a lot of games, eh? What would you say is your favorite non-RPG ever? I'd probably go with Super Smash Brothers Melee. I know it's a bit new to declare one of my favorite games ever, but that game is so addictive it's scary.

Uh...I guess Iíll go with Monopoly. Lame I know, but I play like the vicious bastard I am, and nothing is as satisfying as that moment when your opponent goes nuts and flips over the board. Remember folks, there are no winners in Monopoly, but owning Boardwalk is close enough.

Yesterday I completed the impossible, or at least the very difficult: I actually went through my stack of unfinished RPGs! Since I have a little extra money on my hands, and nothing terribly good's coming out this summer, I figure I'll go to Best Buy tomorrow and pick up an old game.

Problem is, I can't decide between Skies of Arcadia Legends, Shadows of Undentride, Final Fantasy Origins, or some old Playstation RPG I should've gotten four years ago. I could probably pick a game for myself, but I'd rather save the mental energy and let you make the decision for me. Have fun.

BL Alien

Since I donít know what games youíve just finished, and since I wouldnít recommend Skies of Arcadia to anyone, go pick up Dark Cloud 2. Youíll love it, or hate me. Either way, I win!

 Donít ask me, I just work here.

Greetings to you Sir Duff.

First, even though I am a longtime reader of this website, I am a bit of a newcomer to writing letters to this Q&A, so could you what topics of conversation I should never ask you and Google to avoid pissing the both of you off?

Hey, itís not so much what you say as H0w$ u s@Y 1T!!!111one

Second, I wish to plot out my development of my dream RPG on this Q&A. Before I do, I just want to know if it is okay with you to do such a thing. So...is it?

Sure, knock yourself out. If your letter gets too long Iíll snip it cleverly and mutilate your dream, much to my personal amusement.

...and if itís really good, Iíll rip it off! Yay!

Third, do you know of any original weapons that have existed exclusively for a fantasy RPG before and not just ripped off from the past of our reality? The only weapon I can remember being used exclusively for an RPG was the hookshot in the Legend of Zelda series.

Not off the top of my head, though Iím sure Chrono Cross and the Suikoden series have some incredibly good but also incredibly lame examples.

Finally, for your renovation project of the Q&A, why not create an ArfenHouse wallpaper for your Q&A since you are a big fan of the whole ArfenHouse thing?

Have a good weekend.
Good day to you.

Puppet NineTails

Hehe. Not a bad idea, though I doubt I could capture the true horror that is Arfenhouse into anything as common as a wallpaper.


So I saw the coolist thing while I was in Japan: A Cthulu plushie. I SO should have bought that thing.

Actually, I shouldn't have, because

a). I have no money

b). if I looked at it too long, I would go insane and die.

But it would have made a GREAT conversation piece until then!


When Cthulu rises from the murky depths he is going to be VERY upset that he wasnít getting any royalties out of all this merchandise. CRUSH, KILL, MERCHANDISING!

Drunken Rabbit,

I donít know what to write...

~MitsunesHatz- I Have No Life

If you canít think of what to say to an imaginary rabbit, you must have huge problems getting dates.

Greetings (lawyers sing) SHAD-RACK

My feelings are hurt now. *Goes SD and crying* Where are some more comics? I do have a drawing of myself coming along so I could be used in comic form.

Imperial Mog

Queen of Dorks has recently been depressed that she has no fan mail, and my prodding will only get her to work slowly. If you want more comics, send her an email telling her how much you love her work, I know I sure do.

The Final Grumble:

Next weekís topic-

What compels you to buy the latest RPG? Back in the bad old days, I bought nearly RPG that came out. Why? Because there was maybe a total of five RPGs a year, and I was a stupid little kid. Those games that I bought I played through all of them more then once. Nowadays, I have to really love a game to finish it off, and I find myself passing by games that a few years ago I would have picked up simply on the basis that they were RPGs. So I ask you, dear reader, what do you look forward to in your RPGs? An interesting battle system? The hint of deep and rewarding plot? Maybe just the sequel to your favorite series? Or are you on the opposite end of the spectrum? Searching the internet for amateur offerings and the chance to relive the glory days of 2D graphics and anime style emotions? Believe it or not, Iím interested in what those marketing dogs do to you that suckers you into buying a game, so send in a letter spilling out juicy info that I could sell to spammerís for millions.

Oh yeah, and donít forget to send Google plenty of letters tomorrow. Sheís really looking froward to answering them. Crazy, I know.

Andrew "BATTLE WRENCH" DuffClaire Belton

Howdy from Arizona!

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